Written In My Sins
by Broken-Devil
Summary: Spashley. 'No wonder Aiden chose you, you're feisty.' Spencers dating Ashley's best friend, Aiden.
1. Differing Opinions

**Another story that Anna and I came up with on MSN the other night. I have the last chapter ready of **_**Headlines and Lies **_**done but it is on my laptop, so until I can get it back I can't put it up. But it should be in the next week, or so. **

**This is slightly AU, in a way, but not really, but it dosen't follow the story of South of Nowhere, per say. Plus, as usual, the characters are a little bit different to what they would be on the show. **

**This is multi-chaptered by the way and I have no idea on how long it will be. Depends on Anna, her ideas and what response we get. **

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing that relates to South of Nowhere. Which is a pain, 'cause if I did; I wouldn't let fans wait so long. I'm in the UK; God knows when we get to see 3B lol.**_

**Chapter 1: Differing opinions. **

"I have something so, so, so important to tell you. You may not like it though." Ashley Davies cringed at the noise. Sure, she loved her best friend to death but right now she didn't need his little rants, especially since she had been told to write down how much money had been taken in for the day. It was a simple task, count the money, put it in a bag, write down the sum, throw it at the boss in the office and go home. It was simple, at least, until Aiden showed up, with his fancy white teeth and his muscles.

"If you're about to tell me you have some life-threatening illness and you have until the end of the week to live, can it wait?" She continued to count the cash keeping the small tune in her head that helped keep up with the flow of money. _Fifty, fifty-five, sixty, sixty-five._

"Ashley." He narrowed his eyes at the concentrating brunette. "Seventy, ninety, twenty-three." It wasn't that he was mean, or that he didn't like Ashley, he just wanted some attention. Which he rarely got, being the sidekick of the only girl in LA who was able to get a drink in any club within five minutes.

"Aiden! Seriously, now I've lost count." Brown eyes snapped up at the guy who was now leaning over the counter, trying to take a drink from Ashley's glass. "Touch my drink and I'll break your hand." The dark haired boy sighed and sat back in his stool.

"Let me tell you this important piece of information and I'll help you cash up when I've finished." Ashley considered his offer for a moment. She had only been working in the coffee house for a few months and letting some stranger help keep check on money was a big no-no. Then again, she was only working here because she totaled her Porsche into the side of said coffee-house, knocking over a stuffed Santa and a tin of coffee beans. Community service sucked, especially if you had the money to pay people off. What where her lawyers doing anyway? Apart from each other.

"Fine." She stacked the money once more to be ready to be counted. She only had a few more weeks of this and then she could be a free woman again. "What is this big life-changing news that entails me having to listen to your voice?" She actually did love Aiden, with all her heart and they had dated for a few months before; until she decided she liked girls. Aiden didn't have the right body parts to fit into that criteria. She just loved being a bitch to him more than admitting she loved him, it was more fun.

"I have a girlfriend." Ashley rolled his eyes at his confession and a raised eyebrow was all she got in return. "What?"

"Aiden, you always have a girlfriend." It was true. He always had some girl on his arm. Aiden Dennison was the perfect boyfriend that any girl could take home to their mothers. He was handsome, star basketball player, romantic at heart and a total gentleman. He also knew he had all these qualities and he made sure he could get any girl he wanted.

"So do you." Obviously, she was Ashley Davies.

"Not the point. Anyway, who is it this time?" She saw the outline of her manager and quickly picked up a wet cloth and began wiping down the surfaces until she was sure he was back in his office.

"Spencer Carlin." He dodged the wet cloth that was thrown at his head and held up his hands in mock surrender. "I said you might not like it."

"Of all the girls in King High that are slipping on their own drool for you; you have to go and pick Spencer Carlin?" She watched as he moved across the floor and picked up the cloth for her, plopping it onto the side and giving her a sheepish grin.

"She's cute."

"She's a total bitch. I should know, I sit next to her in English and she is so annoying."

"You don't talk to one another."

"Exactly. How annoying is it when somebody ignores you?" Ashley raised a challenging eyebrow and folded her arms waiting for a reply.

Sure, she wasn't the most popular girl in school but she had her reputation and people respected her. Respect and fear were one of the same thing right? Afterall you don't challenge the person you both fear and respect, do you? She had no time for the cheerleaders, Spencer included, and she had no time to play nice with people she didn't like. She had her friends and that was all she needed, but now, oh, things had changed. Her best friend was dating a cheerleader, which meant every party that Aiden hosted she would be there.

"Whatever. Look, I need to ask you something."

"No. You can't use my house to sleep with her so your parents don't find out."

"Ashley -"

"Or my pool house."

"No, it's not -"

"Or any of the spare bedrooms, or the swimming pool and you certainly cannot bring her to our movie nights." Afterall, they had been having them since they were ten and she still found it amusing scaring Aiden with spooky films.

"Ashley, I want you to meet her."

This time he didn't dodge the wet cloth quick enough.

---

"Ashley."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Ashley, it would mean so much to me. I need you to get to know her; she's going to be around a while." Heels clicked on the floor whilst trainers tried to keep up.

"All your girlfriends last about three weeks, Aiden. What makes Carlin so different?" She stopped at her classroom door and turned to her friend. How she had ever come to know him she didn't want to remember. It was something to do with a park, some swings and a few tears. His or her tears she could never remember.

"She just is. Look, you can bring one of your girlfriends." That earned him a slap on the back of the head.

"Girlfriends? As in plural?"

"Well, whoever you're dating at the moment. Jessie?" Aiden wasn't the only one to be sought after; Ashley had her fair share of dropped jaws and leering eyes.

"She was, like, six months ago you moron." She rolled her eyes at the pathetic face he was pulling and put her hand on the door handle. Sure she was fifteen minutes late to the lesson but she had a forged note that she had used a few classes ago saying she had an eye appointment.

"I'll pay for the meal."

"Goodbye Aiden." She went to open the door, slowly, waiting for a better offer. Plus, she didn't like English all that much.

"And the drinks." She opened the door and saw Spencer sitting in her seat. The class, including her, snapped their heads up before quickly dropping them back. Ashley being late was never something new.

"I'll tell you're girlfriend you said hi." Aiden appeared in the doorway as she walked in and Ashley took her seat next to Spencer. Alphabetical order wasn't one of her favourite things, but she figured it was an English class and the alphabet was included in English.

"I'll buy your damn dessert." Ashley looked up, satisfied with the offer and nodded her head. "Triple chocolate fudge cake, or whatever the hell you want."

"It's a date Mr. Dennison." She turned to Spencer and shot her a smile. "See you on Saturday."

---

Ashley stood in front of her locker, glaring at it and willing it to burst open. The damn thing never opened when she wanted it to, opened when she didn't want it to and jammed when someone cute was standing near her. At the moment it was just refusing, point blank, to open. She sighed and tried again, yanking hard and finally opening it. She peered inside, books and many pieces of paper were there and she threw her schoolwork into it. Not really caring where it landed.

"Ashley, right?" Brown eyes narrowed. She knew that voice, at least she thought she did. Turning around she found herself staring into blue eyes, they rolled and the girl took a step back. "I'm Spencer, Aiden told me to come over." Whipping around, and causing her locker to close in the process, Ashley shot daggers at her best friend who was waving weakly at her.

"Why? Is he too afraid to tell me himself that he's gay?" Ashley pondered that thought for a moment before shuddering. Their relationship was only big enough for one gay person and she took that spot and planted her flag.

"No. He said I should come over and say hi; get to know you a little better."

"We have all Saturday night for that." Desperately looking around Ashley tried to find someone, anyone, she knew. There was no way she was sitting with Aiden for dinner today.

"He asked me to ask you to come and sit with us." Ashley turned slowly and pushed a lock of brown hair away from her eyes. She quickly scanned Spencer and found that she chewed gum on the right side of her mouth, the sun was in her eyes and she liked clothes to be form fitting.

"Sorry, I'm busy."

"He said you'd say that."

"He knows me well." They stood in silence for a few moments before Spencer opened her mouth.

"I thought you were busy."

"I am." She quickly looked around trying to find something to be busy with.

"Doing what exactly?" The girl never knew when to give up, did she? Ashley licked her lips. Why was this girl good looking? It would be so much easier to suppress the urge to flirt if she wasn't good looking.

"Waiting for my girlfriend." Or, at least, the one that went to King High School. Ashley didn't actually know if she was in school today, they hadn't talked since Friday night and it was Friday now. She was unsure, also, if they were actually dating. Sleeping together three times dosen't constitute as a life long relationship, right? She wondered if the lack of calls had been because she had done something wrong. Instead of pondering the brunette watched, amused, as Spencer's eyes widened.

"You're...gay?" Ashley nodded. The whole of the school basically knew she was which made it easier to find something interesting to do on her lunch breaks when the volleyball teams were taking some time to cool off. The amount of repressed homosexuality scared her as much as it made her smile.

"Pretty much. Didn't you know?" The blonde just shook her head. "Where have you been all year?" Madison had made sure the whole of LA had known she was a lesbian.

"School, I don't pay much attention to much though." Ashley couldn't resist it.

"Of course not. You cheerbitches only pay attention to yourselves." She had tried to make it sound light but the flash in Spencer's eyes told her different.

"You can't say that. You don't even know me."

"I thought that was what we were doing now? Getting to know each other." She leant against her locker. Finally she caught the girl she had been waiting for a shot her infamous smile. The girl blushed and smiled back. So she hadn't done anything wrong. Unless, that wasn't her girlfriend and then she was screwed.

"So did I until you assumed all cheerleaders are the same." Ashley shrugged.

"I thought you were. With your pom-poms and butt-shakes it's hard to tell one clone from another." Ashley tried to find the girl again but she was nowhere to be seen. She shrugged mentally.

"Whatever." Spencer huffed and started to walk past Ashley.

"Who knew that cheerleaders could be so articulate? Soon you'll be able to spell your own name and say something is with more syllables."

"God, you're insufferable. Are you like this with everyone?" The blonde turned around and stared down Ashley.

"No, just to cheerleaders." Except for that one she danced with at the club a month or so ago. Though, she wasn't a real cheerleader. She just wore the outfit for a party.

"You know what? I'm going; I don't need your stereotypical views, comments or anything else. I'll see you on Saturday."

"No wonder Aiden chose you, you're feisty." Ashley couldn't help herself, she really couldn't. She tried to play it off as the protective best friend but, honestly, she just loved winding people up and seeing how far they would jump.

"Fuck you."

"I do. Quite a lot actually." She pushed herself off of her locker and smiled at the blonde.

"What?"

"Fuck myself. I do it quite a lot." Yup, she had a problem. But little blonde cheerleaders were way to easy of an opportunity to pass up.

"God, whatever." The blonde stomped off, white sneakers slapping across the concrete towards Aiden who now seemed to be regretting his decision.

"See you Saturday!"

She always had to have the last word. Ashley, with a smile on her face, turned around and walked away from where she had managed to piss yet another person off for the day.


	2. Good Deeds

**This has not been proof-read, sorry for any mistakes. **

**Chapter 2: Good Deeds**

"Ashley, come on!" Ashley raised an eyebrow at Aiden's voice on the otherside of the door. She would take her own damn time getting ready, especially if she didn't want to go. Suddenly, the door flew open and Ashley's hand flew to her chest.

"Seriously?" She stared at Aiden and sighed when he didn't back down. He knew her too well. "Look," she threw the top she had chosen over her head and posed dramatically. "I'm ready." She went to the mirror, sorted her hair, made sure her skirt was short enough and grabbed her purse.

"Finally. We were meant to pick Spencer up ten minutes ago." He grabbed her arm and practically dragged her out of her house.

"Well, why didn't you pick her up first?"

"Because, smartass, my mom won't let me use her car. So I need to use yours, which means I have to come here for you to drive me there so we can pick up Spencer." Ashley nodded, not really paying attention, before snapping her head up and pulling the keys out of her purse slowly.

"I'm driving? I don't wanna." She opened the door to the car anyway and climbed in, watching as Aiden jogged to the other side and jumped in also. "What if I want to get drunk?"

"You're too young. Plus, we're going for dinner, they wouldn't serve you." The brunette buckled herself in and started the car, making sure to grumble obscenities under her breath and began to drive.

"I don't even know where the _Cheer Barbie_ lives." She rolled her eyes at the sound of Aiden sighing.

"I'll direct you." He fiddled around with the radio for a while before turning to his friend. It was obvious she didn't want to be there but the two would do anything for the other. She didn't show it much, or at all on some days, but he knew that he was the most important person in her life. Minus herself. "Thanks for coming, Baby A." The look he received made him back off a little.

"What have I told you about calling me that outside of private areas?"

"We're in your car!"

"Not the point." She turned the car right as he pointed and slowed down a little, finding herself on a quiet street. "So, where does she live?" She turned and smiled. "Big A." The nicknames, Baby A and Big A stuck after a nine year old Aiden figured they had the same initials. Ashley, figured, Big A reminded her of the Big Apple and couldn't stop giggling at the images of Aiden as a round, green apple.

"She's stood outside. Can't you see her?" Ashley glanced around before spotting the blonde. No way, she was wearing practically the same shoes. If that wasn't blasphemy in the highest order she didn't know what was.

"She's like every other cheerleader. Stood on a street corner waiting for someone to pick her up." She pulled the car to the side anyway and ignored the small slap on the arm she got from her friend. "Fine, I won't insult her anymore." She looked out of the window as Aiden hopped out of the car to greet Spencer with a kiss and a cuddle. It would have been more romantic if he had his own car. Doors closing snapped Ashley out of her daze and she saw Aiden was now sat in the back, his arm draped around Spencer's slim shoulders.

"To dinner, Ashley." He earned himself another dirty look and Ashley whipped around.

"If you think I'm driving your lame ass around all night, Dennison, you have another thing coming." She pointed her finger at the boy in the back and he just nodded, her gaze moved to Spencer and she took a moment to look over the clothes she was wearing. "Hi." She turned back and started to drive again. "And don't even think about making out back there. That seat is reserved for me and anyone else I decide." A small smile graced her face at the sound of two people sighing.

---

"Eighteen, I don't have one, only child, single parent, Aiden and my dads leather vest." Ashley was bored. Aiden had disappeared about ten minutes ago to order drinks and food, but obviously in Ashley's mind he had gotten lost. It seriously didn't take that long. Plus, she had to answer Spencer's questions; so they could _bond _or something like that.

"Way to answer all my questions at once, Davies." Spencer slowly fiddled with the table cloth, feeling more and more uncomfortable. She hoped that by asking some questions she would be able to start up a conversation with the brunette but up until now, nothing good came of it.

"To prove how polite I am, same questions to you." That and she were sick of silence.

"I'm seventeen. My favourite subject is English. I have two brothers; one is nice the other is an ass and dating my friend. I live with both my parents, though I might as well only live with one. My best friend is Madison and my favourite article of clothing I have is a dress I bought in Europe." Ashley nodded. She didn't actually care all that much but it was better than having to sit through boring silence and looks of being very uncomfortable.

"Oh, right." Her sentence was met by more silence and the two girls searched, very obviously, for Aiden. They both noticed him and flashed him a smile, begging with their eyes for him to come and sit back down.

"So, how are my two favourite ladies?" He took his place next to Spencer on the booth and put his hand on her thigh gently.

"Fine." They answered simultaneously.

"Oh, well that's what I like to hear. Ash, I ordered extra fries." It took all her self worth and dignity not to start jumping then and there. Aiden knew her so well; that's why she kept him around.

"With -"

"Yes, I ordered the sauce you like."

"What about -"

"Would I forget nachos?"

"Nope. You wouldn't dare." She folded her arms defiantly and pursed her lips in an, almost, perfect pout. Only failing because of the giggling from the blonde across from her. "What?"

"You two. I've never seen such a close friendship." Ashley shrugged and watched Aiden smile, obviously glad for the opportunity to show Spencer the real side of Ashley.

"Well, we've known each other for so long. It's been, like, 12 years, or something hasn't it?" Ashley nodded, remembering when the two met. She couldn't remember the exact circumstances but she knew that for weeks, months and eventually years the two were like brother and sister.

"How do you put up with him?" The soft, teasing, voice of Spencer brought her back to reality and she glanced at Aiden. He was pleading with his eyes for her to just be civil, at the very least.

"I don't." She smiled at Spencer. "It's hard work dealing with an ego-maniac like him, but I have you now to share the burden."

"Me? You're the one who is so full of herself that you announced to the club, that you would screw yourself before even looking at the losers in there." For a moment Ashley looked alarmed at the allegation and opened her mouth to answer before Spencer butted in.

"I thought you did that anyway?" Oh, she was good.

"I do. But I always figure its better when someone else is there." She grabbed a few fries from the plate as it was being lowered, not giving the waitress a chance to put it onto the table. She smiled at the blonde woman who, by looking at her nametag, was called Carly. She bit her lip under Ashley's intense gaze and as soon as the brunette quirked an eyebrow she flushed bright red.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" Ashley was about to say something before she felt Aiden kick her shin under the table. She rolled her eyes at the small pain but continued with what she was going to say anyway.

"How about you give me your number? I'll phone you if I need anything." The blonde blushed again and tried, yet failed, to regain her composure. "But I think we're fine, thank you." The waitress quickly took the drinks off of the huge tray she was holding and made sure to brush across Ashley's hand as she put her coke in front of her.

"Have a nice meal." Ashley watched the girl walk away, eyes following the sway of her hips and only coming back to reality at Aiden's loud cough.

"What did I do?"

"Used a lame line, obviously." The brown eyed girl looked between the two people. One, the blonde, seemed to be highly amused and the other not so.

"I know." She hung her head in mock shame before bringing it back up again. "But I'll so have her number by the end of the night." As much as Aiden wanted to protest, he knew she was right, when Ashley wanted something; she got it.

The silence was cut by the shrill tone of a phone ringing. The song drifted through the table and Ashley couldn't place the song. She looked up at the blushing Spencer and narrowed her eyes in slight confusion. _She is way too shy to be a proper cheerleader. _

"I'm sorry. I have to take this." She kissed Aiden on the cheek before jumping out of the booth and making her way outside, quickly.

"So, what do you think?"

"She - cu - shy - tho - buh cu. Not - ma type - all." Ashley dipped another fry into the secret sauce and popped it into her mouth. She rolled her eyes at Aiden's confused expression and swallowed, glancing at the fries once more as if weighing up her options.

"What?"

"I said; she's cute, shy though, but cute. Not my type at all." She watched in horror as Aiden took a fry and dipped it in thesauce before eating it.

"That's what I like about her. She's different and she has a really nice personality."

"Which translates to: _she is good in bed but likes to talk about world affairs afterwards._"

"It's not all about sex, you know." Ashley contemplated that sentence for a moment before her eyes lit up and an amused expression adorned her face. "No, Ashley, don't even go there."

"You haven't slept with her have you?" Unable to suppress it the girl began to chuckle to herself, finding the situation highly amusing considering this was Aiden afterall. He could charm the knickers off of a nun.

"I said don't go there." He dropped his napkin onto the table in an attempt to look a little pissed off. It didn't have the effect he wanted.

"How long have you two been dating?" She poked the cheese with her nacho, her stomach was filling up quickly but she liked her food. She decided against eating again for a few more minutes.

"A month and a half." He saw the shocked expression on his friends face and quickly caught himself. "I didn't know it would last, that's why I didn't tell you sooner."

"Whatever. Why are you holding out anyway? Does she slobber all over you when you kiss?" Aiden shook his head, slightly amused at Ashley; she always had an opinion on anything. And she loved an argument, no matter what over, she loved it. Once, she argued with a priest over the existence of God and made the guy cry with her comments.

"My sex life is none of your business. Now shut up, she's coming back." Ashley ran her fingers across her lips as a sign she was shutting up and continued to draw her name in the cheese. This was proving to be more difficult than she first thought.

"Aiden, can I stay at your place tonight?" Spencer slid into the booth. Ashley frowned; the girl did not look good when something was bothering her. What was happening to smiling blondes? Like the waitress.

"Babe, you know you can't. My mom would freak and I'm helping her and dad tomorrow with the garage." He wrapped his arm around the girl's shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "Is it happening again?"

"Yeah."

"What do you want to do then?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "I'll phone Madison later, but she's out with Glen." Ashley watched the banter, obviously upset at not knowing what was going on and Aiden knowing something that she didn't. That was plain rude.

"What's up?" She wiped her hands on her napkin and glanced between the two of them as they remained silent. "Hey, seriously, I asked a question. Plus, I have a car so if I'm taking you anywhere I need to know."

"Spencer needs a place to stay." Ashley sent him a look that simply read; "_no shit sherlock" _and turned her gaze to Spencer.

"I'm not taking you to Madisons. Do you know how many sexual dieses can travels through the air?" Spencer looked up at her.

"None." The blonde, though confused, had a small smile tugging on her lips.

"They can if Madison is in the area."

"Ash, why dosen't Spencer stay at yours. It's not like you don't have the room." Aiden squeezed Spencer's shoulder gently. "I mean, she can't stay at mine and I don't think you want to be traveling across town just to come back. Right?" Ashley glared at the boy. If she didn't love her nachos so much, she would have thrown the plate at him.

"But I wanted to spend the night with Katie." She knew it wouldn't get her out of the situation but it was worth a try.

"The waitress? Her name was Carly, Ashley." The brunette was met with blue, pleading, eyes when she turned her head and rolled her eyes again. She lost count of how many times she had done that tonight, but each time was so worth it.

"Katie, Carly, it dosen't matter. It'll be my name she'll be screaming at the end of the night." Aiden reached his hand across the table and covered his friend's hand.

"It's just one night." He looked at her and Ashley suppressed the urge to slap his hand. Now wasn't the time to say she was too hot to touch.

"Ugh, fine, whatever." She threw her hands up in defence. "I'm so going to Heaven for my good deed."

"I don't think one good deed counteracts all those sins you have committed." Aiden smiled and then looked at the blonde. "Would you be okay staying at Ashley's? Her house is huge; you probably won't even see her until the next morning. Which is something you should avoid." The blonde giggled and nodded her head.

"If it's okay with Ashley. We can get to know each other some more." She smiled at the brunette who was now busying herself in her nachos. "Can't you stay with us?"

"No, I promised my parents I'd help and you know what they're like." She just nodded and let her head rest against his chest. "I'll pick you up in the morning though. Bright and early."

"Anything before ten, Dennison, and I'm not opening the door." She finished off her last nacho with a huge gulp of her coke.

"I know the access code."

"Oh yeah. See, now I know who has been searching through my underwear drawer. Must be you sneaking in." She sent the couple a wicked grin, which was returned by Spencer, shocking her.

"Whatever, Baby A, want another drink?" He unhooked himself from Spencer and gathered the empty glasses together. Ignoring the death glare Ashley was sending him and reveling in the fact he had one over on her.


	3. Get To Know You

**Chapter 3: Get To Know You**

"Aiden, when do you have to go home?" Ashley frowned at the pair making out on her bed. The image of the two rolling around, lips locked and hands going into places she didn't want to know was something she didn't want to endure any longer. She was all for being into one another, but taking it literally was something she didn't like.

It was her room.

They finally smacked their lips away from one another for a few moments, each breathing heavily and keeping darkened eyes locked.

"About twenty minutes ago." Ashley stared at him incredulously. "What? I can't help it if Spencer is the best girl I've ever kissed, can I?" The brunette simply folded her arms.

"I wouldn't know; I haven't kissed her. Now move, you big moron, I want to go to bed." She poked him for good measure and watched as Spencer wiggled away from underneath him. The blonde stood at the side of the bed and sorted her top out.

"It's not even one in the morning yet; you haven't slept before one since you were about twelve."

"Don't care. It's the first Saturday, in a long time; I have been the only one not getting any action. So unless you want me to jump on your girl, I suggest you leave. That way I can call that Carly and have dirty phone sex." Her little speech had both other people in the room shaking their heads, until Aiden snapped his head up; grinning happily.

"So, you're saying; if I don't leave you'll jump Spencer?" She nodded. "I'm not leaving."

"You're such a dirty perv!" A single pillow was thrown and Ashley had to admit the blonde had good pillow action. It made a satisfying noise as it connected with the back of the dark haired boys head.

"Exactly what I was thinking, Carlin." She poked Aiden again. "Go."

"But if I stay it would be so hot." Ashley rolled her eyes. This was exactly why she didn't date the male species; they were idiots. Unless they shut up and got on with it, which used to be fun. "Plus, like you said you ain't been getting any."

"Are you trying to set me up with your best friend, or something?" Spencer's voice raised an octave, as she stood shocked at her boyfriend's antics.

"Ever since he found out I was a raging lesbian he's tried to make me make out with at least one of his girls. I think it's something to do with him being the one that turned me gay."

"I was not!"

"You were the last guy I ever slept with before I accepted who I was." She lay back on the bed, as he stayed silent. "Seriously, I'm not making out with Carlin."

"Fine. You don't know what you're missing though." He stood up and buttoned his shirt where Spencer's fingers had wandered. "I'll come and pick you up about eleven, babe." He gave her one last, lingering, kiss and walked out of the bedroom. Before the door was shut he poked his head back in. "Last chance 'cause I really wouldn't mind stay –"

"Piss off." It was Ashley who threw the pillow this time, missing him by inches as he slammed the door shut quickly. "Men." She grumbled, going to the door and picking up the object.

"No, really, how do you deal with him?" Ashley shrugged as a response to the blonde.

"Ignorance pays off I guess." In slight dramatic form the brunette propelled her petite body onto her bed and lay face down into her pillow, waiting until she ran out of oxygen before turning her head. "Did I show you the guest bedroom?" She watched as the blonde shook her head as an answer. Blue eyes turned to hers and Ashley threw out a tanned arm pointing in the general direction. "Down the hall, first door on your left. You can use the bathroom whenever you want, the towels are already there, remote for the TV is in the top drawer and - actually, I don't know what else there is. I've not been in there that often."

"You have an en-suite bathroom in your guest bedroom?" The blonde sat down, the bed dipping slightly causing Ashley to frown at being moved.

"All the bedrooms do. The pool-house has a small one but that's not even worth the mention." She turned and sat up so she could see Spencer better. "So, Carlin. You and Aiden, huh?" Spencer saw the glint in her eyes and began to feel a little out of place.

"Yeah. You don't mind, right? I'm not stealing him away from you, or anything." The blonde fiddled with her nails, expecting to have the best friend come down on her and threaten that if she ever hurt Aiden she would pay for it.

"Take him. I'll even throw in a bag of cookies as a consolation present." Without warning the brunette leaned across Spencer and grabbed something from the desk beside her. "Coke?" She sat back up holding two bottles, noticing the raised eyebrow. "I'm too lazy to go downstairs so I store them in my little cabinet. Aiden is too dense to think about looking there and the help are just glad I'm not asking them to get me one." She held out the bottle and let Spencer take it from her.

"Thanks." She played with the top for a while before Ashley spoke again.

"You two had sex yet?" If the blonde had been drinking then it would have been pretty certain she would have choked. Or, spat it out in the brunettes face. Both disgusting options, really.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, sex? The horizontal tango. Getting down to it. Making _lurve._" Ashley's face was so serious that Spencer wasn't sure if she could answer without insulting the girl. "Screwed one another? Has he taken you to the stars? Did he poke -?"

"I get it! I get it." She held her hand up to stop the babbling of the teenager. "Not that it is any business of yours, but no we haven't."

"Yeah. I know, Aiden told me, but I didn't believe him so I asked you." The brunette hid her smirk and drank some of the dark liquid. She loved her coke. It was like a natural, legal, drug that kept her going. That, and coffee. Both wondrous things in her opinion.

"You asked about our sex life?"

"He's my best friend. Plus, it was kind of obvious. He's getting all fidgety." Another raised eyebrow caused Ashley to continue. "You raise your eyebrow more than I roll my eyes."

"Whatever. What do you mean he's all fidgety?" Saying she was intrigued was an understatement.

"You know Aiden, Carlin. By nearly 2 months he would have covered chapters 1 through 23 in the 'Sex Guide for Teens', or whatever the moron reads." She leant back and put her bottle on the desk that stood near her bed.

"Well - He's different with me. I don't want to rush, I mean...You know what I mean, right." Ashley just nodded and in a moment of clarity shocked Spencer.

"Just wait until you're ready. You'll know when it feels right, Aiden's a decent guy. Total idiot, perv and overall moron - but he's decent. He'll wait."

"Yeah." Spencer bit her lip. Underneath the perfect couple facade they pulled, Spencer had her doubts. She dated Aiden after persistent calls and texts and kissed him for the first time when two glasses of Vodka lined her stomach. There was always something missing though, he always kissed her more passionately than she kissed him and he preferred hugging him to making out. She shook her head, not wanting to doubt Aiden anymore than she already did. "I'm going to bed, is that okay?"

"It's a free world. See you in the morning, Carlin." The two said a civil goodnight and Ashley watched the girl retreat from her room.

She fiddled with her phone before finding Carly's number, which she had retrieved while Aiden had cornered Spencer in the parking lot, and pressed her little green button. Her night had gone fairly well, she figured it could only get better.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey. It's Ashley, I figured out what I want."

---

Ashley stared at the little toaster waiting for it to pop up. She was leant on her hands on the counter top, holding herself eyelevel with the silver device and tapping her foot as she became impatient. Why didn't little silver things understand when she was hungry? That way she wouldn't have to wait.

She quickly looked at the clock, not wanting to take her eyes off of her prize for too long and noted it was half nine. She was bored and wanted to phone someone, but every other normal person she knew (not including Aiden) would be asleep. She tapped her foot to a tune now, each time it hit the floor it would be the drum and her voice would be the harmony of everything else.

Her hair sat in a messy bun on top of her head, curls sticking out to the side and the rest pulled back so it didn't annoy her. She backed away from the counter and continued to hum her song, becoming bored with looking at the electronical instrument and trying to find something more amusing. Where was a Speedo-clad Aiden when you needed one? She internally shuddered at the thought before voicing her opinions in an elongated 'ew.'

"Morning."

"Holy mother of -" She span around and was met with the face of a tired Spencer. She had a sudden urge to coo and Aww at her, what with all her bed hair and tired expression but she didn't. Because she had dignity and the girl seemed to be confused. "What are you doing up?"

"I'm always up before ten."

"But it's a weekend. It's, like, an unwritten rule to get drunk and stay in bed 'til about one." Her voice held such passion that anyone would find it hard to doubt her words. Spencer watched as she opened her mouth to say something, but a click interrupted them and Ashley sped away to meet the toaster. A plate was already sat on the side and Ashley fiddled around for a while, before turning back to her kitchen companion; a satisfied looks on her face and a 'pop-tart' in her mouth.

"Right. Is it okay if I get a coffee?" She watched the girl munch happily as she pointed to some random jars, which Spencer hoped contained her choice of drink. "Thanks." The two sat in relative silence for a while before talking about random subjects, slipping into easy conversation.

Over a period of half an hour, Spencer had learnt that Ashley's favourite instruments were the guitar and the drums, that the smell of vanilla or the taste of cherries turned her on; she thought that the colour black was underrated and she hated spiders with a passion.

Ashley on the other hand found Spencer had a thing for pink, chocolate was her weakness, her parents seemed to want her to be more than perfect and she hated the taste of pickles. The brunette had been amused endlessly at Spencer's confession to having one Barbie DVD and only relented when Spencer had caught her humming the 'Rugrats' theme tune.

"You should get ready, Romeo will be here soon." Ashley piped up over the silence that had surrounded them for the past ten minutes. After trying not to laugh at the blonde when she mentioned that Aiden had an issue of being a bit _over enthusiastic _with his tongue when he was drunk, she had grown bored.

"I am ready." Shock crept onto Spencer's features and Ashley took a moment to look over the other girls clothing.

"But, you wore that yesterday." She scrunched up her nose a little. Granted the girl still pulled it off she couldn't walk around in the same clothes the next day. What about sweat?

"I know. It wasn't exactly planned that I would stay out though, was it? I'll get Aiden to drop me off home and I'll shower and change there." The brunette nodded, clearly only half-satisfied with the answer but not sure how to argue with logic. "Thanks for letting me stay though."

"It's what friends do, isn't it?"

"We're friends?"

"No. Me and Aiden are. You're Aiden's girlfriend, you needed help, which lead to Aiden needing help, which leads to me and I always help my friends." It seemed simple to the Davies girl.

"Oh." The blonde traced the rim of her coffee cup, unsure why she had considered that her and Ashley would be friends. Her point had been made that Ashley only let her stay at the house because of commitments to Aiden. She looked at Ashley who was staring at something behind her, the blonde turned and saw a robust woman hanging up some keys next to the fridge and making her way around. "Who's that?"

"I have no idea." Ashley continued to watch, mouth open just a little and a confused expression adorning her features. The woman came in front of them, swept away their used breakfast utensils, put them into the dishwasher and walked out of the room. Muttering incoherent things about teenagers and having no respect.

"You don't know?" Spencer finally turned back to the brunette, who shrugged. The two sat in total silence for a few seconds before laughing with one another, confused at the whole situation but finding it funny nonetheless.

"My mom probably hired her." Ashley explained once the two had calmed down. "I don't have much of a say in that area." She smiled at Spencer and was pleased when the girl smiled back, obviously enjoying one another's company but too different to admit it.

"That would be because you're hardly ever home, Ash." The two girls turned around and saw Aiden standing in the kitchen doorway. He sported an old beaten down jacket and a pair of jeans that had a seemingly large hole in the knee, Ashley had to remind herself he was on garage duty before she called him homeless or something.

"Probably." She hopped off of her stool and looked at the blonde, who still hadn't moved. "I guess I'll be seeing you around then, Carlin." The girl took a few more moments before, also, getting off of the stool and walking towards Aiden.

"Yeah. Thanks again, Ashley."

"Ash, are you coming to the party at Kyla's place on Wednesday? I hear it is going to be huge." Ashley simply stared at the guy like he had grown some sort of head. Everybody was going to Kyla's party, her house made Ashley's' look like a campervan and the only reason she was hosting it was because the school was having the Thursday off, for some inspection. Kyla Woods knew how to host a party and Ashley Davies knew how to party. "I know, you two are practically sisters but I was still wondering if you were going."

"Of course I am. Kyla would kill me otherwise and we're cousins, you moron, not sisters."

"Whatever, it's all family to me." He wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders and pulled her closer. "Ready to go?" The blonde nodded before wiggling her way out of the embrace.

"Yeah." She turned to the other female in the room and sent her a half-wave. "See you Wednesday night then." The girl nodded and Spencer's hand was caught in Aiden's, she squeezed it affectionately and the two made their way out of the house.

"So, was Ashley okay with you? I know she can be a bit of a pain." Aiden fastened his seatbelt and started the car, glancing over at his girlfriend before smiling as she leant over and kissed his cheek softly.

"She's fine. I'm pretty sure I can handle her." The pair locked eyes for a moment before Aiden leant in and caught Spencer's lips between his own. The blonde felt fingers stroking her cheek gently but pulled back slowly, trying to hold the teasing look on her face, as she felt a tongue grace her lips.

"Hmm, I missed you last night." She smiled at the compliment and Aiden began to drive, licking his own lips and sending a quick glance over at Spencer. "You taste nice. Is that a new lip-gloss, or something?" The blonde nodded and fiddled with her fingernails.

"Yeah, it's cherry flavor. Do you like it?"


	4. Madison Talks

**Got the files back for 'Headlines and Lies' so the last chapter will be up soon. Only put this one up because I have a busy few weeks ahead, so I doubt I'll even look at the computer until after everything. Plus, the ex-boyfriend is having a major freakout and he's annoying me so I'm happily avoiding MSN and E-Mails, lol. **

**Chapter 4: Madison Talks**

Spencer watched the new routine, sharp cuts and high kicks. Madison made many changed to it for the game that was coming up at the end of the month and the cheer-squad had to get it down perfect within the next few weeks. They really didn't have long, but Madison was working them hard and announced they were doing a Saturday practice.

All eyes in the gym snapped up at the sound of the huge double doors opening. The guys, who were training also for the big game, all stopped and turned wanting to know who would have the nerve to walk in while training was in progress.

There were a few cat-calls that echoed through the gym and Spencer tried to look past the sweaty men to find the object that they found interesting. They all parted and Ashley came into view; the small smile that graced her lips couldn't be fought. She walked on an air of confidence, something not many people would do around the most popular people at King High. Ashley had her status though and she showed it. Her head was held high and her eyes were set on her destination, the cheerleaders.

"Watch out girls, the lesbo is back in town." Madisons voice was the only one to ring out in the now silent gym. The fued that had been going on between Madison and Ashley had been simmering ever since Spencer came to the school. No-one actually knew what it was over, certain people stood by one of the two girls and the tension derived from that only came to a high when Madison and Ashley faced one another. Spencer could feel it now, the two girls stood their ground while the rest of the team backed off a few steps. Even the basketball players stopped their passing drills to watch; it was a rare occasion Ashley would walk into the gym afterschool. Or anytime at all.

"I'm not here for you." Spencer caught the look between Ashley and Jennifer, one of the other cheerleaders. The blonde blushed, looked away and began fiddling with her skirt and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on. Spencer watched the exchange and wondered how Ashley got away with the things she did. Wondered how she could ever do the things she did and still know she was admired.

"Then why are you here? You're not wanted." Ashley began walking, slowly, to the head cheerleader. Her heels echoed in the large room and Spencer had a funny feeling some type of horror music would start playing and Ashley would turn on Madison, like a woman possessed.

"I need to give Carlin a message." Her head snapped around and Spencer took in a lungful of air. Intentional or not, Madison had gotten under Ashleys skin just by being there and anyone in the crossfire was going to be hurt.

"Fine. Practice is over anyway, girls. Meet back here tomorrow after school and we can try the routine again." The latina began getting her things together and the squad trotted back to the changing rooms, obidient of Madisons words.

"Actually, I need you too Madison." The girl stopped and Spencer was quick to break whatever foul language would float out of either girls mouth next.

"What's up?" The feeling of being ignored resurfaced. The basketball team had quietly left a few moments earlier and they were the only three people in the room, Ashley and Madison with locked figures and Spencer stood on the outside. Ashley began to talk, but her eyes didn't leave the cheerleader in front of her.

"Aiden was sick during Maths, the nurse sent him home. He's fine now but he told me to tell you he can't give you a lift home." Finally brown eyes met blue and Spencer tilted her head. "What? I said he's fine."

"Right, but why did he tell you to give me that information?" Ashley rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"He was your lift home." Spencer finally clicked and looked around for a moment, as if she was lost. "So that's where Madison comes in. She's fucking your brother, your brother lives with you - she can give you a lift home."

"Right, message delivered. Get out of here." Madison glared at the small girl and smirked at the feather she had ruffled.

"Whatever _princess_." With that Ashley turned on her heel and began walking away. Spencer glanced at Madison and saw her face had paled considerably, there was no witty comeback and instead the girl huffed a little, grabbing her things and stalking off to the showers.

---

"Thanks for the lift." Spencer watched the cars roll by out of the passenger window. She waited for an answer but ever since her run-in with Ashley the head cheerleader and resident King High bitch hadn't said more than a few words.

"How close are you to Ashley?" The question caught the blonde off guard but she answered anyway, eyebrow creased in confusion.

"Not very. She's Aiden's best friend, we're civil to one another I guess."

"Good. Don't get too close to her, Spencer, she dangerous." Madisons tone had taken on an element that Spencer couldn't quite put her finger on. Her eyes had narrowed slightly and she was tense, obviously the two had a past.

"She's alright with me." She turned and looked out of the window again before looking back at the driver. "What's the deal with you two?"

"Me and Ashley?" She glanced at Spencer, the car still stuck in traffic and saw her nod. "We used to be best friends and now were not. End of story." Spencer knew there was more to it than that. Best friends didn't fall out over night and become the worst of enemies.

"What happened?"

"We grew apart." The girl shrugged, becoming frustrated at the build up of traffic, knowing they would be sat there for a while. "Look, you seem a nice girl. The only one of us cheerleaders who seems to care about other people, not just themselves, so I figure I can trust you with this. Afterall, I class you as one of my closest friends." Spencer knew Madison thought highly of her and though the latina would never voice her opinons outloud, the feeling was there.

"Thanks?"

"Spence, I know I'm not the most trusted person in King High but please believe me when I say that Ashley Davies is bad news." The girls looked at one another and Spencer saw the change in the girls eyes, like they were remembering something. "Me, Aiden and Ashley used to be best friends." Spencer straightened up, knowing this was going to be one hell of a story.

"Yeah, Aiden mentioned something."

"If you breathe a word of what I am about to tell you, I swear I'll make the rest of your life at King High a nightmare." The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde version of Madison finally raised it's ugly head and Spencer had been waiting for it. This story was bound to have some type of catch.

"I understand, Madison."

"Right." She crept the car forward a little, cursing at how small of a distance they had moved. They remained silent for a while and Spencer thought for a moment the topic had been dropped, before Madison turned the volume of the radio down. "We were all best friends from about ten. Ashley and Aiden were the closest, but my dad knew Ashleys mom and we used to get put together to play and things."

Spencer watched as the girls eyes narrowed again and sat back in her seat, not sure if she should talk or answer; instead choosing to just stay quiet. Not wanting to rile the girl up in such a cramped space.

"It was always Aiden and Ashley though. Aiden was the first Ashley told about her first kiss, then me. Ashley was the first Aiden told about his first time, then me. Aiden was the first Ashley came out to and she didn't even tell me. No, I had to find out from Aiden." She shook her head and smoothed her hands down the wheel.

"I could understand why she didn't tell me, I guess. My parents are not very 'yay-gay' if you know what I mean? She was scared enough about coming out to Aiden but he and his family welcomed her with open arms and told her sexuality didn't matter, that she was still their little Ashley. My family wouldn't do that, so she didn't tell me."

The blonde, for the first time, felt bad for Madison. She knew what it was like to feel ignored, she had grown up with two older brothers and two very busy parents. She would be overlooked and considered to be okay. She had four role-models to look up to, she didn't need looking after.

"I'm sorry, Mads." The girl continued, almost as if she hadn't heard Spencer.

"When I asked her about it she said she didn't come to me first because she was scared about how I would react. I mean, how bad is that? She didn't even trust me, her own friend, a girl nonetheless! No, she went to Aiden like she always did." Madison shook her head and moved the car forward a little more, the traffic beginning to ease. "I told her it didn't matter and she was still my friend, then everything was okay for a while."

Spencer bit her lip, the girl next to her wasn't half the person she knew at school. The person next to her had regrets and deep seated problems that only ever seemed to creep out when pushed and prodded enough, but it was too dangerous to do such a thing.

"Then rumors started and word got around that she was gay. By this time, the school had noticed me and Aiden were very atheletic and we had signed up to teams but Ashley hung back; excelling in music. Anyway, one day Ashley came up to me and started screaming that I had set up all the rumors and told everyone that she was gay. I told her it wasn't me and that I wouldn't do such and thing and she called me a 'cheer-bitch' and said that I had changed."

The traffic had started flowing again and Madison began to drive, with extreme care considering the state she was getting herself into.

"I said some things to her that I shouldn't have and during the argument I shouted about her first time with a girl, Maggie or something. The whole school basically heard and because Ashley didn't deny it, they all laughed at her and she was automatically outcasted. She just stood there as if she was waiting for me to apologise but I didn't, I just laughed along with them because I didn't want to be an outcast. Money and popularity makes the world spin, that's what my sister says."

"So, why is Ashley bad news? Up to now it just seems she's been getting a hard time." Spencer shrunk back at the withering glare Madison sent her way and quickly realised the girl hadn't finished her story, if anything she was building up to it.

"From then she stopped answering my calls and would insult me whenever she got the chance. I didn't blame her, but enough is enough don't you think? So we started arguing more and other things happened that brought us to the place we are at. But the girl, God Spence, she went out of control for ages. Drug, sex and alcohol were the only things that seemed to matter to her and anyone who tagged along either got their heartbroken or ended up in trouble."

Spencer just nodded along. She wasn't sure if Madison was telling the truth or bending it to fit her own needs and to make herself look good, then again she didn't have much of an argument and Madisons word was the only one.

"What other stuff happened?" She had to ask.

"I don't want to talk about that." The car made a sharp turn right and Spencer held onto her seatbelt. "Only three people know what happened and I don't need anymore to know."

"You, Aiden and Ashley?" The latina nodded and turned the car again. "So, it happened ages ago?" This time the girl shook her head.

"A few months ago, that's why we fight more now. But it happened and it's in the past now, the three people I trust most know about it and I know no-one else will find out."

"You trust Ashley?" Spencer heard her voice raise a little, obviously shocked by that news.

"We don't get on, I get that. But I know it would ruin her as much as it would ruin me if anyone found out what happened, Aiden is too loyal to say anything and I know I'm not going to spill any secrets to anyone." The car came to a stop outside of Spencer's house and the two girls got ready to climb out. "Remember, Spencer - Don't tell anyone I've told you anything. Everyone at school thinks a certain, different, story happened. That's the way it'll stay; I only told you so you'll pick your friends wisely." She paused and she looked at Spencer willing her to believe her. "Ashley has a way with people. She charms you into a false sense of security and then she leaves, she hurts you and runs. You don't want that."

"Okay." The two got out of the car and Madison pressed the little button that signalled it was locked. "Madison?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did Ashley call you princess?" The girl stopped halfway up to the Carlin's front door, they could both hear the distant footsteps of Glen running down the stairs to meet Madison.

"That's another story you don't need to hear." The shifted her bag and turned to Glen who was now in the front door, sporting a large grin. They boy had been away for two days with an out of school basketball team, arriving back today. "Hey baby." Madisons whole attitude changed back to the one everyone knew at school and Spencer smiled ruefully at how fast people covered themselves up in LA, everything had a mask.

Spencer walked past the kissing couple and threw her things down in the hallway. "Hey sis." Spencer turned and greeted her brother with a small smile, the two only ever got on in private. "I'm going Madisons, tell mom I'll be back late." Before Spencer could answer the front door was shut.

"Whatever."

---

Spencer rolled her eyes, the annoying ringing of her phone and the vibrations it sent through her table had woken up from her, not so peaceful, slumber. She grabbed it and glanced at the caller ID, finding she didn't know the number at all. Instead of using her common sense and ignoring the call, she answered it.

"Hello?"

_"I'm bored. Come entertain me." _

"Ashley?" Spencer sat up and rubbed at her eyes with her fingers. What time was it? She looked at her clock and saw it was a little past two.

_"The one and only. I hope there's no other Ashley's calling you, I'm the only one worth your call time." _

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

_"Nope, not a clue. You know I didn't phone you so we could have a good ol' chat about the time." _

"Then why did you phone me?" Spencer fell back into her pillows and closed her eyes.

_"I wanted to see what phone-sex with my best friends straight girlfriend would be like. I've read somewhere it is very libertating." _

"What? Ashley I -" She fumbled for an answer, Ashley's voice was deadly serious and she wasn't sure what to do.

_"God, don't have a freaking heartattack, Carlin. I phoned cause I'm bored and I want something to do."_

"So you called me?"

_"Obviously. You catch on very quick, no wonder you get A grades." _

"It's a school night, I should be asleep. Forgive me if I'm a little slow. How the hell did you get my number?"

_"Aiden. And you're forgiven, I have a weakness for begging blondes."_

"Right." She felt slightly bad. She hadn't called Aiden to see if he was okay, but she had assumed her would have been asleep. Now here she was talking to his best friend and finding it hard to put the phone down. "Where are you?"

_"Stood outside your window." _

"You're what?"

_"No. YOUR window."_

"Ashley. What are you doing here?" She scrambled out of bed and quickly made her way to her window, the sound of Ashley chuckling in her ear. She pulled back the curtains and there the brunette was, stood in her garden and walking in little circles as she talked.

_"I told you I'm bored. Oh, hey, I see you."_

"Yeah, I know. I'm waving back, see?" Spencer returned the wave and opened her bedroom window, instantly regretting it when a sharp breeze hit her. "Why are you here? Can't you stalk someone else?"

_"No-one else is a pretty as you are."_

Spencer blushed hard and she knew it, that wasn't what she was expecting. Aiden had told her that Ashley was a flirt and to take no notice, but she hadn't ever been called pretty before. Beautiful, sexy, hot and gorgeous; yes. Pretty was a compliment she didn't hear, often.

_"Are you going to let me in? Or shall I freeze my boobs off in your garden?" _

"Fine. Stay there, you're such a loser." Spencer shut her window and quietly made her way downstairs, hanging up her phone as she did so. She opened the front door and there stood a grinning Ashley, tight jeans, tighter jacket and high heels making theirselves known on her body.

"Hi, Carlin."

It was going to be a long night.


	5. Work of communication

**Just want to congratulate my friend on getting accepted at Edinburgh University. I'm so proud of you! **

**Chapter 5: Work of communication.**

Spencer shifted her weight on her bed and looked at Ashley, who seemed content to lie on her stomach on the floor, wondering how the hell she had gotten herself into this situation. There was a bored brunette, an empty plate of cookies, a confused blonde and an e-mail that still hadn't loaded all crammed into Spencer's small room.

"Why didn't you go to Aiden's if you were so bored?" Ashley was up a lot quicker than Spencer would give her credit card and was sat on her bed in seconds. Instead of commenting the blonde simply looked at the excited girl, thanks to coffee and waited for her answer.

"Because he moaned about being ill and I so don't need that."

"What about Jennifer?" She couldn't help but ask. She was curious, the exchange she had seen earlier had piqued her interest considerably.

"Who?" Obviously it didn't keep Ashley interested.

"Cheerleader, about my height, blonde." Ashley raised an eyebrow and looked at Spencer's laptop that was perched on the bed. She was trying to read her e-mails, after remembering she messaged her friends, at least once a week, back in Ohio.

"That cuts it down to about twelve girls on the team."

"She has a thing for you."

"That cuts it down to about twelve girls on the team." The smirk on Ashley's face was nothing short of adorable and Spencer rolled her eyes, amused with her new friend's confidence. "Seriously, who are we talking about?"

"The one you made blush today."

"Oh." The young rebel tucked her legs under herself and seemed to think long and hard about every girl she had encountered in the last few weeks, trying to pin one face to another. "Ohh." She clicked onto who it was. "Because she's boring. I kissed her once, at a club, a few weeks ago. Everytime I look at her now she blushes, it's weird."

"I didn't even know she was into girls."

"Not many straight girls can tell someones sexuality. We lesbians get gaydar built in from day one, with a years guarantee if anything goes wrong." The raise of Ashley's eyebrow told the younger girl that she wasn't being serious but Spencer couldn't help but feel a little left out from Ashley's words.

"I suppose." She feigned ignorance. "Why don't you like her?"

"Because she claims she is straight." Spencer looked at the brunette and signaled with her eyes for her to continue. "Too much hassle and running around behind peoples backs. I'd rather know where I stood with a girl and not have to make a little fun into a whole-load of drama. My rules are simple; no straight girls, no girls in relationships and definitely no cheerleaders." She grinned at the blonde. "I suppose you're out of the picture, sorry." Ashley put a hand over her heart and sighed dramatically.

"I'm pained to hear that." The younger girl laughed before turning her attention back to her laptop to read her e-mails. "I have an e-mail off of you." She looked at the brunette who was now looking at her nails; brown eyes looked up and smiled.

"Yeah, I sent it, like, two days ago when I was at Aiden's. It dosen't say much."

Spencer, intrigued, opened the e-mail anyway. Almost laughing out loud at Ashley, finding that the girl was right and that the e-mail actually said nothing interesting.

_From: Ashrocksit_

_To: Ohioqte_

_Subject: Aiden likes to run around naked with goats. _

_Hi! It's Ashley and what I wrote is true._

"I'm adding you to my messenger list."

"Knock yourself out. I'm not on it enough to care."

_---_

"Okay, so your first kiss was awful and you tell everyone it was great. Why?" Ashley sipped at her drink that the two had snuck into the kitchen to make. She had already been warned by the blonde teenager that she wasn't allowed guests in the house this late, or this early, and if they were caught the plan was very simple. Run. They were now back in Spencer's bedroom, one on the bed, one on the desk chair - neither wanting to go to sleep, despite the early hours.

"Because he was THE guy. You know? The guy that every girl wants to date and every guy wanted to be. The most popular, the most handsome, the richest guy you would ever meet and I got him. I couldn't exactly say he was trying to choke me with his tongue while his hands groped me under my jeans, could I?" Spencer shuddered at the memory. Too much tongue and much too eager to be classed as a first kiss, he scared her off kissing guys for about a year.

"No, I suppose. My first kiss was nice, well both first kisses."

"Both?"

"With a guy and with a girl." Spencer almost choked on her hot chocolate and Ashley couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry."

"No - I just assumed - Well, I know you're..." She paused and looked into the cup before looking up at Ashley. "So, they were both good?"

"Of course they were. I was present." The two girls smiled slightly, Ashley didn't recount her tales of her first kisses and Spencer didn't push. It was obvious that conversation was long over and the two sat in relative silence, Ashley swinging her feet off the side of the bed and Spencer spinning on her chair.

"Ashley, can I ask you something? Even if it sounds offensive I swear it isn't." The brunette glanced at the blonde and indicated with a small nod for her to continue. "Why haven't you been in a proper relationship? Aiden worries, you know that?" The smaller girl didn't answer. Seconds passed and then a minute and then several and Spencer began to wonder if the fiery brunette was angry at the question. Undoubtedly, Spencer did not want to be on the receiving end of an Ashley laced blow. She had heard they were painful.

"I guess I'm too young to care about committing to someone." The words startled the blonde, not only because they were unexpected in the silence but because Ashley's voice had adopted a different tone to it.

"But, it dosen't have to be serious."

"Unlike you and Aiden?" The brunette shot up from the bed and sat on the end. Spencer sensed this was some sort of bad topic for the LA born girl. Aiden had recounted a few stories of Ashley's past, but seemed more interested in making out with Spencer than telling stories of his friend.

"No - I just..."

"What I do now isn't serious. So, I do not see the big deal that everyone makes out of it." She was stood up now and because of the little time Spencer spent with Ashley, she had no idea how to calm her down.

"Well, it is your life. Right?" Ashley was still walking around the room, collecting her things and muttering something that Spencer couldn't make out.

"Exactly. I'm not apologizing for liking sex or being good at it. I do what I do because I like it, because it's what I know I'm good at and I don't see the huge deal in the way I live my life." Spencer watched still, her mouth open in a slight daze as she saw how quickly Ashley could take something the wrong way, twist the words and become a completely different person.

"You don't have to."

"I'm not going to. And I do not have to justify my behavior to some Ohio Barbie who thinks she is all that."

"Whoa. What the hell is your problem? I was merely asking a question. I told you I didn't mean it in an offensive way - Calm down, there's no need to go around running your mouth." She kept her voice down to a whisper, remembering her parents were still asleep and she didn't want to deal with them.

"Whatever. I'm going home." With no more parting words the brunette had left and a few moments later Spencer heard the front door shut. She sighed to herself and meandered downstairs, locking the door and turning to lean back on it.

---

Aiden bounced the ball once, then twice, lifted it and threw it towards the basket. He watched it circle the rim for a second before dropping through the hoop and bouncing off of the ground. Satisfied he had practiced enough he walked towards the ball, bending down to pick it up. It was then he heard the distinctive noise of heels walking towards him. Spinning around quickly he caught sight of Ashley, her face was serene enough but her posture told the boy different. He had known Ashley long enough to learn her little habits, like the way she would clench and unclench her fists when she was frustrated or bite her lip when she was struggling with something. Right now she had her gaze set hard on him, and he figured from that a storm was brewing behind those brown, glowing eyes. One that was likely to explode when Ashley was in reaching distance of him, so in respect for his health he took a step back.

"Hey Ash." He kept it casual, not wanting to enrage the girl any further because he knew full well that to be in the way of Ashley's wrath meant anything but a good time.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me that you're leaving for some basketball scholarship at the end of the month?" She stopped a few yards from Aiden and he swallowed hard.

He had gotten the call, yesterday, when he was at home ill. A coach from a respected institution had called him and a few other guys from other schools to talk about placements for a course there and he had accepted readily. He was unsure of what he actually wanted to do, he knew he wanted a future in sports and he knew the course he wanted to study; a scholarship at Berkeley on his papers wouldn't hurt. He had been told he would be leaving for some trials, tests and interviews at the end of the month for two weeks but had yet to tell his best friend.

His parents knew, his siblings knew, his aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents knew. Hell, even his team, cheerleaders and girlfriend knew, as of that morning. Ashley didn't. Because he knew that leaving Ashley for a few weeks, for the opportunity to leave her for a new life would upset her. Even if she didn't show it.

"Ashley, let's not talk about this here." He looked around the empty gym. Everyone else was outside, having lunch, talking to friends - but he wanted the chance to work on his game and think about how he was going to tell Ashley. It wasn't that she wasn't going to be happy for him, she would, but it was the prospect he would have to leave LA.

Although they were the same age, Ashley had been held back a year because of poor grades and attendance - leaving Aiden to get ready for college on his own while Ashley had to wait out another year. They both knew he would be leaving but Ashley had her mind set that he would attend somewhere close by.

"Talk about what? Aiden the whole damn school knows. You were the only one to be chosen from here, even that Carlin dude didn't get this opportunity and I have to hear this news from some geeky little brat in the library. How is that fair? I'm supposed to be the one you come to first."

"I know. I know Ash and I'm sorry. I should have at least - Wait, you were in the library?" The look he was being given spoke volumes. This wasn't the time to be joking around. His sneakers squeaked on the polished floor as he walked to the bench against the wall and waited patiently for Ashley to come to him, he couldn't explain unless she wanted him to. It would be useless talking until Ashley was listening and the only sign of that is if she sat next to him. Years of working on that trick paid off and the girl took place next to her friend.

"Why couldn't you tell me, Aid?" He looked at her and licked his lips. This was Ashley when she was vulnerable, she talked quiet and her eyes showed the hurt she was feeling deep inside. He knew it would have hurt her to know she was the last person to be told, by someone else no less, but Aiden hadn't found the right time.

"I don't know." He rubbed his hands together. "I know I should have come to you first, but I guess I freaked out."

"Why?"

"Maybe -" He sighed and put his hand on Ashley's leg, making her look at him and causing him to wince at the confusion in her eyes. "If I get into this university, Ash, I'm leaving LA and I guess I didn't want to be the one to tell you that." She just nodded.

"Yeah."

"But, hey listen - Even if I do get in you're still stuck with me over the holidays and everything. And think about it this way what -"

"I don't want you to go." She interjected and bit her lip. "I mean, I want what is best for you obviously but I don't want to lose my best friend."

"I can't turn this away, Ashley. It's a great opportunity for me." He spoke slowly, hoping she would understand that this was a big deal for him, that opportunities didn't come along like this very often and not everybody had the chance. He wanted to grab onto it like no tomorrow and see where it would lead him.

"I know. I just - I'll miss you." She went quiet again and Aiden was lost on what to do. This was different to the time he had dropped her Manolo Blahnik's into the swimming pool or the time he had accidentally forgot to feed her fish when she went to Europe, because both of those times he knew how to calm her down. But Ashley was strangely quiet, she wasn't screaming at him and calling him useless - this time she was hurt.

"I might not even get in." He tried to lighten her mood but it wasn't working.

"They better accept you. You're amazingly talented, Aiden."

"Thanks, Ash." The girl tapped her feet nervously on the floor and finally looked up when the doors opened and the cheerleaders came in, ready to warm up for that nights small game. "Are you coming tonight?" He didn't need to ask, he knew she wouldn't.

"I might." She stood up leaving a shocked Aiden. The brunette never attended his games; she always stated she didn't want to see a group of men running around in shorts all fighting over a ball. "I'll call you later, or something." She walked away and Aiden felt his stomach drop, he knew she was going to take the fact that he could be leaving hard. Ashley didn't take well to losing people in her life but he couldn't throw this chance away. He stood up when he saw Madison approach his friend, ready to jump in and defend her but Ashley said something quietly to Madison and the cheerleader backed off quickly.

He knew what she had said. He was the only outsider of the feud that knew the secret between the two girls and the only one that knew the damage it could cause. Not too many people but to the social structure of the school, they all had their places and they accepted it. Throwing it all off kilter would shift people's positions around. He rolled his eyes at the very thought.

That was High School and it's ridiculous dramas, status and hard-faces seemed to run everything while you were there. To him it was pathetic, a stupid excuse made up by the rich people to keep themselves above everybody else.

"Aiden!" He glanced across the room and smiled as he saw Spencer approach him and wrapped his arms around her petite frame. "I've had a great idea. We need to go out and celebrate your good news so how about we go out tonight? After the game. You can invite all your friends." She gave him a tender kiss on the jaw and he nodded.

"I can't stay out too late though. It's a school night."

"I know. I just want to show you off." He chuckled at the very idea of being shown off but thanked her with a quick kiss, knowing if they deepened it or made it last too long the cheerleaders would make up some stupid song about it.

"Okay. I'm glad you'd want to show me off." He smiled at her and his eye caught Ashley off to the side. He looked at her and she shook her head, he sighed and knew then that something was off with his favourite brunette. Spencer seemed to have caught where he was looking and poked his chest gently.

"Invite Ashley tonight."

"Maybe. Now go cheer your little butt off, I'll pick you up after school. Okay?" She nodded and they kissed again. He left and jogged up to Ashley, who had already left the gym and was making tracks to her car. "Wanna come out tonight?"

"To celebrate you could be leaving? No thanks."

"Ashley." He pleaded for his friend to stop but when her mind was made up it was set in stone. The girl stopped and turned around.

"By the way. Congratulations." She gave him a bittersweet half smile and turned back to her destination. Aiden ran a hand through his hair and sighed; something else was bothering her.


	6. Not Like The First Time

**Not too much Spashley in this chapter, but def. in the next one. This is just to clear up a little of Ashley's past and to push Spencer's life a little forward. **

**Chapter 6: Not Like The First Time.**

Ashley walked up through the bleachers until she found a half-decent spot. The game was ten, or so, minutes from ending and the only reason she had turned up was because she had felt bad about how she had left Aiden. Sure, anyone else and she would have flipped them the middle finger and continued walking away but Aiden was her rock.

Without her rock she was liable to mess up and fall, she needed to show him she was there. They lent on one another, depended on one another and supported one another. Basketball was Aiden's passion and music was Ashley's, if the dark-haired guy could pass up a driving lesson so he could watch her sing at a club, she could forfeit a night of television to watch him play his game.

She had absolutely no idea what was going on. Looking at the board she was that the _'cobras' _were leading but not by much, so she figured this was a crucial part of the game. She scanned the room, there were several familiar faces, some she liked and some she didn't. Her eyes landed on one particular person, who just happened to be looking at her and she sent a smile the girl's way. It was returned and the respective girls continued to half-watch the game, occasionally looking back at one another now and again.

A whistle blew and Ashley got ready to get up, and maybe go over to the other girl, only to be stopped when she saw ten or twelve girls running onto the sidelines. Pom-poms and all. She suppressed an eye roll and waited for the brunette on the other side of the bleachers to look at her again, when she did Ashley sent another smile and the girl stood up.

Proud of herself, Ashley waited until she had her company and watched as the cheerleaders did their thing. Her eyes locked onto Aiden's blonde and she quirked an eyebrow at how flexible the girl was. Spencer looked up, caught Ashley's eyes and looked away quickly; working on her steps and high kicks.

"Do my eyes deceive me or is Ashley Davies at an actual school basketball game?" Ashley didn't have to look up to know who it was and waited for the girl in the short skirt to sit down.

"No, I'm actually here. Dying a little on the inside with boredom, but here nonetheless." She finally looked at the teenager beside her. She had the same wavy, light brown hair and grey eyes she had when they had dated over one year ago.

Taylor James was Ashley's first offical girlfriend from the past. The one she would never forget, afterall the girl was the ying to her yang. Ashley never knew why the two were so compatible but there was an undeniable chemistry between the two that neither hid nor denied and worked with it when fate threw it their way. For just over ten months the two were _the _couple between friends, Taylor managed to calm Ashley down from fights and Ashley taught Taylor how to stand up for herself around the closed-minded bigots that ran the school.

People seemed to accept Taylor but never Ashley and in their last month together, the two grew apart and finally separated. There was no huge breakup, it just happened and neither talked about it. Ashley because she didn't want to have to nurse her broken heart with words and Taylor because she focused back on school work.

The girl simply vanished from Ashley's life two months later, some rumors had it that she had been transferred to another school, when her dad's second marriage collapsed, because she didn't want to live with either of her parents and others assumed it was something to do with Ashley. Either way, today was the first time she had seen the brunette in a long while.

"What are you doing here then? Are you dating someone on the cheerleading squad?" Ashley shook her head, eyes following Spencer off of the court before finding Aiden on the court.

"No. I thought I'd support Aiden for once, you know." Her words went unsatisfied as Aiden easily sunk the ball in the basket, and while everyone roared around them and applauded him she stayed silent. Winking at him when he glanced into the now seated crowd and nodding quickly when he shot her a smile.

"Yeah, that's nice of you." Ashley had missed that New York accent, more than she cared to admit. "What are you up to these days? Is the elusive Ms. Davies still running free or has someone managed to finally ground you?" She didn't have to hide her smile; Taylor always managed to get one out of her with her soft voice and softer eyes.

"Nope, I'm as free as a bird Ms. James. How about you?" She turned back to the girl and awaited her response. There had been a time she would have openly admitted she was _in _love with Taylor and though she was over her she still admired her natural beauty. There would always be something there between them, neither would say otherwise, but time had shown they were just too different to be together. Opposites attracted, of course, but Ashley pinned their breakup up on being too young and loving every minute of something care-free to be anything more than _the first girlfriend. _

"Me? I'm still single. I guess I'll wait until that big spark hits me before I do the relationship thing again." Ashley just nodded and found herself smiling when her eyes set back on Spencer, who was sat with the cheerleaders. Something about the way the blonde threw her head back to laugh caused the reaction within her. Of course Spencer was good looking, the blind could see that, but she had an air about her that intrigued Ashley. Instead of looking at the girls on the bench below she turned her attention to the girl next to her.

"Are you going to the party, thing, tonight?" She noticed how, when Taylor smiled, her freckles became more prominent.

"For Aiden? Yeah, he invited me and my brother before the game started."

"Your brother is here? God, I haven't seen him since he moved in with your mom."

Ashley remembered the day, the two were only just getting to know one another but she stood by Taylor throughout. Her parents divorce had finally come through and their mother Kathleen was moving across town with the children. Taylor had never had a perfect relationship with her mom, though accepting of her sexuality the woman had changed around her daughter and a year prior when Taylor had found herself pregnant, in a last ditch attempt to prove to herself she wasn't gay, her mother had thrown her out. She aborted the baby and in that time found Ashley as more than her lab partner.

"Yeah. My mom got married a few months ago; it's weird having a brother with a different surname. I don't know why he changed it, but that's his choice. Matthew Collier, it really dosen't suit him." The two girls looked over to the brother in question, who was happily flirting with a girl from Ashley's Careers class.

"No." Ashley replied distantly. "So, is it your school my school is beating?" The girl nodded and Ashley tapped her foot against the bench in front of her. Her little tune managed to earn her a glare from the girl in front. "What?"

"Ashley." Taylor tapped the girl's leg and Ashley instantly put her feet down, cocking her head at the girl in front until she turned back around. "I thought you would have grown out of your attitude problem by now." The smile was evident in the girls' voice. Ashley was about to reply but the buzzer went off to signal the end of the game, the Cobras had beaten the Lions 15-9.

"I don't have an attitude problem, I just don't like people." She bit her lip as Taylor laughed lightly and shook her head, her mannerisms were still the same. They stayed silent for a moment, while the teams went to their respective locker rooms. "So, you're going to the club tonight?" Neither girl made an attempt to move when everyone else did, content with each others company and happy to watch as the others left.

"Will you be there?"

"Of course I will. Why, would my being there influence your decision?" Too absorbed in her conversation Ashley didn't notice Aiden walk up to them, Spencer following dutifully behind. Taylor stood up, the familiar smirk on her lips that would break any type of heart.

"Maybe. Would my wanting you there make you come?" A cough signaled the end of that conversation, that both girls could have taken the wrong way. Ashley finally glanced around and saw Aiden, Spencer and a bored looking Matthew stood around them. Taylor got the hint and left the conversation where it was, keeping in mind to pick it up later. "Great game Aiden. I'll see you tonight; we've got to get ready." The two siblings left with a quiet goodbye, leaving Ashley with the couple.

"Ashley, wow is it really you?" Aiden grabbed Ashley's hand and yanked the brunette up. "You're here at an actual basketball game. That's a first." She simply nodded and straightened out her shirt.

"I suppose, it just proves I do actually like you a little." She licked her lips and looked at the doors Taylor had just gone out of, grinning internally at the fact she still had it in her to have the other girl wanting her. It was a given that tonight she would give as good as she got.

"Who was that?" Spencer's voice interrupted her little daydream and she looked quizzically at the girl. She was about to reply when Aiden beat her to the punch.

"Taylor James. Ashley's infamous ex, you know the one? The one that still would like to take Ashley into the bathrooms and show her just exactly how much she has missed her." Aiden chuckled to himself. It was no secret that he had been the one to set the girls up, the one who Ashley had turned to when they had their first fight and the one who knew how deep their relationship was and how hurt Ashley was once it ended.

"Oh. What about that Carly? Or Jennifer?" Ashley merely shrugged and hopped down from the benches.

"I'm not dating them. Anyway that Carly turned out to be bi and has a boyfriend, or something." She walked backwards so she could look at the two as she talked to them. She saw a look cross Spencer's face and couldn't pinpoint what it was. She wanted to say jealousy, she had seen it before and it looked familiar but Spencer would have no reason to be jealous. The thought disappointed Ashley slightly; she liked girls fighting over her.

"Okay." The way Spencer bit her lip caused Ashley to notice how vunerable yet undoubtably good looking the girl was. "Hey Ash, I'm sorry if I offended you the other night."

"Don't worry, Carlin. It's all water under the bridge now." She turned around and pushed the double doors open with both hands, as if she was making some sort of dramatically amazing goodbye. She turned quickly and grinned at the two people who now stood in the doorway, each holding a door.

"I'm still sorry. Let me make it up to you." Ashley pursed her lips and thought for a moment, she could make this interesting or she could make it boring. The look on Aiden's face told her to settle with boring.

"Fine, one drink and one dance and all will be forgiven." Spencer nodded at that and the brunette smirked, spinning on her heel and walking away. "I'll see you tonight, losers."

"You agreed to buy her a drink and to dance with her?" Aiden put his hand on the small of Spencer's back, only to have her shy away from his touch. He looked at her before putting it down to her being tired after the routine she had just performed.

"How hard can it be? I dance a lot and I've just gotten some money from my grandparents." She walked through the doors Aiden held open for her and tried to ignore his not-so-hidden laughter.

"Spence, this is Ashley Davies."

---

Spencer looked around the loud club, trying to find someone else apart from the basketball team. Of course, she enjoyed being around Aiden and this night was all about him, but to be honest if she heard one more tale about how _'this guy managed to shoot a hoop at half the length of the court' _she was going to scream. Her eyes settled on a dark haired girl, she recognised her from earlier, Tammy or Trisha or something. Making her excuses she stood up, kissed Aiden on the cheek and wandered over to the seemingly alone girl.

"Hey." She smiled in a friendly way and lent on the bar, waiting to be served and hoping to stike up conversation with the girl next to her.

"Hey, Spencer right?" The blonde nodded, taken aback lightly that the girl knew her name. Instead of instantly replying she ordered a drink, coke, and sipped at it when it came. "I'm Taylor." The girl laughed genuinley and Spencer blushed, realizing the girl obviously knew that Spencer had forgotten her name.

"Sorry, I was tired earlier." Taylor simply shook her head and waved her hand in a way that told her it didn't matter.

"Are you here with Aiden?"

"Yeah, he's over with his friends on a table somewhere." She giggled at the realization that she had ditched her boyfriend, for, in her eyes, her friends ex girlfriend. "Have you seen Ashley?"

"Yeah, she said she was going to buy me a drink but I can't find her - Wait, nevermind." The girl in question came up beside Taylor and handed her a drink, her now free hand slipping quickly around the girls waist.

"Carlin, imagine seeing you here. If you're at the bar to buy me that drink, I already have one." She held up her glass as if to prove her point.

"No, I was just looking for some company that didn't consist of too much testosterone or basketballs." Her sentence went unheard as Ashley began to whisper something into Taylors ear, causing her to giggle a little and Spencer to feel out of place very quickly. "So, yeah, I'm just going to go." She pointed both thumbs over her shoulder but once again neither girl noticed and as she walked away slowly she saw the two head somewhere, she figured, would be more private.

She made her way back to the table and found herself looking over onto the dancefloor, where she could easily see the dancemoves of one Ms. Davies. She shifted uncomfortably at the erotic moves the brunettes hips were making into her dance partners' and managed to look away and smile at the right time, to one of Aiden's jokes, when Taylor landed a kiss on Ashley's exposed neck.

"Why is Ashley dancing with Taylor like that? I thought they were over." Spencer lent close into Aiden, hoping that somewhere he was worried about the couple. He moved his head and his lips skimmed over Spencers ear as he talked.

"They are, but the two have this attraction. I mean look at them, they're hot." Aiden laughed a little. "Not as hot as you though, baby." Spencer nodded, not really hearing what Aiden said in his last sentence but smiling as he said baby.

"But, she's an ex. You'd think that Ashley wouldn't tread into those types of waters."

"Spence, she's just letting off a little steam. I doubt the two are going to jump into another ten month relationship, they're just having fun." He turned back to his friends and Spencer jumped a little at how loud the guys could laugh when they did it simultaniously. She noticed Ashley and her _special friend_ Taylor were now in a passionate battle of the mouths and only pulled apart for two reasons. Air and to glare at the small-minded guys who were staring at them. She watched as Ashleys hand slowly ran down the girls arm and interlaced their fingers, she whispered something in her ear and seconds later they were both walking towards the bathrooms.

Spencer rolled her eyes. Ashley Davies was definately something else.

---

"You know this means nothing after tonight, right?" Ashley winced slightly as her back hit the cubical door, the handle digging into her back as her ex furiously worked on her neck and her belt at the same time.

"Obviously Ashley, just a bit of fun." The belt was undone and she was working on the button next.

"When did you get so domineering?" She breathed out as her jeans were quickly undone and her hands were pinned above her head, both wrists clamped in Taylors left hand.

"Things change." Ashley grinned and pushed her lips against Taylors; her night was going as planned.

---

"Hey Aiden?" Spencer ran her finger down his arm as they danced. She brought her lips next to his ear so he could hear her and unconciously pushed her hips into his, only realising when she heard his breath hitch.

"Yeah?"

"I wanna go back to your place." Aiden pulled back quickly, trying to hide the grin on his face and only succeeding by talking instead.

"Are you sure?" The two knew that by going to Aiden's tonight it was the only privacy they would get. His parents were out of town with his siblings and the house was his, for whatever he wanted to do. Spencer paused and considered her options. Something had come over her when she had seen Ashley walk off with Taylor to the bathrooms, where they would be doing anything else than getting clean and she wanted to act upon it. Then again she didn't want her first time with Aiden to be because she couldn't quell the strange feeling in her stomach. She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but her boyfriend wanting to show her how he felt.

"Positive." He nodded and took her hand, swiftly taking her out of the club after a few goodbyes and quickly making his way to the waiting car. Ashleys make-up drink and dance would have to wait until tomorrows party, tonight was all about Aiden.

Right?


	7. More to school, than school

**Chapter 7: More to school, than school. **

Why do I even come to this lesson?

Ashley rolled her eyes at the crowd of people in the class. It was the only one she took that she knew nobody in, though it seemed the male capacity of the class knew her. To say Ashley wasn't a bright girl was a lie; she was exceptionally clever but never showed it outside of school. Music, English and History, on occasion, she was naturally good at and although her teachers knew that, and she knew that, she still didn't enjoy the lessons. She was just good at them.

The teacher walked in and Ashley was instantly reminded of why she attended her History lesson on a Wednesday morning. Miss. Haynes, twenty-something graduate from London, had come to American for a different type of living. She had a strong English accent, reminding Ashley of some up-tight spinster but she was nothing of the sort. Her short black hair, petite body and seemingly flawless skin had captured Ashley's attention, for more than five minutes, causing the young girl to enjoy the lessons. Even a tiny bit.

"Okay, settle down class. I'm sorry I'm late, we have a new pupil in our class and I had to clear some things up." Ashley was bored already. "Spencer, please come in. We don't have all day." The brunette looked up and sure enough it was Aiden's Spencer who had been set into this class, she shot a quick smile to the girl and nodded to the seat next to her. The last thing she needed was for her friend's girlfriend to be eaten alive by the guys in this class, most of them fawned over her anyway.

The blonde quickly made her way to the seat next to Ashley and sunk down, trying her hardest to ignore the looks she seemed to be getting. Muttering to herself she opened her textbook, to hopefully the right page and took out her pen.

"What are you doing in this class, Carlin?" Spencer looked at Ashley; a flash of shock went across her face at how brazen the girl was. Not only did she start talking when the class had just begun, but she didn't even try and whisper.

"Too many in the other class. Last in, first out and all that." She kept her voice low but knew immediately that they had been caught. Her thoughts were found right when she looked up and saw the teacher staring pointedly at Ashley, hands on her hips and lips pursed.

"Miss. Davies, do you have something to share with us?" Ashley, who seemed to have lost interest as soon as Spencer had stopped talking, looked up from her work and sent the teacher an almost angelic look.

"Not really."

"Please, you know the rules Ashley. No talking in class." The woman turned around quickly and began scribbling something on the board. "Excluding Miss. Carlin, I expect you have all done your homework I set for you." Ashley frowned and Spencer caught it, the girl had forgotten about it.

"Miss. Haynes, I think I left it in my car."

"Just like you left your essay on the Cold War that I set last month?" Ashley was about to reply when the teacher began walking towards her. "Or, the time you left the questions I set on Martin Luther King in the library?" Ashley chuckled at that one; she went out to collect it and didn't return to the lesson for the next three days. "Or, and please be honest Miss. Davies, did you just not want to do it?"

"My mom ate it?"

"Ashley," The woman sighed and rubbed her temples. She actually liked the girl; she was very clever and had a humor that was untouchable. Ashley was a free spirit, that couldn't be argued with and that was what she liked to see in her students. It just tired her out, especially when it came in form of the student front of her. "I expect you to write this essay in your free period. You have one for an hour, after this lesson, use it wisely and have the work back to me. Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal."

The lesson continued and Ashley grew increasingly bored on the whole issue, she had no idea what the hell the woman was talking about; Nevermind do an essay on a question from a week ago. She rolled her eyes and flicked through her notebook, in a feeble attempt to find whatever it was she was meant to write. A second later she was half-glaring at a folded piece of paper on her desk. If that freak at the back of the class had written her another love poem she was going to shove it somewhere tight. She unfolded it and glanced at the words.

**Have u seen Aiden today? **

She looked at Spencer, back at the piece of paper and then back at Spencer again. Since when did Spencer, of all people, write notes in class? She was a baby badass in hiding. Ashley scribbled down that she hadn't seen Aiden and why was his girlfriend of all people asking. She waited a few moments and wrote down the words the teacher was writing on the board up front, a few moments later the paper plopped back on her desk.

**We got into an argument last night. I want to apologize.**

Ashley quickly wrote her answer _'then phone him - you have his number, right?' _and continued to pretend to act like she knew what she was doing. She smiled at the picture she had made; it was a blazing heart with her name in it and waited for the folded paper to drop on her desk again. Which it did. Aw, Spencer was so predictable.

**He won't ansr my calls. If u see him can u tell him i wanna talk? **

Before Ashley could think of a sarcastic/witty/bitchy reply the lesson bell went and she proceeded to screw the paper up and put her things away into her bag. She lifted it and pulled a face; she hated carrying it around and made a decision to drop it all in her locker. Her next lesson, after her break, was Gym anyway and she had a doctor's note for that.

"Miss. Davies, I expect that report on my desk in one hour."

"No problem." She got out of her seat and wandered to the front of the class where Spencer seemed to be waiting for her. "So, what did you and '_Boy Wonder' _argue about?" They left the classroom and Ashley realised she still had no idea what her report was on.

"Boy wonder?"

"I don't know, it sounded cool. Though, the thought of Aiden in spandex annialates that thought very quickly." She stopped walking and shifted her bag on her shoulder. "Seriously, what's up?"

"I just - Last night, we nearly, well we did..." Ashley stood looking confused and shifted her bag again. Oh yeah, it was definitely being dumped.

"Okay, Aiden might think it's cute if you stutter and stumble. I don't. Do you have this hour free?" Spencer shook her head in the negative. "Now you do. Come on, we'll go for coffee."

"I can't. My mom will kill me if she finds out." She took a few steps back from Ashley, only to be rewarded with a wall behind her and an eye roll from the girl.

"She won't. Just come on, I'll have you back in time for Gym I promise." Ashley narrowed her eyes and began to count off how many lessons she actually shared with Spencer and never noticed her before. Wow, her attention span was rubbish.

"But what if -"

"Ugh, Carlin! Life is full of what ifs. Live for the moment, chase your dream and follow your boyfriend's best friend to the best coffee house in LA." She still faced a doubting Spencer. "I'll buy you your favourite."

"You don't know what my favourite is." Good argument. Ashley had to contend that the girl didn't give up. The warning bell screamed off above their heads and Ashley waited until it settled down.

"That's true, but I'll know what it is if you come now."

"Ashley."

"Oh, come on. Seriously, there's more to school than, ya know,_ school_."

"Fine. But if we get caught I'm blaming it all on you." Ashley merely shrugged and began walking to her car. "Don't you have an essay to do?" She turned her head to the questioning blonde, who had finally caught up to her and shrugged again.

---

"So what? You slept with him. So have ten other girls." Ashley sipped at her latte and ignored the daggers Spencer was sending her. Honesty was the best policy and it was even funnier when it came with a side order of being blunt.

"That's not the point. I just - It was really awkward."

"Like, ha-you-have-a-small-penis awkward? Or, shit-I-don't-want-to-actually-be-here awkward?" Ashley didn't know what compelled her to spend her free period with Spencer. Usually, the girl would go for a drive or have some lunch at home. But there was something about the blonde that intrigued her.

"More like I'm-not-sure-you're-the-one-I-want-to-have-my-first-time-with awkward."

"Oh."

"I know he's your best friend and I - God, I shouldn't be talking like this." Spencer quickly got up and knocked the napkin she was ripping up off of her lap.

"Whoa there, speedy. Sit down." When she didn't Ashley simply tugged her arm and got the girl to sit back on the couch. "Listen, the best person to come to about problems with Aiden is me. I know him better than I know myself, so just let me help. Do you want to be with him?" No reply. "I'm asking as your friend now, not his."

"I thought we weren't friends."

"When did I give you that impression?" Ashley feigned shock.

"That time when you said -"

"Whatever. You're my friend. Now answer my question, girl." Ashley picked up her over-priced coffee again and let the taste linger in her mouth after she sipped at the froth.

"I think I do." Progress! She liked progress.

"Then what's the problem?" Ashley didn't do high-school drama very well. She was the type that if she saw something she liked she went for it and didn't hang around, she was the type to dump somebody sooner rather than later to save hassle and she didn't wait around for anyone.

"I don't know." The Ohio native slumped back into the couch and covered her face with her hands. "Have you and Aiden ever been attracted to the same girl?" Ashley glanced at the girl and then back at her cup. Wow, Spencer wasn't very good at keeping a conversation on track. Either that or Aiden fancied some other girl and Spencer was - Okay, nevermind that line of thought. Ashley shook her head.

"Yeah, a few times. We both have pretty damn good taste." She smiled as the other girl laughed a little.

"Have you ever dated the same girl?"

"Once." Spencer sat up and looked at the brunette.

"What happened?"

"I almost lost him. I won't make that mistake again, especially now he seems to have a landed a perfectly straight girl for a change." Spencer looked lost for a moment and didn't reply for several seconds before she nodded her head firmly.

"Yeah. We should get back." The two girls finished their drinks and made their way out of the coffee-shop, both contemplating their new found friendship.

---

It was the end of school and Ashley had made it through the day avoiding her history teacher, getting Spencer and Aiden to make up and deciding on how she was going to get to Kyla's party tonight. She stopped suddenly when she saw a girl leaning against her car, arms folded and a smug smile on her face.

"I think you have the wrong place, the strip-club is further down the road." Her biting words caused Spencer, who was walking behind her, and a few other students to stop and look up at the confrontation. Aiden came up beside Spencer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, their little disagreement on Spencer leaving right after the two had made love was settled and they were back into their loving state. The blonde was about to ask her boyfriend what was going on, because according to the smile on his face he knew _exactly _what was going down, but she was interrupted by the stranger.

"Funny, Ashley, real funny. But, I actually must have mistaken this place for a strip-club when I saw _you _walking out of it."

"Jealous by any chance?"

"Of you?" The girl laughed loudly. "I'd rather kiss Madison Duarte than claim to be like you." That earned the shorter girl a few laughs.

"If you want to pass that rash around you can kiss whoever you want."

Ashley took a step closer and Spencer poked Aiden, hoping he would step in. Ashley was his best friend after all and all he could do was stand there, grinning. He simply batted her hand away and continued to watch them.

"Say's the lesbian."

"I'm a lesbian?" Ashley faked a look that was a mix of shock and distress. "I just thought I liked fucking your friends."

"Slut."

"Skank."

"Whore."

The two were face to face now and Spencer wasn't sure if she could watch or not. She'd seen Ashley in an argument and that wasn't a nice sight. Add bloodshed on top of that?

"Kyla!"

"Ashley!"

"I've missed you." The last line was simultaneously driven out of both girls mouths and they leapt forward and wrapped one another in a hug. While the rest of the crowd seemed disappointed that Ashley _would be queen of the school if it wasn't for Madison _Davies didn't knock out the girl leaning on her beloved car, Aiden dragged Spencer to the clinging girls. As the rest of the students dispersed Spencer looked around a little dazed, sure she was a little new to Ashley and Aiden but seriously. Who was this girl?

"Aiden, I'm pretty sure you already know my cousin Kyla." The two waved at one another and Ashley moved her body so the younger girl could see Spencer. "This is his new girlfriend."

"I'm Spencer." She held out her hand and once Kyla was out of her cousin's grasp, she shook it.

"Hey, so are you coming to the party tonight too?" Spencer simply nodded and the girl beamed. "Awesome, it's going to be huge. Well, as huge as I can get it before the cops show up."

"Like last time?" Ashley butted in, a shit-eating grin on her face.

"That was your fault." Kyla pointed an accusing finger and Aiden laughed, knowing full well it was Ashley's doing that the cops were called.

"It was not!"

"It so was." She turned to Spencer and grabbed her hands. "She got completely drunk okay?" Spencer nodded.

"Not completely!" Ashley tried to defend her actions.

"You were totally drunk." Kyla glared at her cousin for interrupting before turning back to the blonde. "She couldn't even say her name. So anyway she decides to make some brownies, because when Ashley wants something; she gets it."

"And she _really _wanted these brownies. With little chocolate drops on them." Aiden made sure he humiliated Ashley that little bit more.

"So, off she pops to the kitchen and throws a load of stuff together." Kyla chuckled lightly and Aiden had a rather large smile on his face. "Unfortunately for her, the ingredients she put in were courtesy of our local marijuana dealer who had crashed our party."

"Really? Ash, you made those types of brownies?" Before Ashley could even think about answering the question Spencer posed, Aiden jumped in.

"No, she crucified them. They were burnt so bad even the guys who were high wouldn't look at them. But, because of the smoke they made the detectors go off and the neighbours thought there was a fire. So, the police and fire department were called." Aiden started laughing at the frown on Ashley's face and let Kyla take over.

"And Ashley was still mourning over not getting her brownies. So, like the silly cow she is - she stayed there as the police came running in, while everyone else went running off."

"I'm not a cow!" She slapped Kyla gently on the shoulder and continued pouting as she turned to Spencer, who looked highly amused. "I'm not!"

"Oh, but you are. Because since she was there they arrested her for underage drinking, being in possession of marijuana and - What was it that they said?" She tapped her foot, trying to remember what she had bailed her cousin out for.

"Neglectful behavior for her own safety and those around her." Aiden piped up helpfully, earning himself a slap on the chest but continued laughing anyway at Ashley's expression. "She was locked up until the following morning and spent the entire night singing some Irish drinking song and shouting for her brownies. The police couldn't wait to get rid of her, nevermind press any types of charges." Spencer laughed lightly and watched as the mortified girl ran a hand over her face, trying to conceal the red tint to her face.

"Oh, my God Ashley. I knew you were bad but honestly; I'm starting to worry about the party tonight."

"Ugh, don't worry I'm not drinking. I have to drive there and back." Ashley threw her bag into the open roof of her car and contemplated jumping the door into her seat. She thought back to the last time she did that and quickly got rid of that idea.

"Stay at mine for the night." Kyla responded when Ashley turned back around.

"What if Spencer or Aiden need a ride home?" She looked at the two who simply shrugged.

"They can stay too. Come on Ash, it's been _forever _since you slept at my house. Besides, I'd like to get to know Aiden's girlfriend - He talks a lot about you on AOL or whatever it is. Did you know that?" Kyla swung her arm around the blonde's shoulders.

"No, I didn't and I'd have to ask my mom if I could stay." She smiled at the girl next to her but knew her mothers answer would be yes, since it wasn't a school night and she hoped she could get some new friends.

"No problem. See you tonight, yeah?" Her reply was a resounding yes. Without asking she opened Ashley's car and got in, instantly cutting herself off from Aiden and Spencer.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Getting a lift to yours. You have nicer clothes and I want to borrow some." Spencer watched amused as the cousins bickered harmlessly over clothes, music and whatever else. She walked away with Aiden, knowing that by now her brother will have gotten out of his measly detention and tried to find him.

"Looking forward to tonight, babe?" She nodded and skimmed the yard for her brother, rolling her eyes when she found him walking out with Madison. "You know I won't be able to stop at Kyla's. My mom will freak." She nodded again and looked at him.

"It dosen't matter. I'll probably not stay over anyway."

"Spencer, come on sis!" Glen all but yelled across the yard.

"I'll see you tonight. You're picking me up, right?" He nodded and she kissed his cheek. "I'll see you then." She smiled at him once more and walked over to her brother, who was too busy being draped over to notice she was there. By the time Glen and Madison had ripped apart, Spencer's thoughts had drifted.

She was looking forward to tonight. With Ashley there she knew it would be fun and Kyla seemed alright, too, even if she was a little over the top. She hopped into the car and frowned at her next thought; _she was more excited about seeing Ashley and Kyla than she was Aiden. _


	8. Davies Party

It was hotter in the house than Spencer had imagined it would be and quickly thanked whatever force had told her to keep her jacket at home. Her blue eyes scanned the room, bodies moved with one another, people openly flirted and groped one another on couches and the stench of alcohol, sweat and other bodily fluids hung in the air.

This was a Davies' party.

Aiden, who still hadn't let go of her, seemed right at home and Spencer found him nodding, greeting and high-fiving people she had never met in her life. She had realised that, although she wasn't as new to LA as she once was, she was still a country girl at heart – and this house party was just a little too cramped for her liking. It was beyond her, how a house with more bedrooms than her street, could have one room that only served a purpose to hold all these people. She must have thought out loud because she suddenly felt Aidens' breath on her ear as he spoke.

"Kyla doesn't let people into the master bedrooms, only the guest. Plus, she generally asks people to stay on the ground level which they do – it's big enough." Which was very true, Spencer noted. The whole ground floor was bigger than her house put together, and then some.

The room they were in now, she assumed, was the living room. Couches, tables and rugs were all shoved to one side while people congregated in the middle. Aiden had told her on the way here not to expect anything electrical, apart from speakers and maybe a DJ, not after a laptop, stereo and TV were broken at the last party.

Looking around Spencer tried to find someone else she knew. She recognised a few cheerleaders, football players and friends from school but quickly frowned when she saw that Madison wasn't there, or her brother. Yet, she swore she saw his car outside – unless the two had gone somewhere more private. She tipped her head and brushed her lips against the side of Aidens' ear, before she could say anything two excited people came up beside them. She pulled away to find the grinning face of one Ashley Davies and Kyla – whatever her last name was.

"You made it." Ashley had a certain surprised tone to her voice.

"Yeah, I never turn down an invite to the infamous Kyla Woods residence." Aiden thanked Ashley as she handed him a red cup, the same gesture was given to Spencer who gladly took it. Her breath hitched slightly at the small contact her fingers made with Ashley's but shrugged it off.

"Hey, the other cheerleaders are here but I don't see Madison anywhere. Have you seen her?" If the music had stopped and the people ceased to talk, silence would have overtaken the group. Spencer saw Ashley stiffen and Aiden quickly took a long drink of whatever Ashley had served them.

"No, she refuses to come anymore after the last party." Kyla spoke up and she found herself being the target of Ashley's death glare. Spencer knew vaguely of the last party, she had also been invited but she had only been at the school a couple of weeks and was struggling to catch up with her classes while trying to get onto the cheerleading squad.

"What happened at the last party?" She was confused to say the least and she looked between the three people. Out of them Ashley and Aiden were the most reluctant to talk about it, causing Spencer to assume that Kyla had a viewpoint rather than first hand knowledge.

"What stays in the past, stays in the past Carlin." Ashley voice had taken on another subtle edge that Spencer couldn't place, nor did she want to. Ashley's harsh side had tried to raise its head once in her presence and Spencer did not want to take that risk again.

"Hey, Ashley there's a girl near the drinks table who has been looking at you all night. How about you go and work that charm I know you have?" Kyla placed a hand on her cousin's shoulder and Spencer was internally amazed at how quickly the girl relaxed under the touch.

"Well, I am hot." She smirked at them and quickly sauntered off, in search of fresh meat.

"Did I say something to upset her?" Spencer was panicked now; she didn't want to get on the bad side of Ashley. Mainly; because she wanted Aiden to be happy and have the two of them get on, but also because she actually liked the girl. She liked her confidence and energy; she liked how she openly cared for both Aiden and Kyla and made a show of liking them. The hug she gave Kyla on first appearance and attendance at Aidens basketball game showed that.

"What? Oh God no, of course not, babe. Like Ash said, the past should just stay in the past." Aiden grabbed her hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

"Yeah, don't worry about Ashley." Kyla gave her a smile and Spencer quickly found herself in idle conversation with her. While Aiden drifted off to talk about hoops and balls to some other jocks, Spencer found herself forming a friendship with the cousin of Ashley.

She noticed the family traits within the two girls. They both used their hands to express something, especially when they were trying to get a point across and they both had a certain type of smile. They stayed in conversation, drifting from music to films to boys to finally hers and Ashley's past and before Spencer knew it she had finished four red cups and was giggling away with Kyla, like they were old friends.

"So, Aiden comes running across Ashley's backyard completely naked. Ashley is just stood there with a priceless expression on her face, like she couldn't believe what had just happened." She chuckled a little more and waved her hand around, fanning occasionally to cool herself off.

"Do I want to know?"

"It's nothing special, at the time it was funny though." Kyla sipped at her drink, pulled a face and continued her story. "We chased Aiden down and asked him what had happened. It turned out; he was in the pools shower when a big ass spider dropped down right in front of him from nowhere."

The girl cracked up again and fell back against the cushions of the couch.

"I'm not lying it was a spider Spencer! Can you imagine? Our very own Little Aiden Dennison running and screaming bloody murder through the backyard naked, because of a teeny tiny spider."

The two girls started laughing again, grasping one another's arms and trying to calm down before Aiden saw. They took a few deep breaths and regained composure, before laughing again when Aiden sent them a half-wave from the other side of the room.

"Aw, how cute – I'm going to have to remind him of that." Kyla quickly grabbed her arm and sent her a serious look.

"No, you can't he might get upset." She swayed a little and Spencer finally noticed how much the girl must have drunk. "It's like me telling you what happened with Ashley a few months ago. She'd be mortified that I even know."

Spencer was intrigued, she couldn't deny that and it would be a sin to lie anyway. She just wanted to know more about Ashley; delve a little into her past and work out the puzzle that was the Davies girl. Before she could even question her about her cousin, the girl in question came swaying up to them. A wide smile on her face a bottle of water in her hands, noticing the expression on Spencer's face she held up the water and explained.

"I'm driving tonight, you see. I can't very well drink now can I?" Spencer shook her head and, surprisingly, took the outstretched hand that was offered to her. She went to apologise to Kyla, but when she turned to look at her; the small girl had disappeared.

"She was there a second ago, I swear she was." The blonde muttered to herself.

"I know, you have been sat there like school girls for at least an hour. I've made out with two girls and turned down a senior in that time. And I have yet to get my dance, the one you promised me." Spencer's breath caught, for the second time in Ashley's presence that night and she turned to face the brunette square in the face. Whiskey eyes gazed at her and an amused smirk adorned that glossed over mouth, and for the first time ever Spencer had a sudden urge to lean forward.

"Lead the way then, Ms. Davies."

---

Dancing with Aiden was nice, he kept his hands in all the right places and he would lean in at all the right times to claim victory over her lips. He would slow dance perfectly, after years of dancing with Ashley at some lessons they attended for school, he would know exactly when to pull her closer and had a sense on when she wanted distance. In respect, he was a perfect dance partner.

Ashley, on the other hand, was something else entirely. Whereas Aiden knew what to do, it seemed to come to Ashley a lot more naturally. Like, in a way, she was a part of the music and she melded herself into the rhythmic beats and seductive bass lines.

The two had yet to move closer to one another and it came as a pleasant shock when, as the song changed, Ashley dragged Spencer closer by her hips and slipped one leg between hers.

"You danced with me so I might as well return the favour, Carlin." Her husky voice sent a shiver throughout Spencer's frame, sending her into a tail-spin of confusion, arousal and need for some sort of contact.

Ashley expertly moved her hips in time with Spencer, the music and her own silent dance routine. Spencer moved with her, almost on instinct, rolling their hips together and drawing Ashley even closer by wrapping her arms around her neck.

While Aiden would strictly keep his hands on her sides, Ashley pushed boundaries and skimmed them over her back, her ribs and settled them on Spencer's hips, their seemingly favourite place. They grinded down, Spencer's denim clad thighs settling between Ashley's soft flesh, exposed by the short white skirt and skin, from their sweat ridden arms, clung to one another.

"It's okay." Ashley's whisper was faint in the background, behind the beat of the music, the chatter of people and the thumping of her heart. "You're pretty fucking hot when you dance, you know."

In a twisting motion, Spencer found herself facing a mass of people, unaware of her and Ashley dancing, and her back was hard up against Ashley's chest. The brunette once more melded their bodies as one and painfully slowly, pushed their hips into a new type of rhythm – no longer in time with the song, but with their own plain desires.

And as the blonde girl reached behind her, pulling Ashley closer, shivering at the hot breath that swept over her neck, Spencer realised she had never felt more alive than she had dancing with Ashley right there, in Kyla's living room.

The song abruptly ended and Ashley let go, distancing herself away from Spencer and taking in large gulps of air. A word wasn't spoken, not once when Spencer raised a questioning eyebrow at the sudden distance and not when Ashley gave her a weak smile and disappeared into the throng of people. Spencer watched, slightly dumbfounded, as the brunette vanished from view. Blindly, she made her way outside and closed her eyes at the sudden rush of cold air.

What she had felt in there, in the strong arms of Ashley, she had never experienced before. Not with Aiden, or Jake or her very last boyfriend before leaving Ohio, Richard. The guy that she had swore was her first true love, before she met Aiden and gave herself fully to the basketball star. In a strange way, she wished she was back in Ohio and giving herself to him, rather than Aiden, a thought she wished would go away.

She closed her eyes and gripped onto the railing, waiting a few moments before opening her eyes once more to her surroundings. The garden was more of a small field, oak trees covered the top half of it and a large grass area led down to what she assumed to be a pond or something similar. She could see the glistening of water from here, reflecting the moonlight. There was another fence beyond that, but it was too dark to make anything out from here what that led onto. She wondered, briefly, if they had a swimming pool; due to an overheard conversation about skinny dipping off of a diving board.

"I'm sorry if I freaked you out in there." Ashley soft voice made her turn around. Spencer scanned the girl; the night light accentuated her natural features. She was pretty; Spencer could admit that without the siren in her head screaming 'gay', because anyone could see the girl was good looking. She was wearing a low dipping black top, which also showed off a fraction of her naval. Her outfit was completed by a short skirt, unnecessary belt and high heels.

"Freaked me out? Ashley, you didn't freak me out. We were just dancing." But she had never danced like that with her friends back in Ohio and she had never felt like that in her life.

"I know but I danced with you like I would dance with, say Taylor. I practically threw myself at you, and called you hot."

"Well you didn't scare me off, I'm still here, especially since you were telling the truth." It was there Spencer swallowed hard, wodering where all this was coming from. Ashley smiled and walked toward her, holding her hand out which Spencer took quickly.

"Well that's good because I actually like you, Carlin." She licked her lips and moved backwards a few steps, pulling Spencer along gently.

"My name is Spencer."

"I know that, Spencer." With her heart on standby and her stomach jumping at hearing her name said in such a way, the blonde let herself be led back into the party. "But, I think I'll save your first name for a special moment, or something."

She would figure out later what the hell was going on with her, right now was about having fun. Whether that was with Aiden, or Kyla or Ashley – she didn't care. She could blame the alcohol for whatever came out of her mouth, or the way her body moved, but she just wanted to live this moment as it was.


	9. Her Name Was

She was hot, the room was crowded and Ashley frowned into her luke-warm beer. She was having a good time earlier but the night was wearing on and even though people were leaving, hangers on remained; keeping the party going.

Sighing loudly she closed her eyes, trying to focus on one noise and block out the noises. More than anything she was trying to block out the noise of the drunken guy beside her, who was using some corny chat up line and trailing his finger over her knee. Yes, she realised she looked hot but did nobody get the memo she wasn't into guys like that?

"Sorry, were you saying something?" Ashley looked at the guy and sent him a little smile, watching him stare at her blankly before breaking into a goofy grin.

"Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to get some coffee or we can just, you know, hang out or go for dinner one day." Aw, he was cute and stuttering. But he was also full of testosterone and swaying slightly from side to side, which definitely didn't turn the brunette on.

"I don't think so, sorry."

"Why? I'll make it worth your while." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively but only managed to make Ashley stand up and move away from him.

"You couldn't handle me little man." She patted his head and wandered off into the crowd, which was getting smaller finally, trying to find some familiar face.

"Ashley!" She was assaulted from the side and stumbled a few steps before regaining her balance and staring at a very drunk, very topless, Aiden.

"Hi?" Sure, she had seen him drunk before, hell she had seen him topless before, but she still looked at him like he had lost it completely. "Where's your shirt?"

"Spencer stole it." He pouted and wrapped a bare arm around her shoulders, yanking her closer.

"Why did she do that?" Okay, she'd admit it. Drunken Aiden amused her endlessly, something she saw a lot due to the fact that Aiden couldn't exactly hold his drink.

"Because she said…" He held his finger up in front of her face and it took all Ashley had not to go cross-eyed and watch the wiggling finger. "She said she wouldn't get topless unless I did."

"Carlin's topless?"

"Well she has a bra on." He chuckled lightly. "It's not like you can see her boobs, fully." He walked them towards a spin the bottle game and Ashley, indeed, saw that Spencer was topless. The blonde was laughing as some guy and another girl were going all out in the middle of the floor.

"Right, why did you bring me over here?" She instantly regretted talking when several pairs of eyes looked her way. The usual gaggle of people sat around a discarded Corona bottle; each person knowing full well that Ashley would do _anything _that a person asked during the game.

"Ashley, come play!" The black haired guy, who was currently cradling his Smirnoff gently, yelled at her before beckoning vigorously with his hand.

"Not tonight, Sam." He just nodded and went back to loving the bottle, causing Ashley to roll her eyes at his antics. "I'm going to go outside for a while." She walked off to a chorus of 'Okays' and managed to only look at Spencer's cleavage once. She was quite proud of that.

---

Ashley wiggled her toes in the sparkling blue swimming pool, shoes had been discarded several minutes ago and she was happy to just bask in the relative silence. She could still hear the noises of the party but they were distant and the sound of cars pulling up and leaving, letting her know that people were jetting off finally. She loved a party, that wasn't the case, but she was feeling a little lethargic and the several beers she had been drowning in were starting to catch up with her. She drew a circle with her big toe and watched the ripples that followed.

"Shouldn't you be inside seducing the first girl you see?" Ashley looked up at the sound of Spencer's voice and smiled at her. The reflection from the pool was lighting up her face and causing her eyes to take on a shade of an unnatural blue, a colour Ashley couldn't even describe.

"Already have done, she didn't keep me interested." She turned her attention back to the glittering pool and moved her feet again and almost moaned out loud when the water washed up to her calves, soothing them from the pain her ridiculously high heels, she just had to buy, caused.

"Are you serious?" Ashley heard the familiar sound of heels being discarded and saw, out of the corner of her eye, Spencer join her by letting her feet dangle into the pool. A long sigh escaped her lips and she leant her head back just a little, exposing a pale throat to the brunette. The same brunette who was now staring at said throat and licking her lips unconsciously. She shuddered a little on the inside when the girl swallowed and tipped her head a little more, letting the ends of her blonde hair touch her back. She realised that she had been asked a question and rewinded herself so that she found out what it was.

"Uh, yeah I'm totally serious."

"Finally, you spaced out on me then." She turned to Ashley and smiled a little, tilting her head to the side and gazing at her. "Penny for 'em?"

"Sorry, I don't work for such low prices."

"One dollar, that's as high as I'm going." Ashley laughed despite herself and shook her head, knowing that Spencer probably wouldn't give up she just answered.

"Nothing important, I'm just enjoying the silence a little longer before I endure a whole night of Kyla." That wasn't a whole lie, she was bracing herself for a night of Kyla but she was also too busy getting lost in her thoughts of Taylor, who had just recently arrived, and Spencer's neck that was highly distracting and how she just wanted to jump into the pool, for no other reason than to settle the humming of her body.

"Oh right, she's something else alright." Spencer mused, smiling a little to herself at managing to strike up a good type of conversation with the notorious Ashley.

"So, how long have you been at King High?"

"Just under a year, mom brought us halfway through the school year for some absurd reason."

"Really, I wonder why I've never noticed you." She contemplated that thought to herself before she saw the girl next to her shrug.

"I tried to talk to you a few times but you kinda blanked me and on my first day I asked you where my class was and you stared at me like I was speaking Latin and just walked off." Ashley whipped her head around and looked at her girl like she was, indeed, talking Latin.

"I didn't!" She caught the look in Spencer's eyes and backed down. "Did I? Yeah, well, I didn't know you were pretty good company then and you were a cheerleader. It's written in my rules that I cannot talk to cheerleaders, ever."

"You're talking to me now though."

"Yeah, rules are meant to be broken; even if I did write them myself."

---

"You have good taste, Aiden. I'll give you that." Kyla walked up to the boy who was looking out of the window, staring at his best friend and current girlfriend who were in the middle of a conversation. A smile grew on his face when the two shared a laugh, occasionally batting each other on the arm.

"What are you talking about? I've always had great taste."

"Don't hurt this one." She leant on the wall and looked at him, watching as his eyes darkened a little and his jaw stiffen.

"I'd never hurt Spencer."

"Just like you wouldn't hurt Rebecca? Or what about Jamie, that was so obviously unintentional." Her automated eye-roll gave away she was lying.

"Kyla, don't start all that again." He turned to look at her and tried to stare her down, but it was obvious that both Kyla and Ashley were cut from the same cloth when she blatantly refused to back down.

"You get bored, Aiden, everytime." She looked out of the window and saw the two girls now seemingly deep in thought, both looking into the pool and neither saying anything. "You got bored with the last two, and the same thing happened each time you decided they weren't good enough for you."

"It wont happen again, I learnt from my mistakes and Spencer is different. I mean, damn, look at her."

"Oh, my God, Aiden. It's not about how she looks!" Aiden turned to the upset girl and narrowed his eyes, not in a threatening way but as his way of trying to figure out what was going on.

"We talked about everything Kyla; I thought we put it in the past." He tentatively put his hand out to touch her arm but she pulled away, quickly.

"Right, let's just put it in the past so the fantastic life of Aiden can be lived perfectly." At that moment Aiden was worried about how much like Ashley she was.

"I need another drink." He walked off and ignored the obviously degrading mumblings that were coming out of Kyla's mouth, all of which were directed at him.

---

The water lapped softly and at some point along the time the two girls were outside, the lights at the bottom of the pool were turned on and a shadow from below cast over them.

"So, what was it like living in Ohio? Do you miss it?" There had been a dramatic lull in the conversation and Ashley needed, for some strange reason, to restart it all back up again.

"Sort of, I miss some parts of it and other things I'm happy to be away from."

"What do you mean?" She stopped swinging her legs and looked at the blonde next to her, but unlike all the times before she didn't look back.

"I miss…my family, my friends, all those little things that you don't think really matter. Like knowing five different ways to get to the same place, and knowing how to flirt with the person behind the counter at McDonalds to give you a free milkshake." She pursed her lips and lift her feet out of pool, watching the water drip back in and letting her feet dangle back in the water.

"Your family? Like your grandparents?"

"Like my mom and dad." Without even looking up, Spencer knew exactly the type of confused look she was getting and carried on regardless of if she was questioned. "We were a lot closer in Ohio, even me and Glen. That's my big brother, by the way."

"I thought so, I thought you had two though."

"Yeah, Clay too we adopted him. Anyway, mom and dad were your typical parents you would expect from a 2.1 family. Both had great jobs, both loved each other and loved us like crazy. Then mom got a promotion to LA, and then dad told her he didn't want to go." She trailed off and Ashley shifted a little uncomfortably, unsure if she was meant to say something when she quietened down.

"But you came anyway, which is a good thing isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but ever since we got here it's been non-stop arguments. My dad has gone back to drinking, he used to have a problem, and my mom is hardly ever home. When she is, they're arguing or she's having a shouting match with me or my brothers. The only reason we came was because she said she was coming regardless, meaning if dad didn't want to then she would easily get a divorce."

Ashley bit her lip. Normally, at this very moment where a girl would pour her heart out Ashley would run. She would run and find someone else to have good, simple fun with – without consequences or problems. With Spencer though, she didn't want to run. She wanted to help and hold her and just be that distant thing people called a friend.

"I'm sorry your parents fight."

"I'm sorry you have to hear me go on about all this."

"That's what friends are for, right?" Spencer finally looked up, smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, it is."

---

"What's wrong with you?" Taylor plopped down next to Kyla and offered her a drag on her cigarette, which the smaller girl profusely ignored. They both sat outside, on the bench right at the front door.

"Nothing, I'm a little drunk. You know how I get Tay." The two had become close when Ashley and her had been dating, sharing interests and enjoying teasing Ashley about anything they could.

"Yeah, I do. It involves limited clothing and very bad karaoke." Kyla laughed with wet eyes and turned to the girl, who was absently flicking ash into the little tray Kyla had left out earlier.

"Coming from you I'll take that. I'll never forget the chicken and the –"

"Never talk about that again." The girl warned, pointing a finger at Ashley and narrowing her eyes playfully. "Really, tell me what's wrong. I'll take anyone's ass, you know that."

"One word; Aiden." Taylor blew out a puff of smoke in disgust and looked at the shorter girl.

"I thought you were over that muscle headed bastard."

"Well, obviously not. Tay; why do I want someone I can't ever have?" Kyla shook her head and looked back out at the large driveway, which was currently filled with many types of cars.

"We all do, you're not the only one babe."

"You still hung up on…"

"Yes, and I count on you to say nothing. I'll settle for friends, if that is all I can have." The voice was entirely filled with regret and Kyla almost winced.

"Ashley could still want something, you know that?"

"No. The other night we…" She trailed off, taking a long drag on her cigarette and putting it out. Kyla seemed to get what she was getting at and nodded for the older girl to continue. "We said it didn't mean anything and nothing would come of it."

"Oh."

"Yeah, Ky…Oh." The two girls leant back and took a deep breath. "God, were so pathetic." Kyla leant her head onto Ashley's shoulder, agreeing silently.

---

Ashley remained quiet until Spencer wanted to talk again. Instead she took in the gentle breathing of the girl next to her and closed her eyes, liking the rhythmic tune.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you the things that I don't actually miss."

"Yeah, total blonde moment. God you are such a cheerleader." Ashley rolled her eyes and let but a sigh, as if she was annoyed at the long wait.

"Shut up, Ashley. Anyway things I don't miss, well the thing – the small minded people that lived on my street and in my neighbourhood. Here in LA, people are more accepting."

"With girls like Madison I have to disagree."

"Those people made Madison look like a nun, or something equally charming." The two girls settled into gentle laughing at the idea of such a thought.

"So, what were they like?"

"They, in their own way, ran out a family because of the choice the daughter made." She shook her head and looked at Ashley. "They were pathetic. Just because she was dating a girl the whole street thought it was disgusting and from then on – I don't know, they just acted so different. My mom was one of the worst, she thought it was the biggest sin"

"People like that live in every town, Carlin." Spencer nodded in agreement and a wicked smile grew on Ashley's face. "Was the girl hot? Cause that would make it so sexy."

"She was alright, I suppose."

"I need a name, Carlin. I can't be getting excited over an anonymous person."

"Spencer Carlin."


	10. Confessions Of A Confused Heart

**So stupid this, but I got bored and made a video (as ya do) for this story. Link is at the bottom. Mainly because I couldn't be bothered revising. Hence why this is short, because I will not be able to update for a while; therefore I updated twice in the same month. yay! Hope you like. **

**By the way thanks for all the reviews, they were awesome! I'll thank you all individually in another chapter.**

10: Confessions Of A Confused Heart

"You're...but you. Back up and tell me that again, Carlin, because I'm pretty sure my hearing just gave out." Ashley stared at the girl like it was going to give her all of the answers, that by just looking at her the girl would come apart and tell her everything.

"I dated a girl in Ohio." She quickly stood up and Ashley was close behind, regretting throwing her shoes in a random direction and letting her bare feet slap on the concrete floor as she followed Spencer to where she was now sat on on a lounge chair, putting her shoes on.

"You dated a girl, that's fine, I really don't care. But what about Aiden? Although its sometimes debatable, he isn't a girl." The protective side of Ashley began to rear it's head, the first victim of it's wrath of being woken up was in the form of a blonde-eyed beauty.

"I know. Look, Ashley I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry." She got up again and started back towards the house, only mildly shocked to find Ashley roughly grabbing at her elbow and yanking her back.

"Are you using Aiden so your parents don't find out? Because that's just wrong."

"No, of course not. I just - She was...I'm sorry." Spencer muttered off, stuttering whenever there was a word and looking down at her feet. "I want to be with Aiden, I'm just confused."

"Do you like him?"

"Yeah, of course I do."

"Do you like girls?"

"I - I don't know. Ashley, please don't tell anyone." Ashley looked into those blue eyes and closed her own before she could get too lost. On one hand, she knew what it was like being confused about your sexuality. She knew the fear and, sometimes, the denial that all came with it. On the other hand, Aiden was her best friend and she wouldn't let just anyone string him along and just expect him to be understanding when the truth came out.

"Carlin, you're asking me to keep a huge secret from my best friend." It was when Spencer took a step back did she realise she still had hold of the girls arm. "How can I trust you're not going to hurt him?"

"You can't, but I wont Ashley. I really, really, wont." Ashley opened her mouth to say something but her eyes caught Taylor waving her from the door.

"We should go back in."

"What about your shoes?" Ashley raised an eyebrow and looked down at her feet, wiggling her toes a little and then looking back at the blonde.

"I'll live without them." Spencer simply nodded and began to walk away, being stopped almost immediately by Ashley's hand once more and turning to face blazing eyes. It was a wonder how quickly this girl could change emotions. "If you hurt Aiden I swear to God I'll hunt you down. You need to figure yourself out." The brunette saw a flash of something in Spencer's eyes and backed up a little, softening her voice in the slightest manner. "I'll keep your secret until you're ready, but I'm not happy about it." She let go of her arm and began walking inside, turning back to face the girl one last time. "Come on. Aiden is wasted, we need to find you a lift home."

---

Ashley kept a close eye on Spencer for the rest of the night, even as people began to leave and eventually there were only five people left in the room. She was too tired to argue when Taylor wrapped her arms around her waist, and she didn't push her away when she leant her body into hers when she became tired. It was familiar, the feel of her body and the smell that came with her surrounded Ashley with memories.

"How cute are Aiden and Spencer?" Taylor pulled her closer and snuggled in a bit further, the move causing Ashley to wrap her arm around her and hold her close. The whole process automatic, something that was stored within them from the past.

"Yeah, adorable." Ashley rolled her eyes. Sure, she knew about Spencer and she wasn't going to hold that against her. But she wasn't going to go as far as calling her cute, or Aiden for that matter. Taylor slapped her thigh softly, her typical playful way of scolding Ashley.

"We used to be like that you know, so don't be mean." As soon as the words were out Taylor cringed, but the brunette didn't seemed fazed by it.

"Yeah, we did but at least we were sexy while we did it."

"Ashley?" Taylor sat up and her grey eyes flashed with a new found confidence. Though her eyes showed her determination, her body pulled away from Ashley's and she bit her bottom lip. Pulling the flesh into her mouth she waited for Ashley to acknowledge her and when she did she was greeted with a smile.

"What's wrong, babe? You look like you're about to tell me something serious. Which scares me a little, because if I remember you don't do serious." She laughed lightly but stopped when she saw the expression on the other girls face. "Hey, are you alright?"

Taylor closed her eyes for a moment. Over the past month she had gotten to know Aiden all over again, better than before. He was still the kind, friendly guy he had always been around her and she loved the fact he hadn't changed. When she had asked about Ashley, to see how she was doing, she never expected her heart to pound and her head to spin. It was never an option to deny that the two always had that edge, that gave them a little more history than just friends, but Taylor was having trouble shifting from what was in the past to moving on.

When she moved it had taken a little while to get used to Ashley not being around. Dirty jokes, flirty comments and small touches were what the Davies girl was all about. She could write the book on seduction techniques and she mastered in charm, something Taylor could never get away from. Ashley was her _first, _her everything and she would go as far to admit her only love. She had dated and slept with whoever, but Ashley plagued her mind. Until, suddenly she was gone and Taylor assumed that she had finally gotten over the brunette.

Unfortunately, when Aiden had turned up at her school for some basketball game/meeting her life had been turned upside down. Only realising then that she missed the girl, and hadn't really gotten over her. Aiden had beamed with pride at telling her Ashley had gotten herself sorted once more and was trying again to form a relationship with her mother, he had practically laughed his pants off at re-telling some stories and Taylor could see that Aiden adored the girl like his sister. The two were always close, always meant to be best friends and Taylor found herself jealous of him. Much like she had heard Madison was in their past.

But Madison was never in love with Ashley, like Taylor was.

And Madison could never be anything more to Ashley, like Taylor used to be.

And Madison never stood a chance with Ashley, like Taylor could.

"Uh..."

"You're so well spoken, Tay." Ashley laughed and moved herself so she was facing the girl better. "Tell me what's up."

"I...Uh, you -"

"The maid made brownies!" Kyla's voice rang out and she half-stumbled, half-ran, into the room where they were all seated. "I said 'maid made' how awesome was that?" Ashley suppressed the urge to roll her eyes but Taylor didn't.

"That's great, Ky. We'll come in and get some soon, okay?" Spencer moved her mouth away from Aiden's, much to his displeasure and Ashley's amusement. It was funny to see a horny Aiden get frustrated, especially with some alcohol in his body. His facial expressions left Ashley giggling for hours.

"Okay!" The girl ran right back out again, only bumping into something once and causing the people in the room to cringe at the sound of something smashing.

"Yeah, that will have been expensive." Ashley received a few smiles for her comment. Aiden, finally, was starting to sober up and Spencer was getting tired. It had been arranged that they would phone for a driver to take them home later on, but the Kyla had insisted on Spencer staying. She had kindly declined the offer and was now currently waiting for Kyla to order them a ride home, until then she stayed on Aiden's lap. The brunette turned back to Taylor and looked her in the eyes, knowing that was the only way she was going to get an answer. "Tay?"

"I just..." She smiled weakly and ran her finger across Ashley's jaw line, watching as the corners of the girls mouth lifted into a smile. "You look really nice tonight, Ash." She moved closer to her, letting their noses brush in the smallest of ways and watching closely as Ashley's eyes darkened a little.

"So do you." Ashley moved her hand to Taylor's waist and brushed her thumb softly against the skin that was exposed as the girls top rode up. She heard her exes breath hitch and leant in further, connecting their lips and pushing herself closer to her. Everything that Ashley was confused about, everything she was thinking and causing her to worry a little came out in that kiss. The frustrations of not knowing what was going on between the two of them, learning Spencer's secret and seeing the glances her cousin made to her best friend all turned into passion and attacked the cherry-glossed lips in front of her.

Aiden laughed to himself as Spencer and he saw the embrace between the two girls. He was all for the two doing whatever, because he was the only one who ever saw the smile that graced his friends face when Taylor used to come into the room. He was the only one who heard the songs she wrote as she was falling deeper and deeper. Then again he knew the heartache Taylor caused Ashley through their arguments and their inevitable break up, something he would talk to her about at a later day. Because right now he had his own girlfriend on his lap and was still slightly intoxicated.

"We can't, Ashley I'm sorry." Taylor pulled away quickly and pushed herself up off of the couch.

"What's wrong? You know it's just a little fun, Tay, I didn't mean anything by it." Ashley too stood up, feeling the cold wood floor beneath her feet and instantly remembering her shoes were still tossed somewhere outside.

"That's the damn problem." The light haired girl grabbed her purse from the table and walked to the door that lead outside. "My brother will be here with the car soon. It was nice seeing you again, Ashley." She said her goodbyes to Aiden and Spencer, who watched the scene curiously, and left in such a hurry that Ashley had trouble keeping up with what was going on.

Ashley looked over to Spencer and Aiden, their eyes were still trained on the door that the girl had been in such a hurry to run out of. The couple slowly moved their eyes back to Ashley who was, not so, discreetly checking her breath.

"Ash, what did you do?" Aiden didn't try to move but looked over at Ashley, hoping beyond all that he knew that she wouldn't run outside and make a scene.

"Nothing, I don't think." She furrowed her eyebrows and looked over at Spencer and Aiden who simply shrugged and tried to look anywhere else but her.

---

"Tell Kyla thanks for tonight, yeah?" Spencer checked over her shoulder once more to make sure Aiden had successfully clambered into the back of the black SUV before returning her glance to the brunette on the doorstep. "We had a good time."

"Well, that is the main focus of a party. To have a little fun." Ashley, who had changed quickly earlier into her boxers and a vest-top, shivered a little on the doorstep and folded her arms across her chest to hide a little from the breeze.

"And thanks for, you know?"

"Don't mention it." Ashley waved a hand dismissively, then clenched it into a fist, pointed a finger into Spencer's face and playfully snarled. "Ever."

"Your word is mine as much as mine is yours." The smaller girl looked baffled for a moment before breaking out into a grin.

"Yeah. Now leave before I call the cops and have you done for stalking. Not that I can blame you, I'm hot." Unlike the past when Ashley would have simply shut the door in a persons face, she leant on the doorframe and looked at the blonde before her. In a strange way, Ashley found it adorable of how tired she looked and how much younger her features became when she was.

"You wish. I'll see you in school?"

"God, I hope not." A saddened look crossed over Spencer's face, and Ashley cringed internally when her chest became tighter. "Cause I hate that place. I suppose you make up for it." The girl smiled and Ashley was relieved, though she was still beating herself up on the inside for whatever it was she just felt.

"I do, that's very true Ashley." Spencer leant forward a little and let her lips ghost over Ashley's cheek, both girls shivering a little at the contact and rushing to the conclusion that it was a lot colder tonight than either anticipated. "G'night."

"Night Carlin."

Ashley didn't close the door until the red-tail lights could no longer be seen and her shoulder grew tired from leaning on the frame.

---

**(( http:// uk (dot) youtube (dot) com (fwdslash) watch?v0-PrFkcw7n8 )) ... That is the link to the video if you get bored. Just, ya know, don't copy and paste that and expect it to work - take out the brackets and spaces and all that, which I think is pretty obvious but I just wanted to say in case. **


	11. Weekends Are For Relaxing

**Short chapter I thought I would throw out before I fall back into assessments and coursework. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 11: Weekends are for relaxing. **

"Aiden, if you push me in this pool my little black ass will go Rambo on you." Chelsea Lewis, art student, Clay's girlfriend and the best friend that Spencer had to hide away from Madison.

At school it was no secret that out of all the cheerleaders Spencer was the most liked, the kindest and the all round American girl that could represent their school. Madison, not one to miss out on such things, jumped on Spencer's little train and even tooted the horn - knowing that being head cheerleader, friends with Spencer and dating one of the basketball guys would cement her popularity for life.

But Chelsea would always be Spencer's best friend. When they had moved to LA, Chelsea was also moving onto the same street after uprooting her life from across town. In the time it took to unload plates and furniture to the time it took for the vans to drive away her and Spencer had become fast friends. Eight months later, she and Clay had started dating and now Chelsea was pretty much always around the house. She didn't attend King High; she had been offered a place at another school because of her talent in art.

Spencer watched as Aiden's hands came down sheepishly and he backed away slowly. He didn't know Chelsea that well but he remained nice to her for the sake of Spencer and invited her to his pool party, along with the rest of the Carlin's, their respective others and of course Ashley - who had brought along Taylor. The artist walked over to Spencer, who was happily lounging on a sun bed, and took off her flip-flops and joined her there.

"Your boyfriend is such a jock." Spencer simply smiled at the comment and let her eyes dance around the people there. Ashley and Taylor were doing some sort of staring thing in the pool, Ashley's hands on either side on Taylor's body, gripping the side of the pool, and Taylor's arms were around her neck. They were in conversation but Spencer hadn't failed to notice that they had progressively gotten closer and still had to break eye contact. Her mom and dad were sipping some reddish coloured drink with Aiden's parents, Glen was smearing lotion onto Madison's exposed back in the chair next to them and Clay was inside somewhere getting Chelsea a drink.

"Your boyfriend is whipped."

"I know. Someone had to get that brother of yours into shape, he was out of control." The girls laughed respectfully at the absurdity of the statement. Clay was well on his way to getting into any college he chose and, in Spencer's mind, was one of the cleverest people she knew. Spencer was about to reply when a loud _'fine!' _was shouted from the pool and her eyes glanced over in time to see Taylor quickly making her way back inside the house, a towel clenched firmly in her hand.

"Lesbians are so dramatic." Spencer turned and saw the upturned lip on Madison; the cheerleader shook her head and looked at Spencer with wide eyes. "I told you that Ashley was nothing but trouble." The blonde repressed the eye roll that was begging for release and turned back to Chelsea.

"What do you think happened?" The two girls watched as Ashley got out of the pool, her tanned skin caught the sun and shone brightly. A scowl was evident on her face but it softened as soon as Aiden ran up to her, his hand was shrugged off of her arm and the girl quickly made her way to the chairs where Spencer and her friends were currently situated.

"I don't know. When I walked past earlier though I heard that Ashley girl talking about not wanting more, or something." She sent a smile to Ashley who had made her way over to the chairs and was rifling through her things to get a towel.

"You okay, Ashley?" The brunette looked up at Spencer's question and nodded quickly, before laying her towel on the chair and lying down quickly.

"What does it matter if she's okay? She and her life partner just had a little argument, not that anyone cares. Tell me, Ashley - was it because she wouldn't go down on you?" Madison had a smile on her face that indicated she loved this situation.

"Babe, leave it." Glen, though he would never admit it in front of his girlfriend, actually liked Ashley. The two had detention together about a month ago and he had grown to like her, Aiden then had invited the team out to a club and Ashley had been there - all over a girl, much to his pleasure. And he knew he couldn't discriminate anyway, he knew about his sister and her not-so-secret relationship with a girl long before anybody else did.

"Why? It's not normal the sort of thing that she does, I'm not going to give her any sympathy because she lives a life of sin."

"Grow up Madison." Ashley smoothly put her sunglasses on and blocked out the sunlight that had begun to hurt her eyes. "And it's not like you can say anything anyway. I mean I can recall a time a little while ago when -"

"Whatever Davies. Just work on your tan and shut up."

"I want chocolate." Chelsea announced, trying to rid the area of all the tension that was beginning to settle down on them. "Anybody else want something?" Each teenager rolled off whatever it was that they wanted and Chelsea turned to Ashley, who had taken to searching for a song through her iPod. "Do you want anything Ashley?"

"Yeah, get me a Kit Kat?"

"I hate them." Glen groaned standing up and walking to the edge of the pool, judging his distance and basking in how 'great' his dive would be. "How can you like them?" He turned to the brunette who had a wicked grin on her face.

"What can I say? I like all four fingers."

---

Spencer lay on her couch idly flicking through channels. She had done her homework and though she knew she should be with Aiden this Sunday, she had come to the conclusion she had spent all day yesterday with him - and all night - which was the perfect excuse to have a Sunday afternoon to herself. Ashley had phoned her earlier, asking her why the Maury show only had paternity tests on it and nothing else before finally getting to the point that she needed to borrow some notes. That was half an hour ago and the girls had planned that Spencer would e-mail her the notes later on in the day.

She stopped on one channel, some guy was asking why his wife was cheating on him and the woman in question was just drinking some tonic. Spencer rolled her eyes at the moronic storylines, which seemed to last months and months, before turning the television off completely. She contemplated getting up, before her brother came bounding into the room and went straight for Guitar Hero.

"Wanna see me beat your top score, loser?" Glen turned on all the right buttons before spinning around to face his sister.

"As interesting as that sounds, I should go and get the notes ready I'm giving to Ashley." She didn't move though and watched as Glen chose his level mode (Medium) and began to rifle through some songs he wanted to play.

"You like her?"

"She's alright. Why? Are you still embarrassed you fell into the pool yesterday after that Kit Kat comment?" Spencer suppressed her laughter, unlike the day before when she had tears in her eyes and a cramp in her stomach. Her brother's face had been priceless, Madison paled considerably, Chelsea had a look that crossed between shock and amusement and her mother, who had heard the exchange, sent daggers over to Ashley. The brunette had simply shaken her head after the comment, no trace of amusement on her face and lay back in the chair.

"That was wrong, Spence."

"But oh so funny, big brother." She frowned though and Glen caught the look in the TV. "I don't see why mom went all high and mighty over it though. It was just a joke."

"You know how mom is." A silence descended on the siblings and Spencer stood up.

"Yeah." She mumbled something about getting the history notes and quickly made her way upstairs. The sound of her door closing caused Glen to pause his game and run a hand over his face and through his hair as he sighed heavily.

When he had found out about Spencer and her little girlfriend, he had quickly jumped to the conclusion that Spencer was going to hell and everything that she was doing was wrong. He would make snide comments across the dinner table and would make sure that the two of them didn't have any alone time together, he would tease her and make comments about lesbians on TV and how what they were doing was wrong. But when the girl was around even Glen could see the happiness in Spencer's eyes, and he couldn't help but start to back away. She hadn't changed just because she liked a girl, or girls for that matter, he had never really asked.

She was still his little sister who teased him endlessly about those pictures of his 90's fashion.

She was still the little girl who crept into his bed when she was 7 and it was thundering outside.

She was still the baby sister of the family who had clung to him and Clay when they had taken her to the movies for the first time to see some sappy film, neither wanted to see.

She was still Spencer who, when he stood up to some bullies when she was twelve, sent him that smile that could melt stone.

The smile that only he, and Clay, got for being her big brother.

All that hadn't changed and so when he had confronted her about it and Spencer had broken down into tears, he had held her until she had fallen asleep in his arms and it was then, in that moment, he had decided that he _was _Spencer's big brother. And he would protect her from the snide comments and the teasing because as long as Spencer still sent him that smile, the one for being her big brother, everything would be okay.

"Glen, you are such an ass!" The blonde girl came running into the room and stood in front of Glen with her arms crossed and a blazing look across her face. "I told you not to download porn onto my computer. Now I have a virus."

Yeah, she was still the same old Spencer.

---

"I don't get it." Ashley sat at the kitchen table as Kyla and Aiden sat across from her. She slid a bottle of water across the counter from hand to hand, refusing to look up until she desperately had to. "Taylor is freaking out because she says she wants more. Madison is still being a whore." She finally looked up and pointed at Aiden. "You're leaving me next week and..." She looked at Kyla this time. "Something is going on with you and I can't figure it out. What the hell is up with the world?"

"I'm only going for two weeks, Ash. I thought you'd be glad to get rid of me." Aiden grabbed the water she was sliding, unscrewed the cap and took a long drink of it.

"Whatever."

"Nothing is going on with me, by the way."

"Whatever."

"Wait, Taylor wants more from you? Did she say that?" Aiden looked at Kyla and then back at Ashley. He would never admit it, but Kyla had told him a few weeks ago that she suspected Taylor still had feelings for Ashley and she was right. Kyla had a way of reading people, that was obvious, but even he didn't see the depth of attraction Taylor held for his friend.

"Well...no. She asked me if I wanted to go with her to New York for a weekend, and of course I said yes. And then she started making all these plans and things, and I was like 'whoa, I wanna hook up while I'm there' and she sent me a look which told me everything. So I said that I didn't want anything more than friendship, with maybe some benefits on the side, and she went all quiet and moody and I asked her if everything was okay - and that's when she stormed off." She took a breath and looked at her two friends across the table. "What?"

"That's the first time you have ever opened up to us like that." Kyla commented, only to be backed up by Aiden who was nodding his head and popping a grape into his mouth.

"Whatever, she isn't worth it anyway." She stood up and walked to the fridge, opening and sticking her head inside to try and find something to eat.

Aiden and Kyla both shared a look, knowing that Ashley was only confused because she hated to hurt people she was close to. Of course, she was a girl to fuck 'em and leave 'em but when it came to hurting the people close to her, or causing them some sort of distress, she would feel it. Then as soon as she felt something she would bolt, running as fast as she could and finding some excuse that would justify her behavior. It had happened before and both friends knew it was happening again.

"So why is Madison a whore?" Aiden tried to loosen up the conversation and watched as Ashley turned around, something flickered in his friends eyes that he couldn't quite place before it was taken over by stone cold hatred for the girl.

"Because she just is. She was all over that Glen guy today and then she thought she could just throw in a comment like she did. If your parents weren't there Aiden I would have slapped her so hard." Ashley rolled her eyes and sat on the stool, after closing the fridge.

"Was she being her lovely homophobic self again?" Kyla now took the bottle of water and took a drink from it, looking between the two best friends.

"She was just being that bitch we all know and hate." Aiden scoffed. He wondered briefly how he was ever attracted to the girl, but when her face popped into his mind, her swagger made itself known in his memory and he quickly remembered why he liked her. She was a hell of a kisser too and pretty damn hot in bed.

"I don't see how she has a leg to stand on considering her past." Kyla noted. They all sat in contemplative silence before Ashley slammed her hands down onto the counter top and sent the two people in front of her a cheeky smile.

"Who wants to do some shots?"

"It's a school night, Ash. My mom said I could stay here but I doubt she'll let me drink, hell, I don't even think she knows that I do." Aiden watched as she got up and walked to the liquor cabinet.

"We have loads of vodka in here; I think that's a pretty good choice."

"You're mom will kill you if you drink her stuff." Kyla knew that wasn't true, her mom would probably join in if she was here.

"Oh, these glasses have our initials on them. I remember buying these."

"I have a test in the morning and Spencer would kill me if I had a hangover at school." Ashley put down three shot glasses on the counter and joined it with two bottles of alcohol she had grabbed.

"We won't drink much. Just until the big hand gets to 12 and the little hand gets to 10."

"Get a pack of cards and we'll make it into a game." Kyla relented and moved her chair so she was directly opposite her cousin. The two girls then turned to look at Aiden who was eyeing the glasses cautiously before sighing dramatically and sitting down.

"Just don't draw on my face this time if I pass out."


	12. Shockwaves

Taylor and Kyla sat opposite one another in the plush red leather booth, in the distinctively 1950's café. The two nursed cups of hot coffee happily and waited for their respective snack of homemade apple pie. Betty, their waitress, was graying but shifted almost comidically in her little roller-skates and quickly placed the cooling treat in front of the two girls with a charming smile. She quickly asked if they needed anything else and the two teenagers were quick to shake their heads; the woman was almost as sickly sweet as the cinnamon bun in the window.

"So, when are you going back to Baltimore?" Taylor's grey eyes flew over the cup to her friend who was currently passing the sugar from one hand to the other. She had always considered the Davies' line to be attractive people; Ashley's mother, aunts and uncles were evidence of that fact but she took a moment to take in Kyla. She was good looking, no doubt there and she had a cheeky personality. Whereas Ashley had biting comments and a quick witted, if bitchy, attitude; Kyla was more laid back, only striking at the opportune moment and biding her time.

"I'm not sure. Mom said something about a tutor and me staying here in LA with daddy, but I haven't heard much else." She shrugged nonchalantly, as if what she had just said wasn't a huge deal. It wasn't a secret that Kyla and her mom didn't have a steady relationship after her and her father had divorced a year ago, rocking Kyla's foundations and clearly shocking the girl. Apparently Kyla's dad had taken a fancy to his PA in whatever business he ran and her mother would rather run around with the pool boy than her husband. Kyla had been thrown on who to trust, but was always a little daddy's girl at heart and visited often after her moved to LA; much to the enjoyment of her older cousin Ashley. Still, mother and daughter had that uncontrollable relationship where they would call one another every day, if possible, to catch up and the smile of Kyla's face when she phoned widened considerably. Sure, it wasn't all brownies and butterflies but Kyla loved her mom.

"What about school, though? She can't just take you out like that."

"I'll get a tutor I guess or she'll throw me into the shark pool called King High. I think she needs some time to herself; she hasn't been feeling well recently." Kyla took a chunk of the pie and shrugged before popping it into her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully for a moment and came to a quick realization, her eyes widening. "Don't tell Ashley, she dosen't need another person making false promises of staying and then just leaving." Taylor waved a hand dismissively.

"Even if we were talking my lips are sealed." She poked her pie and decided that she suddenly wasn't so hungry, only taking small bites because the little voice in the back of her head was chiding her for spending $3 on it in the first place. That was her weakness, no matter the cost if she wanted it she would go all out to try and get it. Especially if it was pie, or shoes. She shrugged mentally and summed up that shoes always won over food.

"Why aren't you talking? What did Ashley do this time?" Kyla, of course, already knew the answer but she also knew better than to believe Ashley straight away. There was always two sides to every story and Ashley's side tended to be a little dramatic and she was never at fault.

"Nothing, it wasn't her. I went and ran my mouth about liking her and she froze up, leading me to running off and now she wont answer my calls." Taylor once more poked the pie in front of her, with a little more force, and pushed the white plate away. Betty, who was wiping the counter for the fourth time, sent her a disapproving look and clicked her teeth at the display. Obviously, she had worked hard baking that pie the night before.

"She'll come around. She's still a little antsy about Aiden leaving on Saturday." Taylor nodded. It was only Monday so Ashley wasn't bound to be in full bitch mode until about Thursday, so she hoped she still had a little time for some sort of reconciliation. She thanked God she had today off of school, due to upcoming tests, because her mind had been a whirlwind about the ever mysterious brunette. Taylor had hoped Ashley would have forgotten about their talk, but obviously she had struck a nerve in the girl because she wasn't being as receptive to her as before. She came to the conclusion the night before that maybe too much time had passed between the two.

"Speaking of that moronic ass. How are you?" Kyla, who had taken Taylor's thinking time to inhale the rest of her pie, froze and glanced up at the brunette in front of her. She swallowed thickly and fiddled with her fork as she obviously struggled for an answer.

"I'm fine, you know, afterall it's just Aiden. He's not that great, and he has a weird birthmark on his -"

"Ass! Watch where you are walking next time. God, the people in this place." The two girls span around to see Ashley, the guy in question and his current girlfriend walking into the diner. Taylor smiled unconsciously at Ashley as she continued to rant at the poor guy she had walked into, causing a glass of coke to tumble near her shoes. The three teenagers walked over to join their friends, Ashley choosing to sit next to Kyla, and Taylor sent Kyla a look that told her they would talk another time. The shorter girl could only nod humbly and forced herself to smile at Ashley who was still apparently ranting about the "...cheap, lousy staff that they employ at these places. I mean, really, the fifties were, like, fifty years ago. Oh, is that coffee." She made a grab for Taylor's cup, only to be denied by the swatting hand of her cousin.

"Don't be rude. What are you doing here Ashley?" Although glad to see her favourite cousin, Kyla was obviously annoyed at the fact she had shown up when she was hoping to get some things off of her chest to the girl whom she had shared many secrets to when she was dating her relative.

"Schools over and I saw you two losers in here. I don't know what Cheer Barbie and Captain Muscle are doing here though." She swung her arm around the top of the booth and hugged her cousin close, before narrowing her eyes and edging back a bit. "Wait, are we interrupting?"

"No."

"Course not, Ash."

"Good. I wasn't leaving anyway. So, what are we doing this fine afternoon ladies?" She looked over at Aiden, who was trying to sport a glare, and shrugged her shoulders. "You cried at Bambi, you're not a real man." Aiden turned a deep shade of red and Spencer was quick to kiss his cheek, telling him she found it cute, while the other three girls cackled heartily.

"I had something in my eye." He protested, his chest puffing out in an attempt to look manly, only serving more to prompt Ashley into furthermore giggles. "I did, Ashley I hate you."

"I think it's nice, Aiden. I hear loads of girls are into men who are in touch with their feminine side." Taylor reassured him, earning her a smile from Spencer and a sigh of relief from Aiden. She saw the wicked glint on Ashley's face and instantly tried to take it back, only to be beaten by Ashley herself.

"Yeah, I know some people who might be interested in your feminine side. I'll call Daniel and Leo immediately." Ashley and Kyla erupted into more laughter at the thought of their very male and very gay friends in Baltimore. Taylor joined in smiling along as Aiden huffed in the corner, stopping to stare incrudiously at Spencer as she tried to hide a smile into his chest.

"I hate it when you lot get together." He continued to sulk, even going as far as crossing his arms and hoping that his biceps would define him more as the man he was. "Anyway, I can't stay long I have basketball practice."

"Oh, good luck with your thing this weekend by the way." Kyla smiled shyly from across the table and made sure to look past Aiden when he sent her a toothy smile. "It's really great you've gotten the opportunity."

"Oh yeah it's freaking fantastic." Ashley muttered, the table going quieter at her not so discreet words. "No, I didn't mean it like that Aiden. It is good, for you." She smiled at him and he beamed back at her, squeezing her wrist gently; their sign of affection from a young age.

"Anyway, I'll see you girls later. Spencer, do you want to come with me or are you okay to stay with these three witches?"

"Hey, I'll have you know that we make warts look sexy." Kyla called.

"And the colour black goes with all our skin tones." Taylor added, as the boy stood up and shook his head.

"Yeah, and our broomstick technique is out of this world." Ashley chuckled, leaning her head on Kyla's shoulder. All three girls looked at Spencer as if to wait her reply, Ashley smiling a little when the young girl blushed furiously under their gazes. "Come on Carlin, you might as well stay. All Aiden will be doing is getting sweaty as he chases a ball around a court, I'll take you home in an hour." Spencer looked at Aiden who shrugged and kissed her quickly, letting his hand linger on her waist.

"I'll call you later, babe." With that he issued three goodbyes and took off out of the door, the little bell signalling his departure. Spencer sat back down and wondered briefly what she was letting herself in for.

---

Ashley pulled up slowly outside Taylor's house, glancing around and nodding appreciatively at the decor on the outside. This was obviously her father's house; the three cars in the garden that were in the process of being "pimped out." proved that little theory. For as long as she had known Taylor, cars were always in her garden and being worked on by either her eldest brother, when he came home from college, or her dad. Ashley had liked it, the family dynamic and the laughter when the car actually worked and stuttered down the road.

"Thanks for the ride, Ash." Taylor, who had called shotgun, moved to open her door before smiling at Ashley. In the back Spencer watched the exchange, Kyla had ditched the three earlier after informing the girls she had been called by her dad and he was picking her up.

"Hey, I have a car and you needed a lift. It was the perfect plan." It frustrated Taylor to no end when Ashley was like this; as if everything was okay and she hadn't been avoiding her phone calls at all. Especially when she thought she knew where she stood, Ashley went and tried to flirt with her all again and messed up any type of ability of moving on.

"Yeah. Ashley, about what I said at Aiden's..." She caught brown eyes check her rear-view mirror and instantly caught on that the brunette didn't want to talk about it with Spencer there. Instead of continuing she popped the door open and hopped out of the car. "Hey Spencer, do you want to jump in the front?" The blonde girl nodded and Taylor smiled at her, waiting until her slightly taller companion got out of the back and moved into the front.

"Tay?" The light brunette looked past Spencer to Ashley, and raised her eyebrow in answer. "Maybe we can meet up sometime, to talk about what you said. I'll pick you up from school one day or something, yeah?" Taylor simply nodded and shut the door, making Spencer jump a little.

"Sorry." She smiled and rubbed the blondes arm in apology through the open window. "And yeah, I'll call you sometime during the week." Ashley leant across Spencer and reached into the glove compartment, taking out a card and her sunglasses.

"Here, I changed my number. Madison and her little crew got a hold of my last one and the constant ringing was driving me crazy." She handed the little card with her number written onto it to Taylor and ignored the sensation that was rippling in her stomach. She wasn't sure if it was because she was trusting Taylor again or because she was leaning over Spencer, who seemed to have frozen in place. She slipped her sunglasses on and flashed Taylor a grin.

"Bye Ash." The girl waved a little and Ashley pulled away after waving to her. She made a left turn and hid her grin when she heard Spencer let out the breath she had been holding for the longest time.

--

_"I feel so untouched and I want you so much..." _Ashley sang happily as she waited for the signal to go, Spencer watched her completely enthralled by the young girl's voice and almost blushing at the sexy husk it held.

"Your voice is amazing, Ashley." The blonde girl regretted her decision to voice her opinion when the brunette quickly stopped singing in the middle of a sentence. She bit her lip and waited for some sort of bitchy comment about her eavesdropping or not knowing a good song when she heard one, or something. Instead she saw a thin pink colour coat the girl's cheeks and a ghost of a smile washed over her face.

"Thanks, it's pretty much the only thing I've gotten from my dad. Except apparently my stubborn attitude and way with the ladies." She slowly came to a halt outside the Carlin residence.

"Well I happen to like it." The two girls shared a smile and Ashley fought down the urge to blurt she had been in a situation like this before, but the other girls smile wasn't as nice and daylight wasn't making eyes look brighter.

"Me too."

A loud curse and the slamming of a front door prompted both girls to whip their heads around and look towards the house Spencer live in. Ashley saw a blonde woman striding to a car, a scowl evident on her face and her bodily actions proving she was beyond angry. She got into the car and squealed away before the door opened again and a dark haired man appeared, staring after the car with a withdrawn look on his features. Ashley looked over to Spencer, her eyes had a layer of tears coating them and she was chewing her bottom lip so hard Ashley was afraid it was going to bleed any second.

The brunette continued to watch as the man in the door spotted the two girls, the windows down made them easier to spot and he audibly sighed as he walked over to the car. His blue shirt was crinkled and Ashley saw how he shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked.

"Hey honey. Is this your new friend, you mentioned?" He smiled over at Ashley who sent a little wave, but she knew full well he had come over in an attempt to make Spencer leave the confines of the car. Not that she had any problems hitting the gas and pulling away if Spencer asked.

"Yeah. Dad this is Ashley; Ashley this is dad." She unbuckled her seatbelt and put her hand on the door, her body turned ready to get out. "Sorry I'm late; I was with Ashley and some other friends."

"It's alright, Clay and Glen have only just got back and your mom had to leave to go to the hospital." The kind features of the man almost made the lie believable, but the way father and daughter looked down to the floor at the mention of 'mom' had Ashley believing otherwise. "More lasagna for us, eh?"

"Sure, great dad." She looked back at Ashley and gave her a weak smile. "See you at school, tomorrow?" She hopped out of the car, her dad taking a step back and closed the door, her head in the window still waiting for an answer.

"Of course, Carlin." She received another smile before turning and walking briskly into her house. Ashley shifted a little uncomfortably as Spencer's dad continued to look at her, embarrassed as to how the two first met.

"Maybe you could come for dinner too sometime, Ashley?" It was obvious the guy was trying to keep some normality in his daughter's life and Ashley nodded, knowing she probably wouldn't take him up on the offer but feeling bad anyway.

"Okay. Thanks." Unsure of what else to say, she went about making it look like she was getting ready to drive off and the older man got the hint. He smiled at her and walked back towards the house, Ashley's eyes trailing him and lingering on the door for a while. She jumped at the sound of her phone ringing and flipped it open, putting it to her ear.

"Ash...My mom, she - God, Ash I need you." Kyla cried down the phone causing Ashley's heart to stop being momenterially.

"Kyla, calm down. What's wrong?"

"It's my mom. Ash, she's been rushed into the hospital."


	13. Steps in The Right Direction

Ashley had parked over two spaces, horns had blasted and she was pretty certain she had more tickets on her windshield than she cared to admit but as she ran through the hospital corridors; she couldn't have cared less.

_Room 361, room 361, room 361._

Her heels clicked the mantra into her mind and she threw herself through some double doors, bumping into some poor nurse who was holding what looked like to be a bag of liquid and Ashley only managed to throw a "sorry" over her shoulder as she turned the corner.

_Room 361, room 361 - Don't worry Kyla. _

She looked up at the doors, 356, 357, 358. Internally grumbling she picked up speed only to almost collide into an opening door, she skidded to a stop and looked at the number.

"Hey, it's 361." She would have gloated if the person coming out hadn't been her stricken cousin. She wrapped her arms around the small girl and kissed the top of her head, she desperately wanted to know why the hell her auntie was in LA and in the hospital but at the moment she wanted to simply be there for her family. "I'm here, Ky."

---

Spencer lay on her bed as she wrote in her journal, her pink pen jabbed at the paper as she had realised what she had wrote and sighed loudly into the pillows. She re-read her words and tried to make sense of everything.

_"...I mean, I always thought grey eyes would be really cold and unfeeling but Taylor's are comforting and friendly. I've always hated mine; blue eyes are so simple and predictable on a blonde haired girl. Some blondes have brown eyes. It would be awesome to have eyes like Ashley's, hers are amazing. They have these little gold flecks in them and..."_

It surpassed Spencer why she was even thinking about girls eyes, nevermind being able to name how many flecks of gold there was in Ashley's or how they would light up in a certain way when her wicked tongue would spit out something disgustingly funny.

Damn it.

Her eyes flew up to her opening door and she practically threw her journal under her bed. Not that it would have mattered, because the boy who was entering her room didn't feature much in the light purple pages; but, maybe that was the problem. It spoke of her life in Ohio, her past relationships, friendships and her new ones here in LA - but only mentioned Aiden once, or twice.

_"Aiden is cute and really funny, we had a date tonight. The girl in front of us had this amazing white top on, totally hot - it showed enough skin to tease and covered enough to be modest."_

_"Aiden and I are dating now; I wonder what his best friend is like? He talks about her a lot and I've seen her in my lessons, but never actually talked to her. He said he was going to tell her about us soon, so maybe we'll speak then."_

Her entries had then digressed into cheerleading and how Chelsea and Clay were the cutest couple, how Madison put on a front to everybody, how her brother Glen could be amazing but the biggest ass at the same time and how glad she was she met Kyla, Taylor and Ashley.

"So, your mom told me you only had Dr. Pepper in the house. I hope that's okay." He held out the bottle to her and she took it graciously, even if she disliked the drink and it was actually Clays. She accepted the chaste kiss from him and watched as he sat next to her on the bed. She cuddled into him automatically and he folded his arm around the top of her shoulders and pulled her closer, the act simple but filled with care.

"Aiden?" He mumbled a 'what' to her as he chewed on the brownies Paula had sent him up with. "I know I've asked before but..."

"Don't ask about the Ashley and Madison thing, Spence." He warned and picked up his own bottle of Dr. Pepper, Clay would be pissed.

"Why? What's so bad that I can't know? Your girlfriend." Yes, she played the girlfriend card but she was curious. At school she had seen the looks her two friends shot between one another, and only a few days prior Madison had cornered Spencer once more and told her to watch her back around 'that Ashley girl.'

"It's got nothing to do with us, so leave it."

"Was it bad?" Aiden sighed and realised that Spencer wasn't going to give in easily.

"Yeah, sort of."

"Did it hurt anyone?"

"Spencer can you just -" He was cut off with the loud voice of "50 Cent" as his phone rang and he signaled a sorry to Spencer. "It's Ash." He took the phone call and Spencer watched as his eyes darkened and he tried to soothe his best friend down the line, finishing the conversation with; "We'll be there in twenty minutes."

"What's going on?" Spencer asked out loud as Aiden pulled her up from the bed and threw her jacket at her.

"Kyla and Ashley need us."

She didn't need to be told twice.

---

"It's my entire fault." Kyla was shaking in Ashley's arms and she buried herself deeper into her cousin's neck, her tears long since dried and showing no signs of returning.

"What do you mean? Ky, your mom had a minor heart attack. She's going to be fine; it was no-ones fault." Ashley had received her answers from her aunt's nurse as Kyla went outside to accept a phone call from her dad. Apparently, just after the plane had landed in Los Angeles she had complained of feeling dizzy and sat down - claiming she felt better, her aunt had stood up and merely taken five steps before collapsing.

"She was visiting me, Ash. She hates flying, and she isn't in the best health as it is. I phoned her two days ago, crying that I missed her and if I hadn't have done that she wouldn't have flown out here and she wouldn't be in there." Her hand flew out and pointed at the hospital room where her mother was sleeping.

"God, is that what you think?" Kyla simply nodded against her cousin and wrapped herself tighter around her. "Kyla, you know she would have come out here anyway - she adores you, even if she dosen't show it all the time. You're an amazing daughter, and cousin I might add, you've done nothing wrong. She came out here 'cause she misses you too; it's not your fault."

"But I -"

"No buts, I mean it." She pulled away from her cousin slightly. "She's going to be alright, I mean, she's coming home the day after tomorrow. Don't worry so much, it's all going to be alright." Kyla smiled at Ashley and placed a small kiss on her older cousin's cheek. "She wouldn't dare leave us anyway, she wasn't even here for my 18th birthday so there is no way she is missing my 19th."

"I love you."

"You too."

"Kyla!" The cousins looked up to see Aiden and Spencer rounding the corner and quickly making their way towards her. Ashley's eyes lingered that little too long on the blonde girl and Kyla pretended not to notice, knowing that confronting Ashley about it would be as useful as pulling teeth. Painful and worthless.

"What are you guys doing here?" Kyla stood up, followed by Ashley, and looked at the pair as they finally stood in front of them.

"Ashley phoned Aiden and he brought us here. How are you doing?"

"Fine, thanks Spencer."

"How did you get up here? It's family only." Ashley raised an eyebrow, the only reason she had gotten past is because she had barely stopped to let surgeons through doors - nevermind checking in to state relationships.

"My girl has skills." Aiden proudly stated, wrapping his arm around Spencer and beaming. Kyla once more ignored the look that crossed Ashley's face and quickly put it down to her being jealous of Spencer taking Aiden's attention from her.

"My mom is a nurse here. I used some words she uses and they let us past, it wasn't anything exciting." The only blonde blushed under the three gazes and shifted from foot to foot.

"Dosen't matter anyway, you're here now." Kyla smiled and opened her arms, which Aiden instantly filled, wrapping her in a hug and letting her know that he was there for her.

Spencer saw Ashley standing by, looking a little awkward and quickly realised that it wasn't just Kyla's mother in the room next to them but Ashley's aunt. Without a word, or an argument from the brunette, Spencer wrapped her, too, in a hug that told her she was there for her.

---

She was pouting, Spencer could tell that much, but by the way Aiden was keeping a wary distance away from the tiny brunette she figured it was more than a pout.

They were stood in the airport terminal, herself, Aiden and Ashley - who had grumbled all the way during the drive. She had managed to run one red light after Aiden had suggested they go a little faster in case he missed his plane and in turn she had sent one glare around the car that suggested to everyone to be quiet.

So they were.

Nobody had spoken a single word in over ten minutes and Spencer was beginning to think that Ashley's little tantrum was becoming a little excessive.

"You better come back." The blonde turned to the now speaking shorter girl and regarded her curiously, unsure of where she was going to go with that line of conversation. She was in a violate mood today and even if she was fed up of her, she wasn't going to voice it.

Although her and Ashley had grown closer, thanks to their many lessons together, Spencer still felt like the younger girl around another girl who could make her feel very small, very fast. Ashley's confidence often overwhelmed her, yet excited a part of her she wasn't sure ever existed before. Around the brunette she found herself openly flirting, instead of blushing viciously each and everytime the girl would flirt with her. Aiden had told her many times not to take her seriously, that charm was what made up Ashley along with lust, loyalty and wit.

"I will, Ash." Aiden continued to look up at the flights and caught on that he really needed to say his goodbyes now.

"With presents."

"Of course."

"And a college place."

"I wouldn't dream of doing anything else."

"You should go; they're calling your flight." Ashley stepped forward, pout still firmly in place, but with a more relaxed look on her face. Aiden quickly gave Spencer a kiss on the cheek before enveloping Ashley into a hug, which she would say she didn't need but it was obvious she did.

"Don't get into any trouble while I'm away, Kyla isn't as forgiving as I am." Ashley merely grinned at the statement and signaled with her eyes to say goodbye to his girlfriend. Spencer was caught off guard as Aiden swept her into his arms and melted his mouth with hers, causing the other girl to look away. They stayed like that for a long moment before Aiden set her down.

"I'll miss you." Spencer stated shyly, the toe of her trainer scuffing the floor slightly and her eyes downcast. "Text everyday?"

"And I'll call." He heard the brunette scoff. "I'll call both of you, to make sure this one dosen't get arrested." He pointed at Ashley during his statement, which only resulted in a giggle from Spencer and a slap on the arm from his best friend.

"Leave, I'm not sure I want you back with all the insulting you're dishing out." With that sentence the decidedly strong brunette began to push him towards his gate number, using both of her hands and inching him forwards.

"Don't worry; I'll take care of her." Spencer eased Ashley away from the laughing guy, and once more said her goodbyes as she watched her boyfriend walk to his gate and finally disappear down the tunnel and onto his plane.

"You'll take care of me?" She turned to see the amused face of a certain singer and raised a mirrored eyebrow.

"You won't be that hard." She smirked and bit her lip gently before releasing it. "From what I hear you can be pretty easy." The statement seemed to shock the brunette for the moment, before she took a step forward, obviously recovering quickly.

"Taking advantage of the freedom already, Carlin?" That flustered the blonde and she shook her head. "Good, because I wouldn't want Aiden to comeback and find I've moved in on his ground." The mention of Aiden quickly made Ashley look towards the gate, and Spencer saw a flash of something skip through her dark eyes.

"He'll be back before you know it." Ashley simply nodded, only cracking a smile when she felt Spencer's fingers loosely hold onto hers; a move that the blonde had been building courage up to doing since the day before. Spencer too turned towards the tunnel, which was now being closed off, and hid her smile at the intimate lacing of the hands.

Her boyfriend had gotten the wrong girl.

Aiden hadn't even left LA yet and she was already getting into trouble.

---


	14. Meet My Mom

Ashley hated hospitals. The smell, the noise, everything drove her mad about them; yet recently she had spent a good portion of her time in one. Her aunt was, at the moment, back at Kyla's house but in their rush to get her out of there, the cousins had forgotten her belongings. Ashley had offered to go and pick them up, considering Kyla was currently camping out in her mother's bedroom and tending to her every need. Which both annoyed the older woman and thrilled her.

"Name?" Drawled the petite red-head behind the desk, up until now Ashley's thoughts had remained PG but she was now faced with a beautiful girl in a nurse's uniform. She bit down on her lip and thought about how this could potentially work out.

Option A would get her some girl's number at the expense of her sick aunt's belongings, ultimately not getting them because of situations that involved closets and 10 minutes to spare.

Option B would get her thrown out of the hospital for annoying staff, and still not get the clothes.

Damnit.

"Julie Woods." Ashley answered, finally figuring that she really shouldn't be thinking these thoughts in hospital hallways. The girl typed something into the computer and nodded as she jabbed the enter key a few times, leaving Ashley a little amused.

"If you go to the second floor nurses station someone will give them to you. You'll have to sign for them." Instead of acknowledging the brunette the girl simply went back to her work and began to shuffle some papers. A little put off Ashley clicked her way over to the elevators and made her way to the second floor and to the nurses station.

This is was why she hated hospitals. People were running around like a crazy house and doctors were sliding past her, muttering things that didn't sound to good for a professional to be saying. It was beyond Ashley how hospitals were so different from the ones on TV. Where was the gossip and scandal? Where was the head nurse having her way with a drugged up patient in a closed off room, next door to her doctor husband?

Ashley shook her head and made a mental note not to watch Grey's Anatomy drunk, ever again.

"Hi, I'm here for my aunt's stuff." Instead of being asked for her name the blonde in the chair didn't even blink an eye. That was two women who hadn't even seen Ashley's presence and that was simply wrong. "Hey, need my aunt's belongings." She rolled her eyes when the woman put a pen in her mouth and signaled she would be just a moment, with her index finger. Ashley narrowed her eyes and leant forward over the desk and gave the woman a poke in her shoulder.

_There, that caught her attention._

"I said I'd be a moment, miss."

"No, you pointed your finger at me." Ashley furrowed her eyebrows and looked over the woman's form. She was familiar, or at least her eyes were. She let her eyes drift to the nametag on the blonde's chest and broke into a smile. "Whoa, are you Carlin's mom?"

"Excuse me?" The woman didn't seem best pleased and Ashley waved her hands around, trying to get the stupid smile off of her face.

"You're Carlin's mom, the one who stormed out of the house the other day. You know, you're not doing your car any favors driving off like that." She pointed out and tapped her fingers on the desk. She knew from those few conversations with Spencer that she and her mom didn't get along, and it was only a friend's prerogative to take sides. Ashley decided to take Spencer's. The woman looked flustered for a few moments before she stood up, signalling her authority.

"I don't know who you are, but I will not be spoken to like that. Now if you are here for a personal matter I will try and help, otherwise please leave." Ashley raised an eyebrow and wondered if it was even worth arguing with her.

On one side, Ashley had seen the grief wash over Spencer's face when they had pulled up outside the house when her mother had driven away. That in its own right gave her a reason to argue with the woman, something Ashley was still trying to figure out. Why did she care how Spencer's face dropped suddenly at the sight? On the other side, the woman looked ready to take a scalpel to Ashley and that was something she didn't really want.

"Yeah, I want my aunt's stuff. Julie Woods, she was sent home yesterday and I need her belongings. Think you can help me?" The older woman's cobalt eyes settled onto Ashley with annoyance, before she nodded and sent her a smile which Ashley was convinced nurses learnt at night class.

"Yes, I've just gotten a message from a nurse downstairs about it. I'll be just a moment, if you could wait on those chairs." She walked away and Ashley had to suppress any comments or laughter that was bound to spew out after that forced sentence. God, that woman was uptight.

"Ashley?" The brunette turned and found that the younger Carlin's smile was infectious, instantly returning it. "What are you doing here?" She made her way over and put a box of -- something -- onto the desk.

"Picking up what we left here the other day." She generously took in the girl's appearance, and noted that when the girl had her hair up, her neck looked a hell of a lot more appealing. "What about you? Is this the new hang out for cheerleaders?" Spencer rolled her eyes and leant on the desk, crossing her legs at the ankles.

"No, I've brought my mom some lunch." She blushed, causing Ashley to smile at the tint in her cheeks. It was kind of adorable. "We've already had cheer practice anyway."

"Could you sign -- Spencer?" Paula stopped short of the desk and placed a small box near Ashley.

"You want me to sign your daughter?" She raked her eyes over the girl once more and saw that her top was low, showing a patch of lightly tanned skin, a perfect place to sign. "Fair enough, give me a pen." Spencer noticed where Ashley's eyes were, as did Paula, and both women tutted. For separate reasons.

"The bottom line please." The eldest blonde all but slapped Ashley in the face with a clipboard, that had a little blue pen dangling from it, as she turned to talk to her daughter. "What are you doing here, Spence?"

"Brought you some lunch; I didn't know if you would be home or not." She shrugged and scratched at her neck, obviously uncomfortable. "Are you going to be home for dinner tonight? Dad needs to know."

"Oh, I'm sorry honey. Angela has called in sick; the poor woman has come down with something. I told her last week she wasn't right, but she didn't listen and now look where she is. I'm taking her shift until at least midnight."

"Who works until midnight on a Saturday?" Ashley scoffed, putting the newly signed sheet onto the desk and picking up the white cardboard box that had her aunt's name and patient number scrawled on the side.

"Well, I'll tell dad you'll be late then. He's outside you know." Before Paula could answer her beeper went off, causing Spencer to flinch.

"Oh, sweetie, I have to go. I'll phone you tonight when I have a free moment." She kissed Spencer on the cheek and gave Ashley a brief look, before taking off down the corridor where three other doctors were rushing around.

"She left her lunch." Ashley deadpanned, shifting the box in her arms and waiting for the blonde to say something. "Must be pretty busy being a nurse, huh?" Spencer just nodded and began slowly walking towards the elevator that Ashley had come up in.

"Yeah."

"I'd hate to do it." She followed the girl and hoped she could get a conversation going, because she was prettier when she was smiling.

"Yeah."

"God, elevators take a while to come."

"Yeah."

"Hey, Spencer?" That got the girls attention and Ashley ignored how her stomach twisted when she said the girls full name.

"Yeah?" This time it was spoken with a small smile playing on her lips.

"Wanna go and get some lunch? I know a really nice place."

"Yeah." They both stepped into the elevator and Ashley didn't miss the full blown grin on her friends face.

---

After making sure it was okay with Spencer's dad, and phoning Kyla to say she would be a little late, Ashley was sailing through the traffic and talking into her Bluetooth about making sure she was booked at her favourite restaurant. When all was said and done, Ashley thanked the person on the other line and cut off.

"Hey Carlin, fancy coming to a restaurant with me and Kyla tomorrow night? I'm playing and it'll be cool if you can be there."

"Playing what?" Spencer sneaked a look at the brunette and tilted her head a little to the side.

"Scrabble." She droned, before smiling. "It's not a proper restaurant, but they serve food and drinks. There is a small stage that people perform on for the patrons, or whatever. Taylor works there so she got me a place singing, so are you coming or not?"

"What time?"

---

"--And I know others have been through more than me, but I think that with what I've been through I can relate to some people, ya know? I don't know. My dad is a social worker, so I suppose that is where I get it from." Their food long since eaten, the two had gotten onto several different topics, only Ashley had been interested in what Spencer had wanted to do once she finished school.

"That's cool; I wouldn't have the patience to deal with teenagers." She circled the rim of her glass with her finger, contemplating if she should have another drink or not. Afterall, it was getting to at least half past four and she had to get Spencer home for six.

"So what do you want to do then?" Ashley shrugged; she hadn't really thought that far ahead.

"We'll see what happens." They shared a smile, Ashley clawed desperately at the walls she was slowly sliding down. She had been in this position several times, a girl, a nice meal and a conversation but never had she felt compelled to keep talking.

Spencer was one of a kind and she couldn't help but feel a little jealous that Aiden had her, considering what the blonde had gotten up to in Ohio. She never hid that she was attracted to the blonde, Kyla saw it the night of the party and she had told Aiden, when asked, that she thought Spencer was hot. There was more to her though, that made Ashley want to learn more and she knew she couldn't. Because she had been in _that _situation before and she had promised herself, and Aiden, that she wouldn't go there again.

"Ashley Davies!" The brunette looked up to see a familiar looking waitress heading there way, and she died quickly on the inside. Sophie was on a gap year when Ashley had met her, and she was obviously still here. They had spent a week together, messing around and having a good time. Until Sophie had called her a girlfriend and Ashley had bolted.

"Hey..." She gave a small wave and sent Spencer an apologetic look, to which she was ignored as Spencer watched the dark haired girl stand in front of their table.

"Hey? That's all you're going to say? God Ashley."

"Check please!" Ashley looked around the girl and caught the waiters' eye who had served them. He nodded that he had heard her and made his way to the register to sort out their bill.

"What, are you doing to run again? Typical." She turned to Spencer who recoiled a little at the angry teenager. "This you're new piece of meat? How original, blonde-haired-blue-eyed southern bell."

"Excuse me?" Ashley did a double take of Spencer's voice and swore she heard her mother in it.

"She'll burn you too, you know. She'll get bored and find something newer." She looked back at Ashley. "I thought we had something."

"Obviously not, now can you leave we were in the middle of a conversation." Spencer stood her ground earning her bemused looks from both girls. Ashley bit her lip and chided herself for how hot she was finding the look on Spencer's face, right at this moment. Sophie made a disgusted noise and walked away, muttering something about Spencer and how she would only end up getting hurt.

"Sorry about that, Carlin. You know how exes are."

"How many exes do you have exactly? It feels like I've met more people by knowing you, than in my entire life." A bill was slapped down before Ashley could retaliate and Spencer was up and out of her chair before Ashley could produce her purse. She noticed a twenty dollar note on the table and rolled her eyes, paying the right amount from her money and picking it up. She quickly followed the blonde outside, confused as to her reaction and grabbed her arm when she reached her.

"What the hell was that?" _Apart from confusing and kinda sexy._

"I don't like being talked to like that by girls I don't know. It seems when we bump into your exes I get the evil eye, and it's unfair." Ashley nodded and gave her a tight lipped smile.

"Sorry, Carlin, it's not like I purposefully do it."

"I know. I'm sorry I had a little fit." Ashley shrugged and accepted the hug the blonde was reaching for. She wrapped her arms around the girls' waist, and relished in the feel of her against her body. She let her head rest on Spencer's shoulder and felt herself being pulled that little bit closer.

"All is forgiven. Many girls get jealous over me." The embrace went on for a little longer than necessary, only stopping when a car alarm went off in the car-park. Both girls pulled back a little, only to find their noses brushing and breaths mingling.

Ashley flexed her fingers, out of habit, and heard the younger girl inhale sharply. Moving forward a little she could feel that breath on her lips, and another deep breath was taking, but she wasn't sure who it was from. She closed her eyes as Spencer moved her hand from around Ashley's neck to rest onto her shoulders, and Ashley moved her own to the girls' hips. The movement was so very simple, but it broke whatever spell they were under and Ashley opened her eyes in time to see Spencer's widen.

"I - We should...My dad will be wondering where I am." The blonde stuttered and pulled herself away from Ashley. Taking a single step back to be safe. Ashley simply nodded and walked to the car, her thoughts now becoming a jumbled mess thanks to Spencer's perfume and her senses were flying all over the place.

The ride home was quiet, the man on the radio station predicted a storm and Ashley had glanced out of the window to see large grey clouds hanging over the City of Angels; making its presence known and showing it was unhappy. She pulled up outside Spencer's house, and the blonde was quick to undo her seatbelt and open the car door; although she didn't step out just yet.

"Thanks for today, Ashley."

"No problem." She turned to the blonde and remembered the twenty dollars in her pocket. With a little fumbling she pulled it out and held it ready for the girl to take, which she didn't. "What? It's yours."

"I was paying for my half."

"Your half didn't come to twenty dollars, Carlin."

"It was a tip aswell."

"Take it."

"No."

"Take it, Carlin. I offered you lunch so I bought it, it's not a big deal." She waved the green note to the blonde a little, but she refused to accept it.

"It is to me."

Having enough, Ashley leant towards Spencer and once more heard the girl gasp a little. She was unsure which let out a large exhale of air, but at the moment that wasn't what was on her mind. She held up her hand and gently placed the dollar bill into the pocket on Spencer's white shirt. Her fingers grazed the blondes' chest, just a little, the action caused them both to blush the smallest amount.

"You can pay for it next time." Spencer only nodded and almost flew out of the car in her hurry to get inside. Before she shut her front door, though, she looked over her shoulder and gave Ashley a coy smile that caused all momentum in her body to freeze. The front door closed and Ashley bit her lip.

What was she getting herself into?


	15. Sail Away

**Okay, so we pushed the narrative forward a little but we have a few of the chapters planned out for a nice ride.**

"If you have such a problem with my work patterns, Arthur, then you know where the door is!"

"Oh, so I should be the one to go? After you uprooted us from Ohio. After you said you would come on your own if we didn't. After you moved our three children out from their schools, and lives, just to please yourself. I have to be the one to go?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I said. God, why can't I be selfish for once in my life?"

"Because your a mother! You're a wife; you're these before you're anything else. Jesus, Paula, I talk to your voicemail more than I talk to you. The kids haven't had a full sit down dinner with us both in over two months."

"Well I apologize for wanting to give my family something better, I'm truly sorry."

"If we wanted something better we'd get it ourselves. Do you know anything about us anymore?"

"Of course I do."

"Fine. What was the score Clay got on his recent Physics paper?" Silence. "He got a 98. And Glen, which team is he playing next in basketball?" More silence. "The LA Tigers. What about Spencer? What class is she at the top of?"

"I don't have time for this."

"History, like she was in Ohio. They aren't hard questions, Paula, why don't you know them?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you."

"I never said I was. I'm saying my priorities have always been the children and you used to be the same. Paula, take off your coat, it's almost two in the morning there's no reason for you to go to work."

"I'm on the late shift. Thanks for being interested in my life."

The door slammed and Spencer squeezed her eyes closed. She felt a hand cover her upper arm and she quickly held onto it, leaning further back into him. Glen had come in late and heard his parents arguing in the kitchen, he quickly made his way upstairs and found that Clay was out, probably with Chelsea. He walked into Spencer's room and as he had expected, she was picking at her teddy and trying to keep her tears down. Silently he made his way to his sister and sat next to her on the bed, she had shifted into his embrace and he had held her like he had done the first time there was a storm and she was scared.

"It's okay, Spencer." She nodded against his chest and he closed his eyes. On the nights that Spencer was out and their parents argued he would always leave, usually with Clay. The siblings had a tight bond; they always had, even with the addition of the young, scared, black boy.

Clay was the brains of the three, he would always tell them that it was better to own up to the crime rather than get the play station taken away a few weeks later when they got caught.

Glen protected them both; he had fought the racists at his old school and the homophobes in his old town. Not that Spencer, nor his parents, knew that. To be fair, he was unsure why Spencer was even dating Aiden but he had an idea that his baby sister was simply still confused. Her relationship back home never really had a chance to develop and she didn't get the answers she needed, so he left it. She would find her own path when the time came.

Spencer was the baby of the three, but fiercely loyal. Glen remembered when he had taken some cokes from the fridge for him and Spencer, before Clay had joined them, and they had gotten caught. Glen had taken the blame, but Spencer made sure to tell her parents that she had asked for the coke and had annoyed Glen until he had gotten them. Not entirely true, but the blonde girl never understood why Glen got done when she had coke lingering on her lips too.

"I don't want it to be okay. I want it to be back to normal, like it was in Ohio." She yawned against him and sniffled a little, angry at herself for still getting upset over it.

"I know, but we've moved and things change Spence." She lent back and Glen looked at her. "You look like shit."

"You look worse. No, sorry, you look normal." He pushed her lightly but was secretly proud of making her smile. Sure, she annoyed the hell out him 85 percent of the time but she was still his little sister.

"You're such a bitch."

"And you're an ass. Some things will never change." She took a deep breath, happy now that the tears had stopped and she was no longer crying over the familiar sound of her parents arguing.

"No, I'm still your brother and so is Clay. No matter what happens with mom and dad." He rubbed her arm and she yawned in return. "Go to sleep, you need to catch up on that beauty crap that all the girls are talking about." She hit him but complied with what he asked, shifting under her covers and reaching for the light.

"Night Glen." He moved off of the bed and began to walk to his own room. "And...You know..."

"You're welcome." He shut the door and shook his head. Quietly he made his way downstairs, wanting to get the bottle of water he always had at the side of his bed and maybe a sandwich for later. He walked into the kitchen and saw his dad at the table, a glass of whiskey in one hand and the bottle in the other.

"Glen, you should be in bed. It's late."

"It's a Saturday night." He walked to the fridge and took out the bottle of water he was craving, deciding to skip on making a short snack in lieu of having to spend more time with his depressed father.

"Oh." Glen looked over at his dad. The once forever smiling man, with his shining eyes and glossy hair was now half of that. He was tired and had lost some weight.

"If you and mom divorce we won't be mad at you."

"Glen, me and your mom -"

"Are just going through a rough patch; yeah, I know. You've been having it ever since we came to LA." He shook his head and began to walk out of the kitchen, already turning the cap on his drink to take a little and clear his throat. It always became dry when he comforted his sister and knowing that someone had made her cry.

"We're not getting a divorce, son." Arthur called out to him, causing the blonde teenager to stop at the foot of the stairs.

"You should." He walked back into the kitchen and poked his head around the door. "And just so you know, Clay got a 97, not a 98. I'm not playing any team, I played the Tigers a few days ago and Spencer's best class is English. Not history." With that he turned around and walked up to his bedroom.

---

Spencer practically flew out of the door and into Ashley's Porsche in record time the following morning. She knew her dad would try and apologize for last night, and Glen wouldn't rise until at least half past one. She had briefly wondered where Clay was until she had gotten a text from his girlfriend informing her that her brothers taste in films, sucked.

"Hi to you too, blondie." Ashley stared at her bemused by the flurry of energy that was Spencer Carlin. "Where's the fire?"

"Can you just drive please?" Instead of protesting, Ashley simply shrugged and put the car into drive. She had sensed a tone in the girls' voice and didn't want to challenge it, she might have been in a few fights but she was sure the Carlin girl would take her down a few pegs.

"Where to Mademoiselle?"

"You phoned me, Ash." Spencer stared at the girl in bewilderment. Two hours earlier the brunette had called, in full dramatic form, telling her how the place she was supposed to be working at was fining her for not complying to the services that were set out for her. Then going on to ask if she wanted to hang out.

"Oh...My place?" The blonde nodded and tapped her feet to the song on the radio. "So, have you asked if you can come to the restaurant next week?"

"I'll be there."

"Good, Kyla and Taylor will be there. You wont be alone and you can order drinks on my tab if you want, I know Kyla will." She rolled her eyes at the thought, but she only drank water when she was singing and someone needed to use it. Her cousin happily accepted once she knew her mother would be looked after.

"Cool."

"Is anything wrong? You seem a bit quiet." Ashley glanced over and looked at the blonde, noticing how her top fit a little too well.

"I was up late, I'm a little tired."

"Sorry for dragging you out, then." She skipped a few songs on her CD and stopped on one of her favorites'.

"No you're not." Spencer smiled as she spoke and watched as a ghost of one crept onto Ashley's face.

"No. I'm not."

---

**Mom and dad fighting again. It was best you didnt come home bro, Spence was upset. Glen.**

Clay sighed at the text and closed his phone, waiting for Chelsea to emerge from the bathroom again. He was sick of listening to the high voice of his mother and the frustrated growl of his father while he was at home.

"What's wrong, baby?" Chelsea settled herself onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Do you have to go home?" She looked around the room and surveyed the scattered clothes and smiled at the sound of music in the background. She was covered by Clay's large shirt, and hoped the memories of the night before, with the shirt, would entice the gentle man to stay.

"No, but apparently my mom and dad were arguing again."

"I'm sorry." She leant forward and claimed her boyfriend's lips, tasting the coffee he had made that morning and feeling him relax in her caring embrace. "Do you know what about this time?"

"No, probably the same though. Glen told me it was best I wasn't at home." He shifted and made himself comfortable, knowing Chelsea wasn't likely to be budging any time soon. "Spencer was upset with it again."

"She hates it when they fight."

"I know." He placed his hands on her exposed thighs and flexed his fingers. "Chels, what if they break up? I don't want to be thrown out of another family."

"Clay, baby, don't be so silly. They wouldn't do something like throw you out. And breaking up? Come on, both you and Glen has said it would be for the best." She stroked his neck with her thumbs; something she knew would calm him down and smiled at him. "Don't think about it today. My parents are out until tomorrow, so lets make the most of our time, okay?"

Without further words he smiled and leant up catching her lips and easing himself backwards onto the bed; bringing her gently on top of himself. Clay was sure that this was the calm before the storm, but he was willing to sail it with Chelsea.

---

**Hope u r ok today. Glen.**

Spencer smiled and quickly text her brother that she was fine, he was unbelievably amazing sometimes.

"So we have Pirates 1, 2 and 3. X-Men 1, 2 and 3. Spiderman 1, 2 and 3. Those are the only trilogies I own, I think. Oh and Alien, but I assumed you didn't enjoy aliens running around with Sigourney Weaver." Ashley came back into the room, carrying a large bowl of popcorn, a bottle of Pepsi and 9 DVDS. The sight would have been funny if it wasn't for the fact she was balancing it all with her two hands and it was quite impressive. Spencer got up and took the popcorn and large drink from her friend, and made her way back to the couch.

"Pirates has Johnny Depp in." She suggested as she took a nibble of the popcorn.

"And Kiera Knightley." Ashley pointed out as she put the discs onto the table in front of them.

"You know they paint her boobs on in that film, right?" Ashley simply shrugged and popped some of the popcorn into her mouth. "X-Men has a cool plotline and…Hugh Jackman." She winced at the name.

"Spiderman?"

"Kirsten Dunst?" Ashley smiled at her attempt of finding a decent looking man in the plotline, but settled for the red-head. "Which do you wanna watch?"

"Pirates of the Caribbean, obviously. The only decent choice." The brunette lunged across the table and practically thrust the small disk into the DVD player, selecting the right mode and settling back into the couch.

"Nice choice."

The girls gradually got into the film, and gradually closer to one another, close enough for Ashley to hear the shallow breaths of Spencer and for Spencer to feel the Goosebumps on Ashley's arm. The two were so engrossed that Ashley failed to notice the small tear in Spencer eye, until she turned to ask for the fizzy drink she had brought.

"Hey, what's up Carlin?" The blonde quickly swiped at her eye and shook her head. "Don't lie to me. Not in front of Johnny Depp and his sword."

"It's nothing. I told you, I had a late night."

"That makes you leak little tears?"

"No." Her voice cracked.

"Then what?"

"Ashley, please leave it." She sighed when the brunette simply pressed pause at a very awful picture, which had Johnny Depp looking close to orgasm on the screen. Her chest was tight and she knew she was getting worked up.

"Tell me. I thought we were friends; let me help."

"It's nothing. Just my parents arguing again." And just like that the blonde felt herself wanting to cry. "Just - It's nothing..." The first in a long line of tears began to fall down her perfect cheeks, and she struggled to remain calm. "It's fine..." She sniffed once, and then let herself cry, hating that she couldn't hold it in.

Ashley for the moment looked shocked. The girl had been fine a few moments ago as she watched pirates kick some ass, but now she was flinging herself across the couch in an attempt to hide her mascara coated tears.

Quickly the brunette wrapped her friend into a warm embrace, letting the girl hold her back in her own time and finding that it didn't take long for slender arms to wrap around her figure. She almost died at the contact but thoroughly hid it away, because now was not the time to be getting like that. She was simply comforting her friend.

The same friend she had been thinking about kissing for the past week.

The same friend she wanted to hold for those precious minutes after what would be acceptable for friends to do so.

The same friend she had been dreaming about since two days prior to their almost kiss.

"I'm so sorry." Spencer hiccupped against her chest and pulled away to find tear tracks on a blue shirt. "God, I'm such a baby."

"It's fine. You're a girl; you're entitled to a cry now and again." With the pads of her thumbs she swiftly wiped away the black lines of the blondes face and kissed her cheek lightly, a bold move to say how hard she was falling.

"It's so stupid though."

"No, it's not. I mean, I can't really talk; I haven't cried in what feels like forever. But I know it's hard when your parents fight." Spencer tilted her head but didn't speak, knowing Ashley Davies didn't open up when forced. "I started to think they didn't know how to speak in hushed voices."

"I know that feeling. When they aren't arguing they're giving one another the silent treatment. I wish they'd get over it or get a divorce." Tears welled at the last word and Ashley was quick to comfort her friend again.

"It might not come to that."

"I hope not." She let out a long sigh and shifted to face Ashley again. "Thanks for -- this."

Ashley, who was too focused on the soft lips of her friend to notice what had been said, simply hummed an answer and continued to let her eyes dart over the face in front of her. It was all so wrong, and so much drama would come of it, but Ashley knew that and it didn't make her want to stop any less.

"Spencer..." She let the barriers slide a little as she leant in. "I shouldn't - You're too beautiful to cry, you know that?" She was whispering now and getting lost in those cloudy, blue eyes. The other girl blushed but didn't protest at the close proximity, if anything she moved closer.

"Thanks." She let out a long breath. "Maybe I should go."

"Why?" Long fingers touched her knee and Spencer quickly forgot her reason.

"I don't know."

There was no tension, like in the movies.

There was no drama, like in the stories.

There were no soothing words, like on television.

Their lips simply connected halfway towards one another and they lost themselves before they could regain anything. Spencer was bolder than what Ashley had first thought, but her tongue was tentative as it asked for permission to enter, which was greatly given by the brunette.

Fingers dove into silky hair and hands grasped onto something to hold onto. It was neither rough nor gentle, but it was broken when Spencer felt herself being pushed back. Eyes searched and lips parted, before they found one another again.

Ashley was addicted and Spencer was finding it harder to grab onto some sort of control. She was being taken by Ashley's lips, and tongue and teeth and she found she never wanted to fight back. Lips began to bruise and they slowed it down, sometimes missing the target but eliciting harsher breaths when exposed skin was kissed.

They broke apart, for air, for the chance to figure out what the hell had just happened and to lose themselves in darkened eyes once more.

"I'm sorry." Spencer gasped, but her voice was betraying her.

"I'm not." Ashley licked her lips and almost laughed out loud at the distant cherry flavor.

"What about Aiden?"

"What about us?"

---

"Son of a -" Ashley hopped around in the darkened room as she felt the stabbing pain of stubbing her toe on her bed. "Fucking, ouch!" Why hadn't she turned on a light? The annoying ringing of her phone at the otherside of her room had her mumbling more curses. She had just gotten home after dropping Spencer home and her heart was still racing.

She picked up the vibrating object and felt sick as "Best Aiden Ever" flashed on her screen. She flicked the phone open and casually put the device to her ear.

"Hey what are you -"

"You kissed my fucking girlfriend?!"

_Oh shit. _


	16. Someday Soon

**So, this is a little different to the style of writing the past few chapters have been; but it fit into the way we wanted the chapter to go. Again, we pushed it forward and it seems a little rushed but - teenage life, huh?**

**If you don't like it, please tell us in a review. **

**I'm watching Fight Club as I write this at the moment and it's the car scene, so sorry if this AN seems a little distracted, lol. **

**Anyway, just want to thank you all for the reviews. I highly doubted I would have 140 reviews by the 15****th**** chapter, considering this is amateur writing. **

**Thanks, anyway on with the story**

* * *

They lay together on Ashley's bed. Neither of them had spoken for over half an hour; the only words passed between them were cordial hellos when the brunette found Spencer in front of her TV. They stayed far away from one another, yet still managed to lie on their backs, and refused to touch at all.

Two days had passed since the kiss, the phone call from Aiden and the inevitable confrontation. Ashley had spent the day before with her aunt, talking about the past, and Spencer had impressed Madison by asking for an extra cheerleading practice.

"You told him." It wasn't said in any tone, which made Spencer that little bit more nervous.

"Yeah, I did." She made sure her voice held no tone either. She failed, badly.

"Why?"

---

"_Hey, baby. What are you doing phoning me up so late?" Aidens voice filled Spencer's guilty ears and she almost collapsed on the spot from the sheer intensity of it. _

"_It's not that late." She had literally just walked through the door and if she looked out of the window, she was sure she would be able to see Ashley's tail lights still disappearing. "Do you mind?"_

"_Of course not; I've missed hearing your voice. Have you been busy?" _

"_Aiden, I have to talk to you." She choked on her own saliva. She felt it building it with the guilt; it started in her clenching stomach and went past her tight chest into her throbbing head. _

_She had kissed Ashley whilst she was with Aiden, and she wanted to do it again. _

_Cheating was wrong. _

"_That doesn't sound good." He chuckled, blissfully unaware of what Spencer was about to say. Aiden was a good guy, he never did any wrong, or so it seemed, he treated her right and he would send her a text for her to wake up to; proclaiming how much he missed her. _

"_It's…not." _

"_Spencer, if Ashley has gotten into trouble I don't mind." He laughed a little again and she heard rustling as though he was getting comfy. "I was joking when I said you had to look after her." _

"_Aiden, I'm sorry." _

"_You sound sad. What happened?" _

"_Me and Ashley…" Her heart was beating faster and she chewed on her lip, distantly she heard Aiden murmur something so she would continue. "We kissed."_

---

"Cheatings wrong." Neither girl shifted, their voices didn't raise and they continued to lie on the comfortable bed.

"It was just a kiss." Ashley popped her gum loudly.

"I want to do it again." She confirmed and tried not to mention that people popping their gum annoyed her.

"I do too." She sounded vulnerable and Spencer wasn't sure if she liked this side of Ashley; that changed as soon as Ashley linked their little fingers.

"Cheatings wrong."

---

"_You kissed Ashley? Have you…did you…Spencer?" He was confused and Spencer fell onto her bed, the small teddy that was propped on her pillow tipped onto its side. _

"_I know, Aiden, God I know and I'm so sorry."_

_There was a long silence and Spencer thought that maybe Aiden had hung up the phone; it wouldn't have been surprising because if the positions were reversed she would have done the same._

"_Aid –"_

"_Why? Why did she kiss you?" _

"_She kissed me? It's not like she forced herself onto me, Aiden."_

"_Oh."_

"_It wasn't supposed to be like this, you know? I really like you."_

"_I guess this is it, huh?" _

"_I wish I knew what to say." She really did because the pounding of her heart and the ticking of her clock was beginning to get to her._

"_I could have fallen in love with you, Spencer." Then, the line went dead. _

---

"Aiden was really upset when he phoned me last night." Ashley cringed at the memory, knowing that the hurt in her best friends' voice was not faked.

"I know."

"I told you once that if you ever hurt him I would make you regret it." She popped her gum again but made no move to sit up, or be intimidating at all.

"I know."

"Spencer, I don't know what to do."

"I'm sorry."

---

"_My best friend and my girlfriend, do you know how pathetic that is?" Aiden was shouting down the phone now and Ashley was torn between crying and shouting back._

"_Aiden, it wasn't planned. It wasn't like I set a date in my diary and said to myself 'oh hey, Aiden has gone out of town for 2 weeks how about I throw myself at his girlfriend.' I didn't want to do it." She paused at stared out of her window at the flashing lights of LA that held everyone's secrets._

"_Then why did you?" _

"_I don't know. Spencer is just – she's…" She trailed off, because the end result of that sentence could ruin any chances of this conversation turning out well._

"_Why do you always want something that's mine? Every fucking time Ashley." She was convinced he was holding back tears and her chest constricted. _

"_What do you mean?" _

"_My parents acceptance; they're my fucking parents and they accepted you being gay quicker than they accepted me wanting to go to college and do sports."_

"_But that isn't –" _

"_The second I started hanging out with Kyla when we were younger; you made sure to always be there."_

"_That was different I was looking out for the both of you."_

"_We don't need looking out for, Ashley!" She winced at how loud he was shouting. "Madison. For fuck sake, Madison Duarte came back into my life and you wanted it."_

"_No I didn't."_

"_You kissed her at a party when I was downstairs. You took her upstairs and made sure that by the end of the week it was over between the two of us."_

"_We were drunk."_

"_But you could have fucking stopped it! You were sober enough to walk away from me, and her. You were perfectly fine when you told Kyla you wanted to go home." He was rushing his words together and obviously trying to hold it together. _

"_Aiden, I never meant for the Madison thing to happen. I mean, honestly, I hate her."_

"_Exactly but because I had her you just had to get in there too. You're poison Ashley, and you'll never change. I should have listened to Madison when she said you would just end up hurting me."_

_Tears began to fall down Ashley's face just as quickly as reality was flying out of her grasp. She was loosing Aiden because of a stupid moment of weakness._

"_I don't want to lose you Aiden, please." She felt dizzy. "I can't lose another person."_

"_Do you want Spencer?"_

"_I don't know. Maybe, I think so." She leant her head on the glass pane and waited for Aiden to say something._

"_I don't want to lose you, either. You're like my sister, for God sake but you've really hurt me this time Ashley." He sighed and she could almost see his eyes close. _

"_Aiden, God please don't let me lose you. I'm a fuck up, but I love you and I –"_

"_If you loved me you would stop hurting me."_

"_I know – I'm so, so, sorry." _

"_I'm coming back soon." He sounded sad about returning, and Ashley closed her eyes. "I can't see you with her. I was falling so fast for her."_

_Reality sunk in for Ashley in that moment. She hadn't considered once that Aiden would actually fall for Spencer, because Aiden didn't do stuff like that. Aiden treated girls well, he was a perfect gentleman but he got bored easily and moved onto the next girl. He and Ashley were the same in that sense, he just held onto a girl longer than she could. _

"_It's me or Spencer, Ashley." He sounded determined._

"_You're asking me to choose?"_

"_Yeah." He scoffed. "Fifteen or so years of friendship, or a single kiss you shared with a taken girl." She could see him shaking his head. "Which one of those sounds the simple choice?"_

"_What if I'm falling for Spencer, too?"_

"_I never ask you to do anything, Ashley." During the whole conversation he had called her by her first name, and he would usually, at least once, throw in a nickname. _

"_I know."_

"_I'll be back soon." He put the phone down without another word. _

---

"He asked me to choose between the two of you." The brunette sighed and she plucked the gum out of her mouth and discarded it into the bin next to her bed. Spencer swallowed hard, it had been such a short time and she knew that but she still felt that intensity between her and Ashley.

"Oh, really, I guess that isn't too – you know." She was at a loss for what to say.

"He could have said something worse."

"So, does this mean I should leave?" In all honesty, she didn't want to. She wanted to lie on the comfortable bed with Ashley, linking fingers and staring at the ceiling for the rest of her life. Kissing her was just an added bonus, but the simple company of Ashley was more than she could want in any setting.

"I don't know."

"Ashley…"

---

"_I kissed Spencer and I don't know what to do." Ashley mumbled into her pillow as mother and daughter simultantiously looked away from Jerry Springer and to the brunette on the end of the bed. _

"_Aidens Spencer?" She nodded. "Spencer, that girl, who is totally straight?" She shook her head. _

"_She's…in the middle. I don't know." She caught herself, knowing Spencer didn't want anybody to know what happened in Ohio. _

"_What happened, dear?" Julie asked, taking a generous handful of Pringles. _

"_She and Aiden split up, Aiden phoned me up shouting at me and I've been avoiding her since yesterday." She flipped herself over onto her back and stared at identical eyes. _

"_Real mature Ashley." Kyla muttered, before breaking out into a shit eating grin and focusing in on her mother. "Told you she had it bad for Spencer." _

"_Not the time, Kyla." Her mother chastised. "But, you were right."_

"_Julie!" Ashley wiggled her hands in the air. "What am I going to do?"_

"_Do you like her?" Her aunt asked gently, stroking her girls arm and narrowing her eyes at her daughter who was reaching for more Pringles._

"_Sort of, but Aiden said I had to choose. Him or Spencer, and I think he wants me to have decided for when he gets back."_

"_You can't throw away your friendship for a girl you have known for two minutes, Ash." Kyla said, before munching on a chip and checking to see if her toe varnish was dry. _

"_Ky's right, you and Aiden are the best of friends and it sounds like he's willing to forgive you if you show him what your friendship means to him."_

"_But Spencer…I like her."_

"_You gotta choose, Ashy." She hated that name, but when her aunt said it, things sounded a little better._

---

"I have to do something, Spence. Maybe you should go." Ashley sat up and looked at the blonde, who, to her dismay, looked a little disappointed.

"Oh, okay…" She too sat up and began to put her shoes on.

"Will be okay for getting home? I can drive you if you want." Her voice was quiet as she watched the girl look around for her jacket and followed her movements as she put it on.

"No, I'll phone Glen to come and pick me up or something." She walked towards the bedroom door and stopped when she felt Ashley's hand on her arm.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you at school." Without thinking she placed a gentle kiss onto Ashley's cheek and walked out of the room.

Ashley took a deep breath and walked to her bed. She sat down and opened the drawer underneath, taking out a pad and a pen, that she used to write lyrics in, and began to write a note.

An hour later, she had two notes, one to Spencer and one to Aiden. In each she said why she couldn't see them anymore and she softly sealed them into envelopes.

Now she had until Aiden got back to decide who she was going to send the letter to.


	17. Things I'll Never Say

Glen wandered around the house in a bored daze. He had already eaten two pop-tarts, watched several music channels, annoyed Spencer and ignored his homework by staring at it for an hour. Now he was bored. Madison had just gone home after spending the night; something she could do often now that his mom and dad hardly raised an eyebrow at the thought.

"I'm going to Ashley's tonight. Thanks for taking me." Spencer walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch, after throwing her school bag into the hall and briefly wondering if Glen had eaten all the pop-tarts.

"When did I agree to it?"

"You know I'll win." That was true. "Why weren't you at school today? Come to think of it. Neither was Madison." Glen sported one mighty looking grin and for a moment Spencer looked completely horrified. "Oh, you're disgusting!"

"Like you wouldn't do the same thing with Aiden." He teased, stealing the remote from the table and turning to some fake wrestling show. The guy with long black hair was currently letting the shorter guy sniff his armpit and Spencer's nose wrinkled. Wrestling was gross.

"Actually..." _I broke up with Aiden because I'm into his best friend, who I kissed, and want to kiss again but I can't because he wants her to choose between us and I'm too cowardly to fight for her. _"We're not together anymore."

Much to Spencer's annoyance Glen didn't even look up at her statement. He grunted a little and laughed at the small guy being thrown over the ropes and onto the commentator's box. It wasn't that obvious was it? That she didn't like him.

"Who broke up with who?"

"Whom...And I broke up with him." She tilted her head at the sight of two very butch women running out and groping the, apparent, winner. They whooped and cheered and the tight Lycra was straining against their muscles. Correction; women who had bigger muscles than their boyfriends are gross.

"So I don't have to break his pretty boy features for hurting you?" Spencer shook her head and concealed a smile. Glen and Aiden had never really liked one another but were civil for the sake of Spencer. The truth was, Aiden hated that someone could match his ability in basketball and threatened his scholarship. Luckily, Glen had a small bit of sense, along with a clever brother and a dad who was a social worker who gave him words of advice, and decided he wanted to go into coaching rather than try and go professional.

"Nope."

"Is this because of Ashley?" Spencer's breath hitched and she turned to her brother, who was still enthralled by the show he was watching, which was currently showing some guy with a red mask on running into the crowd and scaring the shit out of a little kid.

"No, why would it be?" She tried to look back at the television, but there was only so much sweat, steroids and Lycra a girl could stand when being asked about the person she liked.

"I don't know. I just thought you liked her."

"As a friend."

"As more." He finally got bored of the shouting, hairy men and turned over; grinning when he found it was hockey. "You can tell me you know. I didn't tell anyone about the girl in Ohio. So, why would I tell anyone about the girl in LA?"

"There is no girl in LA." Spencer turned back to the TV in time to see some guy in black being pushed into the barrier. What was it with guys feeling the need to beat the crap out of one another for sport?

"Whatever you say, Spence. You can't hide who you are forever you know." He winced at the sight of blood on the ice but tried to not let it show.

"What if I'm not ready yet? If mom finds out I like...girls. She'll ship me off to some nunnery and burn Ashley's house down with holy water." Lifting her left hand up she began biting her nails, a habit she picked up on the week she was grounded for spending time with "_that girl"_ back home.

"So, you do like Ashley."

"No."

"So why, of all the lesbians in LA, did you choose her house for mom to burn down?" Spencer shrugged and internally hated that Glen had picked up their dads sense of reasoning. Unfortunately, he had picked up their mothers short anger fuse; that was never good.

"She's the only one I know."

"You like her. And how do you know if you're ready or not if you don't give it a shot?" The team in light blue scored and it bothered Glen a little that he didn't know who was playing. Hockey was never his highlight. Basketball? That was where he shone. Football? He could name you all the teams. Hockey? Not a chance; but it looked cool.

"It's complicated. Can we leave it now?" Spencer had practically drawn blood on her thumb nail and her brother finally looked over to see she was bothered by it. The two remained in silence for a little while as a player body slammed another.

"I'm not driving you to Ashley's."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Ass."

---

"So what? I'll come and pick you up. Madison's house is, like, ten miles away from mine or something. I doubt your brother will go that far out of his way for you." Ashley shook her head at Kyla who held up a red top. The phone was pressed tightly against her ear as she talked to Spencer, whilst picking out clothes for that night with Kyla.

_"But, then I'll be putting you out of your way."_

"Shut up, Carlin. I like you so I'll do it, plus my mom has just bought me a new car and you have to see it." She tried not to laugh as Kyla practically had a heart attack over a skirt.

_"A car? Your mom bought you a car?"_

"Mmmhm. She said that the BMW was a little old and told me I could choose another one. Everything in my moms' life has to be in style so she bought another for me, because God forbid the neighbours see a two year old car in the driveway."

_"I'm lucky if my mom buys me dinner at a restaurant." _

"That's what you have me for." Ashley bit her lip and tried to ignore the soft smile Kyla sent her. Her cousin knew about how she was confused between Spencer and Aiden, and though she said Aiden had been there longer she couldn't deny the effect the blonde had on the older girl. "Anyway, what time will you be ready? Seven? Perfect time, Carlin." She smiled as Spencer laughed a little.

_"Seven is fine, Ashley." She paused for a second or two and Ashley heard her take in a deep breath. "Can we - uh...you know...talk?" _

"That's what we're doing now, right?" Ashley's eyes widened and Kyla instantly knew what she had been asked. She signaled she would go and pay for the items she had already picked up, and also took Ashley's, knowing it would give her cousin space.

_"No, about...other stuff."_

"If you can't say what it is we need to talk about then we're not ready to talk about it." The brunette closed her eyes at how lame she sounded and watched her cousin take out a credit card, and briefly wondered if the thing ever maxed out.

_"This isn't like 'if you can't buy a condom without giggling you're not ready to have sex' Ashley, this is serious." _

"I'll pick you up at seven. We can talk then, okay?"

_"Sure...What about Kyla?"_

"I'll sort her out, Carlin. Don't you worry about a thing, okay?"

---

Kyla looked at Taylor, then at Ashley, then back at Taylor again. Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms over the white top she had just bought, along with skirt and shoes. Ashley smiled sheepishly and Taylor, the poor girl, looked simply confused.

"Why do I have to ride with Miss. Racey McSpeedsalot?" Kyla questioned, before flinching as she felt the back of Taylor's hand connect with her arm.

"What's that meant to mean?" She sounded offended but was still focused enough to make sure that Ashley didn't slink away unnoticed, without the interrogation at the front door. The plan was, they would all meet at Ashley's house and pick Spencer up on the way. Ashley had changed that as soon as Taylor stepped a 3 inch heeled foot into the foyer.

"It means speed limits are in place for a reason."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"You're a menace on the road. How did you ever get your license?" Kyla scoffed, knowing she would end up riding with the girl anyway.

"I didn't." She smirked, before looking at Ashley and waiting for an explanation.

"What the hell do you mean you didn't?" The poor girl was beside herself and began to fan at her face with her hand, the bangles on her arm clanking together rather dramatically.

"I kid. I kid." Taylor soothed the girl and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I've just gotten it back." She smiled brightly as Kyla threw her hands up.

"When I die, Ashley Davies, you are so paying for my funeral." She stomped out of the house as fast as her Blahnik's would let her and got into the Lamborghini in the driveway. A present from Taylor's granddad.

"So, why am I taking the next Audrey Hepburn to this place?" Taylor questioned, tilting a perfect eyebrow upwards and pursing her lips. She was unbelievably gorgeous and Ashley stalled for a moment as she took in the girl in front of her. She had been there, moved on and found another beautiful girl; but it didn't harm anyone just to look.

"I'm picking up Spencer."

"Spencer, huh? Since when do you use her real name?" She clicked her tongue, a prime piece of evidence that the girl was, in fact, irrationally jealous.

"I don't always. Variety is the spice of life and all that, James."

"Don't ever use my last name again." She tilted her head back which released a few curls to tickle her shoulders, captivating Ashley and giving her reason to stare at her neck. "So, what's so special about Spencer that she has to be picked up by you, and you alone?"

"We have to talk." Ashley shifted and blinked quickly, becoming aware of just how much eyeliner she had put on and how dark her eyes must seem.

"What about?" Taylor knew Ashley was never a great liar, especially to her, and waited for the girl to answer. Unsure if she actually wanted to hear it.

Ashley opened her mouth to talk, Taylor was the girl she could always confide in away from Kyla and Aiden was out of the question in this situation. She ran her tongue over her flavored lips and re-opened her mouth, this time knowing what to say, but was rudely interrupted by a loud horn going off.

"God damn. You two either need to make out of get a move on, time dosen't stop you know!" Kyla leant out of the tinted windows, undoubtedly waking someone in the neighborhood who did a night shift.

---

"Ashley is here. Don't know what time I will be home but I'll phone!" Spencer almost pulled the doors off of the hinges as she walked outside, knowing her father was at the table doing some work and her brothers simply didn't care as long as she phoned. The blonde was unsure where the other parent was, and was slightly miffed at the fact she didn't care.

She turned around and her jaw dropped quickly. There, outside her house, sat a sleek midnight blue Porsche Carrera Cabriolet. With an equally sleek Ashley grinning at her from behind the wheel, sunglasses in place and tapping her hands on the wheel to a tune she didn't know.

"My mom said it suited my personality, apparently she designed one for me and a Cayenne for her. Though, I'd prefer this in black but its close enough."

"Oh, my God." Spencer squealed as she walked quickly to car and running her hand across the dark blue exterior. "This is gorgeous. I thought your other car was amazing, but - wow."

"Get in, loser. I have to sing in two hours." She smiled as the blonde carefully sat in the black seat, watching as blue eyes sparkled. She began to drive, but the further away from the Carlin household they went the more the brunette became nervous. "So, the restaurant has a few rooms upstairs if the night goes on too late. Tay said we can crash there for a discount, is that okay?"

"How late might it go?"

"Depends. We know the owners so sometimes I stay a little later, but if you want to leave just tell me."

"Aww, you'd cut your night short just for me?" Spencer teased and watched Ashley's face for any reaction. It showed nothing and tension filled the car, enough to have Spencer wanting to ask if they can put the top down.

"Yeah, something like that." She slowed down at some lights and looked to Spencer. "So, what did you want to talk about?" The lights changed a little too quickly and Ashley was on her way again, restricted to glances at the blonde. Ten minutes passed before the girl spoke at all.

"Have you thought about...things? What Aiden asked of you?" She picked at her cuticles and leant her head against the window, watching the lights of LA fill the car for half a second before being washed away.

"I've known him so much longer than you, Carlin. It would be unfair of me to risk our friendship when I hardly know you." She pulled into a spot behind the restaurant, reserved only for her and saw Taylor's red car already parked up.

"I guess. I think I kind of like you though." Still, the blonde didn't look over to meet brown eyes and let her eyes scan over a car at the far end of the parking lot.

"I think I kind of like you too." Finally blue mixed with brown and both girls felt the pounding of their hearts still for only a second. "But, he's Aiden. My Aiden, my best friend, my brother. I can't just throw him away for something I don't even know will work."

"Look, Ashley I can't give you anything. I'm still confused if I like girls or not, my mother will hate you, I'm on a squad with a girl who hates you; I dated your best friend and then kissed you while I was with him. But, when it all comes down to it, I like you."

The two girls sat in silence and they both let Spencer's words take effect on them. Ashley tried to look for the good in a whole load of bad, whilst Spencer looked for a way to try and get Ashley to look at her again.

"I'm not usually like this, you know?" Spencer started once more. "I'm not forward or confident and I didn't have my first kiss until I was fourteen. I didn't enjoy a kiss until I was sixteen, and that was with a girl. You make me confident and forward and you make kissing seem less of a chore and more of an addiction."

"Spencer..."

"Aiden has had fifteen years to get you. Can you at least give me until he comes back? As a friend or whatever else." She moved her hand across and lay it gently over Ashley's, smiling when the girl automatically grabbed onto it.

"What if it gets harder to choose?" Ashley bit at her bottom lip and risked a glance at Spencer, who held her stare across the car.

"You'll know what you want by then, I promise." Spencer watched as Ashley lifted her hand and placed a small kiss onto the back of it, lingering for a moment and laying her cheek against it as she looked at the passenger.

"Okay." Ashley blinked once, then twice, before letting go of the soft hand and shooting the blonde a smile. "You look really nice."

"You won't win me over with cheap comments, you know?"

"I could have said you looked fuckable, but I didn't." Ashley grinned and got out of the car, cutting the intense atmosphere with the only thing she possessed. Bad humor. "Even if you do."

---

Spencer sipped at her cranberry juice and watched as Ashley belted out another song that had been requested. Up on the stage she looked at home, a guitar off to the side and a band behind her made her seem whole. She held the last note until it was physically impossible for her to continue and flashed the widest grin at the patrons she could muster. The blonde almost choked on her drink as Taylor and Kyla flew up from there chairs and began hollering and clapping like wild animals, causing a red stain to coat the cheeks of the singer.

She had heard Ashley was a good singer, but Spencer never really knew how good she was. Aiden had let her listen to a song Ashley had recorded about six months before she moved to LA and the blonde was taken aback, but live? So much better.

She had been on stage for about an hour and twenty minutes, or so and in that time she had ranged from rock to country and had managed to slow it down so far that some people actually cried. Spencer had been half captivated by the brunette, and deep in conversation with Kyla and Taylor about everything.

They had talked about Ashley when she was younger. Little Ashley who would run around the backyard like a bat out of hell with Aiden and Madison as Kyla made kissy faces at the boy. The girl who punched another girl fully in the nose when she dared to make fun of Kyla, for having to wear braces. The 10 year old who fell from a tree, broke two fingers and still managed to kick Aiden off of his bike because he laughed.

Spencer heard about how the cousins would spend all their holidays together, traveling from LA to Baltimore and vice versa and Ashley would sometimes drag Aiden along, which he always complained about. But, according to Taylor, Kyla's mom Julie knew that the boy was besotted by both of the beautiful girls, even at such an age.

The girls laughed over Aiden having a crush at such a young age, but knew that Aiden Dennison was to grow up and lead the life of being a woman magnet. Spencer saw the glint in Kyla's eyes as she talked about him and made a mental note to ask Ashley about it.

"Okay guys, I've officially been on stage ten minutes longer than I'm meant to have been. You need to stop requesting songs and keeping me up here!" Men whistled and women laughed a little at Ashley, but Spencer could see in her eyes she was being the tiniest bit serious. "I want to thank you all for listening, and I want to thank my moronic friends for practically breaking the tables with their cheering everytime I finished a song." She flew a smile over to the trio at the table. "Okay, so this is the last song. Enjoy."

As chords filled the room, Spencer thanked a waitress who was literally being paid to make sure Taylor James and her friends were enjoying themselves. What Ashley had failed to mention was that not only did Taylor work there, but her dads' new fiancée owned the damn place. It was fun knowing someone, who knew someone, who owned a five-star place.

"Spence? May I ask you a question, that could potentially insult you, but I'll ask anyway?" Kyla asked, before wrapping her lips around the black straw and sucking up her drink. Spencer crinkled her eyebrows but nodded anyway.

"If you're going to ask anyway you might aswell just do it." Taylor pointed out, playing with the cute umbrella that came with her pinkish coloured drink. "She dosen't think before she speaks." She told Spencer.

"Whatever." Kyla waved her off and looked at Spencer again. "Do you like Ashley and is she why you broke up with Aiden?" The umbrella fell out of Taylor's hand, Spencer put her glass down slowly and Ashley was reaching the climax of her song.

"Maybe that's not the perfect question, Ky." Taylor said softly, her mind reeling at the possibility the blonde in front of her stood more of a chance with Ashley than she did. Obviously, Ashley wanted nothing more than friendship with her and she was going to respect that. But damn, that stung.

"I -- Has Ashley spoken to you?"

"She said you kissed." Kyla said, her face was unreadable and Spencer momenterially panicked, only to be calmed by Kyla placing a small hand on her arm. "It's fine you know, if you like my cousin. But, you can't hurt Aiden in the process."

"I know, trust me, I know." Spencer licked her lips and leant back in her chair.

She couldn't get away from this situation because only ten minutes before Ashley was due on stage, a crash was reported on the freeway that they had to travel to go home. Plans were made for two rooms to be let out to the four girls, Kyla and Ashley in one while Taylor and Spencer took the other. The green light was given from her father, who told her how responsible she was for not driving home after that.

"What are you going to do?" Taylor asked, spinning the small chip of ice in her glass with the bottom of the umbrella. "And, no offence but I thought you were straight."

"So did I." She sighed and looked a little pained which caused both Kyla and Taylor to put their hands on her arm. "Nothing will come of it; I'm just hoping to spend some time with her before Aiden wants me out of both of their lives." She looked up to the tanned girl who was slowly coming down from the song, and already having people applauding her.

"Well I'm your friend and I don't want to get rid of you, screw Aiden." Kyla stated firmly, her mouth in a thin line.

"And I think you're quite cool, myself." Taylor smiled. Spencer took a deep breath, before smiling back and rising out of her seat to clap Ashley enthusiastically.

---

"Oh, my God!" Kyla screeched from inside her room. "The sheets are pink and everything!" She dove headfirst into the room, quickly followed by an enthusiastic Taylor. Whatever it was about pink set them off, and Ashley could never grasp what it was.

"So, did you like the show?" The brunette turned to Spencer as they stood outside the opposite room, hers and Taylor's room. "I mean, it wasn't huge and that band I've only played with once before. But still, what did you think?"

"You were amazing." Spencer gushed, leaning against the white door which held a gleaming gold "4" in the centre of it.

"Thank you." She licked her lips. "Do you mind staying here tonight? I would have taken you home, but the idea of driving and knowing there has been a crash dosen't seem all that clever." She too leant against the door, and smiled as Spencer shook her head bashfully.

"No. But remind me to pay you my share for the room."

"I won't." They both moved out of the way as Taylor and Kyla now moved their inspections into room 4, and continued to giggle at the fact that room also had pink bed sheets. Moments later Kyla ran out of the room, closing the door and shouting something about cable over her shoulder before disappearing into room 2, followed again by Taylor who was brandishing a TV Guide and muttering something about Smallville beats One Tree Hill.

"Why don't they just stay in one room?" Spencer asked as the door closed and giggling was heard from the other side, quickly followed by _"Clarke owns Nathan!" _

"They like to compare. We went on holiday once, when me and Tay were together, and Aiden came...It was chaos." She smiled at the memory of the four of them running across the halls comparing rooms and mini bars. More shouting was coming from behind the door as they distinctly heard Kyla shouting _"How the hell can you compare Brooke to Lana freaking Lang?" _

"Are they always this...?"

"Argumentative? Yeah, Aiden used to hate it." She ducked her head at the name and nodded to room 2. If she stayed here any longer, she knew she would say something she'd regret. Blood was still pumping through her veins at an alarming rate and her adrenaline was still high, even after a few hours. "We should go in there and break it up before Kyla bitch slaps Taylor for insulting Peyton." She began walking to the door when Spencer wrapped her fingers around her wrist.

"Don't go. We can go in here where it's quiet and talk, or something." She tugged a little on Ashley's arm, and the girl moved forward without argument. Spencer had wanted another moment alone with Ashley since they had gotten out of the car, and now was the perfect moment. The two were a lot closer than Spencer anticipated the tug to make them, but she didn't object.

"Talk?" Ashley leant forwards, already under the girls spell, and brushed her lips against her jaw. "Or something." She was whispering against soft skin, and yet Ashley felt like she was the only one who was shaking.

"Or something." Spencer echoed, tilting her head to the side and feeling Ashley's hot breath against her cheek. She was so close she almost felt Ashley lick her lips in anticipation, but was only rewarded by a gasp of air against her face as Kyla flung to door open on the opposite side of the hall.

"Spencer, Ashley, who is better Clarke Kent or...Lucas..." The brown eyed girl took in the intimate moment between the two girls. Taylor appeared behind her, all ready to go and fight Lucas' corner only to be faced with the image of Spencer and Ashley only now moving away from one another.

"Are we interrupting ladies?" Taylor teased lightly, hoping it would ease the tension. "We can come back in ten minutes."

"No, of course not." The two girls chorused and Taylor smiled at her success.

"Okay, good, well which show is better? Smallville or One Tree Hill?" She knew this was the distraction they needed by the pained confusion in both their eyes. "You know Smallville is the better show."

"God, it's about a guy who is strong. How exciting." Kyla moaned and walked back into the room. "He isn't even hot!"

Ashley rolled her eyes but decided to placate the two girls in the room, she turned to Spencer who was only now really coming down from her Ashley daze and silently asked her if it would be okay to join them. Spencer nodded and the two followed Taylor into the room.

Tomorrow would be another day. Another day closer to Aiden coming home, and becoming so close it was inevitable they could break apart.


	18. Never Let This Go

_Okay, so we have pushed it forward a little more - Just because of the crappy news that we've gotten. It's pathetic, if the-N wont give south the send off it deserves we should. _

_My opinion is that they wont change their minds; it's obvious they're doing to rile people up even further. But what they don't understand is, people are not campaigning for the SHOW per se, but the good that it has done. The L-Word is a start, but there isn't a 17 year old teenager on there struggling with feeling they dont understand._

_Or maybe there is; I don't watch it._

_Anyway, hope you like the update! _

_--_

Spencer watched amused as Ashley practically drooled all over the pink pillows on the bed. They had all fallen asleep in the same room the night before and Spencer had woken up on the couch, to find a note on the mirror from Taylor and Kyla.

**Our moms are bitches we had to go home. Call us; we wanna go Gray this weekend. Taylor paid for both rooms so you can both leave when you want.**

She watched as the brunette mumbled something in her sleep, before she turned onto her back and threw her arm over her eyes. She was obviously waking up but fighting it, Spencer had to admit, the large windows looked good but the light in the morning was a killer. She sipped at her coffee she had made from the free 'samples' next to the mirror and folded her legs beneath herself, before she could get too comfy though, her thigh began to vibrate. She took her phone out and answered it before the inevitable music came on and woke up the slumbering girl.

"Hello?" She kept her voice low and kept her eyes trained on Ashley.

_"Hey Spence." Her dad sounded cheery. He was always the happiest to wake up at some stupid time. "Are you okay?"_

"Mhmm. What's up?" Ashley began to move again, so the blonde stood up and took her call into the bathroom. 

_"Your mom is home for dinner tonight considering it's the weekend so I want you home for 5, okay sweetie?" _

Spencer paused. Oh hell..

It was Saturday, which meant Aiden was due to come home tomorrow. A large weight settled in Spencer's stomach.

How had the week passed so fast? She had had three cheer meetings, two homework assignments and her weekly phone call with her grandparents. One minute it was Saturday, and the next thing she knew it was a week later and she was waking up in a hotel room with Ashley. The singer was sending the younger girl into a backspin. 

_"Spencer?" _

"Oh, yeah sure dad. I'll be home."

_"Okay. Are you going to need a lift to the airport for Aiden tomorrow?" _

Spencer sat down. The only people who knew she wasn't with Aiden anymore were Ashley, her brother and Aiden. She didn't want to tell her father because he already had enough on his plate, Chelsea and Clay had an idea but she didn't confirm anything and her mother was absent. 

"I don't think so."

_"I thought you were meeting him." _

"I was, but now I'm not." At least she didn't think she was. They hadn't talked about it.

_"Why? Aw, honey, did you have an argument?" _

"Not exactly. We broke up." Her head snapped up when she heard Ashley shuffling around the room next to her, she looked out of the partially cracked door to see Ashley staring at the note on the mirror before making some sort of noise and reaching for a bottle of water on the dresser. 

_"I'm sorry to hear that. Are you okay?"_

"Perfect dad. It was for the best." Which it really, truly, was. She just hoped everything could be okay. "Look, I have to go. I'll see you at dinner, okay?"

_"Sure. I love you."_

"You too." She clicked her phone down and closed her eyes. Leaning her head back against the wall she thought about everything she had been through whilst Aiden had been away, and while he had been around, and wondered briefly if life had ever been this complicated in Ohio.

No. 

Ohio had opened her eyes a little but LA had given her the shock of her life. 

Spencer knew she was never "straight." Then again, she was still attracted to some guys; she just wanted girls more. 

She wanted Ashley more.

"What are you thinking about, Carlin?" Ashley's husky sleep-ridden voice caused blue eyes to snap up. She was leaning against the bathroom door, arms crossed and an amused sparkle in her eyes and playing on her lips. 

"You." 

"If I was thinking about myself I wouldn't have a frown like that on my face." She took a few steps into the room. "What's wrong?" 

"Aiden is coming home tomorrow." Spencer stood up and moved so she was in front of the brunette. Her eyes closed slowly as Ashley slowly moved a loose strip of hair behind her ear.

"I know. He asked me to pick him up." She let her hand drop and Spencer opened her eyes once more. 

"So - uh..What about, ah, us?" She looked away, a blush spreading over her face and down her neck at an alarmingly fast rate. She was more forward last night, but as Spencer had said she wasn't always like that and she could slip back into her old habits quickly.

"He's my friend, Spencer." Both swallowed hard and the blonde nodded. "But, it dosen't stop me from wanting to kiss you." Brown eyes met blue and Ashley let a small smile grace her features. "I know I shouldn't, but -" She chuckled a little and ran a thumb across Spencer's left eyebrow. "I can't figure you out, Carlin." 

"Say my name."

"What?" Ashley was a little put off by the tone of Spencer's voice and went to move her hand away, finding she couldn't when long fingers surrounded her wrist. An action much like the night before.

"I want to hear you say my name." The brunette smiled and took a step closer to the young girl.

"Spencer." They shivered at the sensation of the name on her tongue and the close distance between their mouths. "I shouldn't want you. Not when Aiden is coming home tomorrow." 

"Well..quot; She continued to stroke the inside of Ashley's wrist with her thumb, causing ripples of pleasure to course through the brunette's veins. "How about we just pretend he isn't and not think about him today?"

The two stood in silence for a long moment, soaking in what Spencer had suggested and trying to get a grip on how fast everything was flying past them. After a while Ashley leant forward and kissed the very corner of Spencer's lips, smiling when the blonde moved her head in an attempt to capture her mouth with hers.

"I think today is just about us."

--

"10 things I hate about you?" Spencer sat cross legged on Ashley's floor as she searched through her DVD's. 

"It's a good film." The singer shrugged and popped some more chocolate into her mouth. "It's so weird that Heath Ledger is in that but he's dead now." 

"I know." She licked her lips and stood up, holding the DVD case in her hand. "I want to watch this one." Ashley simply nodded and watched as Spencer put the disc into the player and wandered back over to the bed. She stood awkwardly at the side, before Ashley groaned and pulled her down next to her. 

"You shouldn't pull girls around." Spencer scolded lightly, her insides still trying to slow down from the action. The tanned girl let her brown eyes settle on Spencer's face before smiling a little and shrugging, quickly turning her attention back to the TV.

"You love it really."

--

Spencer smiled at the couple on the screen as they paddled around a lake, chatting casually and laughing with one another. She wished things could be that simple in real life, where you could just go out and get the person you wanted and there wasn't something in the way.

Because there was always something. Whether it was you used to date their best friend, and fell for the person when you were with them - or something smaller. It could be anything and Spencer hated barriers that stopped life taking a smooth course.

"You're thinking again." Ashley put a hand on her arm and turned her body to her, studying her with inquisitive eyes. "Want to tell me what's going on in that mind of yours?" 

"Not really." She glanced at the clock and saw it was only 3:50, she had to start thinking about going home soon, but here on Ashley's bed, with their bodies touching; she couldn't think much past kissing her. She caught the hurt look that passed Ashley's features. 

"Okay."

"It's nothing to do with you. I know I can talk to you about things, Ash." She settled a little further back into the pillows, the movement causing Ashley's front to press into her side and the only natural position the brunettes arm could land was hooking around her head, or neck. Which she did in one smooth action, her arm took position behind her head while her fingers played with the tip of the blondes ear.

"Good, 'cause I make listening look good."

"Keep telling yourself that. One day it might come true." Ashley's eyes flashed with amusement which caused Spencer's heart to jump a little. 

"I tell it myself every morning." 

"Maybe wishes don't always come true then." Spencer told her, a little disappointment in her voice. Ashley picked up on what else that could allude to, and though Spencer shifted so they could move apart a little; Ashley stayed where she was.

"When Aiden comes back I don't want to lose you, Spencer." Her voice was low and her heart race was picking up each second. The blonde bit her bottom lip but didn't let her gaze wander from Ashley's, she was lost in the gold flecks. 

"We can be friends." With a shaking movement, she placed a tentative hand onto Ashley's arm that was holding her body up by leaning on the mattress next to Spencer's torso. She only caught on now that the brunette had effectively trapped her beneath herself, and she felt more safe here than in her own bed. Ashley licked her lips and looked like she was fighting with something inside of her, her eyes had darkened and her jaw was tight. 

"Yeah, friends..quot; 

"I don't want to lose you either. I know Aiden means a lot to you, and I would never break up a friendship - believe me about that. I just, with you - I can't help how my heart beats faster, or I shake a little more." Spencer felt Ashley lean her weight onto the arm above the mass on blonde hair and let her left hand come into contact with her waist, curling beneath the top. 

"God, I really need to kiss you now." Ashley bravely let her forehead rest against Spencer's and felt the intake of breath the younger girl took in. "Can I? Spencer, tell me I can kiss you."

"You can kiss me."

Ashley smiled with her eyes, before settling herself a little further down on the bed and letting her eyes skip between waiting lips and pleading eyes. Spencer's lips parted a little before Ashley softly leant hers against them, both girls eyes fluttering closed at the sensation. Neither moved for a moment, just letting the feeling sink in, before instinct took over and they moved against one another.

Spencer tilted her head to the side slightly, letting her body get used to the feeling of everything that was Ashley Davies. She let herself die a little bit inside when a tentative tongue touched her lips, asking for access, which the blonde instantly granted.

The brunette moaned quietly at the sensation of tasting Spencer, and settled her body on top of the younger girls; gently at first. She felt hands paw at her body and she pushed her whole form into the girl below her.

Neither girl was sure of how long had passed but when they broke apart for air, their lips were bruised and their lungs were starving. 

"When do you have to go home?" Spencer took a quick glance at the clock.

"We'll go in twenty minutes." She smiled at the girl on top of her, and almost laughed at the giddy reaction. Lips met once more. 

Spencer rolled them over and before she could delve deeper into Ashley's mouth, a loud vibrating noise on the desk next to them broke them apart. Each girl looked over the Ashley's flashing phone and debated inwardly about what they should do. 

"Leave it." Ashley whispered, letting blonde hair curtain her from the outside world. 

"What if it's important?" The older girl lifted her hand and brought red lips down to meet hers.

"I'm in the middle of something much more important." She mumbled against the kiss, before getting lost in the girl once more.

The phone continued to vibrate in a small circle on the desk; when it finally stopped the display flashed a few times to let the owner know that they had something waiting for them when they got around to looking at it.

**One Missed Call at 4:10: Aiden.**


	19. Goodbye, For Now

"Ashley." Aiden greeted her with a large smile and a hug that almost made the two coffees she was holding spill over.

"Hey, basketballs newest star. How are you at this obnoxiously early hour?" He moved away from her and gratefully took the steaming Starbucks from his friend, gingerly taking a sip of the burning liquid.

"I know, sorry. I'm okay, been better though." Ashley shuffled on the spot a little as he sent her a pointed glare and refused to look up until she knew he was taking another sip of his coffee. "Why didn't you just tell me you liked her? I mean, I'm not stupid but it's not as if you made it obvious."

"Can we - not talk about it here?" Her eyes darted over the few other guys who were coming off of the plane that Aiden had been on. "I want to hear how it went."

"Okay, but I want some answers. Thanks for the coffee." He kissed her cheek, trying to show he was still there for her and walked off in the direction of luggage collection.

"You're welcome..." She replied, sighing heavily and trailing behind the boy.

* * *

"...So yeah, after the first few trials I was told to do some extra sporting activities. So I did, and may I say I'm pretty hot at tennis. Anyway, they said they couldn't be certain and they wouldn't tell me just yet, I have to wait for the letter, but it's looking good that I'll get in." Aiden concluded to the girls, who were all listening to his story willingly.

"That's really great, Aiden. Well done." Kyla smiled, flashing her trademark grin at the beaming boy. "Now all we have to do is wait for the letter."

"I know."

"Tennis? You played tennis?" Taylor chuckled from her spot beside Ashley. She had felt the glares from the only blonde a mile away, but Ashley had practically dragged her down next to her and she was in no position to move.

"Yeah." He nodded, obviously proud of himself.

"Damn, I would _pay _to see you in knee high socks and tight shorts." She laughed a little and then stalled herself. "Actually, I'd pay not to see you." She fell about again at the image of Aiden in the all white clothes with matching headband.

"You're such a child, Tay." Ashley slapped her playfully but all she got was a snort of laughter in return.

"I bet you had to put the balls in your shorts! Oh Aiden, I knew the truth would come out eventually." Taylor continued to find the whole situation amusing and found herself randomly giggling at intervals. She calmed down a little and leant her head against Ashley's shoulder, earning her another scowl from Spencer. Which Aiden didn't miss, at all.

"So, what have you all been up to while I've been away. Apart from Spencer kissing my best friend and -"

"Don't Aiden." Kyla warned, her eyes telling Spencer how sorry she was.

"Sorry, it just baffles me how Spencer conveniently forgot to mention she was into girls." Aiden's pride had been hurt and he was lashing out at the wrong time. It had been hard to hear that the girl you could see spending the next few years with had kissed your best friend. Your gay best friend. Who only ever slept around and occasionally kissed the same person twice.

"Aiden -" Taylor started.

"No, I get it. I screwed up. I'm sorry for being confused in my teenage years, because God forbid that should happen." Spencer finally spoke up, after twenty minutes of glaring at either Taylor or her shoes. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Aiden, you know that."

"Why didn't you just tell me you liked girls, liked Ashley, when we were together? It would have made life so much easier and I could have kept you away from one another." He stood up. Although he knew what he was saying was out of order, and he would probably have to beg for forgiveness later, but he couldn't stop the words spilling out.

"Why? Aiden don't be unreasonable. I mean, you're already asking me to choose between you. Isn't that enough?" Ashley sat forward and narrowed her eyes, un-amused at how Aiden was focusing all his attention on Spencer.

"Have you? Chosen, I mean. Or was it too difficult for you." He span around to face her as Taylor and Kyla shrunk back, Spencer watching closely at the interaction. She hadn't meant for the friends to fall out.

"I picked you up didn't I? I'm here with you now, aren't I?" She too stood up, even though she was significantly smaller she stood her ground. "And for the record, yes it's hard to choose."

"Why? I'm your best friend, Ashley. I know everything there is to know about you. I've been through hell and back with you, and I'm still here. I'm asking you to do one fucking thing, Ashley. One!" The room went silent as Ashley looked wounded and for a second they were afraid she was going to raise her hand and slap the guy in front of her, for putting her on the spot. A place where the brunette hated to be.

"We always said that we wouldn't let anybody come between our friendship, Ash." His voice was a lot calmer now, almost relaxed. "Why are you letting someone ruin us? I'm not saying cut Spencer out of your life, our lives, because she's amazing. But, I don't know if I can deal with you being with her when I've fallen for her."

"You've fallen for her?" Ashley quirked an eyebrow and risked a glance in Spencer's direction, who was now on her feet.

"Whatever." Aiden shook his head and looked at the blonde next to him. "I'm sorry, okay. I get you don't want to be with me - I'll get over it, and maybe you want to be with Ashley, but for once in my Goddamn life I need to be selfish." Spencer nodded, much to the dismay of Ashley.

"I mean, we were never really anything more than friends were we Ashley? We can be friends, right?" Blue eyes pleaded with her.

Ashley nodded.

It was obvious the choice had been made for her.

* * *

Aiden silently looked at Ashley as she drove him home, she had already dropped off Spencer and Taylor had long since left to go home. The expression on Ashley's face was unreadable and it made something shift uncomfortably inside Aiden.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you, Ash. But I can't lose my best friend, or see Spencer get hurt."

She didn't say anything and came to a stop outside of Aiden's house. He could see by the look in her eyes that she was upset but she wasn't willing to admit it, not after their fight earlier. He reached across and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Please understand?" He tried to smile at her but all he got in reply was a nod of the head. "Do you really like her?"

"I think so." She fiddled with her fingernails for a moment before reaching across and pulling a note out of a bag underneath Aiden's feet. "This is for you. Promise me you wont read it until tomorrow." She handed the envelope over shakily.

"Can't I open it now?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Promise me you'll only open it tomorrow."

"Promise." She smiled at him and he resolved to not opening it until the following day, especially if it made his friend happy. "Thanks for the ride." He leant over and kissed her cheek, before jumping out of the car and heading inside.

Ashley gripped onto the steering wheel and decided on her next destination, she span the wheel and began in the direction she had come from.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Spencer crossed her arms in her doorway and looked at Ashley. "I thought you were dropping Aiden off."

"Already have. There's something I need to give you." She fiddled with the envelope and held it out to Spencer. "You can't open it until tomorrow, okay?" Spencer took it from her and eyed the white paper.

"Why? It's not like a bomb or something is it?"

"No, I usually wrap them in pink paper." She smiled and let herself melt on the spot when Spencer smiled back. "So...friends, huh?"

"Yeah, friends."

"Sounds -- good." She shrugged and closed her eyes at the cold wind as it brushed past. Since when did LA have cold winds?

"Perfect even."

"If I kissed you now would we still be friends?" She watched as Spencer chewed on her bottom lip and give a little shrug.

"Friends don't kiss." Spencer twisted the note a little in her hands and watched as Ashley shifted in place on the porch, nodding her head like she was trying to think of something to say.

"Well, that's okay. I wasn't going to kiss you anyway." The blonde laughed at the sentence as it was accompanied by a cheeky smile and sparkling eyes.

"I wouldn't have kissed back." Spencer found she could speak like this due to the fact her mom wasn't home yet, and Glen was too busy with Madison up in his room to come down and care.

"Good."

"Great."

"I should go. There's some things that I need to do before tomorrow." She leant back on her heels and sank her teeth into her bottom lip.

"That's when I can open this letter, right?"

"Right."

"Okay."

"Uh-huh."

"You were going?" Spencer couldn't hide the amusement from her voice, even if she tried.

"Oh, yeah. Bye." Without thinking Ashley leant forward and kissed the blondes cheek softly, lingering for a few extra seconds before moving away and sending her a heart stopping smile.

"Bye..." Blue eyes watched as Ashley walked away, her heart still racing and her mind wanting to know what was in the letter.

* * *

Ashley knew she shouldn't have done it. She knew it was the coward's way out; but she had no other choice. Right?

Her best friend was asking her to walk away from someone whom she actually cared about.

She looked up as a beaming blonde woman tapped on her shoulder, and Ashley removed her ear-plugs and let them carelessly dangle from around her neck. She raised an eyebrow because she sure as hell wasn't going to speak.

"Ma'am. We are about to land. Could you please turn off your iPod?" Ashley obliged the woman and turned it off, stuffing it far down into her pocket and leaning back. She looked to her left and saw Taylor looking at her.

"What?"

"Are you sure coming to New York with me for a week is the best way to solve this?" Taylor, the friend who Ashley could always count on, was now looking at her like she was making a lot of bad decisions.

"They'll cope." She turned her head to the right and watched the tarmac come into view.

Her phone was switched off but she knew that Aiden and Spencer would have opened her letter by now, and would be trying to contact her.

She shouldn't have done it.


	20. Bright, City Lights

She couldn't pay attention during school at all. The teachers made no sense, she was going left instead of right during practice and she had spelt her last name wrong on the test during Math's. Apparently Spenser Carling had gotten a D.

Apparently Kyla had little indication about her little flight out to New York with Taylor; just that she knew it was happening but not this soon. Apparently, Aiden too had received a letter but neither she or him had talked about the contents. But here she was, after a cancelled practice, waiting for the basketball team to come out of the school building. She began to unfold the note in her hand, she had read it more than a dozen times in the 78 hours it had been in her possession and she knew it almost off by heart. She had studied Ashley's cursive and smiled at the little heart that ended the letter, which told her the date of which she would return. Doors opened and she saw Madison first, slobbering over her brother who was still in the uniform.

"Hey sis. Need a lift home?" Glen caught her eye. He had noticed a sudden shift in his sisters mood recently and if he was one to place bets, he would put it down to the overnight disappearance of one Ashley Davies.

"That's fine, Carlin. I'm taking her." Aiden spoke up, rooting around in his bag for something that nobody could see. Glen sent a look to his little sister and shrugged away Madison's pawing hands; sometimes she could get a little too clingy.

"Aiden's taking you home?"

"Yeah. I have to talk to him about something." She smiled at her brother who continued to eye her, obviously wanting to know what was going on but being tugged away by an eager cheerleader.

"Okay, I'll see you at home then." Spencer just nodded and watched him depart, almost laughing out loud at how Madison was shocked into silence at Glen's sudden turn which resulted in her landing a kiss on his cheek rather than his mouth. Sometimes, Glen was a little too overprotective of his baby sister but Spencer loved it anyway.

"So, you got a letter too then?" Aiden nodded towards the now crumpled note in the blonde's hand and chuckled as she nervously unfolded it. "It's a bit sudden, huh?"

"Not really." She mumbled as she hopped off of the wall she was sat on. She looked up at him, her eyes squinting against the harsh glare of the sun. "She dosen't like having to make decisions is all." Licking her lips nervously she picked her back up off of the floor.

"I get it. I suck. You have to understand where I'm coming from here though, Spence." He finally pulled the note out of his bag. "I can't lose my best friend."

"Whoever said you were going to lose her?" The blonde tilted her head and stared at the boy, her mind racing to keep up with her heart. "Ashley wouldn't walk away from you, or your friendship."

"She already has. She's in New York."

"Because you sent her there by making her choose between us. So she likes me, so what?" She waved the note around as if it was going to help. "I thought friends would want other friends to be happy."

"Look, me and Ashley have been through so much. She isn't the type of girl to -"

"Get into a relationship and commit. I know." Spencer rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "I've heard the story a thousand times."

"But do you know the ending?" Aiden challenged. "Ashley hurts the people close to her. What's scaring me now is that she likes you, a lot. I can see it in her eyes. And the second she realizes she can't commit she's going to hurt you, but because she likes you so much, she'll end up hurting herself. I don't want that."

"So you're just going to let her be unhappy and full of one-night stands for the rest of her life?" Spencer shook her head as Aiden popped his backpack over his right shoulder. "That isn't fair. She has to learn herself."

"She's been hurt too many times. By her dad, her mom, Madison...Spencer, you haven't even come out yet. Ashley isn't the kind of girl who will be patient and pussy-foot around the issue, she'll want things and when you can't give them her she'll get hurt." The dark-haired boy punctuated his sentence with a few finger pokes.

"So you think I'm going to be the one who'll hurt her? Because I'm not out yet?"

"Ashley likes a challenge and you're the challenge for this month. It's what she does and I care about you too, I don't want to see her build your hopes up just to burn them down."

"You're a shit best friend. Do you know that?" Spencer turned her lip up at the guy she was stood in front of. "She chose to keep you as a friend even though she's -- Even though she likes me."

"I know. I get that..."

"You obviously don't Aiden. She likes me and I like her and she still kissed me after I told her all the downsides of being with me. She told me that she dosen't want to lose me, and you didn't see her then. You didn't see the conflict in her eyes. She hates this situation. You, Aiden, you could make it simple by stepping aside and letting us be."

"You really like her don't you?" He softened quickly, his protective best friend charade effectively broken and his outlook on Spencer changing. "I mean, really like her?"

"I don't know. I mean, I miss her so much at the moment and it hurts a little she left with a note. I want to be more than friends with her, because this is who I am - I haven't changed from Ohio, I liked girls there too. I just, my mom -- whatever, she's a bitch. Whatever it is I'm feeling, I'm not alone in it but she just wants to do the right thing." She let herself break a little on the outside, knowing for some absurd reasons she could talk to Aiden about this.

"Can I read what she wrote you?" He held out a hand with his request and took the note gingerly when it was given to him. In turn he gave Spencer the letter he had received, and with a moments hesitation they both read the short message.

* * *

_Big, old, handsome A,_

_So, I'll be on a plane to that juicy big apple when you read this. And this time you wont be with me! _

_Don't be mad at me, please? I hate it when you are mad at me. It's like when a parent tells you that they're disappointed in you, it just sucks and you feel like shit. You're my best friend and I can't stand it when we have arguments. _

_I know what you're going to say. I'm just running from my problems again, but this time I honestly don't know if I can face them._

_You knew I'd choose you over Spencer, but I have to admit it shocked me that you went that far. I thought I meant more than that to you, but if you want me to prove it then I will._

_I really do like her and I want the chance to see where it goes with her; but you come first, you know. It's always been you. After the Madison thing and the Taylor thing, it's always been you whose been there for me and now I'm going to be there for you. _

_I just need some space to breathe, okay? I'll be back soon._

_Love you, big brother._

_Ashley._

* * *

Ashley loved the thrill of the city, the flashing lights and the ignorant taxi drivers. She loved the rush of people and bustling nightlife; she was an LA girl at heart but could blend into any major city in the world. London, Paris, New York City - they were her homes, her holiday hideaways dotted around the world.

She watched as Taylor and her mom interacted, her mom's new guy standing by with a wad of cash sticking out of his back pocket. The green notes waiting for a mini Jay-Z to grab them and make a break for the closest dealer.

Even though she could feel her heart beating, she was lost in the big, bad, city of lights. Her mind was constantly on a movie reel of memories with Aiden, which would then blend into moments with Spencer and was left just as confused as when she had boarded flight 897, Sunday evening.

"Ashley, do you want to come too?" Taylor tucked a loose strand of hair behind a newly pierced ear and Ashley watched slim fingers flow through straight hair. Taylor had always been fascinated with the piercing of Ashley's scaffold all the time they were together, saying she wanted one. But she never got one, not until the day before.

"Hmm?"

"Me, mom, Darryl and you. Tonight?"

"That really cleared things up considering I wasn't listening to you, Tay." Taylor's mom laughed heartily.

Considering she had bagged one of the richest guys in New York that week, she wasn't that much of a gold-digger. She had been with the guy for a long time, and it was obvious the two had a deep love for one another. Her mom wasn't that bad though, a little rough around the edges and she had children way too early. Her strict upbringing didn't help much either, but she was better now. Inviting her daughter out for a week of luxury, with permission to bring a...'friend.' Mrs. James, or Mrs. Collier as she liked to be known, was trying hard to rebuild her relationship with her beautiful daughter once more.

"Ashley, honey, Darryl was just saying there is a play on tonight. We were wondering if you would like to join us." She watched as Kathleen, Taylor's mom, took in a long drag from her cigarette. It was scary how the two women were so alike, both brunettes were sat there, albeit Kathleen was more blonde, with cigarettes in their hand striking identical poses. It was a little un-nerving actually.

"Sure, sounds cool." Ashley wasn't into fat women screaming about lost loves in Viking helmets, or was that the opera? Whatever, it was something to take her mind off of Spencer and Aiden.

"Great, well me and Kat will pick you up at 8 sharp. Okay, girls?" Darryl had a thick English accent, but with more of a Northern edge to it. He was in some computer business but Ashley had stopped listening after the words Apple and Microsoft.

"Okay." Ashley felt herself being tugged up by a happy Taylor. "We'll go back to the hotel and change."

Cordial goodbyes were given, with the compulsory air kisses and short hugs. Kathleen reminded Ashley of her own mother, but nicer, considering the dirty blonde actually wanted a relationship with her daughter.

The brunette followed a giggling Taylor back to the hotel. During the three days they had spent there, Ashley and her had gotten a little closer and the singer briefly wondered if Taylor had actually gotten over her. The long touches on her arm, and kisses on her cheek begged that she hadn't - but the soft spoken girl insisted otherwise.

At least if she did get into anything with Taylor then Aiden couldn't object. But there was a barrier between them, and she was called Spencer Carlin.

* * *

_Spence,_

_When you read this I'll be on my way to New York with Taylor. I know, right? The big apple that's ridden with all sorts of things is my destination of choice. Hell no to Cabo for me. I just need some time away, you know? _

_You asked me, no told me, that you should have the opportunity to prove yourself over Aiden and I let you have it. But in doing so I didn't have chance to think about the choice. _

_I'm not blaming you though. Far from it. It's just when I was with you; I felt amazing, like I could do anything or be anyone. I want to know everything about you and for the first time ever I want to spend the night talking about your life, nothing sexual about it. And during that entire high-school crushing thing, I forgot we were hurting Aiden in the process and I realised how shit of a friend I was._

_I'm falling for you Spencer. Really hard. Faster than anyone I've ever fallen for I think. _

_I just need some time to myself, that's all. Because the way I'm falling for you is scaring me and I don't know if I can just be friends with you. It's been, what, two days since I kissed you? And it's already driving me insane not being able to do it again._

_I'll be back soon, next Sunday hopefully because that's when Taylor's mom is kicking us out. _

_I'm not promising I'll be over whatever I'm feeling for you then, but at least I'll be a week prepared for you. _

_You scare me, Carlin, in every way possible and I kind of like it. It's addicting, but I'll quit - I promise._

_Ashley._

* * *

"She needs space to breathe, because she's falling for you." Aiden sighed, glancing at the letter once more. "I thought it was because I was making her choose, and being demanding."

"You mean so much to her."

Realization set in for both teenagers, letting them see each other through Ashley's eyes and not through their own selfish needs. Ashley loved Aiden like a brother, it said it in the letter and she had spoken about it numerous times. And Ashley was well on her way to experiencing what it felt like to fall in love, with Spencer.

"I'm an ass."

"I don't want to break up your friendship."

They spoke over one another, laughing a little they tried again. Each waited for the other to speak, before opening their mouths to say something again.

"You could make her happier than she's been in a long time."

"She just wants to do the right thing."

Once more they spoke over each other, which just resulted in them not really hearing what the other was saying and a few more laughs. Gesturing with her hands, Spencer told Aiden silently to go first.

"I...I think you should take it slow with my best friend."

Spencer smiled, before Aiden too mimicked her movements and gestured so that she should speak.

"As long as you remain her best friend, I'll do just that."

* * *

Taylor fumbled with the door for a moment before she finally entered the room. It was just after midnight but the city was still rushing by beneath the hotels large windows. The two girls were sharing a large suite room; there were two separate bedrooms, a living area and a nice kitchen. The balcony wasn't much to write home about but it was enough space for the two girls to sit on, with a coffee and a bagel in the morning as they soaked in the New York life.

"That was _so _good!" Taylor grinned as she fell onto the beige couch, flicking off her heels as she did so and letting them fly in two separate directions.

"Yeah, it was okay." Ashley locked the door. The truth was she had spent the whole time imagining what it would be like if she treated Spencer to a night out like that, a cozy meal in a restaurant and a dark theatre with a Shakespearian play in the background. They too could come back to a hotel room and wake up in the morning to bagels and coffee. They could phone Kyla and Aiden, telling them about their short break away, and all four would be relatively happy.

She scowled. Spencer was turning her into a sap and they weren't even together.

"Darryl is nice, don't you think?"

"Yeah. I was expecting a stuck up Englishman; but he's something else alright." Ashley sat down next to Taylor and closed her eyes, listening to the street below; police sirens in the distance and the rush of cars.

"Are you okay? You've been distant since we've got here." Taylor smoothed some hair out of Ashley's face. It was times like this the Ryan girl would fall for the brunette all over again. When it was quiet and they were both relaxed, but one was taking care of the other. "Are you regretting leaving? Like I said you would." She smiled a little.

"I know I chose Aiden but I can't stop thinking about Spencer." Brown eyes flicked open and saw the caring face of Taylor, soft fingers dancing over her cheek; their mouths not too far from the other.

"If you want. You can say no." Taylor leant in a little further, knowing she could push her luck at any time and have Ashley deliver a stinging blow to her heart. "I can help you forget her. For one night."

Ashley looked at her uncertain.

Taylor wanted her, she could tell that from the moment they met again and she knew the poor girl was still in love with her. It technically wouldn't be using her if it was for just one night, and Spencer and her thoughts were driving her slowly insane.

People would accept her and Taylor; they would smile and say how good they looked together. Taylor wouldn't be ridiculed and have the threat of being thrown off of a team, or a disapproving mother and friends.

And, at the end of the day what happens in New York can always stay in New York.

Right?

* * *

**Well, well, well what is Ashley to do? Afterall, she isn't cheating on her little blonde back home. Don't you just love drama? I end one thing to start another. **

**Anyway, all that aside I just want to say 207 reviews?! That is the most I have ever, ever, ever gotten and I just want to thank you all who read, review and add me to whatever lists you add me to so much.**

**Krisana22**** - You were my 200th reviewer and I want to say THANK YOU.**

**By the way, I'm doing my A Level exams in about 2 months which is why I've thrown 2 quick chapters out in as many weeks. Updates will slow down considerably from now on I think, at least until I get all this crazy stuff out of the way. And I'm going on holiday next Sunday (6th)**

**This is a long note...**

**Sorry.**


	21. Confessions

**SPAIN HERE WE COME, GIRLS! **

**Anyway, thanks for the reviews. **

**I wrote this in a lecture for Sociology today, which is why it's all over the place. I don't really like it, but tell me what you think.**

**Kelly.**

--

Ashley woke up with the sound of her phone alerting her that she had a message. She slapped around for it, until her fingers grazed the vibrating object and she picked it up; all the while refusing to open her eyes. She held the small device in front of her face for a few moments, before finally peeling back her eyelids and looking at the tiny screen.

**1 New Message: Spencer.**

Debating on whether to open it, or ignore it like she had been planning to, she briefly wondered where she was. Dark eyes scanned the room, an empty Jack Daniels stood in the middle of the floor and there was a body lying next to her in the large bed.

"Oh God, tell me I didn't."

"You didn't."

"God?" Ashley scrunched up her nose and looked at the ceiling. Since when did God sound like a sleepy Taylor?

"You're pathetic in a morning, Ashley." Taylor chuckled through a haze of sleep and turned to her, the covers slid down and Ashley could see she was in her bra. She looked down at her own body and saw she was dressed in a similar way.

"Why are you topless in my room?"

"You don't remember?" Taylor stretched out, moaning gratefully as bones snapped back into place and she popped her back; much to Ashley's disgust.

"Obviously." Her phone went forgotten on the sheet in front of her.

"I'm saying nothing. I'll leave you to suffer with only my silence." She started to get out of the bed, but was yanked down by Ashley who was glaring at her.

"Tell me. Cause if we slept together there is going to be hell to pay."

"It takes two to tango, chica."

"We didn't tango, right?" She added sheepishly, looking at the grey-eyed beauty and waiting for her answer. Taylor apparently took pity on her as her face relaxed, and her shoulders slumped a little.

"Whatever, I'll tell you but it isn't all that exciting."

"Tell me."

* * *

_"Just say no and we'll act like it never happened." Taylor came closer and licked her lips, needing Ashley to make the next move. _

_"I need a drink."_

_With that Ashley shot up and went for the drinks cabinet, leaving Taylor to fall back against the cushions and heave a long sigh. She hadn't really known what to expect of the brunette, but her shooting off of the couch like it was on fire didn't top her list. _

_When she came back the two made small talk, trying to forget the incident whilst Ashley proceeded to drink most of the bottle all by herself. Taylor watched with care as Ashley sloshed the bottle around, a few drops of amber liquid coming out to stain Ashley's top. It had been at least two hours, and the girl was wasted; leaving Taylor to look after her._

_"Choose! I mean seriously." She was slurring her words and it was amusing to the young girl; but the reason she was drunk was less so. "Why, why, why would you choose between them? It's stupid. Aiden's stupid. With his stupid smile and his stupid 15 years on Spencer."_

_"I agree."_

_"I don't need Spencer though I don't think." Ashley tipped the bottle towards Taylor, her eyes drooping and an expression of that couldn't really be explained. It was between amused and serious. "I got you, don't I? You love me."_

_"You're drunk. You're not even talking properly."_

_"Why do you still love me? I suck." Her head lolled back a little, before she put it right and began a slow crawl towards Taylor. _

_"No you don't. You're beautiful, Ashley, you know that."_

_"I got brains too." She stated proudly, her bad English making Taylor cringe just a little. _

_"You have." _

_"You're kind of beautiful too." She raised a hand up. "You could be a perfect girl for me, you know." She leant in and her alcohol stained breath caused Taylor to wince, knowing that Ashley wanted to do something. But it took the influence of Jack Daniels to get her there._

_"But..." She waited for the inevitable word. "There's a but right?"_

_"But I think Spencer is my girl now." She let her head drop to Taylor's shoulder and began to place a few wet kisses along her shoulder. "I want her, but I'm not allowed to have her." The kisses ran up a smooth neck and Taylor was torn between stopping her and having Ashley like she wanted. "I can have you, nobody will tell me that I can't have you. You're Taylor not Spencer."_

_"She can be your friend."_

_"Make me forget how I feel about her then." White teeth nipped on Taylor's earlobe and all rational thinking flew out of the window._

_"Bedroom."_

* * *

"Oh shit. We didn't -- did we?" Ashley flopped back onto the pillows and closed her eyes, only quickly thanking whoever it was that she didn't get hangovers. What the hell was wrong with her? She liked Spencer and yet here she was, being told by Taylor, that she had seduced her the night before.

"No. We nearly did, but we stopped."

"What happened?" As she asked her phone vibrated again. Reminding her of the blonde girl back home who had just text her.

"Do you want to get some breakfast? We have some orange juice in the fridge, and I'll make some French toast." Taylor shifted and sat up, looking around for her top and showing her usual signs of being uncomfortable. "And we'll go shopping later; you can pick something up for Aiden."

"Taylor, tell me what happened. Did I hurt you or something?"

"Not in the way you think." She whispered it and Ashley only just heard it.

* * *

_Even drunk Ashley knew what she was doing. After tumbling through the door in an embrace, the two had fallen onto the closest bed and continued to assault one another's mouths. Taylor could taste the liquor on Ashley's breath, but she didn't care. She was here with Ashley and it didn't matter the circumstance, it was her and Ashley. _

_Taylor flipped the over so she was on top, needing to make this all about Ashley, needing to show her that she could be the perfect girl for her. Ashley smirked at her eagerness, and ran her hands down Taylor's sides before whipping her top over her head. The garment lay stranded somewhere across the room, but neither brunette seemed to care. _

_"You're so amazing, Ashley." Taylor whispered, before locking her lips onto a tanned neck and working quickly. She only parted from salty flesh to remove the offending top that was constricting her from going any lower on the toned body._

_"Don't stop..." Ashley pulled her back down again, melting their lips together and wrapping her arms around the other girl's body._

_"You feel so good." Her lips parted from Ashley's loudly, she began a slow decent into Ashley's cleavage as her hand drew small circles on a bare stomach. She needed this, both of them did, but for entirely different reasons. Ashley began rocking against Taylor, who shifted position so her leg fell between Ashley's denim clad thighs. _

_"Oh fuck, Spencer." _

_All motion stopped and Taylor pulled away like she had been burnt. Ashley opened her eyes and looked at her confused before trying to pull her down again, becoming frustrated when Taylor wouldn't move her head and connect their lips._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"We can't. You're drunk."_

* * *

Ashley took it in, she had said Spencer's name in the middle of a passionate moment with Taylor. She could see behind clouded grey eyes, that the girl was hurt, that by saying the blondes name it had stung Taylor more than if she had pushed her away.

"I need French toast. Go and get a shower and I'll get breakfast ready." The brunette was up and out of the room before Ashley had a chance to protest. She watched as the door closed and bit her lip, this wasn't how her week was meant to go. Sighing, she flicked open her phone and saw she had message from Spencer.

**I miss u! I talked 2 Aiden. He thinks me n u shud take things slow. Pls don't change Ur mind on us, I havnt. Spencer.**

Ashley furrowed her eyebrows. What the hell?

Aiden thinks they should take it slow? He'd given permission after she had flown out of the state in a blind moment of panic? This was too messed up for Ashley to even start thinking about. Now that she wasn't around it was like Aiden was saying a relationship between her and Spencer was fine.

Then again. Who was she to question it when it was what she wanted? Acting on impulse she pressed call and waited for her friend, or whatever the hell she was, to answer the phone, uncaring about what time it was in LA; because afterall, for her to text would mean she was awake.

_"Hello?"_

"What do you mean he thinks we should take things slow?"

_"Uh, what? Ash it's really early."_

"Me, you, slow, Aiden...slow. Does it ring any bells?"

_"Oh. He read the letter you wrote to me, said that he just wants you to be happy and I think he realised how selfish and pathetic he was being."_

Ashley listened to the girl yawn, and breathe deeply, and was almost horrified at how happy it made her just to hear her on the phone like that. This wasn't who Ashley Davies was, but she wasn't afraid to just let it go and try with her.

"You want to go slow?"

_"I'd rather talk face to face. Can we meet up on Monday?" _

"Whatever you want, Carlin." She licked her lips and remembered the night she had just been through with Taylor. "But, there's something I have to tell you."

_"Did you get arrested?"_

"No." Ashley furrowed her eyebrows. What was it with everybody assuming she'd get arrested? It had only happened like, twice.

_"Run in your underwear through New York?"_

"Why the hell would I do that?" She paused for a moment. "Unless there was money involved. Or alcohol. Or a girlfriend's mother chasing me with a whisk shouting that I was a sinner."

_"A mother doing what?"_

"Long story."

_"And I haven't got the time to hear it." She yawned again. "So what is it you have to tell me?"_

"Promise you won't hate me?"

_"Ashley, what is it?"_

"Promise me."

_"I won't hate you, I promise. Now tell me."_

"I maybe, sort of, almost, nearly slept with Taylor." She bit her lip. "Last night." A long silence ensued and Ashley was practically chewing the skin beneath her bottom lip, her fingernails running a path up her thighs. "Spe -"

_"So, why didn't you? You're single."_

"Not really there's you. Plus, I can't say."

_"Please? I need to know."_

"It's embarrassing! Sort of. You might find it less so."

_"It's hurting me that you can't tell me."_

"I said your name when we were -- doing, whatever." She muttered, hoping that by pulling the speaker closer to her mouth she had muffled the sound. The only reason she had parted with the information was because it was down to her Spencer was hurting, and maybe it would help a little.

_"You were thinking about me?"_

"I always seem to think about you. You drive me crazy, and all I'm thinking about is your voice." She smiled, and then frowned at how sappy she was being. "It's quite annoying really. I might get myself another counselor."

_"You do that." There was a long sigh. "I know were not together but I'm kinda jealous of what happened."_

"You're not mad?"

_"I'm not your girlfriend."_

"Yet." Because by Monday, who knows what could happen. Ashley closed her eyes, whatever was going on was sending her for a ride and usually she would hate it. She would hold on and scream and shout until she no longer had to continue with emotions and feelings. Spencer made the whole ride enjoyable.

_"Promise me you won't do it again? That you'll just be friends with Taylor."_

"I promise. It's all you, Spencer."

_"Okay, I have to sleep now. You're like three hours ahead" She laughed a little at how ADD she sounded. "I'll text you later, or something."_

"Okay. Wait, you text me - you should have been awake."

_"You're phone must be playing up. I sent it before I fell asleep, Ashley."_

"Oh, well that makes everything different then."

_"Ash? Thanks for telling me what happened. It shows me that this is serious, that I can trust you."_

"Well I trust you. It should go both ways." She pulled her knees up and let her forehead rest upon them. "Sleep well, Carlin."

_"Bye Davies."_

Ashley flipped her phone shut and tried, but failed, to hide the large smile that had graced her face at speaking with the young blonde. Come Monday it seemed that anything could go, she could kiss Spencer whenever she wanted - except on school grounds and when her mother was around - and maybe she could have a shot at that relationship stuff that everyone goes on about around King High. A curl fell in front of her eyes and she watched it sway.

She knew it wouldn't be easy with Spencer, there were so many obstacles, but it was better than being without her.

* * *

"Spencer! Girl, what is wrong with you these days?" Madison stalked over to Spencer after the girls had left the gym. She narrowed her eyes and took in the young blonde, much like a tiger would their prey and Spencer felt just a little uneasy. "Step, dip, step, thrust - what is so hard about that? It's four tiny movements."

_Step, dip, step, thrust. Step, dip, step, thrust._

The mantra had been going over and over in the blondes head during practice. She had the routine down up until the last few movements she had to perfect, whilst the others lifted poor Amber into the air. Instead of dipping though, she would step and ultimately put the rest of the girls off of track.

Spencer, along with Madison, was the only one who the other girls watched whilst performing. She hit her moves, usually, and always guided the team along without screaming at them like a banshee. Much like Madison usually did.

"I have stuff on my mind, Mads. Sorry." She mumbled; reaching into her bag and switching her phone on that she had turned off before practice.

"We all do." The Latina sighed and put a hand on her hip, striking a pose but her face softened to one of a friend. "What's wrong?" Spencer looked at the girl and took her in. One minute Madison could be a great friend, who would listen and guide her during her cheers and the next she would be shouting in someones face about how stupid they were for thinking they could be on the team. Spencer could, though, see what Ashley once saw in her as a friend. Even if it had long since gone.

"Nothing that will interest you." She hoisted her bag over her shoulder. "I'll sort it out and be back to normal next practice."

"It's Ashley, isn't it?" Madison raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and folded her arms. She tutted at the unresponsive blonde and gave a patented eye roll, that was infamous of the captain. "I told you not to get involved with that one."

"She isn't as bad as you keep saying she is." Spencer felt herself having the urge to defend Ashley, her Ashley. "She's a good friend. I mean, if she was so bad Aiden would have long since left."

"Aiden's a douche-bag."

"Whatever it is you have against her needs to stop Madison. I like you, and I like her. I can't choose friends, I won't, and I saw what Ashley went through." Spencer stopped short. Had she given too much away? She knew Madison and Aiden still talked occasionally, but he wouldn't have said anything, right?

"What Ashley went through?" She straightened, and Spencer cocked an eyebrow. It was almost like the Latina wanted to defend Ashley, stand up for whatever it was she went through and be a friend.

"Between you and Aiden. She didn't want to lose either of you, but she did, and it hurt." The blonde tried to save her sentence. For a second Madison looked remorseful, but she shook the look away and replaced it with one of indifference.

"So, I heard you and Aiden broke up. What happened?" She had changed from her cheerleading uniform, but Madison still had her hair pulled back tight and a soft glow on her skin. She leant against the pillar, and surveyed Spencer.

"Nothing, it just happened."

"So it has nothing to do with Ashley?"

"No."

"Good, because if you and Ashley get together I'd have no other choice than to kick you off of the team. You know that, right?"

The blonde looked the girl up and down. She knew something had happened in the cheerleaders and Ashley a long time ago, and she couldn't put her finger on what exactly it was. There was an underlying tension with the two of them, which Spencer picked up on when they talked about one another. Whatever it was, Spencer assumed, it had nothing to do with the fact Ashley was gay and everything to do with something else.

"You'd kick me off because I'd be with someone I cared for?"

"I know you like her Spencer and it would make the other girls uncomfortable if you got with her, and then came into the changing rooms."

"So I can't be with someone because _your girls _would feel uncomfortable?" Spencer frowned.

"It wouldn't be fair."

"Right. For the record, I'm not with Ashley just so you know." The darker girl looked pleased with that reply. "But I hate how prejudice the team is."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you should expect my uniform back tomorrow." She shook her head and walked out of the changing rooms and into the cool air of the quad. She turned the corner and she could hear the slapping of shoes as Madison caught up with her. Hadn't she just quit her stupid squad?

"You can't quit. You're an amazing cheerleader." Madison stared at her and Spencer felt oddly pleased that the girl was telling her this. Madison made a point of never asking a girl to stay on the team if they quit.

"And you're an amazing homophobe. If I was gay then I'd be checking out the girls whenever I wanted, not just because Ashley walked into my life." Spencer continued walking and smiled when she saw her brothers waiting for her by the car. It was obvious Clay had told Glen to wait a few extra minutes for the girls to come out. She neared the car and heard the 'finally' sigh from Glens lips.

"Why, are you gay?" Madison fired the question at the blonde, who immediately stopped walking. For a moment the Carlin's and Madison stood still and all Spencer could hear was her heart beating.

"Spence, come on." Clay said softly. "Dad made chili."

"I asked you a question. Are you gay?"

"Leave it Madison." Glen warned. Both he and Clay shared a glance. The last time their sister had been asked that question was by their mother, in the kitchen, during a heated argument. In which Spencer said she was, and the next thing they knew they were in LA.

"What if I was?" Spencer turned slowly. "Have I changed in these last 5 minutes if I told you I liked girls?"

"Spencer, come on." Clay put a hand on his sister's arm, only to be shrugged off. "This isn't the time nor place."

"It's wrong, you can't be a dyke; you dated Aiden." Madison looked to her boyfriend for backup, but his eyes were anywhere else than on her. "Glen, tell your sister she isn't gay."

"We have to go home. Spence, dad's waiting." The blonde boy said, motioning to the car and waiting for his siblings to get in.

"I know you're not, Spencer. You're just using it as an excuse to quit the squad." Madison put her hands on her hips, shaking her head. "I mean you're norm -"

"Grow up, Madison." Glen's voice interrupted her and he opened the backdoor roughly. "Come on Spencer, seriously." With that both Clay and Spencer clambered into the car and waited for Glen to move.

"Don't tell me to grow up, Glen. It's your sister whose saying all this weird stuff."

"One of these days you're going to hear yourself speak, Madison. And then you'll realise how stupid you sound." Glen's words were accompanied by his door slamming shut, and a few moments later the car leaving King High grounds.

Spencer wanted to thank her brothers for being there for her, but before she could her phone signaled she had a message. She opened it and smiled when she saw it was from Ashley.

**Hope you've had a gd day, Carlin. NYC sucks w/out you. Ashley.**

She read the text a few more times and typed in her reply, happy with the fact that wherever Ashley was at the moment she was thinking about her.

* * *

Ashley's phone beeped again to tell her she had a message. She nodded along with Taylor as Darryl continued to tell them about micro-systems, or something, and she saw the forced smile on Taylor's mother's face; which was priceless enough. Darryl was nice, and funny, charming even, but his work was oh so boring and Ashley briefly wondered if Darryl had any idea that the teenagers were basically sleeping with their eyes open. She flipped open her phone next to her leg, so that the dark haired man couldn't see, and her eyes twinkled at the prospect of reading something from Spencer.

Taylor looked her way, then down at her phone and the small smile on her face faded when she saw _1 New Message: Spencer. _Ashley tried to hide the guilt and she knew she shouldn't have lead Taylor on that night, but it was over now and they were friends. She glanced down once more at the device and clicked 'read', biting her lip when she heard Taylor sigh and turn away.

**Not as bad as LA sucks w/out you.**


	22. A Broken Hallelujah

**You know; nobody told me spanish sun burns! **

**Here you go, chapter 22. Which I wrote whilst on a plane listening to my iPod and trying to ignore the fat man snoring in front of me.**

**...He was gross...**

**Anyway, hope you like it and I have a little bit of 23 done - thanks to the 3 days of rain in Malaga, lol. Don't know when I will put it up yet; hopefully soon.**

**Oh yeah I haven't put a disclaimer on anywhere; oopsie! so here it is:**

**_"I, Kelly, own nothing that relates to South of Nowhere. No DVDs (which they should do), No Behind the Scenes books (which they don't do), nothing. Because The-N won't do things like that. Because they are liars who pretend to like South but are actually too frightened that their viewers who enjoy watching DegrASSi and Saved by the Bell (which is so old they talk into walki-talki phones) will be too distressed by Mandy Musgraves abs and Gabrielle Christian's eyes._**

**_Those poor, poor, people who can't fathom that people no longer dress in nylon jumpers and neon trousers and life isn't really one long highschool trip - with serpent babies and every storyline ever._**

**_Plus, Tom Lynch owns the characters considering he made them. Anything that looks remotely like it should belong in South of Nowhere isn't mine. Taylor is though. And the coffees. And some of the cars that I decide they drive. And this computer, keyboard, idea and clothes on my back. Now feck off; this is my disclaimer and it relates to chapters 1-21 and 22 onwards._**

**_Do we have a problem now? Didn't think so._**

**_I don't own it."_**

**See? I disclaimed. **

**Thanks for the reviews guys they make my day, make me smile and make my mother wonder why I squee when I read an email.**

* * *

**22.**

Ashley walked through the airport with an air of confidence that Taylor admired. Her sunglasses were perched on her nose and she was rolling her small suitcase behind her, like she owned the whole of damn LAX. The brunette had no idea how the hell Ashley was getting home, all she knew is that she was getting a lift from her dad and he wasn't all that welcoming of the Davies girl. On the flight over, Ashley had dismissed it and told her that she would get Aiden to pick her up; but Taylor was unsure that he would.

The sight that greeted her though told her otherwise. There stood Aiden, wide smile on his face and two coffees (much like Ashley had greeted him, in the not so distant past) in both of his hands. To his right stood Spencer, all smiles and head tilts. She wanted to sneer, cry, shout and jump around all at the same time. How did this girl, in the white virginal tank top and blue jeans, with sandals, manage to tame the girl that fed of one-night stands and parties? Taylor wanted to hate her because she was there first. But Spencer made Ashley smile, and it had been a long time since she had seen that smile.

So she let it go.

"That coffee had better burn my tongue when I drink it, Aiden." Ashley warned. Taylor smiled wryly; the feisty singer always had to have her coffee steaming. So hot in fact, that when the two were together Taylor had winced for Ashley everytime she had taken a drink.

"It's burning my hand through the cardboard." He assured her and held it out, obviously the statement held a little bit of truth as the tanned girl took it from him and he shook his hand slowly. "Hey Taylor." He smiled at her and sent her a little wave, which consisted of nothing but him raising his hand.

"Hey." She murmured, eyes trained on Spencer who was busy smiling at the floor, then at Ashley, then at the floor again to even realise Aiden and herself were standing there. Aiden picked up on it quickly, taking Taylor's bag and setting off through the airport; causing Taylor to follow behind quickly. She looked behind her; the two girls were easily six feet behind them and had yet to say a word to one another. Still, without speaking they started to walk after her and Aiden.

"How was New York without me and Kyla?" He smiled at her. He knew how Taylor felt about the girl following behind but he didn't push it; Ashley chose whom Ashley chose. If she wanted the pope, nobody could argue with her.

"It was nice. My mom and I bonded, and Darryl is a sweetheart." She fingered the bracelet he and her mom had bought as a going away present. Ashley had received a present too, something to do with music and recording sessions at a discount. She didn't pay much attention; she was focused more on the squeal of delight that emanated from Ashley's lips.

"Good, good, did you and Ash get up to anything? I know what the two of you are like." They stepped outside onto warm tarmac, and proceeded to walk to Aiden's parents silver SUV parked a little too far back in the parking lot.

"Nothing that she enjoyed." Aiden picked up quickly the tone of voice used. He was used to being called a jock, muscle-boy (courtesy of one Ms. Ashley Davies), no brains and any other stereotypical wording for a guy who plays sport. He wasn't any of them; he knew his friends and was bright when it came to helping them.

"She still loves you on some level, you know?" He pressed the button and the car flashed, signalling it was now open.

"I know. I was her first, blah, blah, blah." She looked back to the airport where Spencer and Ashley were only just walking out of, now actually talking to one another. Ashley stalled for a moment, and looked around panicked at realising she had no idea where Aiden was parked.

"Spencer likes her." He told her, leaving her suitcase at her feet and waving at the girls who saw him and laughed a little at themselves. "And she likes Spencer."

"I know. I just thought I would have moved on by now, it's hard." She felt a large hand on her shoulder and looked up into the friendly face of the guy she had grown to love like family. Aiden was her, and Ashley's, rock throughout their relationship, and it was obvious that wasn't going to change even though it was over.

"You'll find someone, Tay. We've all been there with Ashley, you get over her."

"Even you?" She challenged. Aiden stayed quiet for a moment and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, before nodding earnestly.

"Yeah. I think I fell for the wrong girl at the wrong time, because there's someone else out there for me." He laughed and watched as the girls got closer. "Hell, I'm only 18."

"Theres a big, whole world out there for you to plant your seeds then." She grinned, laughing at how he grimaced.

"You always had a way with words, Miss Ryan." He smiled at her then kissed the top of her head. "Keep a hold of Ashley but you need to let her go." Taylor turned and looked at him confused. How could you keep something and let it go at the same time?

"I don't -"

"Guess what? Carlin quit Madison's cloning device and has returned to the land of the normal." The sound of Ashley's voice made Taylor jump, rather obviously which caused the three friends to laugh at her a little.

"So I heard." Aiden clapped his hands and stared at Ashley. "No gay jokes."

"I wasn't -"

"Yes, you were." He pointed at her and ignored the pout, eyes gleaming when he saw Spencer staring openly at the girl next to her. "Take a picture, Spence. It'll last longer." The blonde girl blushed insanely red, causing a major smile to break out on Ashley's face.

"I -- Taylor, are you getting a lift home with us?" Spencer lifted her head and looked at the young girl. Taylor shook her head in the negative and held the handle to her bag.

"My dad will be here soon. I'll just wait."

"We can wait with you." Ashley offered, waving a dismissive hand. "It's not like my mom even knew I'd disappeared and I don't want to really face Kyla."

"She went psycho when she found out you were in New York." Aiden grinned, putting Ashley's suitcase into the back on the car and closing the door. "Even I got hit a few times, and she refused to kiss it better."

"You two seriously need to get it together." Taylor mumbled, causing Ashley to cast her a sideways glance and Aiden to raise his eyebrows. "What? You two have been dancing around one another since you were 7."

"We have not."

"Yeah." Ashley nodded. "You really kinda have."

"Whatever." Aiden looked at the three girls and briefly wondered why he didn't have more guy friends. They were less inquisitive and didn't talk about relationships, and stuff. "Let's get something to eat and wait for Taylor's dad to get here."

* * *

Grey was unusually crowded for a Sunday night, but Ashley had insisted her favourite people had to come on a night out with her. Taylor had declined, saying she was suffering from jet-lag, but Ashley knew why she didn't want to be in a club with the girl. She had put the phone down with a sigh and refused to feel guilty about liking somebody else.

Ashley turned to ask Aiden a question, but found he was too busy trying to flirt with a blonde girl at the bar. She raised an eyebrow at his cheeky smile and turned away, letting him enjoy his night. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Spencer walking towards her, smile on her face and drinks in her hand. She set the two glasses down on the table and grabbed a tanned arm.

"I can't believe they served me." She grinned, and it took all Ashley had not to laugh at her friends face. "In Ohio they would practically tell me Pepsi was bad for me." She lifted up her drink and Ashley's eyes trained on her slender throat as she took a large mouthful. She was being obvious and at the moment she didn't care. She moved closer to the girl, and nudged her with her hip so that she was pinned against the hard wood table.

"Well you do look a little older tonight." She stated, both of her hands firmly on the girl's hips and her mouth close to her ear. So the blonde could hear her speak over the music, of course. "Must be you're outfit, or something." She tried to pass it off as a friendly comment, but Spencer's hands were coming to rest around her own waist.

"Is that a good thing?" Spencer pushed her body into the brunettes, hoping for more contact and smiling when Ashley reciprocated.

"Very." She saw blue eyes darken before her and watched as Spencer's lined lips parted, before a tongue came out to wet them. She leant in a little closer before Ashley stopped them both. "You're brothers." She gave a small nod to the table across the room, where Madison and Glen were in the middle of a small argument and Clay and Chelsea were watching amused.

"It's not them I worry about." A slender hand came up and moved a curl away from Ashley's face. "Just my mom." A small smile graced her face, only to be wiped away by a loud bang. Both girls turned around to see Madison storming out of the club, a fallen chair and a scowling Glen left in her wake.

"Looks like King Highs super couple are over." Ashley turned back to Spencer, who was watching as Glen obviously tried to tell Clay he was fine and watched her brother wander off into the crowd for some new love interest.

"They've been over since Madison asked about me being gay. She just wouldn't accept it."

"He's protective, huh?" Spencer nodded. "And he dosen't care that you're gay?"

"He did at first, then he grew up. Clay and my dad accepted it from the beginning but my mom would throw me into a nun's school if she found out LA didn't cure me." She smiled as Ashley rolled her eyes and tugged gently on her hips.

"LA will feed your little 'disease', Carlin. Not cure you."

"I know that now. She's just going to have to accept it." She closed her eyes, hating that even this conversation was getting her mad. Her mother seemed to control her life, even though since being in the city she had seen her once in at least four days.

"Want to go outside?" Ashley asked, worried about Spencer's behaviour. "Get some fresh air?" The blonde nodded and Ashley gently took her hand, leading her outside after signalling to Aiden where she was going. He nodded at her and smiled genuinley as Ashley put a protective hand on the small of Spencer's back; he knew he would get over the blonde and was pleased she was with someone he could trust. Still, it had stung a little his femal best friend had taken his girlfriend. He felt a small hand on his arm and turned back to the girl he had been talking too, he flashed his trademark smile at her and chuckled a little at her blush. He looked behind once more and saw Spencer and Ashley leaving the club; before turning his attention elsewhere.

Spencer walked outside first and stood at the railings, Ashley close behind, each of them thinking of the other and wondering what would be the next best move. They said they had wanted to talk, but what exactly was there to talk about? They liked one another, Aiden, Taylor and Kyla all knew and nobody was close to being hurt. It was just taking that next step.

"Ashley?"

"Yeah." She moved closer to the blonde and tilted her head to the side so she could see her a little better.

"I really missed you whilst you were in New York." Spencer blushed as she spoke and looked out across the parking lot, spotting her brothers car instantly and smiling at the fact she knew he wouldn't leave without her. "Don't leave again."

"Won't." She watched as Spencer turned around and used the movement to press home her advantage. She leant forward and placed her hands on the cold bar behind the blonde, letting the top half of her body lean in close enough to tease her. Making the girl come to her. "So, Madison knows you're gay and you're okay with that? I mean, she is a spiteful bitch."

"I don't know if she does or not. I didn't confirm or deny but I'd quit the squad anyway, I think. They're all small-minded bigots...with too much make-up." She moved her arms behind her and smiled at the small contact with Ashley's fingers. The brunette watched amused, eyes sparkling and a soft smile on her face.

"I agree." She nodded once. "Skip school with me tomorrow?"

"I can't I have a test and so do you."

"Then we'll re-sit it on Tuesday." Ashley pushed forward and leant her forehead against Spencer's. "Please? We can go to the beach and I might even buy you something."

"What if my mom finds out?" She moved her hands and placed them on the brunette's forearms, only now noticing how cold the girl's skin was but how warm her body felt close to hers. "She'd ground me until I'm 20."

"She wont." Ashley shrugged at Spencer's raised eyebrow. "But if she does blame me. I'm used to bad tempered mothers shouting at me."

"That I can believe. You do have a sarcastic chip on your shoulder."

"Cheeky. So, does that mean you'll come with me?" Brown eyes searched blue and Spencer's mouth pulled into an amused smile, her actions betraying her words.

"I can't." She moved her head away from the brunettes.

"You said we should meet up on Monday. Tomorrow is Monday and I'm just suggesting we meet up." She grinned at the blonde, her nose crinkling adorably with the gesture.

"If my mom -"

"I'll cover for you, I promise. I just want to spend the day with you, on our own." There was a long silence before Spencer let out a dramatic sigh and rolled her eyes, causing Ashley to resist the urge to jump on the spot giddily.

"Fine, but you pick me up and bring me home."

"Deal." She kissed Spencer's cheek softly. "I was only kidding about buying you something, you know?"

"You know you'd get me anything I want, Ashley." The brunette looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling and gently taking Spencer's hands within her own.

"Yeah, I probably would."

She kissed the hands that were laced with hers and smiled into the skin. Whatever spell Spencer had her under she wasn't going to fight it, because it felt too good. It was scary and made her heart slam out of her chest, which she figured wasn't too healthy, but it gave her butterflies and she could feel herself changing.

Spencer Carlin would be the end of the old Ashley Davies, and she couldn't wait another second for it.


	23. Give Anything

**23.**

Spencer sat on her bed, fully clothed a bag with towels and extra clothes (if needed) at her side and waited for Ashley to turn up. They had set a time for Ashley to arrive, but when she had first met the girl she had quickly learnt under Aiden's wise words that 'to know Ashley was to wait for Ashley.'

And the Davies girl made good on the waiting.

She had told Glen and Clay the night before she was getting a lift from a friend and they needn't take her to school, which Glen had been happy about. According to her blonde brother; she took too long in the morning. Which generally translated to; "Now I don't have time to mack on Mads before class!"

Speaking of the cheerleader. Spencer had found herself being text by the Latina, late last night, asking her to stay on the squad. Apparently she was one of the best and Madison couldn't afford to lose her, not with a competition around the corner and the chance to get noticed. Spencer had told her when she re-evaluated herself she would think about it, until then she wouldn't cheer for a homophobe and a hypocrite.

A door slammed downstairs and quick as a flash the Carlin household seemed to come to life, parents woke, brothers got ready for school and Spencer already missed the quiet. She could hear Clay in his room, talking on the phone (probably to Chelsea) and making sure he had everything for school.

She heard a yelled 'hurry up, Clay' from Glen at the bottom of the stairs and a few moments later another door slammed shut as her brothers made an exit. Sure they were close, but Spencer hadn't expected a goodbye and she found it weird how it was just accepted. She could hear her father downstairs, putting away the bedding from the couch he had slept on and her mother in the bathroom humming a tune she couldn't place.

Her phone vibrated and she smiled as she saw it was a message from Ashley, claiming she was outside with bagels and she needed to get her ass into gear. The girl wasn't late per se, but they had planned on going half-an-hour earlier than this the night before.

She grabbed her things and quickly made her way downstairs, only to be stopped at the bottom by her dad holding a plate of toast.

"Breakfast first, young lady." He smiled at her but Spencer could see the bags under his eyes and the deep wrinkles next to his mouth. Back in Ohio he was always fresh faced and bright, but he had changed. Though her parents tried to hide it, for reasons unknown, she could see the breakdown of their marriage and though it was an awful thing to say; she couldn't wait until her dad was back to normal. Even if it meant he was single.

"Ashley's waiting."

"She can come in."

"I can eat and run." She stood defiantly and went to snatch a piece of toast, only to have it pulled away from her. "Dad, come on."

"I want to meet the young lady who is so insistent on driving my baby to school. And whom aforementioned baby can't stop talking about." Spencer raised a challenging eyebrow to that last statement but she knew it was true. Most conversations she started at the dinner table began with the statement 'you'll never guess what Ashley said today...'

"She isn't patient."

"Neither was your last girlfriend - didn't stop me meeting her, now, did it?" Arthur Carlin smiled as he crunched a piece of toast and watched his daughters face drain of colour and her mouth fall open, in a very unattractive manner.

"I - she...we're not...friend?" She stuttered, still staring wide-eyed at her father.

"It's okay, Spence." His voice lowered as the bathroom door swung open. "I had a feeling it wasn't a phase back home, you know?"

"But mom -" His eyes softened under his child's scared look and he wrapped her in a one-armed hug.

"She'll come around. She's just under a lot of pressure from work, here and in Ohio." An impatient knock on the front door broke the moment and in one quick gesture he swung open the door to Ashley. "You're still our little Spencer."

"God Carlin my ass has practically gone numb waiting for your sorry..." Ashley quickly clicked that it wasn't her blonde beauty she was talking to. No, instead this was a man with dark hair and green eyes; munching a piece of toast and wearing a slight smirk. "Hi Mister Carlin."

"Call me Arthur." He opened the door wider and instantly saw the shy expression on his daughters face and the smile on his visitors. It was obvious breakfast was the last thing on either girls mind. "Fine, don't have toast. Now go before I change my mind." He put a hand on Spencer's shoulder and navigated her out of the house. He had a feeling that without that direction she was bound to hit the doorframe, or trip over herself.

"I'll see you tonight, dad."

"Bye Mr. Arthur."

"Girls, wait." The two halted from their practical sprint down the garden path and turned slowly, as if they had been caught. "Spence, what I said before about meeting her I meant." He smiled at the red stain that coated Spencer cheeks and the confused expression on the brunette's pretty features.

"Ashley this is dad. Dad this is Ashley. He's nice and makes good chili - She...sings." She sent an apologetic look Ashley's way at her awful attempt at describing her and turned to her dad. "We good now?"

"Almost." He took a step towards them and almost laughed out loud when Spencer almost made a lunge for Ashley's hand. "I'm making that lasagna tonight. Do you want to join us, Ashley?"

"Dad -"

"Sure, free food always sounds good." Brown eyes widened. "Not that I'd ever take stuff from people for granted.' Cause I don't do that. In fact I give people things...Like Kyla, once I gave her my guitar - but she broke it..."

Being a counselor, Arthur knew Ashley was trying to impress him by not sounding bad in front of her girlfriends, or potential girlfriends, father. He hadn't decided if they were together or not yet, though the attraction was obvious. He watched the young girl trip over her words and flail her hands around like the world was about to end. To say he was amused would be an understatement.

"...And, you know, I'll help clean up after." She flashed him a smile which quickly faded under Spencer's confused glare. "What?"

"A simple yes or no would have sufficed, Ash."

"Oh." She smiled shyly. "Yes."

"Be home for six, girls." He shook his head at the pair and turned around, heading back to the house. He shut the front door with a smile playing on his lips and found himself face to face with his wife.

"Who was that girl with Spencer?"

"Her friend." He brushed past her, not wanting this conversation to flare up again. According to Paula he was too lenient with Spencer's sexuality, as were their sons.

"_Girlfriend?_"

"A friend who is a girl. Call her what you want, Paula." He made his way upstairs to get ready for work, he had a session with a teenaged boy in less than an hour and he had to make himself presentable and worry-free.

"Whatever happened to that Aiden boy? He was nice." She reached into her bag and made sure everything was there.

"He wasn't her type." He turned at the top of the stairs and saw blue eyes staring at him. A few years ago he would have melted under that gaze, his heart would have pounded and he would stutter out a compliment to make her smile. Now it confused him; because he no longer knew his own wife. A woman he had married over 18 years ago.

"Well then...What would be her type?"

"Tanned brunettes with a runaway mouth." He shrugged when she gave him a patented head tilt, showing she was confused. "Are you home for dinner?"

"I'm not sure. I'll try." He picked up her car keys and made to leave the house, before he called after her.

"Don't put yourself out for your family or anything, dear." The door shut with a louder slam than it was supposed to and he shook his head.

Women.

* * *

"I'm so hot!" Ashley wined from Spencer right side. They had stopped off to buy drinks and chips earlier, and had spent the rest of the time talking or sunbathing. The sun was high beaming down and Ashley decided she didn't like how hot it had gotten.

"What did you expect? Snow?" Spencer turned to her, squinting under the suns glare and watching as the brunette shrugged. With brown eyes closed, Spencer let herself have the enjoyment of scanning over Ashley's body. She dragged her eyes from painted toe nails, up past firm thighs and a taught stomach. They stopped briefly at her chest, before her cheeks flushed and she moved up a neck, past soft lips and into amused eyes.

"Like what you see?" Ashley sat up on her elbows and smirked at the blonde. The tanned girl was confident with her body; as soon as they had hit the beach she had stripped into a small black bikini and proceeded to march up and down the beach looking for a good spot. Spencer had seen the impressed looks from guys and girls alike, but it had made her heart swell when Ashley grabbed her hand and those looks turned to ones of jealousy.

"No, I'm just seeing what second best looks like." She teased a smile on her face.

"Second best?" Ashley's hand flew up to her chest and she faked shock. "Who would be number one?"

"Me. Naturally." She spoke in a ridiculous English accent that had Ashley laughing and shaking her head. "Don't agree?"

"Oh, trust me Carlin." Spencer froze as Ashley blatantly checked her out and moved closer to her, a tongue peeking out to wet sun dry lips. "I agree one hundred percent." Eyes flicked to lips and Ashley bit her own, trying to settle her racing heart.

"Coming from little Miss. Egomaniac, I'll take it as a compliment."

"You can take it anyway you want. I'm easy." She smirked and lay back down on her beach towel, leaving Spencer panting at how close they were. How close their half-naked sweaty bodies were, on a practically deserted beach.

"So I've heard."

"Don't believe everything you hear, Spencer." She raised one hand dismissively, but let it drop down onto Spencer's exposed thigh causing it to send ripples of desire all over her body. "I can surprise you."

"I hope you will." Spencer managed to answer, before also laying down on her towel; this time much closer to the brunette.

* * *

Spencer eyes were closed and Ashley couldn't help but look at the girl beside her. She watched the steady rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed and Ashley smiled at the innocent features on the girls face. She had been battling the urge to kiss her all day, but she didn't want to fight it anymore. Afterall, why should she when they both wanted it?

Quietly she moved onto her knees and then crawled the short distance to the blonde. She lifted a hand and slowly stroked down a sun kissed cheek, so not to startle the poor girl and watched as blue eyes fluttered open and then focused on her. She swallowed thickly when they immediately darkened and wondered if hers were the same.

"Hey." Spencer croaked out and Ashley didn't hold back the large smile that broke through.

"Hi." She slowly positioned herself so she was above the girl, not wanting to scare her away, and made sure the bottom half of her body stayed on her own towel, only centimeters away.

"What are you doing?" She hadn't moved from her position and Ashley panicked that she was doing the wrong thing. Was she being forward?

"I want to kiss you."

"Oh." Finally the girl moved and Ashley almost moaned out loud when the blondes back arched beneath her so she could be more comfortable. A silence grew between them and a glint in Spencer eyes caught her attention. "Ashley?"

"Hmm?"

"When are you planning on kissing me? Or do we have to have a conversation about wanting to do it everytime we are abo -" She was cut off from strawberry flavored lips molding to hers and finding a rhythm so quick that Spencer wondered how her body knew to instinctively kiss back.

It deepened quicker than either expected but both took it slow, hands trailed and soft whimpers were let loose into the others mouth. Ashley became uncomfortable with their positioning and moved; knowing that by swinging her leg over Spencer could break the kiss. And she didn't want to do that. Air was becoming an issue though and she took the risk, breaking their lips and rolling herself on top of the blonde. Small hands ran down Ashley's back to let her know it was okay and she claimed the pale neck beneath her with her lips.

Her fingers dove into the sand below Spencer's head and tangled with the small grains there as she tasted salt and sweat. She reached a shoulder before she stopped her activities, licking her lips and savoring the moment.

"Why'd you stop?" Ashley's head snapped up and she felt dizzy. She knew Spencer was sexy, but when her voice was deep like that she didn't know what to do.

"Cause...If I continued I wouldn't be able to stop at all."

"Would that be a bad thing?" Spencer innocently tilted her head and once again Ashley got that dizzy feeling. This girl was going to be the death of her. How could one look so innocent and yet so hot all at once?

"No, Spencer. I wouldn't have been able to stop." She tried to emphasize her point but found that lying on top of a panting girl didn't really seal the deal.

"Thanks for re-wording that for it to make sense." She smiled at Ashley and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

"I don't want our first time to be on a beach, after our thrid kiss." Ashley stated as blunt as she could without screaming 'I want to fuck you so you only know my name.' into the open air. She wasn't used to this taking her time business but Spencer made it worthwhile. She knew how sleeping with a girl was a huge deal, hell she had been that girl once.

"Oh." She didn't sound convinced but her eyes lit up only a second later. "Ohh, that's why you stopped, Oh. Yeah, because that would be...and we don't want that."

"No." Ashley smiled at the girls little ramble and raised an eyebrow as she continued.

"Because we haven't even defined what we are yet. I don't want to assume, because you know what they say - but I like my assumption of what we are. Then again if you haven't come to that conclusion then I can totally understand why you stopped." She nodded once as if everything she just said made sense. Ashley slowly moved off of Spencer but stayed close, making sure she didn't stray too far.

"What's your assumption then?"

"That we're...you know, dating?" She blushed hotly and tried to hide her face, but was stopped by a soft hand bringing blue eyes around to meet soft brown.

"I thought that too." She smiled and got one in return.

"Good. So are we?"

"Dating? I hope so."

"Yeah..." Spencer moved in and Ashley happily caught her lips with her own. She found herself being pushed back and fleetingly thought about the time, but it was all pushed aside when Spencer tongue begged for entrance.

Another twenty minutes couldn't hurt.

* * *

Paula Carlin finally found her cell phone at the bottom of her black leather bag after much cursing and eye-rolling. During the day she had assisted on two operations and patched up so many people that she had to wonder how LA citizens became so...clumsy.

"Paula Carlin." She breathed into the phone, sitting down for the first time in two hours.

"Hello, Mrs. Carlin? This is Susan Brown from King High, I manage student attendance." A brisk female voice spoke to her down the phone and Paula brought her fingers up to her eyes and massaged away the forming headache.

"Yes, how can I help?"

"It seems your daughter Spencer didn't turn up to school today. This is just a phonecall to enquire as to where she is."

...

**There you go, chapter 23 - Hope you liked?**

**I'm going to do proper feedback as soon as I can but for now, thanks for all of your reviews :)**

**Next chapter I'll probably start doing it, so I'll personally thank reviewers from there onwards; but I love you all, seriously.**


	24. Save Me

**Side note: Ashley's plan has actually worked in real-life. It was fun.**

"She's going to kill me."

"Calm down."

"She's going to kill me, then cover you in holy water and then bury me in the backyard."

"Calm dow – Holy water? Carlin, what the hell?"

"What?" In her current state of hyperventilation Spencer was in no mood to be told what to do. Especially by the girl who got her into this mess, no matter how talented her mouth was. Ashley quickly recoiled from her girlfriend and blinked a couple of times to clear her nerves.

"Don't worry, Spence. She might not even know."

"Clay wouldn't phone me telling me that my mom is freaking out about me not being in school for fun, Ashley." She ran a hand through her hair and slapped it down to her side. "You know she'll blame you, right? And I won't get to see you again."

"Don't be stupid." That earned her a spine-chilling glare from frosty eyes. "Look, I told you I wouldn't let you get into trouble and you won't."

"She already knows, Ashley. How are you going to change that? What possible excuse can you come up with?"

Soft fingers cupped a pale cheek and thumbs expertly ran across Spencer's lips. Ashley refused to look away until their gazes were locked, and only when they were did the older girl speak.

"I'll think of something, okay? I won't let you get into trouble." She smiled softly at the blonde and received a small smile in return.

"She'll hate you and tell me I can't see you again." Ashley looked at her confused and Spencer nuzzled into her warm palm as she continued. "She did it with my last girlfriend, but that was after she had found out about us and locked me in the house for a week."

"Ouch." Unwilling to wait any longer, Ashley leant forward and captured Spencer's lips with hers. "What was that girl like?"

"I don't know." She pointed comment came with a shrug.

"Did you like, love her or anything?"

"Why? Jealous?" Spencer smirked as Ashley's eyes widened imperceptibly and something flashed across her face.

"No, but I am curious." This time it was Spencer who leant forward and kissed Ashley on the tip of her nose, smiling as Ashley's eyes closed if only for a moment.

"I didn't love her; we weren't together for long enough. She made me feel more than anyone I dated before her, though." Spencer smiled a little. "So you have some catching up to do."

"I'm not good at catching up, but I'll do my best." She smiled softly. "Now go, get your cute behind into my car. I have a school secretary to phone and a situation to defuse."

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"Babe, I'm Ashley Davies."

--

Spencer practically dragged Ashley into her house when they both saw Paula's car in the driveway. The whole way Spencer had been a nervous wreck about her mom finding out, but when Ashley assured her she had Kyla and Aiden do a favour for her she had relaxed. Only the tension had to go somewhere and it went straight to Ashley.

"What if she finds out I like kissing you?" The brunette pouted her voice below a whisper as they sat in Spencer's room. Paula was in the shower and dinner wasn't for another twenty minutes, they had time to spare. Or freak out.

"How will she?" Spencer flicked another page of her magazine and glanced up at her girlfriend.

"She's a doctor." Ashley reasoned and furrowed her eyebrows when Spencer gave her a look which questioned her mental state. "Well, she is."

"I'm supposed to be the one freaking out, Ash. If she finds out I skipped school she's going to ground me forever."

"I told you, I've sorted it."

"How?" Spencer raised an eyebrow and then cut Ashley off who had just opened her mouth. "And don't say you're Ashley Davies."

"I'm experienced in skipping?" She smiled at the girl and shuffled the small area across the bed to her. "I do this a lot, you see." Her accent was one even she couldn't place.

"So you take all the girls you're attracted to for a day at the beach?" She pushed the magazine off the side of the bed and stretched her legs to the sides.

"Only the ones I like." Ashley moved in closer, so their noses were touching and almost hit herself for the goofy smile that spread across her face. She was calm, cool and collected. Not fuzzy, warm and goofy.

"So you like me then?" She placed her hand on Ashley's exposed arm and smiled at how warm it was to touch. A reminder of the day they spent together.

"Maybe." Spencer leant in and kissed Ashley softly, before pulling away just the smallest amount.

"Just maybe?"

"No, I'm pretty certain actually." She lifted her hand and tangled her fingers in Spencer's hair, pulling her closer and forcing their mouths together. Spencer hesitated at the quick assault but soon grew used to the now familiar feeling of Ashley's lips on hers. Her stomach still clenched at the intrusion but it felt too good to pull away.

"Spencer, dinner is ready. You and Ashley need to come downstairs." Glen knocked loudly on the door four times as he shouted. The two sprung apart and Glen made his way into the room, eyes closed and one hand out so he could find where he was going. "Did you hear me?" With his eyes still closed he didn't see the two girls sorting themselves out.

"I'm sure our neighbours heard you."

"Didn't he die recently?" He questioned, the hand that was directing him now fanned across his eyes.

"Exactly." Spencer stood up and held out her hand to help Ashley up, which was taken gratefully. "Why have you got your eyes closed?"

"In case I see things that a brother shouldn't see his little sister doing." He kept his voice low, even though Paula had made her way downstairs five minutes earlier. "Ever." He added empathically.

"Don't worry, only I'm naked." Ashley reassured, to which a grin broke out on Glen's face and his hand came away from his eyes quickly.

"Well that's okay then." He frowned at the fully dressed girl in front of him. "Your not -- hey!" He recoiled quickly when Spencer punched him on his arm. "What?"

"Why is it okay if Ashley's naked?"

"Because one, baby that would be incestuous." Ashley clarified, talking slowly as if to a child. "And two, I'm hot." She finished with a shrug, moving away quickly form Spencer who hit her on the back of the head gently.

"It's true." Glen agreed, walking behind them. "I'll never understand how you get better looking girls than me." He furrowed his eyebrows and thought about that as he walked downstairs.

"Because all the girls you date are wh..." She caught sight of her parents and quickly changed her last word. "Wholesome cheerleaders."

"They're full of a whole lot of something, alright." Ashley muttered, smiling gratefully at Arthur as he pushed out a chair for her. "Thanks."

--

Dinner passed slowly, but all of them could feel a tension looming over them. Paula's initial reaction to Ashley being there was to ask if she had been the girl at the hospital, to which she replied yes and received a glare in response. They had prayed but Ashley had spent the time watching Spencer with her eyes closed, only to blush and close her eyes when she saw Arthur looking at her and signalling for her to look away.

"So, Spencer, I had a phone call from the school today." Spencer almost broke the plate with her knife but looked up at her mom, as Ashley chewed her bread silently. "They said they didn't have you down as attending any lessons." Paula glanced over to Ashley, who waved at her with a piece of bread and then turned back to her daughter.

"Oh?"

"Yes, Mrs. Brown seemed to suggest there was no absence slip of any kind either." Paula folded her hands in front of her plate and leveled her gaze across the table. "Where were you?" Once again she looked over at Ashley, who sipped at her water and then cleared her throat.

"There is no woman who works in reception named Mrs. Brown." Ashley smiled. "But there is a man called Derek."

Spencer eyes bugged out. Not only had Ashley taken her out during a school day but now she was sat at a dinner table, in front of a Catholic cross, lying bare faced to her mother. It would have been wrong if she didn't find it a little hot. The rest of the table stayed silent, neither Glen nor Clay could stick up for Spencer being at school or not because it wasn't rare that they didn't see each other during the day and Arthur had seen them leave together.

"I'm sorry Ashley but I received a phone call today."

"Well I dropped your daughter off at school today." She stabbed a carrot with her fork and popped it into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully and refusing to look away from the older woman. "How old did the woman sound?"

"I'm not sure, why is that relevant?" It was obvious she didn't like to be argued with and Paula bristled under the attention this girl was getting for sticking up for herself.

"Because, I didn't attend today and Madison could be stirring something up." She lifted her glass to her lips again and smiled sweetly. "She's moronic like that."

"But I received a phone call." Paula stood her ground.

"Well Derek is also my guidance counselor, very multi-talented that man, I have his cell phone number if you'd like to check." She offered, causing Spencer to choke on whatever it was she was eating at the time and send her a wary look.

"I might just do that. I'll phone in the morning." She hoped the threat of phoning would scare off the brunette hellion but it only got her a wider smile.

"I'll give you the number after dinner then."

--

"Are you picking me up in the morning?" Spencer asked as Ashley stood in the doorway. The brunette scrunched her nose up as she pretended to think about it, and rocked back on her heels a little.

"If I have to." She looked past Spencer and saw Paula standing under the archway, watching the two closely. "Your mom is freaking me out a little."

"She thinks you're my girlfriend." The blonde said wide-eyed, a look of shock crossed over Ashley's face.

"You're not my type, sorry."

"Too bad, that would really piss her off." She whispered, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips, transfixing Ashley for a few moments.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning." Ashley walked away slowly and waved, before turning around and walking to her car. Spencer shut the door and smiled to herself before turning around to look at her mother.

"What?"

"If this 'Derek' says you weren't at school you're going to be in trouble, Spencer." She warned.

"Well I was, and now I'm going to finish the homework that I was set during school today." Spencer walked up the stairs and tried to calm her erratic heartbeat. Derek wasn't even a real person so how was he going to say she was at school? She sat on her bed and did the only thing she could.

She trusted Ashley.

--

"Hello?"

"I've totally given your number to Spencer's mom."

"Why?"

"She's hot."

"I have to pretend to be your guidance counselor again don't I?"

"You love it."

"You owe me."

"Whatever you want."

"Oh, I'll think of something."

"You're the best, Aiden. You know I'd do the same for you."

"I know. Now I'm going to bed if I'm going to have some crazy mother on my phone again in the morning."

"Love you." She chirped and put the phone down. Aiden had her back in these situations and there had been many times she had covered for him in the past.

Plus, she wasn't about to let Spencer down.

She meant to much too her.


	25. I'm In Trouble, Kyla

"First pet?"

"A hamster, it drowned."

"How the hell did your hamster drown?"

"I was cleaning it's cage."

Ashley shrugged her shoulders as if that answered everything. How was she, at six years old, meant to know that you were supposed to put the hamster somewhere safe before washing the cage? Honestly, any rodent could have fallen into the sink.

And gone unnoticed.

While the tap ran with the plug in.

Aladdin was playing in the background so Ashley could hardly be held responsible for those actions. Anyway, she assumed that the maid had taken care of the little thing until that very same woman walked into the living room looking a little worse for wear. She explained the death of the hamster to Ashley, who in her six year old spoilt way shrugged and told her she would 'get daddy to buy a new one.'

Come to think of it, she never did get the hamster. After the divorce her mom didn't pay that much attention and her dad threw money at her.

That being spoilt stage quickly vanished when she came out.

"We had a dog called Scamp, like off of lady and the tramp." Spencer told her. "He was adorable but he hated Glen."

The sun was setting and Ashley looked across to admire Spencer's features. She knew she was talking, she could see the hand gestures and her mouth moving, but she had no idea what line of conversation the blonde was going down. They had come out to the park after dinner, Ashley had picked up Spencer from her house and had been greeted by a scowl from her mother, a smile from her father and a respective nod from her brothers; who were too busy playing some car thing. Spencer turned to her and the top of her nose scrunched up when she narrowed her eyes against the sun behind Ashley.

"Were you even listening to me?" They were sat on the front of Ashley's car, even after Spencer had insisted she couldn't sit on something so pretty. Ashley had stared blankly until Spencer had hopped up onto the car, much to the brunettes pleasure. There seriously was something about a hot girl on a hot car that made her all tingly inside.

"You were talking about Scamp."

"And?" She prompted, causing Ashley to raise an eyebrow indicating she had no clue. "Nevermind, dosen't matter." She sighed a little and leant back on her forearms.

"No, tell me. I want to know." She shifted a little towards the blonde. "I want to know everything, all the little details and all the gross bits."

"Gross bits?"

"I want to know Spencer Carlin." She put her head down on Spencer's chest and relaxed under the slow breathing of the girl. "It's weird, I've never felt like this with anyone."

"Like what?" The blonde began to run her fingers through Ashley's hair, much to the other girls elated happiness.

"Just so...peaceful, relaxed I guess." She tilted her head so she could see her. "Usually I lay my charm on thick and get whatever out of it. With you I'm pretty much content to just sit here, watch the sunset and talk about Scamp and my poor hamster." She felt a kiss placed on the top of her head and smiled as Spencer moved closer to her.

"So, I'm not one of those girls you want to romance, screw and throw away?"

"Oh no, I want to romance you. But definitely not throw you away, you're too special." She planted a kiss on the girls t-shirt covered chest and looked back out to the pink clouds and red landscape.

"And the second part, what about that?" Spencer's nerves got the better of her and her voice cracked a little as she spoke, but Ashley showed no movement as to pounce on her nor make fun of her. She just laid there, continuing to stare at nothing.

"When you're ready, Spence." She spoke quietly, but still did not move.

"You'll wait?" She sighed with relief. She wasn't a stranger to sex, her and Aiden had their own little share after she had given herself to him. Her boyfriends in Ohio tried to go further so she knew the feeling of pleasure and she knew what it was like to be with a girl, but not all the way. That scared her and her girlfriend at the time, so they left that part out of their short-lived relationship. Of course, there had been groping here and there - they were teenagers. But nothing compared to what she wanted to do with Ashley; and that scared her.

"As long as I have to." Finally she moved, sitting up and crossing her legs she faced Spencer on the car. "Believe me when I say I want to be with you, because you're pretty hot Carlin." She smiled at the laugh that came from her girl. "But it's a big step to take and I usually act as though it's meaningless. We have something here Spencer and I don't want to throw that away, so I'll wait."

"Thank you."

"But I am impatient." She leant forward suddenly and stole a warm kiss from Spencer. "So, I'll have to make do with a whole load of kisses won't I?"

"And you don't mind?" Spencer lay back, recognizing Ashley's movements of wanting to be closer. After two weeks of being with the girl, Spencer had quickly come to learn that Ashley wasn't one for heavy conversation and then something serious. She would rather be serious and then make out until neither could think properly. Ashley quickly positioned herself on top of Spencer and looked down into shy eyes, it was obvious she cared that Ashley was waiting.

"No, as long as I get to kiss you." She once more let her lips fall to Spencer's, slowly making it deeper before pulling back abruptly. "And touch you." She moved her hands beneath the blue and yellow top the girl was wearing. "And hold you." Pulling her closer she emphasized that last statement. "I'll be perfectly happy."

"Are you sure?" Spencer bit her lip as Ashley contained an eye roll. "I'm sorry...I just -"

"Spencer, I want you, I won't lie - I really do, but I'm going to wait until you're sure you want me."

"What if I do but I'm just not ready?" This time Ashley's eye roll came out full force.

"We've been over this. I'll wait. Now shut up, Carlin, we're wasting good make out time before I have to get you home." She gasped when Spencer grabbed her jacket and pulled her down roughly against her body, muttering something about making the most of it before their lips met and they became lost in the other.

--

Madison smiled at Paula as she made her way into the Carlin household. She wasn't one to grovel but she kind of liked Glen and since Aiden was spending more and more time with Kyla now that Ashley was doing whatever with whomever, she needed attention. She thanked Paula politely as she was offered a glass of juice and waited downstairs like the good girl as Glen took his shower.

"So, why did Spencer leave the team?" The woman sure got to her point and it startled Madison for a moment, before she quickly got back into her act and continued with her routine.

"We had a disagreement. I told her that hanging around that Ashley girl would be a bad decision but she disagreed and walked away from the squad." She shook her head sadly and watched as the cogs began to turn in the older Carlin's mind. Leaning forward the woman made eye contact with the cheerleader and slowly took the glass from her hands.

"Why would being friends with Ashley be a bad decision for my daughter, Madison?"

"Ashley's a decent girl, mom." Glen huffed as he walked into the kitchen. He had heard the conversation and knew Madison would say something, but he was sick of the arguing and the crying. "She gets good grades, people like her - except Madison here - and she hasn't done anything wrong. Spencer's fine."

"Why don't you like her?" Paula looked confused as the two teenagers glared at one another.

"We fell out over something a few years ago." Madison claimed. "We just don't get along." She looked away for a moment before hardening her face and turning to Glen, once more. "Can we talk, baby?"

"I'm not your baby." Glen stole an apple and took a large bite from it.

"Please?"

"Whatever." He shrugged and made his way into the living room, followed quickly by the Latina. "What do you want?" He asked once he had swallowed the hard fruit.

"You, Glen. I miss us." She stepped forward and placed her palms onto his chest, looking at him with wide eyes. "I miss you." Instead of answering he took another bite from his apple and looked towards the window as Ashley pulled up. He could barely make it out but he saw the older girl lean over and kiss his sisters cheek, he caught her smile though and smiled himself.

"Look, Madison, it's not going to work. So go to Aiden, or Jake, or Leo I really don't care but don't come to me." He pushed her away gently.

"But Glen - We're good together."

"No, you only think we're good together because I'm on the team and you're a cheerleader." He took another bite from his apple much to the annoyance of the girl in front of him. "Plus, I'm kind of seeing someone now."

"Who?" Madison's nostrils flared at the sentence and Glen paused for a moment, his thoughts lingering on the fact that the girl could actually be a little jealous.

"You don't know her." He raised his apple at Spencer who walked into the living room. "Hey sis."

"Hey. Madison, what are you doing here?" She furrowed her eyebrows a little but stayed at the door. She surveyed the scene before taking two and two and making seven. "Oh, ohh - I'll leave you."

"Spencer wait." Madison walked towards her, instantly forgetting the apple munching basketball player behind her. "Have you thought a little more about re-joining the squad? The girls miss you."

"What is it with you and missing people?" Glen asked, plopping down onto the sofa and putting his feet up. Enjoying the fact he could, his father was in the study and his mom was doing some work in the kitchen, or something. The television was all his.

"Come on, Spence."

"Why, do you suddenly accept my friendship with Ashley now?" She tilted her head to the side and awaited a response, which didn't come. "Exactly." She turned to walk away but a soft hand on her wrist stopped her.

"I don't care who you're friends with, Spencer. You're one of our best cheerleaders." She let go of her wrist and stepped forward. "Please? I don't usually keep asking like this, you're special." Spencer was quickly transported to earlier in the evening when Ashley had called her the same thing.

"Yeah, Ashley's told me that too. I like hearing it from her better." She shook her head before looking at the girl in front of her. "I'll think about it, but this feud you have with her really needs to stop."

"If she dosen't get in my face I won't get in hers." Madison watched the girl shrug before walking away, she heard her greet her mom before a fridge opened and she reappeared only to walk upstairs.

"Are you finished trying to make people do things your way now?" Glen asked from his position on the couch. She scoffed at him before heading to the door. When it came to cheerleading she would track down the best, but when it came to boys? No, she wouldn't beg.

--

"I'll speak to you tomorrow." Ashley smiled as she talked down the phone, much to the amusement of her cousin who was sat with her on the bed. "Yes, yes, okay Spencer I won't be late. I promise. Sweet dreams, beautiful." She clicked the phone shut slowly and stared at it a moment too long, causing Kyla to emit a long 'aw' sound.

"You're totally smitten over her." Kyla cooed, just as Aiden walked through the door carrying a tray of drinks and snacks. Ashley watched them interact, Kyla blushing and Aiden trying to be cute. It would be sweet if it wasn't her cousin and her best friend.

"You two need me to leave or something?" She asked, which caused them both to fumble a little and stutter over their echoing 'no, of course not.'

"I have to go anyway." Aiden leant forward and kissed Ashley on the cheek, and then Kyla. "I have a paper due tomorrow that only has a title and my name." He jumped up from the bed and made his way to the DVD rack. "Thanks for letting me borrow this." He smiled at Ashley.

"I didn't."

"You owe me, remember." He raised his eyebrows and Ashley nodded, before frowning.

"I let you drive my Porsche when I picked you up from practice tonight." She shook her head but knew Aiden would take the DVD anyway. He had phoned her needing a ride home but they had gone back to Ashley's, to find Kyla waiting outside. Like they used to in the past, they talked about everything in Ashley's bedroom.

"Thanks for not killing me when I almost crashed."

"Yoga helps. Well that and I kind of like you." She sneered. "Now leave, you're face is scaring my cousin. Or turning her on, I'm not sure." For that remark she got a pillow thrown at her. They said their respective goodbyes to the boy, before silence grew on them.

"I like him."

"Really?" Ashley faked shock and put a hand to her mouth.

"Shut up. Nothing will come of it." She picked at the comforter. "I don't think anyway."

"He likes you. Just see what happens." Ashley advised, slapping Kyla's hands away from picking her sheet to death.

"What about you and Spencer, how's that going?"

"Good, really good, great even." She beamed at her cousin. "It's, really, really...nice." She fell over herself as the words tumbled out.

"Nice?" Kyla pursed her lips at the word. "Nice is something you say to nana when she gives us jumpers at Christmas."

"Shut up, I can't explain it. It just feels nice." She sighed and paused for the longest time. Kyla watched, waiting quietly, knowing that Ashley was building up to something. "I'm in trouble, Kyla."

"Why?"

"It's only been two weeks." Ashley blinked and then frowned. "Maybe longer in my terms." She bit her lip. "Yeah, I've been in trouble for longer than two weeks."

"What?" The girl was confused and she placed a hand on her cousins. "You can tell me."

"I know." She smiled and paused once more, taking time to try and figure out how to say what she wanted to say. "I know." She repeated.

"Why are you in trouble, Ash?" Kyla pushed a little, knowing it would either be the way or Ashley would close up. "What's wrong?"

"I think I love her." She finally said. "I love Spencer."


	26. Black, Black Heart

**Chapter 26? Well, were slowing down on the drama for a while but it's going to start up before the ending. Which is close, can't see it yet but it's in the distance.**

**Not a fan of this chapter, no planning went into it at all but I thought I'd write something at least.**

**Thanks for the reviews so so much. I know I've promised a proper FOF and I will do one, but I just keep forgetting. I have another doc. saved that has them on but I just -- Eh, I don;t know. I will do a proper one though, promise.**

**26. Black Black Heart.**

A small moan tumbled from Spencer's lips as Ashley continued to nip and suck at her neck. The two had decided to go out for the day, but Ashley had gotten them as far as the front door before launching an all out assault on Spencer's neck. She couldn't be blamed though; the blonde had been modeling her new top in Ashley's bedroom and then simply walked down the stairs as if she hadn't affected the girl at all.

She was either very stupid or very clever.

"Ash..." Spencer breathed out, unable to continue as Ashley's nimble fingers lifted her t-shirt a little higher; her stomach muscles flexed under the soft touch of the brunette. "Wait, I thought we were...I thought...Kyla." She let her arms be pushed above her head and Ashley's body fell right into place against hers, one knee was in perfect position and Ashley quickly used it to her advantage.

It had been a week since she had admitted to Kyla that she was in love with the blonde girl. A week since her cousin grabbed her and jumped around saying that Ashley was _"just too adorable." _She wasn't sure of what to do though. Should she tell Spencer? Hope for the best and accept whatever answer she was given? Or should she just wait it out a little longer?

She wanted the timing to be right, because Spencer deserved more than a random text in the middle of the night which stated the brunettes love for her. She wanted it to be face to face so she could judge the reaction and know if she should run or not.

Another moan caused Ashley to sigh against soft skin. She had moved her kisses to the dip in Spencer's t-shirt, only as far as the girl usually let her go. She had yet to see the blonde topless, not counting that one time at the party. To be truthful, it was driving Ashley a little crazy with desire. She wanted Spencer, wanted to taste her and touch her but she knew better than to push. So she would wait, until then she would deal with these small moments.

"Ashley, dear, would you please tell -- Oh, who are you?" Ashley pulled back quickly from the blonde at the sound of her mother's voice. As usual the woman was dressed in a pricey business suit, topped with her 80's hairstyle and shining diamond ring.

"Mom this is Spencer." She motioned to the blushing girl who was sorting out her t-shirt and peeling herself from the side of the wall. "Spencer, this is my mom."

"Hi I'm sorry about -"

"Nice to meet you, dear." The older woman gave her a dismissive hand wave and proceeded back to the hand in task. "Ashley, remember when I told you about my trip to London?"

"No."

"Well I told you. You were probably too busy with one of your...friends to notice." She gave Spencer the once over, earning her a glare from her daughter and causing the blonde to look at the floor.

"Whatever, what is it you need to tell me? And why are you even home?" Ashley narrowed her eyes. She was certain her mom was in some other country for a week, or so.

"I came back early because the trip I was telling you about has been put forward." Heels clicked loudly in the marble hallway as she approached her daughter. "I assume you have enough money to hold you over until I get back, right?" Instead of waiting for an answer she dug in her purse and produced several notes. "Not that you need my money, but here I don't want to be told I'm not doing this mother thing correctly." She held out the wad of notes, which was taken by Ashley.

"Thanks mom." She flicked through the roll, there had to be at least 500 there and not one cent did she need. She had her own money, in her own account that she chose not to touch yet. "But you're right I don't need it. And so you know, you don't do this mother thing properly." She reached for Spencer's hand as she put down the cash on the table.

"You don't make it easy. You're not exactly up for daughter of the year, sweetie." Ashley rolled her eyes at the statement and opened the large doors, Spencer following behind with her hand linked with her girlfriends.

"I was until I told you I was gay." She sent a dirty look over her shoulder but she knew the woman would hardly be affected by it. Ashley knew she would probably cry if she died or something, but Christine Davies was not a maternal woman and Ashley was hardly going to try and be a daughter.

"That's not true, Ashley. I told you I don't care that you are. We've just grown apart is all."

"Daughters and their mothers don't grow apart." She dropped Spencer's hand for a second but her heart leapt when the blonde simply linked their fingers once more, showing her support. "I'm sick of waiting around for you to love me again. I need a mom, not a friend."

"Ashley I do --"

"I'll see you when you get back, Christine." The brunette shut the door before the woman could say anything and was in her car before the door opened again. She looked from behind the wheel to see her mother waving at her, a look of remorse on her face and an obvious guilt in her eyes. Ashley sighed loudly and raised a hand in reassurance before setting the car into reverse and making her way out of the driveway.

"Are you okay, Ash?" Spencer voice was small and it caused a smile to break out on the girls face. The blonde was everything that she needed, and then some.

"I'm fine, Spence." She reached across and linked their fingers, bringing the hand to her mouth and kissing the knuckles softly. "I'm sorry you had to see that, though. Especially with everything at home."

"It's okay." Spencer smiled at Ashley's concern, even though it had been her having the argument with her mother. "I'm sorry we were interrupted."

"Yeah, well, next Tuesday will be our one month anniversary." Ashley paused quickly. Was it wrong to remember something like that? Sappy?

"I know, but I was thinking we do something on Saturday instead? Because it's the weekend and...Well -" Spencer hesitated, knowing how Ashley was with commitment and relationships. "I mean, only if you want to."

"Of course I want to, Carlin." She turned onto the main road and set about heading to the mall. They were already twenty minutes late for meeting Kyla but she knew Taylor and Aiden would keep her company until they got there. "Saturday it is then."

"Saturday."

--

"I swear I will break your neck if you don't give me it!" Kyla's distinctive shriek could be heard from across the food court where Spencer and Ashley were only just making theirselves present. They both walked over to the noise to find Aiden in a headlock, chocolate ice-cream held out to the side and Kyla, her face red from exertion, trying desperately to reach the treat over his back . Her short arms stumped her progress though and Aiden still had a smile stuck on his face. He loved teasing the poor girl mercifully.

"Say please, Kyla." He shifted out of her hold and stumbled a few steps back before sticking out his tongue and pulling the ice-cream towards his mouth.

"If you want to keep that tongue I suggest you put it away." She lowered her gaze on the guy and Ashley felt almost like she was watching a bull-fight and any minute now Kyla was going to charge at Aiden.

"Say please." He grinned at her and lifted the cone high in the air as a five-foot four angry blur, also known as Kyla, launched herself at him.

Ashley rolled her eyes and joined Taylor at the table. She was painting her nails and looking up now and again to make sure that Kyla hadn't found out they kept knives in a tray close to where they were sat.

"What's happening?" Ashley asked, beaming when Spencer sat close to her and held her hand in her lap.

"Aiden stole Kyla's ice-cream that she's been having an urge for all day." Taylor looked over in a non-committed way at Kyla and Aiden, who were now panting heavily from running through the tables, and then glanced back to the couple. "I didn't tell him it'd be suicide. You Davies clan are awfully protective over things like that."

"Yeah." Ashley feigned interest in the girl but was more taken by the patterns Spencer was making on her palm.

"Do they always argue like this?" The blonde asked, completely amused by their antics but never ceasing to quit her movements on the wriggling brunette's palm. She had learnt the girl had ticklish hands, but in some weird way she liked when Spencer did it. Still, it made the brunette squirm in her seat.

"Yeah, they've been at it since they were younger." Ashley explained. "We would to go Baltimore, me and Aiden, and do whatever kids do. Play out, climb trees - well they did, because I'm not getting my jeans dirty for them - and it always ended with Kyla getting frustrated with Aiden's teasing."

"I could take that in so many directions." Taylor spoke up, inspecting her nails and then flashing a toothy grin to the pair. "You two are adorable, you know?" She spoke as if her chest wasn't tightening. But the blush on Ashley's cheeks and Spencer biting her lip made it seem less of an issue. They were kind of adorable.

"Yeah, we're hot." Ashley grinned, receiving an eye roll and a scoff in return. A loud curse word filtered to their table and all three looked at each other amused.

"I'm going to make sure Kyla is okay." Spencer leant across and kissed Ashley's cheek briefly, making the brunettes eyes widen. "Don't panic, I only kissed your cheek." She smiled sweetly, before standing up and going over to the two other teenagers.

"So." The lighter brunette smiled, her eyes twinkling with mischief, as she leant forward in her chair. She let her hands rest on her barely covered knees, thanks to her skirt, and let a smirk replace the smile as she stared down Ashley. In front of her the girl shifted uncomfortably and looked over to Spencer, only to find her and Kyla had both ganged up on her best friend.

"So what?"

"A little bird told me a tale, about you." She pointed a finger at Ashley who grabbed it and squeezed a little.

"What do you know and who told you?"

"Hey there Rambo. Scared I know something I shouldn't?"

"I don't get scared." Ashley said, letting go of the finger and moving back in her chair. Her calm image faded as she leant forwards again. "Tell me what you know, please."

"I've heard you're having feelings, big feelings, towards Carlin." They both looked over at the three friends, Spencer and Kyla stood defiant as Aiden sulked in the ice-cream queue. The chocolate one was nowhere to be seen, and Ashley had a feeling she didn't want to ask.

"Uh, who told you?" She decided to try and side-step that question for now.

"I can't say it's confidential." She lifted up her Frappachino, and took a drink when Ashley declined a taste when offered.

"Taylor, please?"

"Oh, calm down." The brunette smiled at her friend and put her drink down. "Nobody told me, I can see it all over your face and judging by your reaction; I'm right." She watched a blush stain Ashley's cheeks, the second of the day and smiled.

"Whatever, it's not a big deal." Unconsciously she kept glancing over to her blonde, making sure she was okay and in eye-sight. She didn't like the feeling of not knowing where she was and missing her presence.

"It so is. Someone has managed to tame Ashley Davies in a matter of weeks that's -"

"Something you've done before." Ashley cut her off, stealing the Starbucks container and taking a sip. She pulled a face. "Do you want any coffee with your sugar?"

"I like it sweet."

"It's an iced coffee. You don't need sugar in it." She argued, handing her back the drink and running her tongue over her lips.

"Tell it to my taste buds." Taylor waved her off. Any uncomfortable tension that was going to settle over Ashley's first comment disappeared and she was grateful for it. But, at the same time, she didn't want Taylor to think she didn't mean anything; because she did. It was just, Spencer was her everything now.

"I'll tell it to your waistline." Looking to her right she saw the trio walking towards her. "Carlin, tell Taylor not to have so much sugar in her coffee."

"Why?" The blonde settled in next to Ashley, as Kyla took place next to Taylor with her freshly bought ice-cream. Aiden stood behind them, muttering about how girls always get what they want and his wallet always ended up being lighter around them.

"Cause it's bad for her."

"So is staying up until 4 writing songs, but you still do it." Spencer pointed out, getting a collective head nod from the group. "And the unhealthy obsession with taking out all the red M&M's, just so you can eat them. They don't taste different."

"They so do! Kyla, tell her they do." Her defensive leap forward was halted by Spencer's arm and she chose not to move. The blonde, once more, cuddled into her side and waited for Kyla to speak.

"Aiden bought me ice-cream with chocolate chips in." Kyla told the group, oblivious to the conversation that was happening around her. "They don't make that much difference." She looked up to see four confused faces looking at her. "What?"

"They taste different and sugar loaded caffeine is bad for you." Ashley started again when no one answered her cousin's question. Just as she knew, a debate happened between the three remaining friends and she got her alone time with Spencer. She felt the blondes lips bump against her ear and didn't hold back the shiver; she wanted Spencer to know what exactly it was that she did to her.

"I can't wait for Saturday." Warm breath floated over Ashley's ear and her eyelids fluttered closed for a second before she regained her cool. Everything was in Spencer-mode and she didn't notice the three smirks heading in her direction.

"Me either, baby." She turned and saw blue eyes happily gazing at her. "I'll make it special; I promise."


	27. Strange and Beautiful

**We pushed it forward just that little bit again. Mainly because we have planned what is going to basically happen from now on. Hope you like it.**

**You are all so amazing for sticking with me and reviewing as much as you all have. 300 reviews, I'm pretty much dancing behind this computer at the moment. I love you all, seriously. But not like in a stalker way or something.**

**That's gross.**

**Chapter 27: Strange and Beautiful**

* * *

"It's gotta be just right, Kyla." Ashley ran her hand along the smooth wood of the table. She could see her reflection in the dark surface and almost cringed at the scared girl looking back at her. She felt a soft hand cover hers and glanced up to see Kyla smiling at her, lollipop stick hanging out the side of her mouth.

"It'll be fine. Dinner, music, movie - it's just Spencer, you know." She hopped up onto the table and let her feet swing as she sat next to her cousin. "Seriously, why are you so worried about it? Just make it another night. She isn't looking for something special."

"But what if she is? What if she's expecting this to be an amazing night? I told her it'd be perfect."

"Why?"

"Because I want to see her smile."

"But what makes you think this night is going to be different to any other night you spend with her? I'm telling you; she wants simple and cozy."

"I'm gonna reschedule."

"You can't." Kyla rolled her eyes and put her hand on her cousins' arm. "You've been frontin' on her since Wednesday because you're a pile of nerves, so I suggest, if you want to keep her, you stay on schedule."

"Did you just say 'frontin', Kyla?" The younger cousin blushed and Ashley grinned. "You've been spending way too much time with a certain Mr. Dennison."

Albeit it she was happy to tease her cousin, it was true that she had been _"fronting" _on her little Ohio beauty. Their anniversary came and went but because of school, and Spencer's mom magically having time off work so she could 'catch up with her children' the two hadn't really seen much of each other. Mostly, Ashley had avoided Spencer in the fears she would ask her what her plans were. Ashley never did look good as a stuttering fool and she knew that would be exactly how she would look. Luckily Spencer hadn't noticed her avoidance too much, they still talked for hours on the phone and Ashley continued to write her notes in class.

"Yeah, well you've hardly seen him since you kissed Spencer." Kyla pointed at her with her lollipop. She saw the guilty look wash across her cousins' face and tried to quickly amend it. "He dosen't mind you know. But I do suggest you have a day catching up and whatever."

"I will." She smiled at her young relative. The peace was quickly uprooted however when Kyla made an observation.

"What are you going to be feeding Spencer then?"

"Oh...Shit."

* * *

Spencer wandered downstairs as she waited for Ashley to come and pick her up. The clock in her room told her it was half past six and her petite brunette wasn't due to arrive for another thirty minutes. The house was quiet when her brothers were out and she enjoyed the solitude. It gave her time to come down from the high that LA sent her in each day. True, she was a country girl at heart but the excitement of the city never seemed to wear off; even after a year.

"Hey honey. You look pretty." She smiled bashfully at her dad who was busy stirring a pot of his chili. He turned around and she cringed at the 'kiss the chef' apron he had on but kissed his cheek nonetheless.

"Thanks." Making her way to the fridge, she didn't hear the front door shut until her mothers' voice invaded her senses. The woman was moaning about something at the hospital and Spencer hid her eye roll under her hair that had fallen from behind her ears. She poured a glass of orange juice and was able to conceal an awkward smile when her mother walked into the room.

"Hey Spence." The smile the two shared was almost identical. Tired, forced and a little fake.

"Hi mom." She would have hopped up onto the counter but the skirt she was wearing stopped her from doing such things. Picking out her clothes earlier that day had been a little bit of a challenge. Afterall, the longest relationship she had been in was quickly broken up by her mother and neighbours and they could hardly celebrate something in secret. So, what could she wear? She wanted Ashley to want her, that part she knew. Then again, what if Ashley got the wrong idea?

Being a seventeen year old girl, Spencer knew that she wanted to go that extra step with Ashley. Her girl had been thoughtful, never pushing her and only ever kissed her where Spencer felt comfortable. But she knew deep down Ashley was getting frustrated. She must have been, despite all the times she had told Spencer she was fine.

Spencer had heard the stories about the elusive Ashley Davies. She lost her virginity on her first date with a guy and on her second date with a girl. Ashley didn't wait for the 'right moment' or 'the perfect evening.' She was a taker, and she took what she wanted. Stories of her nights out in clubs, which often led to ending in a bathroom hit her left, right and centre when she first joined the cheerleading team.

She didn't want to be another figure for Ashley. Another thing that the girl could just take and then throw away when she was bored.

Then again, Ashley was sweet and gentle with her and everything she made herself out to be in the public was just an image.

"Where are you going?" She looked up to see her mom staring at her and she shook all thoughts from her head.

"To Ashley's. Dad said it was okay for me to spend the night there."

"Oh, he did?" Paula turned to her husband who didn't save his eye roll. "What about asking me about this?"

"She's just going to a friend's house, Paula." He turned the heat down on the stove and turned around to face his wife. Spencer watched, knowing the inevitable fight was about to break out and waited for some stinging comment to fly from one of her parents mouths.

"You still should have told me."

"I'm telling you now. What are you the only one who can give permission to our kids?"

"I never said that." Spencer put her glass into the sink and then watched as her mother took a step forward. "How much do you know about this 'Ashley', Arthur?"

"Enough to know she is a nice enough girl. You've met her." There it was. The comment that would either start an argument or not. Arthur had set it out for Paula to either say she didn't approve of Spencer's friends, which then would cause a fight, or she could agree with what her husband had just said.

"One meal dosen't give me rights to say if she's nice or not."

"Exactly."

The room descended into silence, none of the three occupants wanting to break it for fear of yet again another argument. In the end, it was Spencer's cell phone that broke the tension; Pink's distinctive voice filling the room. She fished her phone from her tiny pocket and ignored the glare from her mother and her fathers amused smile.

"Yeah?"

_"Is that anyway to answer the phone to your girlfriend?" _Ashley teased. A smile formed on both their faces and Spencer had never been so glad of the volume level only going so high on her phone.

"I like to think so."

_"Well, we're just going to have to change that Ms. Carlin."_

"You should teach me." There was something dangerous about semi-flirting with her girlfriend with her homophobic mother stood in the room that excited Spencer. "What do you want?"

_"Apart from you?" _Cue certain blush. _"I'm outside your quaint little home. Get your butt out here." _

"Already? You're early." Despite her questions, Spencer was already heading to the kitchen table to grab her overnight bag.

_"I was in the area."_

"You mean you couldn't wait to see me."

_"Don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to keep."_

"It'll be our little secret." She once more ignored the glance from her mother. Spencer knew she was listening into the conversation but it didn't matter, for all Spencer cared her mother could stick it. "I'll see you in a minute." She closed her phone and looked at her parents. "I'm going, she's here already."

"Have fun, sweetie."

"Will you be coming to church in the morning, Spencer?" The girl stopped mid-run to the door and turned around slowly.

"I -- Maybe. If Ashley wakes up early enough." Shifting uncomfortably she thought of how to please her mom. "I'll ask her tonight."

"We could always pick you up, you know. It's not that far out of the way."

"No. No, mom I'll be there. Will seven be okay?"

"Fine."

With that Spencer hurried out of the door, closing it in time to muffle the questions her dad threw at her mom about the church issue. She was too preoccupied with everything that she hardly noticed that she was sat in Ashley's car and the girl was staring at her funny.

"Are you always this happy to see me?" A tanned hand softly stroked her own and Spencer looked up into concerned brown eyes.

"I told my mom I'd be at church tomorrow."

"Right and..?" Ashley trailed off, not fully understanding the big deal. "I'll drive you there. It's on the way to Starbucks and I have to annoy Aiden at some point." She ran a hand up her girls arm and frowned when she didn't smile. "Hey, Spencer, what's wrong?"

"I just -- Church is a big deal in my family, Ash. It's like, who we are. And I'm about to spend the night with my girlfriend and I just..." Without uttering a single word Ashley reached across and hugged her. Parents be dammed, her girl needed her.

"You do know there's no rule stating that once you become gay you're not allowed to have a faith, Spence."

"I know, it's..." She sighed angrily and pushed away from Ashley, she grabbed a slender hand when a look of hurt crossed brown eyes. "Can we just enjoy tonight?"

"Totally. Just me, you and some trashy movie. Oh, and pizza because it's useless me trying to cook."

Spencer smiled as she listened to Ashley ramble on about pasta, chicken and the stupid chefs on the television.

* * *

The pizza had been long forgotten.

The cheesy black and white movie had finished over half an hour ago.

The wine Spencer had chosen from Christine's elaborate collection hadn't been touched.

Instead Ashley had been determined for Spencer to forget any trace of any argument that had happened in her house. She wanted her to forget any disagreements, or disapproving looks and muttered curses.

"Spencer..." Ashley had been the one to initiate the make out session but it had been Spencer who had decided she wanted to be on top. And Spencer who had decided to create a masterpiece on Ashley's neck. "Wait."

"Hmm?" The blonde lifted her head and looked into darkened eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, Spencer of course not." She maintained eye contact while her hands slipped beneath the loose top the girl was wearing. "I just...I want to see you, Spencer." She tugged at the top as a hint and waited for the blondes' next move.

"Okay." Spencer sat up slowly and batted away Ashley's hands. "I'll do it." The brunette just nodded her agreement and refused to blink as Spencer pulled the top over her head. Dark eyes scanned the body in front of her, all the dips and the curves that added to the essence of Spencer.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" Spencer blushed but Ashley quickly silenced any disagreement by attaching her lips to the soft skin of the blondes' collarbone. "Don't argue with the truth."

"Hmm, your turn?"

"My turn?" In a move much like Ashley's earlier, Spencer tugged at the black top Ashley was wearing and bit her lip adorably. "Yeah, take it off." Spencer almost laughed at the words if her stomach wasn't stopping and her heart racing. She slowly removed the shirt from Ashley's body and held in her gasp at the bronzed skin that was shown.

"Ashley..."

"It's okay." She slowly trailed her fingers down Spencer's arm and linked their fingers. She pulled the hand up to her mouth and kissed each knuckle, before moving onto each finger and then finally placing a central kiss onto her palm. She gasped loudly as Ashley hand surrounded hers to cup the brunettes' breast, fingers stroked the back of her hand and Ashley refused to look away from Spencer's dark blue eyes. "It's okay, Spencer."

"Ashley I don't...know...I don't know what to do." She swallowed thickly and forced herself not to cry. The moment was intense but she felt herself relax as Ashley kissed her cheek softly.

"You don't have to do anything. We won't do anything you're not comfortable with, okay?" To prove her statement, Ashley moved her hand away from Spencer's to see what she would do. Instead of pulling away like she was burnt, Spencer moved her hand slowly down to Ashley waist and along her stomach.

"Okay."

"Do you want to go upstairs?" They were whispering but every word sounded perfectly clear to Spencer.

"I...think so."

"We can do whatever you want to Spencer." She brushed her lips across Spencer's.

"Okay." She moved off of Ashley slowly and held out her hand. "Ashley?"

"Yeah?" The brunette too stood up and walked towards the staircase, holding the girls hand the whole way.

"How about we just see what happens, tonight?" Ashley pulled the shy girl towards her and kissed her sweetly, before pulling back and once more getting lost in blue eyes.

"Okay. We'll simply see what happens, Spencer."

* * *

**Crappy ending I know! But I was kinda trying to throw this out to you guys before my exam on Thursday.**

**Now, what do you think should happen? You don't have to say what you want to happen but we do have two separate chapters for 28 planned and we just want you to enjoy this story. **


	28. Face Down

Spencer sat in the cold church and groaned a little on the inside at the sudden draught that hit her bare legs. She clenched her thighs together and kept her ankles crossed, hoping that somehow that small attempt would warm up her body. She had forgone the standard jeans and cute t-shirt and instead turned up to church in a skirt and tight top. It wasn't her usual choice, hell it was hardly on her radar but the look on her mothers face when she hopped out of Ashley's porche was more than worth it. The cold glare had been taken away when Arthur had complemented her clothing, and those ice-filled eyes turned and glared at her husband. Spencer, not wanting to cause an argument, blushed sweetly and thanked him; her smile only becoming fake when her other turned back to her.

Being a mother meant that Paula could reprimand her daughter. As soon as her brothers and father were a few feet away, Spencer found a small white jacket being handed to her and told, quite forcefully, to put it on and cover up. The problem was; she didn't want to cover up. Granted, she probably wouldn't wear a shirt as tight as this for church again and she would probably leave out skirts for the occasion too but when dressing this morning; it wasn't her choice.

Ashley had decided, quite bluntly, that church needed brightening up a little. So the tiny girl jumped out of bed, in a makeshift toga from her bed sheet, and proceeded to search her walk-in closet for something that Spencer could wear. She had held up the skirt and shirt combo and her eyes had darkened, making Spencer's decision very simple. She decided there to throw all caution into the proverbial wind and changed into the clothes Ashley had handpicked for her. When she walked back into the bedroom from the en-suite she found Ashley smirking at her, when asked what was up, she promptly dropped the bed sheet and announced that Spencer should return the clothing favour. Spencer had blushed, stammered and then thrown a green tank-top at the laughing - but decidedly naked - girl, in an effort to flush the red from her cheeks.

The blonde stood up with her family and wondered briefly if her mother had planned for this topic to be covered in the church today. Outside on the white plaque, in rather large red letters, was: **Lev 18:22 **_"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination." _She had rolled her eyes and smiled at the three main men in her family as they looked at her. She saw pain flash across her dad's eyes and her brothers looked at her, as if they knew what their mom had planned.

Back in Ohio, Paula had practically dragged Spencer kicking and screaming into the confession box as Pastor Roberts repeated to her over and over again that homosexuality was a sin and while they still loved her she needed to be saved. Thankfully, Clay had wandered in looking for Spencer and effortlessly scooped the crying girl into her arms. For the first time in Spencer's life, Clay stood up to Paula; asking her why it was she could accept a black child, but not a gay child, when only a few centuries ago blacks were seen as the devils advocates. Spencer watched as her mom faltered that day and then walk out of the church, telling Clay he was grounded until further notice and Spencer was banned from seeing her girlfriend. A few months later they were driving to LA.

She felt a nudge at her side and quickly caught up to the lyrics that were filling the large church hall. She knew the words, practically to all the songs, she had been in the church youth club thanks to her mother and cheerleading duties. For as long as she could remember, church had been in her life. She had been christened there, she went to a school that took them there and she had met the girl that would soon decide who she really was there. Attending church was something Spencer could openly say she was proud of. She was proud to have a faith and a good set of morals. Proud to say she was a believer. She was one of the few in her school who would wear a cross around her neck out of faith, not fashion. Missing church was a rarity and only ever happened when she was sick, on a trip out of state or otherwise occupied. So, she thought with twisted humor, engaging in consensual taboo lesbian sex was hardly going to stop her attending her church the following Sunday. Even if, as she continued to sing, her skin burnt from Ashley's teasing fingers as they dragged across her skin heavily. Even as she sat down on the hard bench, her shoulders told her to stop moving because of the fresh bruise Ashley had strategically placed with her tongue and teeth and mouth. Secret places, she had whispered into a delicate ear, somewhere that only we know about.

She shifted on the hard bench, earning her a sideways glance from her mom, and compared the thin cushions to Ashley's warm, plush bed. She closed her eyes, to the outside world it looked like she was lost in prayer but behind those eyelids she could see a whole other scene. She imagined the silky bed sheets beneath her sweaty torso, falling away at the last minute as she arched her back searching for more contact. Opening her eyes, she could have sworn a vow that she could see Ashley in front of her, above her, all around her, whispering in panted breaths that she was going to make her feel so good.

True to her word, Ashley had made her feel more than good, more than amazing if it was truly possible. She had made the night gentle and sweet, but she still had her Ashley charm and the kisses ranged from loving and soft to hard and rough. Sweat mingled on bodies, creating an erotic mix of passion and want. Fingers bled intimate patterns over her sensitive torso, lips ghosted over forgotten areas and nails dug small half-moon shapes into velvet skin, marking territory over others. Spencer never knew the feeling that all her friends talked about until a blinding force hit her, white noise burst in her ears and she closed her eyes so tight that the dark became comforting. It forced screams through her mouth as they grew from her chest and tears leaked from tightly shut eyes, trailing patterns down a curved cheek.

She felt safe, wrapped in small arms as bruised lips kissed away tears and melted onto hers. She smiled at the memory of Ashley's soft voice, which had become with need, as she asked if Spencer was alright. When she had told her brunette that she was perfect, Ashley had flashed her a large grin and told her that she was great too. How could she not be after hearing Spencer screaming her name like that?

Picking up her bible, and turning to Romans 1:26 and rolling her eyes at the passage that screamed homosexuality was a sin. She felt her brother stiffen with disgust beside her and the smug noise her mom made, only further prompted Glen to scoff loudly. A few eyes turned to him but he ignored them, instead reading the same line over and over again.

_"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections..."_

Spencer blocked out the priest and cringed at the memory of falling asleep after whispered confessions. Ashley had told her she had never felt like that before and Spencer had rewarded her honesty by telling her she had never come that hard before. The memory of Ashley's wide eyes and slack jaw would be forever engrained into her minds eye, causing her to stifle her laughter at several occasions. The following morning, Spencer learnt quickly that Ashley was one for morning sex. Instead this time, with shaking limbs and trembling lips, Spencer took the lead. She mapped out her path on Ashley's toned body, using moans as signals and breathy sighs as direction. The feeling of Ashley coming apart beneath her inexperienced fingertips rocked Spencer to the core, her breath was as labored as her girlfriends and she quickly snuggled into the open arms. Spencer memorized the look on the brunettes face as her world imploded, the sudden contentment and relaxation of her features. In that moment, Spencer decided this was what she wanted to make Ashley feel for the rest of her life.

After a long breakfast and lingering kisses in the kitchen, and living room, and car, Ashley pulled up outside of the church with five minutes to spare. For her early arrival Ashley received a thanks from Arthur, a nod from Glen (as he talked to another girl), a wave from Clay and the coldest glare from Paula she thought imaginable. She simply smiled at the family and then drove away, leaving a very pouty Spencer behind. Five minutes later, Ashley received a text stating that Spencer hated that she had left.

As the congregation rose once more for the final prayer, Spencer's' leg vibrated as the phone beneath her skin made a loud noise in the room. She heard a few murmurs around her but waved them off, standing up and joining in prayer. Blue eyes curiously looked at the display and saw a flashing **xX Sexy Ashley Xx **on the front screen. Spencer hadn't the faintest idea when Ashley had changed her name, but she was in no hurry to change it back. After the prayer finished, Arthur leant over and quietly whispered to Spencer to turn her phone off when she was in church. With a nod, she complied with the request and decided she could read the message when they went outside.

Ten minutes later the church doors were thrown open and Spencer was one of the first out. Only beaten by a ten year old and a balding man. She walked into the warm heat of LA and her face lit up as she saw a familiar brunette leaning against Aiden's car. The passenger seat was taken by Kyla, but Spencer's eyes were solely focused on her girl as she pushed herself off of the bonnet and smiled back at her. Spencer felt her family behind her and she turned to face them.

"Can I go hang out with my friends? I'll be home for dinner." Her eyes pleaded with her mother, then her father and then both of them.

"Haven't you spent enough time with them, Spencer? What about your school work?" Spencer almost lunged at her mom, but quickly figured that lunging at someone with a heart that skips a beat at hearing someones voice was dangerous.

"Actually Mrs. C, Spencer promised to help Kyla with her biology homework. She finished all of hers at my house last night." Ashley came up besides Spencer and handed her a small flower, what kind it was neither could say. "Aiden told me to give you this." She finished her sentence with a wink, signalling that the only thing Aiden had to do with the flower was convince Ashley it wasn't soppy for her to give it to Spencer.

"Four O'clock. No later, no excuses and no second chances." Arthur smiled and punctuated his sentence with finger pokes, showing that although he was serious he was only joking around. "And we want to see your homework, Spence." That was her dads rule and she only found it fair.

"Okay." She went to say bye to her brothers but found that Clay was cooing into his mobile and Glen was scribbling his own number down onto some girl's wrist. "Boys." She rolled her eyes and with a quick wave to her parents she was off and heading towards Aiden's car.

"Hi Spencer!" Kyla waved frantically from her seat and Spencer laughed and greeted her as she and Ashley slid into the backseat. "Aiden's dad finished the extension to the pool. Did you bring your suit?" Spencer shook her head and Kyla then poked Aiden and told him to get a move on to Spencer's house. As they drove, Spencer finally gave into temptation and pecked Ashley sweetly on the lips.

"What brings you by?"

"Didn't you read your messages?" Once more Spencer shook her head and reached for her phone, turning it on and waiting for the menu to appear as Ashley continued. "Well, you told me you hated that I had to go and I replied to you." Spencer opened her message and smiled at the content.

**I didn't go anywhere without you. **

"You're kind of cute, you know?" Spencer smiled, to which Ashley shook her head.

"Sexy dosen't do cute." She pouted, which quickly melted into a smile as Spencer leant into her. Fingers automatically began stroking through thick hair and Aiden glanced back at them.

"Aw, Ashley, you're adorable." He teased. Ashley glared at him as Kyla laughed, turning the radio to a station she preferred.

Spencer glanced up and for a sickening moment hoped that this wasn't the calm before the storm.


	29. Lying Is The Most Fun

"We should get dressed." Ashley lamented, eyeing the clock in the corner and finally coming to the conclusion she was late in getting Spencer home. She looked at the mass on blonde hair and began to run her fingers through it, wondering when the owner of said hair would turn and set blue eyes on her.

Ever since they first slept together, a week ago, Spencer had been clinging onto Ashley and Ashley wasn't one to pass up the opportunity. It was a strange feeling, that of being in a relationship and the idea of having a deeper connection than sex. She liked it though, liked teasing Spencer about her irrational fear of going downstairs when it was dark and having conversations about anything. She loved the silence that came with afterglow and hugs that lasted forever.

On numerous occasions she had contemplated telling Spencer she loved her, but she had balked at the last minute and told her she was beautiful instead. Kyla, she of infinite wisdom apparently, told her that it should come naturally. Ashley argued it wasn't natural for her heart rate to increase, her sweat glands to open and her throat to close when she planned on telling her. Truth was, she was terrified about how the other girl would react. Not that she thought that Spencer would run away, or laugh in her face, but more along the lines of it was way too soon.

She knew teenagers acted upon instincts and fell in love every second week with a new person; it was a part of life, a part of the transition into adulthood from naivety and childishness. Then again, she had never felt this way before, it was new and exciting and fucking scary.

"I don't want to." Spencer whined, trying to burrow herself further into the crook of Ashley's neck and seek the warmth there. "Comfy."

"Don't care, you're making my arm go numb and you're an hour late getting home. The later we leave it, the longer you will be grounded." Not that Paula grounding Ashley would stop them seeing one another. Ashley was a regular in the Carlin house.

On one hand, it felt like they were out to the family about being in a relationship. Nobody really ever questioned the nature of their friendship and no questions were asked. It was simply taken at face value, Arthur was happy his daughter was smiling and Clay and Glen were only bothered if brotherly duties were asked. Ashley knew the only person who was in the dark about the two of them was Paula.

It was Paula that scared her. Paula had moved the family from Ohio to LA when Spencer had been found to be dating a girl and Ashley had no doubts in her mind that she would uproot from LA to somewhere else if the time called for it. She also knew that Spencer wanted to come out to everyone soon; the school, her mother, her friends back home in Ohio and Ashley told her she would stand by her.

"Nobody told me what time to go home." Spencer argued, even though she extracted herself from Ashley and kissed her lightly on the lips. "But if you really want to get rid of me..." She began to climb out of the messy bed but was held tight by Ashley.

"I didn't say that, Carlin." The brunette sat behind Spencer and wrapped her arms around her, loving the gasp Spencer made when she felt Ashleys naked form press behind her. "I just want to stay on the good side of your family, you know? Because when you come out to your mom I want them to know I'd look after you."

"I know." She turned slightly to look into patient brown eyes. "And I will come out to her, soon. I promise."

"Whenever you're ready. When you do, I'll be there and you know Kyla, Aiden and your brothers will too." Ashley kissed her cheek and smiled widely. "Besides, even if she did move you I have millions in my bank account and I'd just follow you."

"Really? Or are you just saying that to get into my pants again?"

"One, you were wearing a skirt today so I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Two, I mean it. Three, you're naked so there is no pants for me to get into." Ashley rattled off her points as she counted them on her fingers. She kissed her neck lightly and trailed up to her ear. "But if you insist..."

"No. I have to get home, Ash." She playfully slapped a bare thigh and pushed up off the bed. "Besides, you wore my body out."

"That's because I'm damn good. Once you've had Ash, you never go back." Her face was so deadly serious that Spencer couldn't help laughing loudly. "What?"

"Nothing, you're just adorable." She began getting dressed and ignored the pout on Ashleys face.

"I am not adorable."

"Yes you are. It's just another thing I can love about you."

The room went silent and Spencer paused with one leg in her skirt and the other keeping her balanced. Ashley's eyes widened and she swallowed hard, not knowing if it was because of the words Spencer had just spoken or because of the words Spencer had just spoken while being naked.

Two very reasonable excuses to swallow hard in Ashley's mind.

"Well..." Ashley started, lifting herself out of the bed and padding across to her dresser. "If that's the case, I'll try and be adorable more often."

The tensions slipped out of the room slowly and the two dressed in silence, both hiding the large grins that were spreading across their faces quickly.

--

Apparently, Ashley had decided she didn't like Tuesdays and had taken the day off of school. She had phoned both Aiden and Spencer that morning to inform them she wasn't coming in, because Tuesdays were boring and she shared no classes with either of them. Instead, she was going to pick them up for lunch and take them somewhere. Or, in her words, "I'm picking Spencer up but if Aiden wants to tag along, I can't stop him."

Spencer hadn't argued with Ashley in that sense. Of course, she would have liked to spend dinner alone with her girlfriend but Ashley had been spending a lot of time with her and she could see Aiden getting agitated and bored without his friend. It was sort of cute, but they had been friends most of their life and Spencer wasn't about to stand in their way. Besides, she knew going off campus with Ashley alone was bound to start rumors that not even Glen could keep down for her.

"If I went on a date with Kyla do you think Ashley would mind?" Aiden asked as the two sat in the quad, waiting for Ashley to text them about her arrival outside of the school.

"I don't think so. Why?" Spencer looked at the handsome boy and watched as he seemed to think over his answer. Unlike Ashley, who pursed her lips and fiddled with her fingers when thinking about something; Aiden looked clueless.

"No reason. Just thinking about stuff."

"Do you like her? Kyla, I mean." She straightened up and smiled when a blush crept onto his cheeks. Aiden was a complicated guy, one minute he could be drooling over her and Ashley's relationship and the next he could be the biggest romantic on the earth.

"Yeah..." He trailed off and smiled. "When we were younger, I used to have the biggest crush on Ashley. I mean, I was this eleven year old fat kid with glasses and she was this confident little rebel who forever wore a baseball cap." He laughed slightly at the memory of little Ashley, chewing her gum and squinting her eyes even though her hat shaded them from the sun.

"You were fat and had glasses?" Spencer, always the kind soul, tried hard not to laugh at the image.

"Yeah, I had a thing for doughnuts." He shook his head, glad that Ashley had the pictures stored away so nobody would ever see them. "Anyway, I remember trying to kiss her once in Kyla's backyard and she grabbed me in this headlock and told me never to try again. She was always closer to Phoebe Cohen that year anyway."

"That really dosen't surprise me." Spencer shook her head smiling. "You were fat?"

"Get over it." Aiden laughed. "So, yeah, after doing that Kyla came over to me and gave me a hug. She told me that Ashley didn't kiss boys so it wasn't my fault. Then, I decided I was going to marry Kyla because I was eleven and got over heartbreak quickly. Anyway, a few years later and me and Ashley had broken up because she decided she liked girls and I was more of a brother to her anyway."

"Because you had glasses?"

"Spencer."

"Sorry. Go on."

"Our relationship was doomed from the start anyway. She only dated me to stop all the rumors and what she knew was true and I dated her because she was my sexy best friend." He shrugged at Spencer's eye roll. "Whatever. Anyway, we broke up and once again Kyla comforted me and, to be honest, I've liked her ever since. I mean, everytime I break up with a girl I seem to find myself waking up next to her the next day."

"Seriously? Does Ashley know?" Spencer's voice rose a little at the confession and her eyes widened when Aiden shook his head. "Wait, did you sleep with her after we broke up?"

"No. But that isn't the point. I like her, really I do, but I think she thinks I use her."

"Sounds like you do."

"Spencer, please, I came to you 'cause I knew you'd be honest with me. Not that Ashley wouldn't be honest but I'd rather keep my limbs than have her break them one by one for sleeping with Kyla and then running away."

A text message from Ashley telling them she was outside broke their conversation and Spencer glanced at his confused face. He was a good person, really. He was just confused and he was trying to make something good out of a wrong situation.

"Tell Ashley you like Kyla. And if she blows up at you, I'll persuade her that you're not that bad of a guy." They both stood up and started to walk out of the school.

"And how will you convince her?"

"I have my ways."

"Your naked ways!" Aiden grinned at Spencer's blush. "That's hot."

"You're an idiot." They climbed into Ashleys waiting car and Spencer leant across to kiss Ashley briefly, forgetting about her open passenger door.

"See? It's hot. I love being your friend." Aiden gloated from behind the seat.

"You're a moron." She replied, finally shutting the passenger door and frowning at the person she saw standing close. Ashley looked in the direction of Spencer's eye line and also frowned. Madison had her arms folded but a look of indifference on her face, both which worried yet calmed Ashley. She knew Madison better than most and the look she was wearing could mean anything, from trouble to acceptance.

"You think she saw you kissing me?"

"God, I hope not."

The trio continued to look at Madison and then watched her as she smirked, whipped out her phone and them walked away. Ashley and Aiden shared a glance. That half smile meant one thing, everyone in the school knew that when Madison Duarte knew a big secret about somebody she smirked.

She had seen the kiss.


	30. In The Water I Am Beautiful

**Wrote this because I am way too happy that Sociology is finally over! Sat my last exam yesterday (Thursday) and you have no idea how glad it's done! Only 3 more exams to go and college is over forever! I'm having a party in my mind.**

**Anyway, this chapter is a little choppy in places and could be seen as a filler. Which it sort of is. I just wanted you to all see this side of Madison and stuff.**

**I hope you like it and thank you all so, so, much for the reviews. They mean a lot, really. **

**--**

"...And then the car like, turned over four or five times. God, Ash, it was awesome! The driver was probably fucked but it made for good TV." Aiden was throwing his arms about in some strange male dance as he continued to talk about the show that he had watched the night before.

Ashley smiled, nodded, agreed and frowned in all of the right places. Her mind was elsewhere for ninety percent of the conversation, but she did notice how close Kyla was sat with Aiden and that their little touches would linger. She figured the sooner they admitted they were sleeping together, the better. It wasn't as if she cared, the fact her best friend and her closest family member were dating made life easier for her. She could trust them both not to hurt the other; all she cared about was if it all turned sour she would be made to pick a side.

Her mind was filled with Madison's smirking face and Spencer's panicked eyes. It had been a few days since the incident and Ashley smiled internally at what followed two days later. Spencer had gathered up her, Kyla and Aiden to tell them the news she needed them around when she finally confirmed the suspicions of the males in her family. They all agreed and that same night, the friends trooped into the Carlin household and told Clay, Glen and Arthur to go into the living room. Apparently, Paula had been called in that night on an emergency operation and had no way of getting out of it.

Ashley had never been more relived for a person dying in her life.

Aiden had sat on one side of Spencer, while Ashley took the otherside and Kyla manned behind her. Putting comforting hands on her shoulders as the two best friends held her hands in support. Spencer had stuttered at first, then became mute and then finally, _finally, _admitted that she was dating Ashley. She told them they had been dating for a while and that she hoped they would accept her, because she didn't know what she would do if they didn't.

In return for her honesty she had received a hug from Clay, a smile from her father and a smirk from her brother who proclaimed he knew it all along. In their own little ways they showed their acceptance and then the two boys, who were no longer needed, went off to do their own thing. Spencer sat speechless, but happy, as her dad walked past and told her as long as she was happy; that was all that mattered.

"Hey, Ashley, are you even listening to me?" Aiden pouted, his eyebrows furrowing in aggravation and his arms crossing quickly. Ashley smiled at her friend's behaviour and threw a fry at him, missing by a mile.

"Yeah, sort of. I was just thinking about the night Spencer told her brothers and dad about us."

"She was so brave," Kyla gushed into her milkshake, "I was freaking out that we were going to be castrated."

"You're a girl. You can't be castrated." Aiden pointed out, stealing a fry from Ashley's plate and dipping it into Kyla's milkshake. Both girls looked on, mildly disgusted but used to Aiden's eating habits and cringed a little as he popped the chocolate covered potato into his mouth.

"Right." Kyla agreed, too tired to get into a debate over something so trivial. "Speaking of Spencer, where is the little blonde beauty?"

"Bonding with her mom, or something." She laughed at the raised eyebrows she received in answer. She had replied the same way to Spencer when she had been told and the proceeded to fall about laughing at the idea of Paula happily shopping with her not-so-innocent lesbian daughter. Who, in retrospect, she should hate.

"Really?" Aiden frowned. Behind him, the bell above the door chimed to let the patrons know somebody was entering. "That's weird."

"That's what I thought." Ashley agreed, sprinkling more salt onto her fries.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" A voice asked in a sing-song voice behind them. "You know Aiden, you should tell Ashley that three is a crowd and get rid of her ass before she cramps your style." Ashley turned to Madison and rolled her eyes.

"Funny, it wasn't nearly so cramped before you got here."

"Whatever. Where's your little girlfriend, Ashley? I need to talk with her." Long fingernails tapped on hard wood and Ashley repressed the urge to rip them off one by one and make the cheerleader eat them.

"She's out with her mom so you can run along now."

"Really? I need to talk to her mom too," Madison smiled slowly, "about a little incident that happened in your car a few days ago."

Before either Kyla or Aiden could blink, Ashley was out of the booth and had Madison pushed against the table with one hand against her throat. She made sure not to put any pressure on the girl, but made it impossible for the Latina to fight back. She leant in closely to the writing girl's ear and lowered her voice, as not to attract any more attention than they already had.

"You didn't see anything, Madison, understand?"

"Get off of me you dirty dyke!" Madison pushed forwards and Ashley stumbled back a bit, before regaining her balance and lowering her gaze on the girl. "What I saw was the furthest thing from nothing that there is, Davies. I'm pretty sure Mama Carlin would love to know about it."

"If you tell her anything, anything at all, I'll make your life a living nightmare, _Duarte._"

"Clever, threatening me in a public place. I should have you done for assault." The shorter girl sorted out her hair before flinching when Ashley stepped forwards so they were face to face.

"If you think this is assault then you don't even know the meaning of the word." Ashley ignored the soft words from Kyla as she focused all of her attention on the Hispanic girl in front of her.

Neither heard the bell ring once more as Spencer walked into the dining area, reading a text from Aiden that had told her to meet them there. The blonde girl headed over to Aiden; who was busy apologizing to an elderly woman for his friend startling her grandchild by grabbing Madison so quickly. She sent him a questioning look, concern etched into her features and he merely shrugged in response.

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm telling you the facts. Leave me and Spencer alone, _comprende_?"

"Or what? Ashley, you wouldn't stand a chance against me." For all of her front, Madison's voice wavered for a few moments before she took up her confident stride once more.

"We both know that's a lie," Once more she stepped forwards and moved her head to Madison's ear, pressing her lips against the soft flesh, "if you don't leave us alone, I'll tell everyone just exactly what you and the dirty dyke were doing instead of cheer routines."

"You wouldn't dare." Once more she pushed the girl away and Ashley's eyes glistened something dangerous. Madison pleaded with her own eyes with the taller girl but Ashley was refusing to back down under the guilty stare.

"Watch me," She took a few steps back so Madison could leave, "we all have secrets, Madison. Let's keep them that way."

"You'll be found out eventually." Finally Madison seemed to notice Spencer and focused her attention on the blonde girl. Ashley followed her line of vision and groaned quietly; knowing that Spencer had seen the little exchange that had gone on and she didn't look impressed.

"Spence..."

"You'll be found out," Madison repeated and bared her teeth, content with getting the upper hand now that Ashley was distracted once more, "and once you do I have no doubts Spencer will be moving away. From what I've heard from Glen, that's already happened once and it's bound to happen again."

Ashley looked apologetic as the shorter girl walked out of the diner with her head held high, happy in the knowledge that, even if she hadn't won that round, she had most certainly gotten under the girls skin. Spencer slowly walked over to Ashley, seemingly hesitating for a second, before wrapping her arms tightly around the older girl. Ashley felt her shaking and held her tighter, wanting the girl to be unafraid and back to normal.

"Tell me I won't be sent away," Spencer breathed out against a tanned ear and the brunette closed her eyes, "promise me, Ashley."

"You won't, Spencer, I swear you won't."

--

Madison sat in her bedroom. There, in her little sanctuary, she was surrounded by everything she ever thought she wanted. When she had turned five, her father had hit some money and had made a fortune out of houses and businesses alike. The Duarte's became a big name in their area of LA and it helped they had close connections to the Davies family.

At a young age, Madison was told that by being friends with Ashley would help her daddy. So, Madison did as she was told and befriended the young girl. The two quickly became close and soon Madison was playing with Ashley because she liked the girl, not to please her daddy.

Then they grew up and Ashley decided to become gay, a decision Madison wasn't sure her parents would like and her suspicions were correct. They told Madison that it was unholy, what Ashley was doing, and that Madison was wrong to keep hanging around with her. Of course, the youngest Duarte went against her parent's decisions and continued to hang around with her best friend. Even if Ashley was a lesbian, she was still her best friend and Madison wasn't going to lose that bond.

Suddenly everything blew up in the corridor one day. Ashley had screamed at her, calling her a homophobe and a traitor and that hurt Madison more than she could ever think possible. The two had shook, when they were 10, that they would always be best friends no matter what. They told each other they would always trust what the other would say and never believe rumors about them saying things about the other behind their backs. Then, Ashley believed everyone else over her best friend.

Well, that just didn't sit right with her.

Madison gave back as good as she got and then some. She screamed intimate secrets Ashley had begged her to keep to herself. Once out there, Madison saw the hurt and betrayal in Ashley's eyes and knew they would never be the same again.

Months later, the two met up in the lockers rooms; hours after school had finished. Madison had cheer practice and Ashley was "dating" a girl on the softball team. They had tried to ignore one another but Madison missed her best friend. A talk turned into a kiss and a kiss turned into a heated make-out session, which held anything but passion, and was quickly interrupted by Aiden, who had wandered in with the hopes only Ashley would be in there.

The three stared at one another, nobody knowing what to say and hoping that at least something would happen. Then, out of nowhere, Ashley had pushed her away and told her never to come near her again for the rest of her life. She had turned on her heel and stormed out of the changing rooms, quickly followed by Aiden and then Madison was once again alone.

After the washroom episode, few more followed in which Ashley referred to her as 'princess' in a sarcastic tone of voice. The two fought even further and got caught up in such intense moments that Madison felt sick and Ashley always ended up walking away. It was the same pattern and Madison became sick of it quickly, just wanting her friend back for good.

Madison refused to define herself and knew she was mostly attracted to boys, with the exception of Ashley. Even then, it wasn't anything sexual it was more a fight for dominance and each time they kissed it held anger and remorse.

Whatever it was, though, ended quickly and Ashley began to date other girls - which once more left Madison alone.

She picked up her phone and looked through the locked pictures, those that were kept away from prying eyes, because they held pictures of her and Ashley and Aiden when they were younger. Ones of them at the beach, at Ashleys' house or just on the street. She had found them on a camera, developed the pictures to CD and transferred them onto her phone to keep with her when she needed a push back into the real world.

The world in which cheerleaders didn't define a persons place in school and where Ashley would smile at her on the corridor instead of roll her eyes and scoff loudly.

Madison didn't want the fake smiles and short skirts and pom poms but that was who she was defined as. Ashley was the rebel, Aiden was the jock, Spencer was the girl next door and Madison was the bitchy cheerleader; it was how it went. She didn't want to be nasty and mean to Ashley but it was the way it happened, it was a structured interaction that she feared breaking because she knew how harsh High School could be.

She was too afraid to turn around and tell the other girls that she didn't care that Ashley was a lesbian and, in fact, the girl was a pretty good kisser. Madison knew, just knew, how the rest of her school life would play out from there and she didn't want that. She wanted the other world with best friends and real smiles.

She simply wanted her best friend back.

As much as she knew that by terrorizing her and Spencer, it wasn't going to work, but she didn't know what else to do and it didn't stop her.

She just wanted Ashley back.


	31. These Words

Ashley bobbed her head to the beat of the music which was pumping through the earphones, connected to her iPod. Her fingers flew over the keys to her laptop and her brown eyes flicked to the sheets next to her, on the bed. Kyla watched from the doorway, her brow furrowed in confusion and slight amusement.

Feeling someone staring, Ashley looked up slowly and raised an eyebrow at her cousin. They looked at one another for a passing moment, before Ashley pulled out the earphones and frowned; feeling self-conscious under the glare of her younger cousin.

"What, do I have something on my face?" She pushed away the laptop after saving her work and unconsciously made a space for her cousin to sit down.

"Are you doing _homework?_" Kyla almost sounded confused, which caused Ashley to scoff and feign innocence.

"Yes. Is there something wrong with that? It's not a miracle." Ashley frowned.

"Yeah, it is." She sat next to her cousin and took a glance at the essay on the laptop. "And it's your History. Are you feeling okay?" She put a hand to her cousins' forehead and proceeded to take her temperature.

"I'm fine." The brunette pulled away from the hand. "Education is important, you know. I need to do it."

"Spencer's making you, isn't she?"

"She told me she wouldn't stay the night until I've caught up with all of my work." Ashley pouted and fell back onto the plush pillows.

The brown eyed girl remembered it clearly. Spencer was sat at the end of the Davies bed, clad in a black lace bra and was trying to tell Ashley something. Unfortunately, the bra held the percentage of Ashley's attention, more so than the words coming out of the blonde's mouth. Ashley found herself agreeing with whatever Spencer was saying; just to make her happy.

When Spencer told her she would bring the assignments over the following night, Ashley finally started to pay attention to what she was being told. Spencer made sure that Ashley agreed to finish her work and as a reward she would do whatever Ashley wanted. Until then, there would be no sex.

That was two days ago and ever since Ashley had been locked in her bedroom finishing all the work in record time.

"You do know you're whipped right?"

"Totally." She pulled the laptop back onto her knees. "But, the sooner I finish this; the sooner I can see Spencer."

"You're cute when you're in love, you know?" Kyla stood up with a grin on her face, ignoring the daggers that were being sent her way.

"I'm not cute."

"Whatever you say. Me, Aiden and Tay might be at Gray tonight so I'll see you later."

"Okay."

"Now, finish your work or I'll tell Spencer."

"Shut up."

--

"Did you do it all?" Spencer laughed as Ashley practically launched herself at her and wrapped her body around the blondes.

"It was awful but I finished it." The brunette mumbled into her neck. Her fingers clawed at the blouse Spencer were wearing in an attempt to get closer to the taller girls body. The two hadn't seen each other in two days and Ashley hated the fact she was having withdrawals.

"I'm proud." Spencer bit back the laugh at her girlfriend's childish actions. She moved the tanned girls head and met pouting lips with her own. Blue eyes fluttered closed at the whimper that Ashley let out against her lips. She pulled away a tiny bit, letting her lips continue to brush against Ashleys and their breath to mingle.

Neither cared they were in the middle of Gray, in front of classmates and siblings. Rumors had been going around, about them dating, for a while anyway and even though Glen and Clay had been trying to calm them, people chose to believe what they wanted. Ashley had never been so happy that people in LA were so far up their own ass that they didn't bother them too much.

Plus, one glare from Ashley and a threat from Aiden had most people backing off.

"Don't stop, Carlin."

"Did you finish your Math work?"

"Spence, don't be so mean."

"I just want you to do well." She leant her head back and looked into chocolate eyes. "I want to tell my mom about us and I don't want her to use anything against you. Bad grades included." She closed her eyes as Ashley ran her fingers through soft blonde locks and smiled when she felt lips against her forehead.

"So the fact I'm gay would go over her head but the idea of me failing would repulse her." Ashley grinned at her giggling girlfriend and pulled her closer, if possible.

"Oh, most certainly."

"Then I guess I'll have to show her what a good girl I am." She smiled at her young blonde. One day, she decided, one day she was going to tell Spencer _exactly _how she felt.

--

Ashley sat with Kyla at the table as Spencer danced with Aiden to some song Ashley hated. Taylor had arrived, only to take one look at Spencer and Ashley dancing and took off in the direction of friends from her own school. If she was honest, Ashley missed Taylor and her New York attitude but she could live without it if it meant for a drama free life. She had enough issues at keeping something the whole of LA knew away from Paula Carlin. She was lucky that her place in school meant she had some damage control ability and nobody had any real proof she was dating Spencer, so the threat of being "outed" was at a low minimum.

"You do know your going to grab your girlfriend in the next few minutes to get her home for curfew, right?" Kyla leant into her cousin and flashed the time in her face. It was only half eleven, but Spencer's curfew had been pulled back an hour for reasons unknown.

"Yeah..." Ashley groaned and stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course."

Ashley smiled and walked to the dance floor, where Spencer and Aiden were producing some very questionable dance moves. She put her hand on Spencer's elbow to gain her attention and found herself almost blinded by the smile she received.

"Hi!" Spencer giggled, wrapping her arms around a tanned neck. Ashley raised an eyebrow at Aiden who held up two fingers, indicating she had only consumed two drinks. Well, that he knew of.

"Hey baby, we have to go home." Her lips brushed Spencer's ear as she whispered to her. She felt the shudder but held back a grin until Aiden was safely back at the table with Kyla.

"Why? I'm having fun."

"If you miss curfew your mom will kill us and then you won't be able to stay at mine tomorrow." Ashley reasoned, leading Spencer out of the club as she talked. The two girls shot a parting wave to Aiden and Kyla, which went unnoticed as they proceeded to flirt with one another unabashedly. Spencer followed happily, but the pout was still in place at being taken away from having a nice night out.

As the two walked outside, the unmistakable voice of Madison Duarte hit their senses and caused them both to stop. Two sets of eyes turned to see Madison against a car, pushing heavily at a guy in a leather jacket. Spencer watched as Ashley bristled and she felt how the hand on her elbow tightened. Spencer watched as her girlfriends eyes narrowed and shocked herself at the flare of jealousy that arose from her girlfriend's protective nature to the girl she called her enemy.

"Hey, jerk off. Get off of her." Heels clicked forward as Ashley advanced on the dark haired guy. Spencer followed quickly, hoping her tiny girlfriend wasn't about to go head to head with the football player; who easily stood a foot taller. He turned around and dark eyes focused on the petite brunette.

"Or what? You gonna hit me with your lip-gloss?" His voice was deep and intimidating, which caused Spencer to reach out for her girlfriend.

"No, but I have to hands that will slap the shit out of you." Ashley spoke to him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and Madison took the opportunity to make a break for it, keeping a respectable distance between her and the guy.

"Whatever," he glanced at Madison who was busy sorting out her clothes, "She isn't worth it anyway. You on the other hand..."

"Am gorgeous, I know. But I'm also taken and quickly losing my patience. Now leave." She folded her arms and continued to stare down the tall guy. He looked at her, then shook his head and turned away. Muttering under his breath about girls being crazy and not worth his time. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Spencer, who was looking at her like she had grown another head.

"What was that?"

"I wasn't going to let him start something." Ashley defended her actions and took Spencer into her arms. "Even if it is Madison."

"Ashley, he could have hurt you."

"And he could have hurt her."

"Thank you, Ashley." Madison cut through the argument and sent out her thanks. "You didn't need to."

"No, she didn't." Spencer grunted. She hated the feeling of being jealous of Madison, especially when she knew that the two hated one another and there was nothing there to be envious of. Suddenly, all she wanted to do was go home and snuggle under her duvet.

"Yeah I did. I wasn't going to stand back and watch some skank run his grubby hands all over Madison." Ashley watched confused as a mirade of emotions flickered over Spencer's face. In her mind, she was simply being a good citizen. As much as she hated Madison, she didn't want to see the girl get hurt because some loser couldn't handle his drink. She hadn't done anything wrong, right?

"I could have handled it." Madison smirked, back to her old self now she felt safe. "I mean, why did you jump in?"

"Because Duarte," Ashley stepped forward as her eyes flashed something dangerous, "Unlike some people I don't walk away from friends. Sure, we might hate one another now but once upon a time we promised each other we'd look after one another. So what if I could care less if you get dropped from the cheerleading squad, or dumped by some jock? I saw you were in trouble and I helped. Believe it or not, Madison, I still remember the tree houses and fashion shows. I saved you when you were ten and that guy tried to kiss you and I was hardly going to walk away just because you're eighteen and getting groped in a parking lot. You might have turned and ran, but I'm not like that."

Sometime during her heated rant, Madison had been kicked into gear and Spencer's jaw had dropped. It was the first time either girl had seen Ashley so passionate when it came to the subject of Madison and neither girl knew how to take it.

"Thank you, anyway." The Latina showed her thanks through a smile and turned to walk back into the club. "And by the way. I wouldn't have turned and ran." With that parting shot, the brunette walked out of the parking lot and into the club.

"Let's go." Spencer's voice cut into Ashley's confused mind and she quickly followed the blonde, unsure of what had just taken place and why Spencer was acting differently so quickly.

--

The ride home was silent save from the radio and Ashleys' breath hitching everytime she tried to start a new sentence. The whole journey saw Spencer staring out of the passenger side window, seemingly lost in her own thoughts and blatantly ignoring Ashley at all costs.

Finally, they pulled up outside of the Carlin household; ten minutes late. Ashley unbuckled her seatbelt and put a hand on Spencer's arm, before she had a chance to run screaming out of the car.

"What did I do wrong, Spence?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired." She wriggled out of the grasp and opened the car door. "I'll see you tomorrow." Before she had even finished the sentence, Spencer was out of the car and already halfway up her garden path.

"Oh, hell no." Ashley, too, jumped out of the car and made her way, quickly, to her girlfriend. "Stop, talk to me and tell me what I did. You were fine before we ran into Madison."

Spencer gave her a look and when Ashley didn't catch on, she sighed loudly and took a few steps towards her front door. Locked in an intense gaze, neither girl saw the front curtains twitch as Paula checked to make sure her children were home on time.

"Ashley...it's stupid, okay? It's nothing."

"It's obviously important to you if your upset, baby." As confused as Ashley was with the situation she just wanted to sort it out. She had a vague idea it linked to Madison but she honestly didn't see the big deal.

"Just..." Spencer looked at Ashley and only saw understanding. "I...got jealous. I mean - you talk about how you hate her and then you protect her like it's natural. I don't know. I guess you have this history with Madison that I don't know about and…it's big between you two..." She trailed off, ears burning with embarrassment and eyes refusing to look back at the brunette.

"Spencer." Ashley laughed a little at the absurd situation and took the blondes hands in hers. "It's you, okay? Yeah, Madison and I have this crazy past but it is nothing compared to what our future will be. I guess, me and her, we had such a good friendship that I still feel protective of her. I mean, if the situation had you in her place don't doubt how much I would have kicked that guy's ass." Spencer laughed at the determined expression on Ashley's face.

"I doubt nothing. I told you it was stupid."

"No, it isn't. If the situation was reversed I know I'd be feeling weird. I swear, when it's time I will tell you everything about me and Madison."

"Okay. Thank you." She pulled Ashley into a hug and smiled at how tight Ashley held her.

"You're welcome."

"Hm, you're the best girlfriend I've ever had." Spencer smiled goofily and watched as Ashley bit her lip self-consciously.

"As are you." For a moment, Ashley felt faint and she didn't like the idea of feeling so light headed. "Spencer, I love..." She took in a breath again and quickly finished her sentence. "I love you."

Just as Spencer opened her mouth to answer one foreign hand clamped down onto her shoulder and startled both girls. They both jumped apart at the presence of Paula and two sets of eyes looked at the older woman as fire burnt in her pupils.

"Don't you dare answer that Spencer Carlin." She looked between the two teenagers. "Ashley, you need to leave my property. Now. Me and Spencer have some talking to do."


	32. Better In Time

**What can I say? I think I'm on a roll. I wrote this about...2 hours ago. I thought to myself, "Kelly - that's my name - Kelly, you had such a decent response to Wednesday's chapter why don't you thank them with the next one?" So I did.**

**Not sure when I'll crank the last few out; according to the plan there is 38 chapters in all. So, there's 6 left. I wrote it all up last night - in notes - and that's my outcome. I might go over that, but it's winding down soon.**

**Thanks for the reviews! I wanted to reply individually but Fanfiction won't let me, apparently. So I'll do a mass thanks here.**

**THANKS!**

The clock was ticking a little too loudly in the corner, the shift of persons on a couch was too scratchy and untimed breathing was getting a little too rushed. Spencer wished, she was almost begging on the inside, for her mom to shout at her again. But instead, the two blondes sat in the Carlin living room; looking anywhere but at one another and ignoring the tension in the room.

Unconsciously, Spencer went to grasp at her phone in her pocket before remembering Paula had taken it off of her as soon as they stepped foot into the house. The eldest Carlin was hardly a stupid woman, she knew Spencer would automatically go to her phone and ring, or text, a sibling or Ashley. But that wasn't going to happen, it was half past twelve and whether they liked it or not; it was time to face the truth.

"Mom I --"

"Don't, Spencer, I don't want to hear it. Just wait until your father gets home."

Spencer's blue eyes rolled so far she was slightly afraid they would get stuck. What did Paula actually assume Arthur was going to do? Gang up on his only daughter and tell her to "straighten out" or leave? Then again, Paula was his wife and that came first. Didn't it? Almost twenty years of marriage cancelled out anything else.

"Mom, it won't change anything."

"We'll fix this, Spencer. No more Ashley, no more of this behaviour and I promise I'll make it better." Paula finally looked at her daughter and seemed to glance past her distraught expression. "Is it attention you want? I know I work a lot, honey, but I'm just trying to make us a happy home."

"It'd be happier if you let us live how we want to live."

Looking away, they fell into silence once more and Spencer closed her eyes. She didn't want to see her mom, the house, anything - it wasn't where she belonged. Right now, she should be in her room laughing at Ashley as the girl tried to change for bed and continue the conversation on the phone. She would then be explaining the delights of loud speaker and Ashley would mutter something under her breath, that she would then cover up with a compliment for her girlfriend. Right now, she shouldn't be in the living room with an angry mother, a confiscated phone and a ticking clock.

--

_"Ashley, please don't leave me." Spencer's voice was muffled as she was ushered into the doorway, a little too roughly._

_"I won't, you know I never would. Paula, she's doing nothing wrong."_

_"Don't bother coming back, Ashley. This thing is over tonight, understand?" On the final word Paula shut the door fiercely. The wood rattled in the frame and it was then, only then, that Spencer let the tears flow. _

_The door was separating her from Ashley, the girl who had just bared her feelings to her, and she knew with her mother in the way that door wouldn't be opened to her again._

--

The family car pulled up outside and briefly made the living room brighter as it slowed to a halt in the driveway. Shaking, Spencer looked towards the front door as, once more, her phone started to play Ashley's familiar ring tone. Her mother sent her a look that dared her to answer it, but Spencer knew that if she did there would be more than hell to pay. After a few moments, the front door burst open and three male Carlin members stumbled through.

"Sorry we're late. The boys wanted some burgers before coming home and -" Arthur stopped in his tracks as he saw Spencer's mascara smeared face and his wife's indifferent expression. Glen and Clay slowly made their way into the living room with their father and immediately, the other two siblings, headed to where their sister was sat.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" Clay sat next to his younger sister and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Glen took his place standing next to her, eyes flashing with desperation to know why his sister had been crying and why his mother was doing nothing about it.

"Apparently, Clay, your sister has decided to go against everything we believe in. Again." Paula stood up, hoping that by doing so her authority would be recognized and her sons would listen to what she had to say.

"What are you talking about, mom? What's going on?" Glen looked to his dad, but deep down knew exactly what was happening and hating the fact he couldn't do anything about it. The room went silent before Paula finally decided to break the news.

"I caught her tonight. With that Ashley girl, talking about girlfriends and..._love. _Right outside our front door, of all the places." She spat the words, almost disgusted at having to relay the information to her family members.

"So?" Glen looked confused as he sat on the arm of the chair.

"What do you mean, so? Glen, you know what the Bible says about this sort of behaviour and you know _exactly _how I feel about this behaviour." Paula took a step towards her son to which his confused frown only deepened.

"Yeah, well, the Bible also says it's fine to pimp out your kids and eating shell fish will sent you straight to hell."

"That's different, Glen, and you know it." Paula gestured wildly to Spencer, who was clinging onto Clay like her life depended on it. In turn, Clay was holding the small girl like she was a fragile piece of equipment and murmuring things to her that the rest of the family couldn't hear.

"I think what Glen is trying to say, Paula, is that some things in the Bible have changed. Society is more accepting and just because Spencer is gay, it dosen't make her any less of a person, any less of a daughter." Arthur reasoned, hoping his wife would see sense in her ridiculous tirade.

"People are less morally guided these days and that is why everyone is more 'accepting' of these acts." Shaking her head, Paula continued with just as much enthusiasm before. "And even if society is accepting, God isn't and neither am I."

"Mom, please..." Spencer's voice broke as she tried to speak.

"No, Spencer I obviously didn't do enough back home in Ohio. I swear to you now though, I'll fix you."

"Fix me? Mom, I'm not broken. This is who I am. It's who Ashley is." She was desperate, her eyes were watery and her lips red from biting them. She felt Glen put a reassuring hand on her arm and suddenly felt a lot more confident. "You can't change me. Why would you want to?"

"Ashley has chosen this way and from what I've heard, it's not helped her life chances. You're nothing like her, Spencer."

"And what have you heard? Mom, Ashley is one of the top in her classes. She's popular and a nice girl, what more do you want? She's done nothing to you." Clay spoke softly, hoping to calm his mother down with a reasonable attitude. "She's hardly out there doing drugs and drinking herself into oblivion. And if you paid any attention at all, you'd see Spencer has been at her happiest ever since she's been with her."

"Even so, Clay, a sin is a sin. This goes against everything I have ever taught you as children. It pains me to even see you're both acting like what your sister has been doing is nothing short of wrong and immoral. I raised you to -"

"Mom, you raised us to be good people. To not judge and discriminate just because people are different." Glen shook his head in disbelief, "There's a war going on, famine throughout massive areas, poverty in one of the richest countries of the world and Spencer being gay hardly touches those issues."

"Glen Carlin, don't use such a tone with me." Paula looked to her husband for support. Her husband who was smiling at how all three of his children were banding together to fight against hatred.

"What do you want me to say, Paula? That I agree? I don't. Spencer is still my daughter, whether she is gay or straight. Just like Clay is my son, despite his colour. I can't stand back and listen to this. Why can't you accept Spencer?"

"Because no daughter of mine is gay."

"But mom I am." Spencer cried, needing her mom to understand who she was.

"Well I'm sorry, Spencer. I can't accept this." Slowly, she knelt down in front of her daughter and looked her in the eyes. "I'll get you help, Spencer. There's this doctor, he's really very good, we'll fix this and everything will be fine again."

"Paula, would you listen to yourself? This is getting ridiculous. You're the only one in this household who won't accept our daughter for who she is." Arthur gently pulled his wife to her feet, but his tone was harsh and final. "You cannot change Spencer. She's a good kid."

"She's a sinner."

"She's your daughter."

"Not if this is the path she chooses."

--

_"Mom - I..."_

_"Phone, give me your phone now." She held out a hand and waited for her daughter to hand over the cell phone. Outside, they could hear Ashley starting the car and roaring away with dangerous speed._

_"She's too mad to be driving." Spencer babbled._

_"Well, she's in Gods hands in that sense. Isn't she?"_

_"She shouldn't drive when she's upset! She might get hurt." Her girlfriend wasn't well know for her patience and understanding. She was bound to be upset and driving somewhere at high speeds._

_"That isn't my problem." The cold tone that Paula had adopted shocked Spencer into silence. _

_She wasn't the same mom she grew up with._

--

The room went silent as the sentence passed through Paula's lips. Arthur looked at his wife, realizing only now that she wasn't the person he fell in love with all those years ago. Despite the bond a mother and a daughter shared, the woman in front of him was cutting it off without the slightest bit of guilt. He could see it in her eyes. She was that blinded by her stubborn attitude and her upbringing that she couldn't see how bigoted she was being.

"Mom..." Spencer started, the tears rolling down her cheeks as her eyes held hurt and confusion.

"No, I won't tolerate this behaviour and I won't accept this decision. I won't have a daughter who goes against the Lord's teachings and disobeys her parents."

"Parent, Paula, singular. I'm accepting of Spencer's decision. But you - you're a different person altogether. I thought I knew you." Arthur sank down into his chair, shock coursing through his body at the change in his wife.

Or, maybe there never was a change. Maybe this was how she viewed Spencer back in Ohio but never said it.

"This stops here, Spencer. You are not to see Ashley anymore." Paula started but was quickly cut off by her husband.

"She can see whomever she chooses too, Paula. If she wants to see Ashley then she can, understand?"

Paula stopped in her tracks and narrowed her eyes at Arthur. The two locked in a powerful gaze before the blonde broke it and turned to her children, all of whom were staring at her like they didn't know who she were anymore.

"Do you all hold this same view? That Spencer can go against all I have ever taught you?"

"Mom, she is still the same Spencer." Clay argued. "And yes, I agree with dad, you're taking this too far."

"He's right, mom. You're not being fair." Glen looked torn between crying and standing stubborn. In his mind, his mom was the woman who he should look up to. But now, now she was a complete stranger in his eyes.

"Well, I guess that's it then." Paula started towards the front door.

"Where are you going? It's almost one in the morning." Arthur stood up and watched as his wife put on a coat.

"I'm not staying in a house where I'm shot down for having the right beliefs. I won't be victimized."

"Like you wanted to make me, mom? How does it feel to have people disagreeing with what you believe in? Hating what you feel is right?" Spencer's wet eyes turned to her mom but they held a certain coldness about them when directed at her. "Unfair, isn't it?"

"Don't compare me to your life of sin, Spencer. What you're doing is sick and wrong. It's disgusting to even think about my own flesh and blood is..." She trailed off, her lip upturned at the very thought of her daughter and Ashley.

"Gay? Mom, the word is gay. Or lesbian if you prefer." Spencer shook her head. "You can't keep me away from Ashley. I love her."

"You people don't understand what love is. You're sick." The front door opened and Paula walked out, making sure to slam it behind her and causing the four family members to jump.

"Spencer..." Glen whispered, taking the girl into his arms and surrounding her. Trying his hardest as a brother to keep away anything that could potentially hurt her. He felt his shirt become wet and then held on tighter as her shoulders began to shake as the girl cried. He looked to his dad for support and he gave them all a wry smile.

"I'm proud of you all. I know I haven't been the best father in the world recently, I'm sorry for that. You've shown me tonight how great you all are, though. I promise I'll be better, okay?" He stood up and made his way to them, he knelt in front of Spencer, much like Paula had done, and put his hands on her knees softly.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break us." Spencer sobbed.

"You didn't. Your mom did when she walked out. You did nothing wrong."

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around all three of his children and held them close. He kissed the top of blonde hair and once more the room was filled with only the silent ticking of the clock on the mantel. This time though, Spencer felt comforted and safe with the familiar noise as she was held by her family.

Tomorrow would probably set off a whole new chapter; but right now she just wanted to feel secure and loved.


	33. What Happened To Us?

**I think I thanked a lot of you in PM's but FanFiction is being stupid. If I didn't, it wasn't purposeful; technical procedures baffle me. I barely know how to use MySpace; even Anna has to upload these chapters up for me, set up accounts and check through the work. **

**I love her.**

_**-- This chapter is dedicated to my best friend who gave birth on 19th June, to a beautiful baby girl. I'm proud as a Godmother and as "Auntie Kelly." - I've been showing her off, so at the end of this story I'll probably give you all a little peek to my gorgeous girl. --**_

**Chapter 33: What Happened To Us?**

Glen grabbed his bag from the backseat of the car, congratulating himself on a job well done that he actually remembered to bring it to school that day and not leave it in his room. He turned around, ready to run after his brother, when a tiny assailant grabbed his arm and pushed him against the car. He would have fought back if it wasn't for the girly scream that left his lips and the fact the person in front of him was his sisters' girlfriend.

"That had to be the most pathetic scream I have ever heard." Ashley deadpanned, before breaking into giggles at the boys' mortified face. She composed herself long enough to look seriously at Glen where she once more fell into fits of giggles.

"What do you want, Ashley?" He asked tiredly, hoping Ashley wouldn't use this information - that she obviously found highly entertaining - against him in the long run. Apparently, that caused the situation to become less funny and Ashley calmed down and became serious. He could tell the girl hadn't been sleeping and her eyes had a red tint about them that was suggesting Ashley had either been crying or drinking. His money was on crying, but he didn't want to say that; he valued his manhood.

"Where's Spencer? I haven't heard from her since Friday night." She frowned. It was Monday morning and Spencer had hardly been in contact the whole weekend, all she had gotten was an e-main late Saturday evening telling her she would explain everything soon.

"Mom took her phone when she walked out." Glen huffed; he adjusted his bag on his shoulder and lowered his gaze on the girl in front of her.

"She walked out?" He only nodded and Ashley bit her lip, unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry. Uh, not to be rude but you have a house phone, right?"

"Obviously." Smiling wryly, Glen shifted from foot to foot and tried to appear neutral but Ashley could see his eyes were a shade darker. Sure, he was upset over the situation - his mother had walked out! - but he was determined not to let it show; he had to be strong. "Look, Ashley, Spencer is really upset over what happened. She's hardly been out of her room and she isn't talking to anyone. Don't take it personally."

"Oh." As much as she wanted to be supportive, Ashley felt a little hurt in the knowledge that Spencer knew she was avoiding the brunette.

"My dad will be at the office all day today." He hinted with a smile. "And I doubt my mom will be by. Spencer slept in and I didn't want to wake her, she hasn't slept since that night."

"Thanks Glen." In a moment where both were shocked by her actions, Ashley leant forward and gave Glen a soft kiss on the cheek. The two teenagers looked at one another, before laughing uncomfortably and walking their separate ways.

"Hey Ashley." She turned around to see Glen pointing at her. "No funny business just because you're alone, okay?"

"Of course, I'll keep any funny business to a minimum."

"Good."

"But," She smirked, "I can't be too sure about sex and keeping that minimalised." She laughed at the shocked expression on Glen's face and took off before the blonde guy could register what had been said.

"Hey baby." Madison jumped out of the car that had just pulled into the parking lot. "What were you doing talking to Ashley?" She pulled a face as she watched Ashley jumping into her car. As much as she wanted to be close to Ashley again, she had to keep up appearances at school.

"She wanted to know where my sister was." He growled at the Latina, having no intention at all of being civil to her after hearing first hand of her homophobic slurs. "And I'm not your baby, Madison."

"Come on, don't be like that." She ran a finger down his collar bone to which he pulled away from, rather quickly. "Glen."

"No, don't _Glen _me." The blonde boy rolled his eyes at the pout on Madison's lips. "I have enough on my plate without your dramas that you're forever bringing to my table." He stalked off, muttering under his breath about how girls at college were looking better and better everyday.

Madison sighed and watched him go. Ever since the Carlins had arrived something was changing inside of her. Spencer had wriggled her way into Ashley's affections and Glen had done the same to her; they were just a bunch of heart stoppers. Clay even had a girlfriend who made public art shows dedicated to him and her love for the young man.

The cheerleader adopted a fake smile and pushed any trace of guilt, remorse or longing out of her mind and started the day as she meant to go on. Without a care for anyone else in the world except for herself; it was who she was meant to be.

--

Ashley decided if she pressed the front door bell any longer, her finger would either fall off or the battery would give out. Being as stubborn as she was, she figured she would be waiting longer for her finger to fall off and she continued to press the bell. Suddenly, the door was pulled open and Ashley was met with the adorable sight of a sleepy Spencer Carlin in her pyjamas.

"You're annoying." The blonde yawned, which only served more to making Ashley smile out of sheer cuteness.

"And you're adorable. Can I come in?" She motioned with her hands and Spencer merely stepped aside and let the girl into the silent house. "You're not at school."

"Neither are you."

"Because I missed you."

"I'm sorry." Spencer winced, realizing that she had been ignoring Ashley over the weekend. She had grown scared that Ashley didn't want to talk to her and then after a day, she convinced herself it was too late to phone her.

"Don't be. I was going to come and see you yesterday but I was frightened your mom would call the cops on my ass." She smiled, in an attempt to ease any tension, and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and breathing in her scent. She almost collapsed into tears when she felt Spencer nuzzling into her and chose to close instead her eyes.

"She walked out." Spencer's voice was quiet and Ashley rocked them slowly from side-to-side in an attempt to relax Spencer. "She just got up and walked out. She said she couldn't accept me being gay and because my brothers and my dad were okay with it she left."

"I'm sorry, baby." Softly kissing the top of Spencer's head, Ashley managed to get a watery smile from the taller girl and sent her one back. "Tell you what, how about I make you some breakfast and we just have a day to ourselves?"

"What about school?"

"Screw it. Who needs an education?" Ashley grinned and leant her forehead against Spencers'. "You're more important and from what I hear, you've had a rough weekend."

"Who tol -"

"Glen and he doesn't look a shining ray of light either. When did you last eat?" Their linked hands swung between them and Spencer grinned at the simple act of intimacy. As much of a front Ashley put up, of being a tough shell to crack, she was nothing like that really. In fact, Spencer often wondered if she was the more masculine one in the relationship. But, in cases like this, she knew Ashley was the protector of the two of them and she loved every minute of it.

"Eating, what's that?" Spencer feigned confusion and almost laughed at the worried expression on Ashley's face.

"God, you've gone far too long without food." The tone suggested mockery but Ashley was deadly serious. "I think Count Chocula is needed here, Miss. Carlin."

"Ashley..." Spencer smiled, happily being dragged along into the kitchen by an eager brunette. "Ash." She tugged on a soft hand and understanding eyes turned to her.

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

If Ashley was scared about being stupid and crying when she simply held Spencer, she had no idea what she was when she felt her eyes well up at the innocent admission that fell from her blondes lips. She wiped a stray tear quickly, disguising it as a scratch and turned to the cupboards. She felt Spencer wrap her arms around her from behind and place a kiss underneath her ear, causing a shiver to ripple throughout her body.

"I really do and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"We have our whole lives to say it, Spencer." The tanned girl smiled and leant back onto a strong body. "You know what else?"

"Hmm, tell me."

"You're brother screams like a girl." She laughed and felt Spencer smile against the sensitive skin of her neck.

"I know. You should hear him when I beat him at basketball..."

--

"Ninety seven." Ashley grinned and kissed a toned calf. "Ninety eight." A kiss was placed on a quivering stomach, so light Spencer momentarily didn't want to count it at all. "Ninety nine." Two kisses punctuated the top of her breasts. "One hundred." Was whispered against her lips before Ashley captured them into a slow, deep kiss that sent them both dizzy.

After breakfast, consisting of chocolate cereal and orange juice, the two girls had retired to Spencer's bedroom where they inevitably devoided themselves of clothes and made up for two lost days. Ashley had taken it upon herself to kiss her "100 favourite places of Spencer Carlin." which the blonde wasn't going to argue with.

"Mmm, I love your kisses."

"I love you." Ashley replied, blushing.

"I love you, too." Spencer giggled at her girlfriends red cheeks. Each time she had told her, the brunette had blushed a deep shade of red and quickly hid her face but this time she couldn't. The covers had long since been kicked off of the bed and the two were laid naked on the mattress.

"Spencer?"

"Yeah." The blonde looked up to Ashley and waited for her to continue. Her fingers were making random patterns on the tanned girls back and they traced the deep red scratches where Spencers' nails had dragged across skin earlier.

"I...You and your mom, you should have a relationship with her. Maybe you should go and see her, or something." Brown eyes caught blue and she hated how wide they got.

"She's the one who walked out, why should I go and see her?" Spencer pouted but knew Ashley was only trying to help.

"Look at me and my mom, Spence. I don't want you to have that kind of relationship." She ran her fingers through thick blonde hair and brushed it away from beautiful eyes. "Just...think about it, okay? For me."

"Yeah." The younger girl cuddled into Ashley and closed her eyes, content to just lay in the girls' arms and forget about the rest of the world. "Ashley, can you do something for me?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Sing to me until I fall asleep." She was already feeling sleepy, but the thought of drifting off to the sound of Ashley's soothing voice was more than appealing. The older girl was quiet for the longest time and Spencer was afraid Ashley wasn't going to do it, but she felt the girl pull her closer and closed her eyes.

_"Spend your life searching, waiting in line..."_

--

Arthur ambled into the house just as Paula was pulling up outside. He watched as his wife got out of the car and made her way to him, silence overpowered them and together they walked into the kitchen. They both stopped at the sight of Ashley stirring two cups of coffee, all three looked at one another and Ashley let the spoon drop into Spencers' cup.

"If I knew you'd be here I would have made you one." Ashley tried, knowing it was a lame try. She was happy when Arthur sent her a smile.

"Where's Spencer?" Paula demanded and in perfect timing, Spencer walked into the kitchen; clad only in her bathrobe after the shower Ashley forced her to take alone.

"I'm here." She took the cup from Ashley and thanked her silently. "Uh, what...what are you doing here, mom?"

"Me? Spencer, I live here. 'What is _she _doing here?' is the more appropriate question." The eldest blonde focused her gaze on the relaxed brunette who simply shrugged. Arthur stepped forward and placed a few papers onto the table and tried to hide his satisfied smile. Even though it was obvious the two girls had spent the day off of school together, evidence being the bowls in the sink, he was proud of her.

"She was worried when I didn't talk to her this weekend."

"Then she should learn to take a hint."

"You need to --" Ashley stopped whatever was about to come out of Spencer's mouth with a gentle tug on her arm. "What?"

"Maybe...we should go upstairs, or something." She suggested when she caught the look in Arthur's eyes. He smiled gratefully at her and Spencer didn't argue when the brunette pulled her out of the room and into the living area.

"You're just letting them go, Arthur? Can't you tell they've spent the day here doing God knows what? It's unacceptable."

"Yes, and I'll talk to them both about it after dinner. Right now, we need to talk." He sat down on a stool and waited for his wife to do the same. When she didn't he continued. "Where have you been staying?"

"Ben's." She replied quickly. She saw the hurt flash across his face but chose to ignore it, she could have male friends.

"Right, well maybe you should try and find elsewhere to stay. Or, together we can try and --"

"We don't need marriage counselling, Arthur. Do not suggest that again." Paula snapped at the man in front of her. "We don't need it."

"Obviously we do. Paula, we're more like bickering room mates than man and wife. You work all the hours under the sun and we've hardly been in the children's lives as much as we should have." He reasoned, wanting a drink but knowing it would do no good; he settled on having a glass of water. He wasn't going to ignore his children again.

"Are you saying it's our fault Spencer is acting like this? Because this doctor at work said attention is sometimes -"

"For Christ's sake, Paula, listen to yourself!" Finally, after having enough, Arthur vented his feelings. "Spencer didn't choose this lifestyle to piss you off. She didn't wake up and think the best way to get attention from us would be to kiss Ashley and throw it in our faces. Jesus, she wouldn't use someone like that."

They heard the front door open and shut, Glen and Clay had obviously just gotten home and voices indicated they were talking to the girls in the front room. Paula, in her shock, obviously didn't notice the new additions to the household and focused on Arthur.

"But -"

"No but's, there are no but's or just's or maybe's. She is who she is, let it be. The issue I'm trying to address, Paula, isn't about who our daughter dates. It's about our marriage and if it's working or not."

"What are you saying?"

"If we can't fix this then," He sighed, knowing his children were listening but not wanting to hide it any longer. "I'm saying I want a divorce."

Silence overcame them and Arthur didn't want to even imagine the looks on Glen, Clay or Spencer's faces right now. Here, on a Monday afternoon he was painted the bad guy as he struck the final nail into the coffin and ended a twenty plus year relationship with a six word sentence.

"Fine, fine, if that is what you want. I'll stay with Ben until this all blows over." Paula bristled and turned on her heel. On her way out, she barely acknowledged her three children who were all in a state of shock and her eyes bore straight into Ashley. "I hope you're happy now." She hissed at the brunette. "You've finally ruined us." The door slammed when she left the house and for a moment, time froze as all four teenagers stood shell shocked in the living room.

"It isn't either of your faults." Clay whispered. "This was a long time coming."

Arthur slowly walked into the room and Spencer broke away from the trio, heading to her father and gripping onto him like a life support. The other two siblings joined her and Ashley watched the family scene unfold.

"Ashley?" Arthur finally spoke up after long minutes of silence. The brunette looked at him and forced a smile, trying, as always, to be the strong one. "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

And like that the Carlins once more bounced back and Ashley didn't even try to hide the laughter that bubbled up. Glen was already bounding upstairs, Clay had kissed Spencers' forehead and then wandered into the kitchen and Spencer was already wrapping herself around Ashley again. How they had it in them, to regain normality so quickly, Ashley would never know.

"Sure, Mr. C, I'd love to."

But she hoped she would be around long enough to learn.


	34. Linger

His armed ached and his muscles were fighting against him but he was determined to finish. Apparently, back home, Mr. and Mrs. Dennison had a letter from the college had had applied to. He wasn't psychic, or egotistical, but he knew _exactly_ what was in that letter.

There was a slim to nil chance they had rejected him, afterall he was one of the best; and you didn't get a scholarship being crap at what you excelled in. So, as soon as his mother had squealed down the phone he had jogged over to the gym and began to beat the shit out of the stuffed punching bag.

He wanted to go, he would be a liar if he said otherwise and made it convincing. Hell, his dad had ordered the college hoodie and was parading it around the Dennison household like it wasn't embarrassing for a forty-two year old man to be doing that. No, he truly was excited. What bothered him was telling Ashley, and now Kyla.

Ashley refused to even talk about college, claiming she had another year left of high school and such prospects weren't even on her radar. In a private conversation on the computer while, he assumed, Spencer was asleep; Ashley told him she was simply planning on following Spencer wherever she went. Ashley had no ulterior goals to reach, everyone talked about how she would go into music but Ashley argued that music was her hobby; her passion. Sure, it would be great to be paid for doing something you love; but if she was, and then what would be her hobby then? A job was a chore to bring in money and if playing music was all she ever did, what would she do for time out? For herself?

She, though, had a surprising ability in English and Art. The girl would bounce onto her feet and sail through any job interview they threw at her; she had confidence and wit and a new outlook on life thanks to Spencer. All that aside though, Aiden knew Ashley was going to take him moving out of LA hard. Probably harder than his parents or closest family members. He had just broken the news he would be leaving to his youngest cousin, Hayden, and she had proceeded to cry and lock herself in her room for two days. Aiden just wished Ashley would have some reaction, maybe not like that, but something instead of the indifferent mask she put on right before she pushed someone away.

Just because he was leaving didn't mean he wouldn't be coming back. But, he knew, Ashley would be frightened about that. And when Ashley became scared or frightened, the brunette tended to bolt out of the nearest door and hide away for weeks. He just hoped Ashley wouldn't push Spencer away in the process too.

Sweat trickled down his arm, rolling onto his elbow and finally falling off onto the hard floor. He shifted positions and focused on the bag in front of him, imagining it to be Spencer's mom; the woman who had made Spencer cry and Glen reclusive. Generally, Aiden liked to pick things wrong in Glen's game and in turn Glen would fight back and they would argue. A male bonding ritual of sorts. But when Aiden had earlier supplied that Glen should focus more on his game and less on his goatee, Glen just looked at him and thanked him for the tip.

Sure, there was probably a lot more to it; but Damnit, Aiden liked fighting with the guy.

"Hey handsome. What'ya doing?" Madison walked into the gym and ignored the whistles directed at her.

"Waiting for the bus. What does it look like I'm doing?" Aiden shook his head, knowing Madison was either there to cause trouble or to tell him that trouble was going down.

He wanted to know what happened to the Madison they used to know. The Madison who sat with Ashley, holding her little hand, as Aiden's mom cleaned up a nasty cut on Ashley's knee. Or, the Madison who taught Aiden how to ice-skate because she took to it quicker than the other two. He missed that Madison. Now, the one in front of him was more likely to cause a cut on the knee and laugh at people who couldn't stand up on the ice.

"I was just trying to strike up conversation, Aiden. Is that a crime?" She actually looked hurt he was avoiding her. He rolled his eyes at the thought. She hadn't given him a second thought when she kissed Ashley behind his back. At least his best friend practically camped outside his house, cried onto his shoulder and begged for his friendship and forgiveness.

"What do you want, Madison? My mom will be here soon." That was a lie. His uncle had let Aiden have his Toyota whilst he was away on a cruise and Aiden was driving anywhere he could in it whilst he had it. The car was outside ready to be driven home.

"It's been too long since we last spoke." She announced, watching as he unwrapped his own fists and put the cloth into his sports bag.

"Not long enough. Don't you have some Mathlete to torment or make-up to apply?" He lifted the large bag over his bronze shoulders and looked at the petite girl.

"Aiden..." Madison sounded pained and he almost felt bad. Almost. "Look, I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything. The past and how I've been acting towards you, and Ashley."

"Right. Where's Ashton Kutcher and his team of merry cameramen?"

"I'm being serious. I wanted to make it right with you before you go off to college." Her frown deepened when she saw nothing in his eyes to show he believed her.

Aiden shook his head and began to walk out of the gym. He glanced back to see a dejected looking Madison and swore at his inner Christian values. He motioned with his head for her to follow him and she quickly caught up. They walked in silence to the silver car and he unlocked it, throwing his bag in the back and narrowly missing crushing the flowers Kyla and he had bought to cheer up Spencer. If he had killed them it was likely Kyla would hurt him.

"Why now? Why, after all these years, do you want to make it right now? I mean, God Madison, you've had forever to say your sorry. Yet all you seemed to do is put Ashley down 'cause she's gay and verbally assault her daily." He opened the car door hoping to show he wasn't up to talking for too long.

"Aid, I've...I miss the friendship we once had, you know? Me, you and Ashley. It's like, I'll look over during lunch and it's almost as if Spencer has taken my place..."

"Yeah, but at least Spencer owns up liking Ash and dosen't fuck with her head." He muttered knowing telling her wouldn't harm anything. Everyone practically knew now and Ashley and Spencer hardly hid the innocent kisses before each class.

"It's not...That isn't..." She faltered and Aiden took pity.

"Look, I get you. I miss it too but you've changed too much for us to be 'best friends' again. I'll accept your apology and, yeah, I'll be your friend. Life's too short to hate someone. But if you're serious, about being sorry, I'm not the one you should be apologising to." He got into the car and watched as Madison mulled over the information.

"Ashley won't look at me..." She was almost talking to herself. "Aiden, I do want to change. I'm sick of pretending someone I'm not; you know I'm not really like this. I'm just...sick of it, you know."

"Then go to Ashley. You'd be surprised how much Spencer has changed her, for the better." He closed the door and started the car. Once more, Madison was looking lost and he sighed before rolling down the window.

"Hey Madison." Green eyes looked to him and he popped open the passenger side door. "No time like the present, right?" Madison hesitated, looking a little more than scared and a lot like the old Madison he used to know. Slowly, she joined him in the car and gave him a tentative smile.

"What if she throws me out, or something?"

"I wouldn't blame her. But at least you can say you gave it a go."

--

"So, what did your mom say?" Ashley asked tracing patterns on Spencer's stomach with her finger as she laid her head on the taller girls chest. Spencer had promised she would go and talk to her mom during her dinner break, considering she had a free period afterwards. It gave her plenty of time.

"I couldn't see her. I stopped her outside an examination room but she said she was busy so..." Outside they heard a car pulling up but both knew it was Aiden. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about her. College letters have been sent out today, has Aiden heard anything?"

"Dunno." The brunette replied shortly, perfecting her invisible name on Spencer's taught stomach. One day, she planned, she was going to actually write her name on the tanned belly and see how much trouble she got into.

"Glen got into UCLA and Ohio but he's talking about not going." Obviously the blonde didn't pick up on the tone used by Ashley, or if she did she wasn't saying anything.

"Why?"

"He wants to go into Sport's medicine and therapy, or something. Figures he would learn better hands on than in a classroom." They both listened to Aiden on the stairs. He was talking to somebody and Ashley furrowed her eyebrows. It couldn't be Kyla, she was with her mom sorting out schooling options for next year and Taylor had been avoiding Ashley like she had a disease.

The door opened in a flash but neither girl moved, Aiden knew about them and whoever he was with would have to deal with it. Plus, Spencer made for a comfy pillow and Ashley wasn't giving that up any time soon. Aiden walked in, looking a little worse for wear and dropped his sports bag near the couch in Ashley's bedroom. He began to walk to the drum set when he must have realised something. Turning around, he waited in the doorway until a significantly shorter girl walked in.

Ashley's eyed widened and a storm blew behind chocolate eyes. Spencer must have felt her tense, because the hand that was softly stroking the skin on her lower back stopped suddenly and instead pulled her closer to her body. Together, they watched as Madison tentatively walked into the room and stood near Aiden.

"I'll make this real simple, Madison. Get out of my room, get out of my house and get away from Aiden."

"Ashley..." Aiden started only to stop quickly when the glare sent his way all but made his stomach drop. He should have known this was a bad idea.

"If you even think for a second I'll accept this...this...reunion of sort you're sadly mistaken. Aiden, what about Kyla?" She sat up but didn't move away from Spencer. "God, this is a joke right? I mean, Madison wouldn't be here voluntary unless it was to piss me off."

"Ashley, I'm not here to piss you off."

"Well you should because your doing a damn good job at it, even if your not trying. Seriously, leave before I do something I'm hardly going to regret." She felt a soft hand on her forearm and unconsciously leant back into Spencer, knowing the blonde wasn't going to let her go and do something stupid.

"I'm sorry." The Latina mumbled behind Aiden who was pushing her forward to continue. "For, you know, threatening you and Spencer. And, for all the other stuff."

A moment passed and then another before anyone said anything. Spencer sent her an appreciative smile and Aiden muttered for her to 'go on' but she was waiting for Ashley's reaction. What she didn't expect was for the girl to start laughing.

"I'm asleep, right? This is a dream. I've had sex and collapsed, or something."

"Ashley!" Spencer reprimanded before flushing the most perfect shade of red anyone in the room had ever seen. "Just...listen to what she has to say."

"No, Spencer, she's made my life hell since I was young and _now _she wants to apologise? What about when you were spreading rumors about me? What about saying you were sorry when I was being beaten by your friends for being gay?" She heard Spencer gasp but she wasn't going to go back there and relive it.

"God, Ashley you know I had nothing to do with that. I - I wouldn't. I'm not...It's not who I am."

"Fuck, don't come in here and lie. You knew _exactly _what was going on. Jesus, I know I'm not perfect but I didn't deserve all the shit you served me for being gay." Ashley stood up and Spencer followed, quickly flanking her so she didn't lash out.

"We make mistake, Ash. I want to make it right."

"Because you're little Miss. Holier than thou? Don't make me laugh." She stepped forwards but Madison hardly batted an eyelid. "Oh, or have you finally realised you're into girls and need friends? I'm not some toy you can just use, Madison."

"I don't like girls." The taller girl defended, closing her eyes. She knew what was coming.

"Really? I got the distinct impression you did at Kyla's party when you practically jumped me in the guest bedroom. If Aiden hadn't had walked in..."

Ashley stopped herself before she could launch into the juicy details and looked at Spencer. She saw confusion behind the blue eyes she loved so much and kicked herself for not telling the blonde sooner about it. Thankfully, Spencer seemed to shake it off.

"We weren't together, Spence." She spoke softly, hoping Spencer wouldn't run screaming from the house at the confession.

"I know. I kind of figured you two had something anyway." The blonde smiled. "Don't worry, I know you're mine." Together, they turned back to Madison who was shifting uncomfortably.

"I do want to make it right, Ashley. Please, I want my old friends back. I miss you."

"One chance." Aiden suggested softly, to which Spencer nodded to and Ashley simply glared. "I know she's hurt you in the past, Ash, but you're no perfect person."

"Fine." She snapped. "But only because Aiden said so. This dosen't make us close or even remotely 'best friends' again, understand?" Holding onto Spencer's hand, she looked to her girlfriend and raised an eyebrow. "Wanna go call your mom and see if you can stay over?"

"Sure."

"Perfect!" She started to drag Spencer out of the room before stopping and looking at Aiden and Madison. "Aid, Kyla said she would be around before dinner so you can stay."

"Cool." He knew full well dinner would consist of Pizza and Coke, but dinner with Ashley and Spencer, probably making out, was better than dinner with his parents and the college acceptance.

"Madison..." The brunette started before stopping. "Uh, we're having take-out for dinner. You can...stay, or whatever." Aiden smiled as he walked to the drum set. She was trying at least, for his sake and Spencer's.

"Is that okay?"

"I wouldn't have offered." She shrugged and made her way out of the room with Spencer.

Together they walked down the stairs, where Spencer stopped her and hugged her tightly. She returned it with a confused look, but reveled in being in the girls arms for no apparent reason. When the blonde pulled away, she saw a gentle smile on her face.

"You've given me hope, you know?"

"For what?" Ashley questioned, refusing to let go of Spencer just yet.

"If you can forgive Madison, maybe my mom can forgive me -- not that I'm sorry for anything. So, technically she wouldn't have to forgive. You understand, right?"

"Yeah. But, baby, I haven't forgiven her; I just can't be bothered with anymore drama. If being civil means me and you can relax, then I'll be civil." She kissed Spencer's forehead and then nose. "It'll take time and so will your mom."

"I know. Let's forget about that though and convince my dad I'm staying over to study."

"And by study you mean..."

"Make out, of course."

"I knew I loved you for a reason, Carlin."

Spencer rolled her eyes and went in search for her school bag with her cell in it. She knew it would all take time but she was only seventeen. If Ashley Davies, of all people, could swallow her pride and put issues into the past then maybe, just maybe, so could her mom.

Time would tell.


	35. AN About Hiatus

**NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER, GUYS. SORRY.**

I know these messages are not allowed on fanfiction but I figured it was okay for me to do this, plus; I will remove if needed.

This story is going on a temporary hiatus as of today. Kelly has been having some issues with her stomach as of late, and just recently that has all boiled over. She has been in bed for the past two days and the stupid girl decided, today (July 7), she could manage to pull her new double mattress up a flight of stairs on her own.

Stubborn as she is, she did it and then acted like she wasn't hurt. Then, of all things, the radiator in her living room burst and she had to sort that out, alone.

So, basically, she has messed up her stomach even further and can hardly stand, walk, eat or lie down. She said she'll be fine in a few days, but guys, and I know she'll hate me for saying this, but she said she would be fine about her knees and it turns out she fucked her ACL. Whatever, she is a stubborn cow so she might throw out a chapter or two - but I'm keeping her to strict bed rest.

(As much as I'd like to use that to my advantage she isn't into girls, GODDAMN! Lol)

Also, her best friends baby has just come down with a small cold so she is worried about that. And one of her other best friends has made a rare trip to our little town for a visit, so she'll get up and out of bed to go and see her. Plus, which I forgot, she has volunteered for the next two weeks to work in the local pre-school.

Anyway, she's already glaring at me now. But I thought I'd say this story may drag over into August and I don't know when the next update will be. She says next week, I say she needs to rest until at least the end of next week. I think you'd all agree.

As a friend, she's worn herself out (roll eyes) and as stubborn as she is; I think she's realised this.

Anyway, she's poking me and telling me to give you a snippet of the next chapter; which I'll copy and paste to the end of this. As I said, this is on a temporary hiatus so please don't think she has abandoned it. Oh no, I've just told her not to write until she can actually stand vertical properly once more.

Thanks for reading my ramble, you don't hear much from me afterall; do you?

Anna.

--

_"Paula, are you out of your mind? Custody being granted to you would be..."_

_"What?" The blonde snapped. "I'm their mother, Arthur, whether you like it or not! I gave birth to two of our children and a home to our third. I have as much right as you."_

_"The same right you had when you walked out? Give me a break." The dark haired man stood up against his wife and his anger showed in his bright eyes. "I'll care for the children. You only want them so you can control them further. You'd take Spencer from Ashley and the boys from their friends, just to prove a point. I won't let that happen. Not in my house!"_

_"Dad?" _

_Together, the parents turned to face their children. Arthur closed his eyes as he saw the tear tracks curving down his daughters face, to her left stood Glen and Clay and behind her; Ashley was holding onto her arm protectively. _

_"Mom, what's going on?" Clay asked dumbly, unsure of what else to say. _

_"Kids, maybe you should go to your rooms. This is something me and your father need to discuss alone." Paula offered gently, reaching out to Glen who pulled back harshly and glared at his mother._

_"That's bullshit, the whole damn neighborhood can hear you two. Not that it makes a difference. God Mom, he's right, you walked out and we were made to watch it."_

_"Glen...I was angry and upset..."_

_"Because you wouldn't accept that we all have a different opinion to you! You walked out 'cause we accept Spence and you're too small minded to get off of your fucking moral high ground. If you'd open your eyes for a second you would see how happy Spencer and Ashley are and how easier it'd be for us all if you'd just accept who she is." _

_Spencer looked to her brother and saw how mad he really was. She was smart enough to know this had nothing to do with her and Ashley and everything to do with his world crashing down around him. Glen was a "mummy's boy" and now he was forced to see her as she really was; he didn't like it._

_"Don't speak to me like that, young man."_

_"Why not? It's how you speak to us." _

_A slap echoed around the now silent room and Glen put a hand to his cheek, quickly flanked by his sister and older brother. Paula stood shaking, her right hand was still in mid-air and her blue eyes were an ocean of tears._

_"I'm sorry. Glen, honey, I'm so -"_

_"I think you should go." Arthur stated firmly. "Now." _

--

There ya go.

As I said, don't know how long the wait will be until this story is _finally _finished so we can start new projects but as soon as she's feeling better; I'll make her play catch up lol.


	36. Iris

**This is a bit longer than usual but I couldn't find a decent place to cut it off. Sorry for the delay, people. **

**Turns out I had a water infection, or something. But I'd left it two or so weeks and it spread to my appendix (they got inflamed) and my kidneys. The moral of this story? If you feel ill, go to your doctor, they know more than you. **

**Anyway, I'm good now and thanks for the kind words. I'm still in bed but Anna came from London and threw her old laptop at me, since the computer is broken anyway. She's such a good girl. Edit: Got my ex to fix it today, haha.**

**--**

"Sprinkles?" Taylor's voice interrupted Ashley's very important daydreaming of Spencer and she frowned at the inconvenience. She simply nodded and held out her hand, waiting for the fairies Taylor always talked about to give her the ice-cream. Like magic, it dropped gracefully into her hand and Ashley grinned.

"Good fairy."

"Excuse me?"

Ashley decided it would be better to simply eat her ice-cream than have to answer that question. The mall was crowded and the two walked off to the side to sit on an obnoxiously large bench, with a fountain behind it that held two stone statues of a couple who apparently enjoyed being nude.

"So, what's up?" Taylor started, taking a small, delicate, bite out of her ice-cream bar. Ashley's lip curled at the sight and she clenched her mouth shut, hating when anyone took a bite from a frozen object.

"Nothing, and don't bite ice-cream. It'll rot your teeth."

"No it won't."

"It's gross. Lick it like normal people." At that, the lighter brunette raised an eyebrow and Ashley laughed. "Don't be a perv."

"I didn't say anything." They sat in silence for a moment before Taylor looked at her friend again. "So, what is this 'big mission' you told me about?"

Taylor had awoken to the shrill sound of her phone. She had opened it, only to be greeted with a message from Ashley begging her to come to the mall with her. Reluctantly, she had agreed and had fallen out of bed and into the shower with no clue as to why.

"I'm buying Spencer a gift to make her smile again." Ashley stated, licking a sprinkle off of her lip. "Her mom has pretty much found out about us and she walked out on them. Spencer is blaming herself, even if she says she isn't, and I want normal Spencer back."

"Cute, little Ashley is all in love."

"I am." The girl confirmed. If Taylor were fazed at all by the declaration she didn't show it, nor did she react to it at all.

"So…"

"So…what?"

"What are you buying her?"

"Ah, that is where you come in my friend." With a perfect aim, Ashley sunk her napkin into the nearby trashcan and looked to the pretty girl next to her. "If you was Spencer, what would you love for me to getchya?"

"What about a grammatically correct sentence?"

"Taylor!"

"Ashley!" The New York native laughed at Ashley's expression and shook her head. "Do you really need to buy her something? If I was feeling crappy, all I would want around me would be my girlfriend. Not something materialistic."

"Wise words; coming from little Miss. Material Girl." Ashley grinned cheekily and took a bite out of the chocolate cone.

"Hey, Madonna has some perfectly valid points." Taylor waved her hands, after disposing of the sickly desert, dismissing the subject of Madonna. "Ash, she'll just want you."

"But I want to get her something that in thirty years time she can look at and remember I was there for her and that she's strong and perfect and…Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You really love her, don't you?" The brunette licked her lips as she regarded her newly in-love ex.

"Yeah and I know she knows, but I wanna show her. You know I've always kicked ass in show and tell." Chocolate eyes swam with amusement but they watched Taylor carefully.

"I'm going to New York." The girl blurted out, shocking Ashley and an old man sat next to her. "I'm going next week actually. I'm staying with mom and Darryl, he offered me a small job where he works and it'll give me time to build a relationship with my mom."

Ashley narrowed her eyes. Behind her pupils she could feel a headache forming and her jaw was aching from being clenched. She shook her head, only causing her headache to worsen, and stood up.

"How long have you known?"

"Since they invited me and you out. Remember, Darryl took me outside that one time and he told me then."

"And it just slipped your mind to tell me? Taylor, you could have said it anytime."

"Come on, Ash. It's not like I have anything to stay for here in LA. My dad is trying to impress his latest squeeze, my brother hates me for choosing dad over mom and it's not like there aren't any schools in New York – I'm way ahead, I can miss the end of this year."

"You have Aiden, Kyla and you have friends. You have me."

"No." Taylor shook her head. "No, I don't have you Ash. I never did and I never will because Spencer does. And I'm happy for you, honestly I am. It's just – I thought we had a chance, a new chance, when we met at that basketball game." She bit her lip and Ashley took the opportunity to jump in.

"But we make great friends. I'm sorry if I made you think anything else might happen but we broke up for a reason, we weren't meant to be."

"I accept that, I do, but I have to get out of LA for a while. Not just because of you, other things; like my dad."

"Why did you get close just to walk away again? Why does everyone do that to me?" Ashley's voice had taken on a deeper quality, only seen when the girl was upset or angry.

"I'm not walking –"

"Yes you are! Everyone does. Its bad enough Aiden is running halfway the country; Kyla might go back to Baltimore and now you? Who next? Spencer."

"Don't doubt Spencer, Ashley. You know you'll only push her away. Like you said, she needs someone now." Taylor tried to reason with the emotional girl. She knew Ashley would panic and had anticipated a reaction; it was just the way the girl worked.

"You know what? Go, its fine." Ashley shrugged and gave a wry half-smile. "If it's what you want then you should go."

"Yeah…"

The awkward moment was broken as Ashley's phone began to ring loudly. With a long search through her bag, she located the cell and flipped it open; grinning when she saw the ID.

"Should you be calling when you're in the cinema?"

"The film finished," Spencer replied. "It was so good. Chelsea cried but I didn't." She sounded so much like a child that Ashley could barely suppress the grin. In the background she could hear Chelsea shout something but she could hardly make it out.

"How much popcorn did you eat exactly, baby?"

"Not much." Spencer giggled and Ashley waited for the right answer. "We bought two large ones and coke."

"Figured as much…"

"Oh, Ash I want Wall-E!" The blonde girl laughed. "He was so cute. Can I have him?"

"No." Ashley smiled but was already searching for any close by toy-stores that might sell the cute robot figure.

"Aww. I have to go, me and Chels are going for something to eat; but I'll call you later?"

"Sure. Am I still coming to yours for dinner?" She asked, moving away from the bench to let an older couple sit down.

"Yep, it's a bit late though. Be at mine for seven, okay?" Ashley heard some giggling and once more heard Chelsea shouting about something. She made a mental note to never, ever, give those two popcorn and coke again.

"Okay." She spotted Taylor looking uncomfortable and sighed internally. "Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to go, but I will see you tonight."

"Okay, I miss you though. So maybe you can come earlier?" The question was so innocent that Ashley had to smile.

"Six it is. Uh, Spencer."

"Yes?"

"Don't, you know, don't ever leave me…" It sounded stupid and Ashley closed her eyes.

"I would never do that, Ash. I'd miss you and your kisses too much." Spencer nodded as though Ashley could see her punctuating her point.

"Okay, go have lunch. I love you."

"Love you too, bye!" The phone was put down by a giggling Spencer before Ashley could reply, but she didn't mind; she said the important words.

"Hey Taylor." Ashley called to her friend, in hopes it would put a halt to any awkwardness for the rest of the day; she wanted to spend time with the girl before she left.

"Hmm?"

"Fancy helping me find something called Wall-E?"

--

Spencer closed her eyes and ground her teeth together. Glen, her brother, was amazing whenever the time came. He was supportive of her relationship with Ashley, he had matured and hardly teased her. But right now, in this moment, she was ready to rip off his head.

"Would you quit bouncing that fucking basketball?" She yelled out of her open window. The incessant _bounce, bounce, bounce _was driving her nuts and the occasional _bang _as it hit the garage door, instead of the basket, was hitting her last nerve.

"Come down here and make me." Glen yelled back, bouncing the ball harder; just to annoy his sibling. "I'll stop when you're polite. Manners cost nothing."

"I swear to God Glen, if you do not give it a rest I'll come down there and…"

"Spencer Carlin!" A familiar female voice interrupted her tirade from the doorway. Blue eyes looked over to see Ashley standing there with a grin on her face.

"He's annoying me."

"Close your window."

"It's hot in here."

"Take off all your clothes?"

"Ashley." Spencer smiled. "My mom is here I wouldn't be able to." The brunette nodded and walked into the bedroom, purposefully closing the door, and went to sit on the bed next to the blonde.

"I saw the car, my Porsche nearly made it kiss it's ass. What does she want?"

"To talk about the divorce, and stuff." Spencer sighed and shook her head, "I guess it's really happening."

"Maybe that's a good thing, though? You and your brothers all said it." Ashley leant forward and kissed the pouting girl gently, trying to bring out the smile she loved so much.

"Maybe, I don't know." Reaching her hand up, Spencer played with the loose curls that hung around Ashley's shoulders and distracted herself with the silky feel.

"Hey, don't look so sad. Wall-E wouldn't like it." With that, Ashley yanked out a key chain with a small sized Wall-E hanging from it. Spencer laughed at the gift and held it close, after pulling it out of the tanned hand.

"Aww, he's so cute! Chelsea agrees." She chuckled. "Just look at his big goofy eyes."

"Just like his mommy Spencer." Ashley cooed, earning her a smack on the thigh.

"Well, he must get his fascination with bras from his mommy Ashley then." Spencer countered, still cradling the toy they were referring to as their child.

"True. Hey, I bought you something else."

"Ashley." Spencer started to argue but the words failed her when Ashley pulled out a small Tiffany's bag from her clothes bags. "What did you…Why are you buying…."

"To show you I love you." Slowly she shook the bag off of the small box and handed it to the shocked blonde. "To make your eyes smile again. To show you I'm always here."

"You didn't have to. I haven't even bought you anything since we started dating." Guilt hit her like a racing truck but Ashley shook her head.

"I have so much money I could buy anything I wanted. I only want you, and your kisses and the sex…" She trailed off and smiled. "If you feel the need to buy me something you can go ahead – but you're what I need."

Speechless, Spencer cracked open the box and stared at the white gold bracelet that hugged the silk inside. It was turned upside down so the inscription, _Spencer and Ashley. 2008 – Forever, _was smiling up at her in the light.

"I swear, you flash a bit of cash and a bit of cleavage and they'll do anything for you in just under five hours…" The brunette was nervous at the lack of response and fiddled with the ring on her thumb. "Uh, if it's too much I can…"

The rest of the sentence was cut off as Spencer propelled herself forward and claimed Ashley's lips with her own, instantly deepening it and causing the smaller girl to fall back onto the bed.

No further words were spoken.

--

"Paula, are you out of your mind? Custody being granted to you would be..."

"What?" The blonde snapped. "I'm their mother, Arthur, whether you like it or not! I gave birth to two of our children and a home to our third. I have as much right as you."

"The same right you had when you walked out? Give me a break." The dark haired man stood up against his wife and his anger showed in his bright eyes. "I'll care for the children. You only want them so you can control them further. You'd take Spencer from Ashley and the boys from their friends, just to prove a point. I won't let that happen. Not in my house!"

"Dad?"

Together, the parents turned to face their children. Arthur closed his eyes as he saw the tear tracks curving down his daughters face, to her left stood Glen and Clay and behind her; Ashley was holding onto her arm protectively.

"Mom, what's going on?" Clay asked dumbly, unsure of what else to say.

"Kids, maybe you should go to your rooms. This is something me and your father need to discuss alone." Paula offered gently, reaching out to Glen who pulled back harshly and glared at his mother.

"That's bullshit; the whole damn neighbourhood can hear you two. Not that it makes a difference. God Mom, he's right, you walked out and we were made to watch it."

"Glen...I was angry and upset..."

"Because you wouldn't accept that we all have a different opinion to you! You walked out 'cause we accept Spence and you're too small minded to get off of your fucking moral high ground. If you'd open your eyes for a second you would see how happy Spencer and Ashley are and how easier it'd be for us all if you'd just accept who she is."

Spencer looked to her brother and saw how mad he really was. She was smart enough to know this had nothing to do with her and Ashley and everything to do with his world crashing down around him. Glen was a "mummy's boy" and now he was forced to see her as she really was; he didn't like it.

"Don't speak to me like that, young man."

"Why not? It's how you speak to us."

A slap echoed around the now silent room and Glen put a hand to his cheek, quickly flanked by his sister and older brother. Paula stood shaking, her right hand was still in mid-air and her blue eyes were an ocean of tears.

"I'm sorry. Glen, honey, I'm so -"

"I think you should go." Arthur stated firmly. "Now."

"I'll choose to leave if I see fit. I'm his mother, I need to apologise and -"

"Right now, you're not fit to choose if you should leave or fit enough to be a mother. Leave my house now." He put his hand on her elbow and ushered her quickly to the front door. His eyes were glazed red, furious at the very thought his wife would strike one of their children.

"Glen, are you alright?" Ashley looked at him, completely lost when it came to family issues. More than anything she wanted to run out of the front door and away from the fighting – but Spencer had a firm grip on her hand that was unlikely to loosen any time soon.

"I will be," he smiled, "as soon as I get something to eat. Dad, I'm starving."

"Set the table then, guys." Arthur shouted back, his forehead leaning against the door heavily as his eyes shut.

--

"I can't believe you bought me a bracelet from Tiffany's. I don't dare to think how much you paid for it." Spencer murmured, lying in her back yard on the grass. Ashley was sitting on the blonde's hips, occasionally dropping grass onto a toned stomach.

"I can't believe your mom slapped Glen."

"I can't believe dad threw her out."

"I can't believe how well your dad actually cooks. I feel like I could burst."

"I can't believe how much you ate, you pig."

"I can't believe that either, actually."

"I can't believe how beautiful you look."

"I can't believe you're mine."

"Believe it, Ash, that's never going to change."

"Okay."

Lips met once more and Spencer let out a sigh of relief things were heading back to normal.


	37. Summer Shudder

**Thanks for the reviews :) I'll try and get next chapter out soon, hopefully. I have a few things to do before then, what with friends and family members all deciding to have children lol.**

Aiden slowly trotted over to his and Ashley's usual lunch table, though now it consisted of him, Ashley, Spencer, Glen and Glen's latest squeeze. He was glad he never learnt their names, he didn't need to, considering that they never lasted too long.

He approached the table to find Ashley fighting with Spencer. The brunette had the girl pinned to the side of the table, but as Spencer was leaning back; the position was rather interesting to the young male. Out of his peripherals he could see Madison talking to Glen and he quickly decided who he should talk to first.

He focused his attention on the two girls.

"If you loved me you'd give me that brownie." Ashley pouted, reaching for the chocolate desert only to be foiled when Spencer pulled it out of her reach.

"If you loved me you'd let me have it. I need it, I'm a growing girl." Spencer countered, giggling as Ashley pushed against her further; causing her to lean back on the table and close to having the brunette practically topping her. She knew Aiden was pretty much drooling over their fight, but the brownie was worth it.

"You're big enough, you're taller than me remember?"

"That's not a hard feat to accomplish, Ash." The blonde ducked out from under the singer and ran to Aiden for cover. "Help me, she's rabid."

"I am not, I'm hungry and you have food." Aiden looked from Ashley to Spencer and back again before bringing out a charming smile.

"I can fix this." He announced, causing both girls to look at him like he'd grown another head. "What? I'm not all steroids and muscle, you know? I have a brain." Still, the girls looked at him disbelieving and he sighed. Easily, he took the cake from Spencer's little hand and popped it into his mouth.

"You jerk! That was mine." Ashley whined, before getting a look from Spencer. "I mean, it was hers!"

"Mine now. Plus, you're not trying to get your freak on anymore in a public place." He licked his fingers and smiled again, only less charming because of the chocolate on his teeth.

"We were not getting our freak on, loser." Spencer argued, sitting down next to Ashley and opening a pack of chips for them to share.

"Yeah, we'd have to be naked for that to happen. Spencer wouldn't do it." The brunette chuckled, only just ducking out of the way of a flying potato chip that Spencer hurled at her.

"Uh, Ashley…Do you, do you mind if I sit here?" Ashley looked up to the nervous face of Madison Duarte. Glen, who had accompanied her, threw himself next to Aiden and the two struck up a conversation about soccer. Spencer eyed them curiously, wondering how the hell guys could just fall into conversation about sports so quickly.

"Here? With us? The lesbians."

"I'm not a lesbian." Aiden pointed out. "But I do like girls, all girls; not guys. Because I'm not gay, since I like…girls…so…Yeah. Continue."

Rolling her eyes, Ashley simply nodded to the Latina and she gratefully sat down next to Ashley in the only free space. A few minutes went by in uncomfortable silence for the girls, as Glen and Aiden continued talking about jockstraps – or whatever the hell it was they were getting excited over.

"What about that basketball game on TV last night, huh?" Spencer tried desperately to start a conversation, like her brother and friend did, but all she got in return were two blank stares.

"Baby, you don't watch basketball. Plus, you were at mine. We didn't watch TV." Ashley sounded amused and crunched a salted chip.

"I was trying to start a conversation." She mumbled back, only smiling when Ashley kissed her cheek and called her cute.

"I'm surprised you didn't watch it. Ashley used to be a huge fan of sports." Madison stated eyes widening as if she had only just realised she'd spoken. She looked to the other two and waited, with bated breath, to have something said to her.

"It's true, I liked sports." Ashley shrugged. "Then I started feeling nauseous at the sight of men in tight shorts."

"There's nothing wrong with it in my opinion." Madison replied, trying to keep conversation light.

"You do know you're talking to a lesbian couple, right?" Spencer asked, causing Ashley to choke. In the past, Spencer had never referred to them as a gay couple; and yet there she was openly saying it to Madison.

"What can I say? I like to see what's on offer before I purchase." The Latina shrugged, smiling when the other two girls laughed and the boys discreetly, but not so much, looked down to their own crotches.

"Me too." Ashley agreed, before setting her sights on Spencer's cleavage and getting a hard slap on the bicep in return. "Baby that hurt."

"Good." Spencer smirked and then looked to Madison. "Uh, not to break this weird bubble we have going on but Sherry and Lana are on their way over, and they don't look happy."

Ashley finally took her gaze from Spencer's chest in time to see two cheerleaders standing by their table. The yellow and green uniforms were perfectly ironed, cleaned and pressed. She had to fight not to look back at her girlfriend's chest again.

"Madison, have you lost your mind? What are you doing sitting over here? Our table is on the other side of the quad." Sherry's voice caused Ashley to wince; she never much liked the girl. To her side Lana, the new suck up, stood with her arms crossed.

"I'm sitting with my friends." Madison returned, remaining confident as usual.

"We're your friends. These are just…freaks." Sherry continued, waving her hands around and almost hitting Glen on the back of his head.

"Did you hear that, Aiden? We're freaks." Ashley pouted, pretending to be hurt but in reality more bothered that Glen had her cola.

"Oh, my feelings are in tatters. I think I'll cry myself to sleep tonight because _Sherry _called me a freak. You know, the co-captain?" Aiden replied with no emotion to his voice. Without asking he passed Ashley her drink and she grabbed it possessively.

"Whatever Dennison, just because you got knocked off of first spot by Glen here," she stroked the blonde boys head, "doesn't mean we all harbour resentment."

"Hey, get off of me. It took me all morning to do my hair." Glen pulled away from the girls touch and frowned, his eyebrows creasing as his sister laughed at him.

"Sherry, go back to the table and tell them I won't be sitting with you." Madison stood up and looked at the slightly taller girl.

"As captain you should always sit with us." The girl replied, quickly getting irritated at not sitting with her peers.

"As of today you can be captain."

"What?" Five choruses of the words floated up around the quad and a few people stopped to take notice. The majority had little interest in what the cheerleaders had to argue about this time.

"I quit the team; I thought I needed you all but I don't. In fact, if I have to walk around you sexually infested girls another day I'm likely to gag." Ashley laughed at Madison's words, focusing her attention at doodling on Spencer's arm; but keeping a wary eye on Madison in case she was needed.

"You'll regret this Duarte." Sherry threatened lowly.

"Meh, tell me when I care; okay?" Madison sat back down and bit into her apple, part of her healthy eating regime she had adopted since the age of fifteen.

"You'll have to return the outfit and your pom poms." The girl continued, as if returning said items would ruin the girls day.

"They'll be in the locker room at the end of the day, _chica. _Now can you go? You're upsetting Aiden with your perfume." At his name the handsome boy looked up, but when he saw he wasn't needed he focused back on his conversation with Glen.

In a huff, Sherry and Lana both turned on their heels and walked away; ignoring the cat calls and various whispers around the quad.

"Sweet, you pissed off Sherry Pena. How does it feel?" Glen asked, shifting a little closer to the girl.

"I don't know, really."

"How about you tell me over dinner?" She blushed as he smiled at her. Spencer watched her brother become coy and remembered to store it for future references. "You're not the bitch I thought you were, Madison. I'm sorry for everything I said."

"No, you were right. I was selfish and out for myself, I'll change though."

"Not too much." Ashley argued, busy drawing on Spencer's arm with her pen. She finished the love heart and started on writing their names to surround it. "I'd have nobody to argue with. Aiden always lets me win and Spencer ignores me."

"Well, pissing you off is my best quality." Madison agreed grinning when she saw what Ashley was busy focusing on. "Oh, aren't you cute? Writing love notes on your girlfriends arm."

"Fuck off."

"It's adorable. What next? Teddy bears?"

Spencer thought back to the Wall-E teddy and another small one she had received and held back a giggle.

"Quit it, whore."

"There will be matching tattoos and rings next, boys. Just you wait and see." Madison continued, smiling like she was having more fun than ever before.

"I'm going to shove this pen when the sun doesn't shine soon, Duarte. Just you wait and see." Ashley growled, using a napkin to try and rid Spencer's arm of the doodle.

"Don't Ash, I like it." Spencer whined, which of course stopped all movements from the brunette. "You draw really well."

"And she's whipped, I love it." Madison cackled.

"I'm not whipped. I hate you, you know?" The brunette shot out, folding her arms and hiding a smile when Spencer leant into her.

"You're whipped." Aiden agreed. "If Spencer said jump, you'd ask how high."

"No I wouldn't." Ashley pouted. "I'd just jump instead of wasting time."

--

"What are we doing tonight, loser?" Ashley asked her cousin, who was busy looking through Ashley's ridiculously sized wardrobe.

"I'm not bothered, aren't you not going somewhere with Spence?" The younger cousin replied, holding a red top up to her chest and returning it when Ashley shook her head.

"Yeah, but she's coming over later. She has an essay due in for Mr. Halstead tomorrow and she hasn't even started it."

"You're a bad influence. I'll have to keep an eye on you when I come to King High next year." The girl flopped on the bed and Ashley made a noise as if to show she had heard. Kyla waited, picking her cuticles, as the news sunk into her cousin's mind.

"What? King High…"

It sunk in rather quickly for Ashley.

"Mom wants to stay in LA, says she needs to get away from Baltimore and considering you're here; she wants to move here." She explained, watching as Ashley wriggled excitedly.

"Oh, my God, that's awesome." Ashley grabbed onto her cousin and hugged her. To lose Taylor meant to gain Kyla, it was a little weird the way the world worked.

"I know. I'll start in your year, because you suck and have been held back, and I'll be living about ten minutes away. I'm not sure, dad is helping mom choose a house." Ashley looked at Kyla strangely and the girl nodded.

"Your dad is helping your mom?"

"Weird I know, but I suppose it's a good thing in the long run."

"Mmm, Kyla?"

"Yeah?"

"What about you and Aiden? I mean, he's going college and you'll be here." The brunette looked at her cousin as the girl shrugged.

"We'll see how it goes, I guess. We agreed long distance might not work but, ya know, whatever happens will just happen."

Ashley just nodded, unable to comprehend about Spencer going to college and her having to stay behind in the city they met. She couldn't cope, she knew she couldn't; it would kill her having to be away from the blonde. Handling being away from her during classes didn't bode well for the Davies girl, so being on opposite ends of the country and in different time zones would drive the girl mad. Hearing Spencer's voice before bed helped her sleep, seeing Spencer's smile made her days and feeling Spencer's body beside her made her feel safe.

And wow, Madison was right about being whipped.

"So, what are we doing tonight?" Kyla repeated, pulling Ashley from her reverie. Chocolate eyes blinked and she shook her head.

"You decide, if we go out I'll pick Spencer up and Aiden can meet us there."

"Uh, can, can we just have a girls' night in? I know I said Aiden and I have talked but I'm not sure I can hang out with him yet." To the question Ashley simply nodded and pointed to the stack of DVD's in the corner of the room.

"Pick some scary films, but please God don't make popcorn."

"Why not?"

"Spencer doesn't handle it very well," Ashley explained, "she tends to revert to three years old."

"I'm making popcorn."

--

Kyla, long since asleep, was laid across the floor with two pillows beneath her and a blanket thrown over her legs. On the couch, Spencer and Ashley were focused on the movie, _Saw 3, _and Spencer was digging her nails into Ashley's arm; hard.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh God." Spencer looked away, oblivious to Ashley's perverted smile and raised eyebrows. "Oh, bitch, tip the acid; _tip the acid!_" The smile left her face quickly.

"She knows what she's doing, Spence. She's rehearsed this scene several times."

"Shut up, oh see; you're gonna die now. You are!" How Kyla wasn't waking up to the shrieks of Spencer, Ashley would never know.

"Baby, she'll be…" Ashley was cut off as the contraption the poor woman was attached to ripped her ribs from her body. "…Fine."

"Oh yeah, she looks perfectly fine now." Spencer chuckled playfully, but the pained octave it hit was truthful to the fear she had of this genre of film.

"She is, at least the acid isn't burning her."

"Whatever," leaning across the blonde turned off the television, "would you do something if I was in that position?"

"Tied up? Yeah, I'd do something about it." She shrugged, grinning at Spencer's amused smirk and playful glint in her eyes.

"Get a room. Preferably not this one." Kyla muttered from her position on the floor, at the same time she rolled over and curled up only just to fall asleep again. Ashley frowned at her cousin, but her attention was quickly distracted at the soft hand in hers.

"I think we should do what she said." Spencer whispered, standing up and nodding upstairs.

"With my cousin just downstairs?"

"I'm game if you're quiet." The blonde laughed, briskly walking out of the room and headed towards the stairs.

"I can't promise anything with you." Ashley replied, following dutifully like she knew she would for the rest of her life.


	38. Lips Like Morphine

**This is short, but I have valid reasons 1) this is a filler chapter and 2) I'll explain below.**

**As an authors note I just want to say this; two days ago, my dad's best friend hung himself. There was no warning signs, no clues as to why he wanted to do it - he just did it. In addition to that, in a few months it will be 6 years to the day that **_**my **_**best friend killed herself. **

**I know this sounds depressing and shit, but I need you guys to know that there is always someone there you can talk to if you ever need it. Suicide isn't some answer; it leaves behind so many questions for the people who love you. Yeah, times get hard and I can't imagine how difficult it is for some of you to deal with your sexuality and having to tell your parents and maybe having people turn their back - but life gets better, right? If they can't see past one part of you then they're not worth it.**

**There's always light at the end of the tunnel.**

**Anyway, even if you send a ranting letter to me, or Anna, just to get something off of your chest - you can. If you're feeling down, tell your friends; that's what they are there for. I mean, yesterday I went to my a very close friends house and he helped me so much - I was ranting on, about insignificant things, but it helped a lot. I'm not saying we'll solve problems, hell we might not answer and we'd rather you'd turn to those you trust - but if I can help, I want to.**

**I know 99.9 of you are hardly suicidal but I kinda wanted to throw my opinion out there that, ya know, it shouldn't be an option for young people, or old people, there's always something better ahead in life.**

**...I'll stop now : ) **

**--**

_"Please Spencer? You can't leave a girl hanging like that. It's against the law."_

"And whose law would that be?" The blonde asked amused. She had been talking on the phone to Ashley for an hour and the girl had finally gotten Spencer to utter what she was wearing, her panties and a smile, only to then be thwarted when Spencer told her she had to go.

_"Mine and every other lesbian who has images of you topless."_

"You make for a good argument, Ashley, but I really have to go." Walking to her closet, she picked out the dress she wanted to wear and took it over to her bed. She waited a few moments before she heard a frustrated sigh.

_"I know when should I be at yours?"_

Spencer glanced at the clock and noted she had just under an hour to get ready, keep Ashley's wandering hands at bay and go out with her family, and girlfriend, to meet her mom in a local restaurant. Paula, at first, had vehemently hated the idea that Ashley would be joining _her _family out for a meal. Not only that, but the brunette would be attending with her _daughter _and flaunting their so called relationship at their table.

It wasn't until Spencer had announced she had no intentions of meeting up with her mother unless, of course, Ashley was allowed to join them. It was, in fact, Ashley who had talked Spencer around to going to the meal alone - yet, two minutes later, Arthur told his daughter Paula had agreed, reluctantly, for Ashley to come.

"Real soon, we leave at seven."

_"Okay, I'll be there. Just - don't get dressed, okay?"_

"Ashley..."

_"Fine, fine, but let me tell you. This whole meal will be filled of images of you, understand? I'll look at my dinner but actually be thinking of you walking around with your -"_

"Ashley! Get off of the phone and come to mine as soon as possible." Even though her words were direct her laughter diluted any authority Spencer was trying to show. She rolled her blue eyes as she heard the brunette laughing to herself and picked out her make-up.

_"Be there soon. Love you."_

"Love you too, Ash." She clicked her phone shut quickly, knowing if she stayed on Ashley would try and continue further conversation and her time would be limited even further for getting ready for the night.

Lifting up the black dress, she examined it for any flaws her mother would find.

It had a few.

--

Clambering out of Arthur's family car, Spencer was practically drowning in Ashley's nervous perspiration. Not only had the girl almost broken her hand on the drive over, she had tried to hop out of the car when they hit a red light and then argued that meeting Paula should be something the Carlin's did alone. With Ashley at home, safe and warm and out of harm's way. Spencer pouted and had told Ashley she needed her girlfriends support, more than her siblings and she just wanted to prove to Paula how solid they were.

Ashley stayed in the car.

"Glen didn't bring Madison and I don't see Chelsea anywhere." Ashley muttered, climbing out of the large car and straightening out her own dress. She had worried that it was too short, but Spencer had assured her that nobody minded. Ashley's mind had been put at rest when she walked past Glen and he didn't ogle her legs like he usually did when she wore a skirt, or make a joke about Spencer getting the hotter girls.

"Madison is out of town with her mom and Chelsea is finishing up her project for her art show." Spencer explained, grabbing hold of Ashley's clammy hand.

"More like they didn't want to endure the wrath of Paula." The brunette sulked, as a group they walked to the doors and Ashley's stomach dropped when she saw Spencer's mom in the doorway of the restaurant. "She looks like she wants to have me killed, gutted and served on her plate. Nevermind the freaking lobsters."

"Relax, Ash, my mom isn't going to kill you." Clay assured the nervous teenager.

"Worst she'll do is slap you." Glen piped in, his anger still evident from the day his mother had struck him. Though he had let it go, the thought his own mother had hit him still lingered in the back of his mind and it wasn't shifting.

"Right," Ashley laughed nervously and watched as Clay hugged his mother, "if I don't walk out of here tonight, baby. I love you."

--

Paula watched as Spencer and Ashley interacted with one another happily. It had seemed Ashley had known the exact drink Spencer had wanted, because when her daughter had left for the restroom; Ashley ordered their two drinks without hesitation while the rest of the table wondered what she would want. Paula had been slightly impressed, yet she couldn't hide her disapproval when Spencer had thanked Ashley with a, very brief, very chaste kiss on her lips.

"So Clay, how is Chelsea's art show coming along?" Paula inquired; she always had a soft spot for Chelsea and Clay. They were suited to one another.

"It's great, only two weeks until the showing. She invited us all to it. Which reminds me, Ashley she finished the thing you asked for." He winked at the brunette, who blushed under the stare of the other Carlin's.

"What thing?" Spencer asked, obviously out of the loop between her girlfriend and her brother.

"Uh, for a CD I've been working on..." Ashley murmured. Of course, the girl had been keeping the whole thing under wraps in case Spencer asked to hear her sing, or something.

"You're into music I assume?" Paula tried a smile, but it came out forced and she dismissed she had even tried to begin with.

"Yeah, I was just doing a few covers and I put them onto CD in my spare time. Chelsea said she'd play it at the art show as long as she could design the art work for it." The brown eyed girl tried to avoid looking at her girlfriend too much. She knew Spencer would have wanted to know about this, but she wanted it to be something she did herself and she would let Spencer hear when it was perfect enough.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Spencer nudged Ashley and the tanned girl looked at her.

"I wanted it to, you know, sound perfect for you and I thought, maybe, if you knew it'd put pressure on me and it wouldn't be as good."

"Pressure?"

"Spencer, I didn't mean it as it sounded. I meant, well...some of the songs remind...me...of you." The girl grew quieter and quieter with every word as she watched Spencer's smile grow. Beside her she could hear Glen laughing at how lame she was sounding but it didn't really matter, she hardly cared.

"You're sweet." The blonde claimed, giving her girlfriend a way out of the conversation and punctuating her thoughts with a kiss to the back of a tanned hand.

"Shut up and order some food." She replied, her face still burning. Over her menu she could see Paula giving her a curious look that gave her a funny feeling in her chest; the woman's face was unreadable and as stony as usual. She didn't know what was going on in the mind of her girlfriend's mother and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.

"I want pasta." With that exclamation from Glen, the silent tension between Paula and Ashley was broken and Ashley forced herself to relax a little.

--

"The team I've been assigned to coach over the summer are like, thirteen." Glen spoke around a mouthful of cheesecake but his mom had asked what he was planning on doing after school during a rather large forkful of the desert. "We'll see how it goes; I just hope they aren't as dramatic as Spencer were at that age."

"I wasn't dramatic, you ass." Spencer argued, then apologised quickly when her father gave her a look for swearing.

"Glen, I hate you. Why don't you just move out and leave me alone?! I hate brothers!" Glen mimicked in a high pitched voice that had Ashley laughing. "You were a nightmare."

"Only because you insisted on blasting out Boyz 2 Men all the time." Spencer turned to Ashley, who was laughing harder at Glen's music taste. "We had to share a room for ages." She shuddered at the memory of being twelve and walking into her room to find her brother dancing in just a towel.

"Because Clay moved in and he refused to share a room." Glen pointed out.

"Hey, I did not. I would have been happy to share a room but dad said it might be easier for me to have my own space."

"For four years!" Spencer and Glen chimed, obviously not over the fact they shared a room until Spencer was fourteen. Then they moved across town, where Spencer met her first girlfriend and they promptly left there a year later.

"It wasn't my fault. Anyway, the second house was bigger and better so you can blame me for having to move." Clay smiled, finishing off his drink and laughing when his siblings agreed. He knew they meant no harm and loved him.

"If Glen messes up here then we can all be blamed for having to move house." Spencer smiled; her comment had a biting undertone which clearly didn't go unnoticed by anyone at the table. It was obvious she still resented being blamed for moving across the country, but looking at it now, with herself and her brothers in healthy relationships, she wouldn't change it.

"Spencer, we don't blame you for moving house." Paula spoke softly but she saw the look in her daughter's eyes.

"I don't mind. If we hadn't of moved to LA, I wouldn't have met Ashley would I?" She smiled at her girlfriend, who smiled back and then stole a strawberry from her plate. "I can't say I regret that at all."

"So, this was nice. Us all together." Arthur cut in before an argument developed. Even though it was quite civil now, Paula and Spencer had a tendency to fight mostly over moving from Ohio to LA and the blame being placed on one of them.

"We should do it again." His estranged wife agreed. "This weekend?" When none of her children replied straight away she hid the hurt.

"How about next week? Come by the house and we'll have a barbeque." The dark haired man suggested, hoping the kids would make it easy on their mom. But he knew Paula had upset them one too many times for quick forgiveness.

"Can Madison come?" Glen asked smiling at the scoff Ashley made.

"Invite who you like. What do you say Paula?"

The blonde simply nodded and tried to grasp when was the exact point she had lost her connection with her children.

--

The moon was high when Ashley collapsed on top of Spencer in the privacy of the blonde's bedroom. Their breathing was ragged and their cooling bodies were pressed tightly together as they tried to control the pounding of their synchronised hearts.

"God, Spencer..."

"I just wanted to say thank you, for coming tonight." There was brief pause before Spencer corrected her sentence. "Coming to dinner."

"Consider me thanked." Ashley chuckled, rolling off of Spencer and smiling when the taller girl pulled her close. Her head rested on a damp chest and she heard Spencer sigh quietly, placing a gently kiss on the blondes collarbone she lifted her head. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just can't believe how...different it felt with mom, tonight." Kissing the top of Ashley's head, Spencer smiled against brunette curls. "I was glad you were there."

"I'll always be there, Spencer." She pulled the thin cover over them and wrapped herself up in the blonde once more. "Always."

--

**So, there ya go. The new story is coming along and I'm **_**soo **_**making a video for it, lol. I'll link it when it's done. I have way too much time now college is over...**


	39. I'm Not Gonna Cry

**I figured the cuteski couple stuff can only last so long...**

Staring at the lake, Ashley felt someone sit down beside her but she didn't look up. She already knew who it was. She watched an old woman feeding ducks, with a boy she assumed to be her grandson, and smiled at the family image. The young boy was squealing in delight as the cute ducks swam up to him, on the rare occasion they got too close he would run behind his grandma and she would shoo them away with a stern expression. It was barely hitting nine o'clock and she briefly wondered if they were tourists, no LA native would be awake at this time to feed ducks.

"You know, it's alright to miss him." Aiden's deep voice cut through the air, he shifted so he could see his best friend and he caught the small smile playing on her lips. He leant back on the bench and stretched his tall frame out before taking his black jacket off and placing it beside him.

"I know," Ashley swallowed thickly and tore her gaze from the cute family picture, "I just don't want to."

"He was your dad, Ash. He died, it's natural to miss him on his birthdays."

Aiden had woken up at six o'clock that morning with a headache that felt like it was going to crack his skull. He had wandered downstairs, grinning at his dad half-asleep on the couch, and taken a couple of asprin to rid himself of the pain. His eyes had flicked to the calender, hoping it wasn't someones birthday (he didn't have enough money) and saw the date. He had sighed deeply and his mind wandered to Ashley, today was her deceased father's birthday and she never took it too well. He briefly wondered if Spencer knew anything about it and decided upon she didn't, Ashley didn't tend to share information like that.

"Spencer has been calling me all morning." The brunette girl lamented, as if on cue her phone notified her she had a message but she ignored it.

"She might be worried."

"Not surprised, I stayed over there last night and I left at like, seven this morning." She chuckled wryly and looked at her friend. "She's going to kill me, isn't she?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "but I'll stick up for you."

"I know I shouldn't have left but I woke up and everything in my head, it was just intense. I didn't want to fight with her, you know?" She kicked at a stone and watched as it bounced along the path, coming to a stop near a patch of grass that was in a desperate need of cutting.

"Maybe you should tell her. She'll want to help."

"No, for this I kind of need my best friend."

"But, she's your girlfriend Ash." Aiden pointed out needlessly, he gave her his cheeky smile when she laughed a little at the obvious comment. "Look, she'll know something is wrong and she'll be worried it's her fault. Go to her. If you don't want to say what's going on, that's fine, but don't make her panic."

"I'll miss you when you leave." She leant her head on his shoulder and smiled when he wrapped his arm around her.

"I'll miss you too."

"No you won't. You'll be too busy screwing girls left, right and centre to even remember me." Pouting at the thought, Ashley frowned and narrowed her eyes.

"Don't be stupid, Ash. I kinda like you."

"I should go back to Spencer." She moved slightly and kissed his cheek, before standing up and smoothing out her clothes. "For the record, I sorta like you too."

"Don't push her away." He noted as he, too, stood up and put his jacket on.

"I won't." Ashley looked at his and saw his attire, he was wearing his running clothes and she shuddered at the thought of exercise. "Do you need a lift home?"

"No, I ran here so I'll run back."

"You're a freak, Dennison." Ashley told him as she began walking away, smiling at the thought he had known exactly where she would be and taking time to come and make sure she was okay. Not that it was a big surprise, this bench at this lake was where she always came at this time of year.

She turned to him and saw him smiling adorably at her, she smiled back and her nose crinkled which made him laugh.

She didn't want to imagine him leaving. Not yet.

-

Ashley sat in the car outside Spencer's house and took a few moments to collect herself. She knew it was wrong for her to have just left like that, but she had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Spencer would have still been asleep by the time she had gotten back. Arthur had seen her go and although he had given her a curious expression, he didn't say anything and simply went back to fixing some electrical thing.

Her phone buzzed and she checked it, her eyes widened at the familiar name in her phone and she opened it.

_1 Message: Madison._

_If you need to talk today you know where I am._

She quickly text back a thanks and laughed a little at the turn around in Madison Duarte. It was strange, even when they hated one another Madison would try and avoid Ashley on this particular day. Ashley had played it off but deep down she knew Madison still cared a little, she wasn't cold hearted enough to use someones dead father against them. Looking up to Spencers window, her heart stopped when she saw her blonde girlfriend looking at her. She waved a little, cringing at how pathetic she looked, and was hardly surprised when Spencer shook her head and walked out of view.

"God Ashley, do you have to fuck _everything _in your life up?" She muttered to herself.

Knowing she could hardly make this any better by driving away she hopped out of the car and walked to the front door. Before she even had a chance to knock, the white door was pulled open so fast Ashley had to check it was still on the hinges. In front of her was a pissed off looking Glen, Madison was behind him looking sorry and she cringed. She knew Madison wouldn't have said anything about today, so none of the Carlins knew why she had upped and left. They just knew she had.

"She cried." Glen told her, referring to Spencer. "Dad told her he saw you leaving, she thinks she did something and I heard her cry in the bathroom when I walked past."

"I'm sor -"

"Go and make it right." He growled, stepping aside and waiting for the nervous brunette to walk into the house. When she did, he closed the door and went to the bottom of the stairs. "The only reason I'm letting you near her is because Madison said you had good reason."

"I do."

"Don't tell me," He shook his head and pointed upstairs, "tell my sister."

Throwing a grateful look to Madison, to which she recieved a encouraging smile, she made her way up the stairs. Standing outside Spencers room, looking at the cute stickers on the door, she cringed as rock music poured out from the bedroom. Spencer only listened to that when she was pissed, or upset. Opening the door she caught Spencer sitting at her computer, she was uploading pictures onto her _MySpace _and pretty much ignoring the brunettes existence.

"I'm sorry." She figured starting with that might help. Silence filled the room as Spencer turned her music off, she was now in the process of tagging pictures now and she was on one of her and Ashley. It didn't escape the brunette's notice that it was Spencer's favourite picture of them, she had probably spent the morning scanning pictures and the guilt settled in her stomach.

"I put your clothes in your bag for you." Okay, not what Ashley wanted to hear but at least she was being spoken to.

"Thanks."

Finished with her pictures, Spencer got up from the chair and walked past Ashley. She watched as the blonde walked to her dressing table and started to brush her hair, Ashley didn't want to admit that Spencer walking past her like that hurt - but she deserved the cold shoulder.

"I should have left a note."

"You shouldn't have left." Ashley closed her eyes at the cold tone Spencer's voice held. Slowly, she made her way over to her girlfriend and knelt next to her.

"I needed some time alone, Spence."

"Away from me?"

"No...yes, but not like you think." The brunette bit her lip and tried to get Spencer to look at her. She didn't even try and hide the dissapointed sigh when Spencer moved a fraction away from her.

"What else am I meant to think? Last night I fall asleep in the arms of my girlfriend and the next morning I wake up to a cold bed and no note." The younger girl shook her head and took a deep breath, willing herself not to get upset in front of Ashley.

"I just - I'm sorry, okay? I just needed to get away."

"Why!?" Spencer stood up quickly and Ashley jumped at how loud the girl was shouting. "What was it that you needed to run from? Me? This room? Us?"

"No, God Spencer don't think that." Ashley quickly stood up and planted herself in front of Spencer. "It wasn't you."

"What am I supposed to think, Ash? You just left. Did I do something?"

"No."

"Then what? Please, you know you can tell me." She reached out and put her hands on tanned arms, noting how cold the girl was despite the warm day. "What's wrong?"

"It's...Spencer, I don't want to talk about it."

"You can tell me anything." Spencer was pleading now and she knew she was being slightly unreasonable. If Ashley didn't want to talk, she didn't have to. But she hated secrets, she was sick of them and especially secrets in a relationship. She had watched her parents marriage break down because of them and she had to hide Ashley for the longest time, she just wanted the truth.

"I know, baby. But this, this is something personal to me."

"Madison knows." The blonde let go of Ashleys arm and scowled at the name. Jealousy was starting to rear it's ugly head. When she had found out about Ashley and Madison's past, it had hurt but she kept it down. Ashley loved her and she loved Ashley, she trusted Ashley. But to know that Madison, of all people, knew about something that had caused her girlfriend to walk out early in the morning annoyed her.

"What are you talking about, Spence?"

"I asked her if she knew where you were. She told me you were going through something personal, she said she couldn't tell me because it wasn't her place and that I should ask you." Ashley's heart almost broke when she saw the conflict in blue eyes. "Madison knows, _Madison, _and you can't even tell me."

"She only knows because it's from my past." Ashley tried to reason, knowing it was futile. Why she couldn't tell Spencer, she didn't know. This was her issue, her problem that she had to get through on her own; she was the strong one in the relationship. Spencer was going through so much, she didn't need Ashley's past issues and problems right now.

"So because I wasn't there ten years ago I can't know? How is that fair?"

"Spencer it's not like that."

"Then tell me what it's like, Ashley! Because, God help me, I'm trying so hard here." She ran a hand through her hair and looked at Ashley pleadingly. "Why can't you tell me?"

"Because, baby, you're going through so much right now. With your mom, your parents divorce and you don't need my problems. I'm fine, we're fine, it's not a big deal. I'm sorry for leaving this morning, belive me I am - but I needed some space to think. Not about us, I wasn't doubting us or you." She stepped forwards and took Spencer's hands in her own. "I needed Ashley time."

"It's not your place to say whether or not I can't help. Yeah, I'm going through some stuff but you've been there for me. Let me be there for you."

"You are here for me. Just standing there, being concerned and loving and perfect is everything I need." She mentally crossed her fingers and hoped Spencer would see it from her point of view.

"But I'm not concerened, loving nor perfect enough for you to tell me. Right?" Spencer let go of her hands and Ashley felt her chest tighten painfully.

"Spence..."

"I need some time to think, Ash. Some 'Spencer' time." She walked to the bed and sat down, ignoring Ashley's confused look and the hurt in her dark eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I think, maybe, you should go home." Her voice cracked but the stare she was holding with Ashley didn't waver.

"Because I won't tell you? Spencer, I don't have to tell you everything." She was scared, she couldn't hide the fear from her voice that Spencer was leaving her. She knew it was stupid, she was being reasonable and making sure they didn't fight - still, it didn't hurt any less.

"I just, I need to think and we need some space..."

"Space? God, no Spencer we don't need space. I'll tell you stuff, it just hurts to go back there and I promise I won't leave you in the morning again."

"You shouldn't tell me because you're scared, Ash. You should tell me because you know I'd never think differently or judge you." Slowly, she stood up and walked over to the frightened brunette and placed a comforting hand on her cheek. "I'll call you tonight, but today maybe we should just...I don't know, just take some time apart."

"I'll tell you everything."

"But not today. Today I need to think abo -"

"Don't think about us, Spencer. You doing that scares me." She was open and vunereable and she didn't like it, but she couldn't stop herself.

"I'll call you tonight, Ashley."

-

Spencer turned the television off and looked at the clock, noting it was just past twelve. Her brothers were out with their girlfriends and her dad had gone to bed early, leaving Spencer to watch TV and mope about how Ashley didn't feel she could talk to her. She had heard stories about Ashley pulling away from the person she was with when she was scared and that was frightening Spencer more than anything. Something was upsetting Ashley that she didn't want to talk about and in Spencer's eyes, that meant she was pulling away and refusing to talk about it.

And Madison knew.

She wasn't a jealous person, she found nothing positive in being jealous and usually it only fueled arguements and tears. But, after today, she found herself thinking over and over about Ashley and Madison and locker rooms and kissing and it made her feel sick. She had guessed it, hell she even thought her and Madison were screwing each other when she first met the brunette - but now she was with her, she didn't want those thoughts in her mind.

Madison had heard those little wimpers, she had drank in the same moans and had felt that soft skin beneath clothes. Ashley had been the first girl to touch her like that and that only fueled the envy inside of her further. Sure, she had a girlfriend before she came to LA - but Spencer counted Ashley as her first real girlfriend.

And Madison knew things about Ashley that Spencer could only dream to know, and that hurt.

Why did Ashley feel comfortable enough to tell Madison and yet she couldn't tell her? What did Madison do to make her so trustworthy to the brunette?

Knocking on the door stopped Spencer's tirade of thoughts and she frowned, but walked to the front door regardless. She figured it was Glen, again, forgetting his key and forcing Spencer to let him in. She briefly considered not answering, but the knocking became persistant and it was kind of annoying. As she opened the door, she was jumped on by a shivering brunette who launched herself at the taller girl and closed the distance between their lips.

It was needy and passionate and rough, but Spencer met every move and every whimper with her very own. It was deep and Spencer held onto the taste of Ashley like it was the last thing she'd ever do, like it would be the last time she felt her. When they pulled away, Spencer was pinned between the wall and a panting Ashley.

"I'm..." Ashley started, her eyes were dark and her lips were bruised but Spencer was glad to see her in any form. "I'm ready to talk to you now, Spencer."


	40. Hard Faced Notions

"Talk

**Sorry how shitty and short this is, people. A lot has been happening recently here, plus I have no computer at all. Well I **_**have **_**a computer it just has 878 viruses, or something stupid like that. Anyway, I wanted to make this long for you but it wasn't happening. Hopefully the next one wont take as long to upload, but I make no promises. **

**Sorry again for the wait.**

Ashley was shaking as she sat on Spencer's bed. She wasn't sure if she was cold, if it was from the kiss downstairs, from nerves or from still being upset. All she knew is that she was shaking and Spencer was searching for some more comfortable clothes for her. She watched the blonde flit around the bedroom and grab clothes in which Ashley could keep warm in, but stay comfortable enough to sleep if needed.

"His name was James," Ashley murmured causing Spencer to stop briefly before she resumed her activities. Spencer knew Ashley well enough not to interrupt and just let the girl talk. "His stage name was Raife, he thought it sounded more rugged. I mean, his chauffeur was called James and he didn't want that. He was a rock star, you know?"

"Yeah." Slowly, Spencer took a vest top and a pair of old sleeping boxers to the shivering brunette. She placed them gently next to the girl and gasped when a thin hand pulled her down onto the bed next to Ashley.

"He wasn't around much but when he was it was great. He used to take me for ice-cream and to the arcade every week. He'd come back for a month and then be gone for the next eleven, so that one month I used to cherish."

Ashley blinked and pursed her lips. She hated that she only had fleeting memories of her dad, the most vivid was hearing about his death. She hated that.

"You hear all these stories about rockers dying from drug abuse and things, right? My dad took drugs, yeah, but he died from a heart attack. He was alone in some fucking hotel room when it happened." She narrowed her eyes. "But whatever, you know? It happened ages ago, years ago."

"Baby, you're allowed to be upset. No matter how long ago it happened." She slid her arm around Ashley's waist and pulled the girls form closer to hers.

"Madison and Aiden were the first people I told, that's why she knew." The brunette continued, pushing her face into Spencer's neck. "Nothing else, Spence. I don't want you to be mad about that."

"I'm not." Spencer whispered.

"But you were, I didn't want you to be." A tanned hand grabbed a hold of Spencer's top, bunching it up and gripping it in a tight fist. "Me and Madison have a past, yeah. Nothing compared to me and you, nothing."

"You're allowed to have a past, Ash." Chuckling wryly, Spencer pried Ashley's grip away from her top and replaced the material with her own fingers.

"I know, but I want you to know about it too." She placed a kiss to the soft skin on Spencer's neck where her lips lay. "I'm sorry for running away this morning. My head was just fucked thinking about my dad, it's the anniversary of his death."

"I don't want to push you baby, not like I did this morning, but you need to tell me things. If you need space tell me, okay? I'll give it to you, I'll give you anything."

She felt herself falling backwards and within a few seconds, Ashley was moulded against the side of her body as they lay on the bed. The brunette situated a cool, jean clad leg between Spencer's warm ones and cupped exposed hips with her hands.

"I love you. I mean, I've hardly told you anything and here you are being understanding." Her nose crinkled adorably as she smiled at her blonde. "How are you so perfect?"

"I'm not perfect. I just love you and it's my way of showing you, Ashley." She giggled when Ashley frowned a little before throwing her leg over Spencer's body and sat up, effectively straddling her.

"I'm sure we can find other ways to show each other." Ashley raised an eyebrow and grinned at the amused blonde.

"Promise me though, Ash. Promise you won't run, no matter how hard things get, or how upset you are, you gotta stick with me."

"Like glue." She nodded once solemnly, causing the blonde to crack up laughing again. Leaning down, Ashley licked her lips and stopped millimetres away from Spencer's mouth. "I promise I won't run."

"Good," Spencer whispered, her lips brushing the brunettes. "I did what I said, by the way. I thought about us."

"What did you conclude?" She asked, kissing the tip of Spencer's nose gently.

"I want this, I want us forever."

"Sure?

"Yeah."

"Wanna seal that promise with a kiss?"

"I think we can do better than that." Spencer husked, her hand finding the back of Ashley's neck so she could pull the brunettes lips to her own.

--

"You cannot be serious, Paula." Arthur watched from his desk as his wife nodded from the chair across from him. "Why would you do that?"

"Because Ohio is where I grew up, it's where all my friends and my family are. The workload isn't as hectic and the job offers me a chance to work to my own hours, it's perfect."

They stared across at one another, each trying to work the other out and trying to find a way to get their point understood. Arthur shook his head, his mind flitting between wondering where the hell the woman he married went and how he was going to break the news to the children.

"Things might be hard with the kids right now, but moving back to Ohio won't fix anything." He reasoned, linking his fingers together and leaning on his forearms across his desk.

"It's not as if I want to go alone, I want to go as a family; with all of us." Paula argued back, "Admit it, things were less intense back home. The amount of work we have here in LA is way too much and it's not as if the children will be strangers, they have friends back there."

"Paula, listen to yourself. Do you honestly believe Clay, Glen and Spence will happily come with you back to Ohio?" He frowned at naïve his wife was sounding. "They have a life here now."

"They'll listen to their mother."

"What about their father? Paula, you might want to go but I don't want to." He stood up and walked to where his estranged wife was sat, he knelt down next to the chair as he would a troubled teenager and put a hand on her arm.

"It was easier in Ohio, we had a better life."

"We have a good life here, all of us." He stood up again, knowing this argument was futile with how stubborn Paula was.

"I don't, Arthur, and I know you're not happy."

"Because my wife wants to leave everything behind! I'm not going to be overjoyed am I?" He ran his fingers through his dark hair. He closed his tired eyes and wondered when everything was thrown on it's ass.

"The children will understand."

"They won't. What about school, Paula? Glen has his future that he's working hard too, Clay is ready for college, he's not going to uproot right before he's ready to start new." He sat at the edge of his desk, his dark eyes boring into the blonde. "Spencer won't leave Ashley, she's doing great at school so why should she be pulled out now?"

"Spencer will do as I say, I'm her mother."

"You're not acting like a mother right now." He frowned and shook his head. "No, this is ridiculous. I won't let you do this to them."

Paula stood up, sighing heavily, and turned towards the door. She stopped as she cracked it open and looked over her shoulder to her confused husband.

"I don't want this to be the end of us, Arthur. I love you, I love my family and I want this to work. But I'm going to Ohio, with or without you." Quietly she slipped out of the door and clicked it shut behind her.

The dark haired man sighed sadly, he didn't want to lose twenty years of love over night like that but then he wanted to do the right thing for his children. Then again, it wasn't like his pay packet was bringing in enough for himself and three kids; it would be very tight. If they went back to Ohio things would be cheaper, easier to handle.

He blinked once before closing his eyes.

His decision had been made as soon as Paula had offered up the chance to save their marriage, and family, by moving back across the country.

He just hoped his children would understand.

--

"That right there? That's gross." Glen's voice broke Spencer and Ashley apart loudly, before the former glared at her brother. Her hands didn't move from their spot on Ashley's hips as the brunette stared intently at the little toaster, waiting for her beloved pop-tart to make an appearance. "Put some clothes on."

"We have clothes on." Spencer frowned, Ashley was in the clothes she had picked out earlier and Spencer had thrown on her robe. They were covered.

"I can see your girlfriends thighs." He countered, his eyes lighting up in amusement as Ashley practically launched herself at her little treat. The brown eyed beauty popped a little bit of pastry into her mouth, moaning lightly at the taste.

"Then don't look at her thighs." Madison wandered into the kitchen where they three of them were, smiling at them. Ashley's brow furrowed but she bit her tongue, knowing it would take time before she could fully stomach Madison in the same room as her.

"I couldn't agree more." Spencer nodded, her fingers running through Ashley's messy hair. She blushed as she remembered why Ashley's hair was messy in the first place.

"As muf as I luf dis confus'shon I wanna go upstairs." Ashley muttered through her mouthful and began to walk out of the room, causing the three other occupants to look at her strangely. "What?"

"Is it bad I understood what you were trying to say then?" Spencer asked, rocking back on her heels and taking in the sight of a hardly dressed Ashley.

"No, cause I did too." Madison piped up, the blonde girl looked at her briefly before smiling. After all, Madison and Ashley had been best friends all those years ago; she was bound to understand Ashley like that.

"I didn't." Glen shrugged, already bored with that line of conversation. He looked up as Clay and his dad walked into the room. "Dad, tell Ash and Spencer to get dressed. This is a kitchen, not a sauna."

"Glen…" Clay tried, only to be cut off by his father.

"Your mom wants to move back to Ohio, guys." He was sick of sitting them down to break the news and he noticed how Ashley was starting to get uncomfortable being so casually dressed in front of Spencer's family. "She wants us to go."

"No way!"

"I'm not going back there."

Glen and Spencer were passionate in their responses, whilst Clay, ever the reasonable on, simply shook his head signalling his disappointment in his mother.

"I know, which is why I've come to a decision. Which you may or may not like." He chewed on his lip slightly, smiling internally at his kids understanding looks. At least he had passed something down to them. "I'm filing for divorce, first thing tomorrow. It's going to be hard for a while, but I'll be sole carer of you all."

"Cool."

Glen, ever the elegant one, smiled at the decision. Finally, he thought, his family was on the road to recovery.

"Why will it be hard, Mr. C? It's not as if these three are hard to control." Ashley pointed out, then snickered at the image in her mind of Spencer in leathers with piercings. Yeah, Spencer was hardly any trouble.

"Money will be tight for a while." He explained. "We'll have to make some cuts, but I hope you all understand. I need you all to tell me if you're not happy with this situation, with your mom moving away."

"It's her decision, dad." Spencer walked towards him and hugged his hard form. "It's weird you're over, but as long as I can stay here I'm happy."

She kissed her dad's cheek before grabbing Ashley's hand and leading her upstairs, she could still hear her dad and brothers talking but she really couldn't be bothered with that conversation. Two hours earlier, when her and Ashley were alone, everything felt perfect and content. She wanted that back, if only for a little while.

Plus, she kind of wanted to continue where they finished off.


	41. This Is How It Goes Down

_**Oh wow. Long time no see, huh? **_

_**I know it's been a while, or even more than, but I do have excuses. Actually, I have so many that you might even think that I'm faking them - but I'm not. **_

_**1, I totally have a job! A real 9-5 (or 6-2, 10-6, 11-7, 12-8, 1-9, 2-10, 4-1....) job! And as you can see by those brackets I have fucked up hours which makes writing a last priority. I do try, but I'm knackered when I get home so it's been kicking my ass. I have spent the weekend though, writing like a little monster and hopefully I've got enough to keep you going for another 5 months lol.**_

_**2, I still don't have a computer so, yeah. I'm actually writing this on a borrowed laptop... Hopefully I'll be buying a new one in the next few weeks.**_

_**3, I've been in hospital twice and had other personal problems, which are sorted now, but they took time.**_

_**Anyway, instead of boring you here's some more chapters. Hopefully you'll like them.**_

**Chapter 40: This Is How It Goes Down.**

Knives scraped loudly across white plates as food was eaten in total silence. It had been three days since Arthur had broken the news to his children that he couldn't be with their mother anymore, and it was the first time anyone had seen Paula. But here they were, all three children with their mother, eating at the estranged blonde woman's friends table as though nothing was strange about the situation.

Spencer chewed on a piece of lamb thoughtfully as she tried to avoid looking at her mother, something which was proving quite difficult as every time she would avoid eye-contact the woman would sigh loudly. Her blue eyes scanned the table and she didn't even try and hide her disappointment in Ashley not being there, she'd gotten used to the brunette sitting at their dinner table. Instead, with the insistence of both Clay and her father - and even more surprisingly, Ashley -, she had reluctantly agreed to dinner with her mom instead of hanging out with her girlfriend.

It didn't even come close to comparison.

"So, Clay, are you ready for college?" Paula started up conversation first; seemingly bored with the twenty minutes of silence they all found themselves in. She looked over proudly at her eldest son and smiled when he shrugged, as if getting into Columbia was an everyday experience.

"We think so; I'll give you a better answer when it's closer to the date."

"_We?_"

"Him and Chelsea, mom." Glen answered for his brother, barely containing his eye-roll. "She scored an apprenteship over in New York, they're going together. They've been discussing it for months, you know this." He watched a tirade of emotion flash across his mother's face, before turning his attention back to his mashed potatoes and gravy.

"Of course, I just thought..." She trailed off with a sad sigh, realising in that moment she really was losing her baby boy. She'd hurt him and he was letting her know.

"It's alright, mom." Clay smiled, ever the peace keeper. "Like I said, I'll be able to tell you closer to the date. If you're still here, you know." He smiled a little before looking at Spencer, hoping she would break her forty minute silence. She just smiled back at him and put her fork down, signalling she was finished.

"I'll be here, I don't officially leave work until October and it will take until then to find a house and settle in. The hospital back home -"

"Ohio," Spencer cut in forcefully. "The hospital in Ohio, not back home. Home is here, in LA, where we are." She levelled her gaze on her mother who just nodded; neither confirming nor denying what she had said was the truth.

"As I was saying, the hospital said they would wait until then and keep the spot open."

She looked around and any hope of that starting a conversation was dashed when her children didn't continue with any spoken words. They simply shared a look before glancing not very discreetly at the clock; it was another five hours before Arthur expected them home.

--

"You're pathetic." Aiden laughed as he sat down on the bed next to Ashley, who was looking hopelessly lost on her first real night without Spencer. Brown eyes flicked up to her best friend before she scowled and hit him hard with a throw pillow.

"I'm not."

Aiden continued laughing though and grabbed the pillow she had hit him with. She was kind of pathetic though, but he wasn't going to push that fact on her on behalf on his own life and his manhood. He'd never seen Ashley like this before, as intense as things were with Taylor she was never this heartsick and in love. Sure, it hurt she'd found all these feelings with _his _ex-girlfriend, or girlfriend at the time, but he couldn't deny either of them happiness. Besides, if they didn't find one another, he wouldn't have found Kyla again.

"What are you doing here anyway, Dennison? I thought you'd be necking with my cousin or something." She cracked a smile, before frowning at that disturbing image of her two favourite people.

"She and Madison are arguing over lip-gloss, or something."

"Madison? Why the hell is she everywhere at the moment?" She sat up and narrowed her eyes. "She's like a bad rash, or fungi."

"She isn't that bad." Aiden offered, already knowing how weak that argument sounded. He was grateful Ashley was civil to their old friend for the sake of him but even he couldn't deny that tension was there, and he would be stupid to deny being scared it might explode.

"No, she's worse." She huffed, before thinking better of it. "Look, I know she's trying to change and I get that. I do. But it doesn't erase everything overnight, just like that and I don't like people expecting it to."

"They don't."

"Mmm." The non-committed voice told Aiden to drop the subject, which he did.

"You fancy coming out tonight with us? Spencer won't be home 'til late, you know that, so you might as well come and have a good time."

"I'm on stand-by in case her mom tries to kill her." Ashley reasoned, indicating to her phone that was situated on her pillow, fully charged and at maximum volume.

"You can be on stand-by in Gray." He argued, pulling her up without any resistance. He knew how much Ashley liked to party. "If she calls, you can go, no questions asked."

"As long as you don't mind me staring at my phone all night waiting for her to text me back then I'll come." She smiled, already walking into her closet and picking out an outfit.

"I repeat; you're pathetic."

He only just missed the clothes hanger flung in his direction.

--

Spencer leant on the doorframe and watched her mother's form continue with the washing up, she had offered to help but Paula had told her she could manage and she should go and watch TV. Unfortunately, unlike her brothers, sports only entertained her for so long before she felt her brain melting and her will to live shortening. So, as Glen hollered at the television just exactly what the coach was doing wrong, she left the room for something better. Now, instead, she found herself trying to build up courage to speak to her own mom in a strangers house.

"You can come in, Spencer. I won't bite." Paula's voice was heavily laced with fatigue and Spencer felt bad for her, until she remembered why her mom was probably losing sleep. Then she didn't care so much.

"Dinner was lovely, mom, thank you." She and her mother might have had differing ideas on some things but Paula had brought them up with manners, and they both agreed they were important. Ashley, on the otherhand, usually had to be nudged into even muttering a thank you to the cashiers at McDonalds. Spencer smiled at the thought of her baby.

"It was just dinner, darling." The elder of the two blonde shrugged and dried her hands on a tea-towel before turning around. "Actually, I wasn't sure if you would even come."

"I wasn't going to," Spencer answered truthfully. "Ashley made me."

"Oh."

"So, technically, you should thank her that I'm here."

"Yeah."

Spencer shook her head at her mother's still disapproving voice. She had basically told her that Ashley was the one that made her come and still, she didn't like her because of something stupid. She took in her mom's apperance, from the silver cross around her neck to her conservative clothing all the way to the tired bags underneath her eyes. How she had feared this woman was beyond her, but how she could repect her baffled her even more, especially when, it seemed, her mother didn't respect her back.

"Next time we do this, maybe she could come?" One last attempt wouldn't hurt.

"Maybe," Paula sighed. "But this is more of a family thing, don't you think?" She avoided eye contact with her daughter, not wanting to see the resigned look that she knew resided there.

"I think," Spencer trailed off and dragged her blue orbs to connect with her mother's. "I think that's what you believe, Paula." She smiled half-heartedly before turning around and walking back to the living room.

Football was better than what she was feeling right now.

--

**miss u so much, cnt stop thinkn bout u. cnt wait to c u 2morrow.**

Ashley smiled at the text but knew better than to take it at face value, between the lines it was screaming for her to go and save her girlfriend and take her away from a hellish situation. Unfortunately, it was also telling her to stay where she was because it was something Spencer had to do.

Damn, she was getting better at this girlfriend stuff.

A drink was slammed down in front of her, before she could fire off a reply to her blonde, and she looked up to see Madison smiling at her with a tentative expression. She raised an eyebrow at the girl whilst placing her phone back in her bag and inclinded her head to the offered beverage.

"You look like you need it." The latina offered, still standing by nervously in case Ashley threw it her her face and beat her with the glass. Although melo-dramatic and highly improbable, Madison was still wary.

"You look like you need a face transplant but I don't go around slapping faces on the table for you to try out." She crossed her legs and pushed the drink away with her index finger. "Besides, you've probably tainted it."

"I was trying to be nice."

"You don't know the meaning of the word, Princess." She rolled her eyes and waited for the girl to move, instead though the latina stood her ground.

"You used to call me that in a _very _different situation, Ashley." That caused dark eyes to flash and Ashley was on her feet in seconds, her body mere inches away from the cheerleader.

"I thought you said never to mention that again," She took in a deep breath and hated herself for recognizing the familiar perfume the girl wore. "It's in the past."

"Exactly my point, Davies. It's the past. Can't we just move on and forget it, people make mistakes." A softening in the cheerleaders eyes caused Ashley to remember the past, remember when those eyes would look at her with delight and compassion. Underneath, she knew Madison was that same girl and if she gave her half the chance she'd be able to find her again. But she also knew Madison made her life hell, and that couldn't be so quickly forgotten.

"The only mistake I ever made was talking to you when I was five." They both knew it wasn't true.

"One last chance, Ashley. This isn't some trick, Aiden is going to college and I want my two friends back before school breaks up."

Ashley sighed and nodded slowly. Life was too short for all this shit, she thought, but then again...What else was longer than life?

"Whatever," She sat down a lot more gracefully than she said her sentence and pointed to the seat across from her. Madison sat down and perched on the booth seat, before looking at Ashley and smiling. "What?"

"I've missed...this."

"Yeah," Ashley whipped out her phone and opened it so she could finally text Spencer back. "Thanks for the drink. Can't wait to tell Spencer on the one night out without her I get drinks bought for me by girls."

Madison chuckled shyly and her eyes danced with mirth, something Ashley had missed. Although she didn't touch Spencer in looks, personality or general likability -Madison's eyes were pretty damn expressive, a very attractive quality.

"A girl who just so happens to be involved with her brother." She smiled and Ashley acknowledged the sentence with a small head tilt, a quirk her girlfriend had passed onto her.

"Oh really?" The lighter brunette nodded with a slight blush and Ashley laughed a little, only ever seeing the girl blush once or twice in a lifetime. "Gross, in a few years that could make us sister-in-law's." She scrunched up her nose playfully.

"In laws? Ashley Davies is thinking about the future, what a scary thought." She regarded the girl across from her who was in the middle of sending a text and she waited until the brunette was finished before continuing. "She's it for you, isn't she?"

"Maybe, yeah. It feels like it right now." Ashley sighed and took the drink Madison bought for her, bringing it to her lips and taking a sip. "She's amazing. I mean, she's with her mom tonight and my heart hurts just 'cause she isn't here. It's like, I can't go ten minutes without her." Ashley frowned at how much information she was giving the girl and took another large swig of the beverage.

"I'm happy for you, Ash. You deserve it."

The two fell into a silence, both contemplating their new found friendship and revelling in just how much they had both grown.

--

"Did I wake you?" Spencer whispered into the darkness, not wanting to disturb the relaxing atmosphere of Ashley's bedroom. She had let herself in, already having memorised the access code and the way to her girlfriends room.

"No," Ashley replied, grinning goofily at seeing Spencer. "I've only just gotten home in the hour." She pulled the covers back and smiled when Spencer didn't hesitate in clambering into the warm sheets after disgarded all of her clothes but her underwear.

"Where've you been? Not getting into too much trouble, I hope." The blonde asked, manouvering them so that their bodies were practically molded together.

"Went to Gray with Aiden but he disappered with the team at some point. I spent most of it with Madison," She felt the girl tense a little in her arms and Ashley knew that misplaced jealousy still swam in her baby's veins. "Bored the poor girl to death talking about you, how in love I was and basically killing her by telling her how much I missed you tonight."

"Did she tell you to shut up?"

"Several times," A kiss was placed on Spencer's shoulder which caused the blonde to smile. "What can I say, Carlin? I think I could be obsessed with you, or something."

"That is so not a sexy quality." The girl yawned against tanned skin and Ashley hid a grin at how unbelievably cute she was.

"How did tonight go?"

"It just got a whole lot better," Spencer whispered, already feeling the pull of sleep drawing her in. "She's still going to Ohio, she's still a bitch and I really don't think I care anymore."

"You do, you're a nice person baby. It's in your nature to care, but whatever happens I'm here."

"Stalking me, like the obsessed psycho you are?" Spencer chuckled sleepily and felt Ashley squeeze her hip playfully.

Neither spoke after that, Spencer fell into a peaceful sleep first before being followed by the girl holding her. A light breeze swept light curtains as the rest of the world span around them, moving forward but freezing for long enough to let them have that moment.


	42. Truthful Nature

Ignorance, in Paula Carlin's mind, was bliss. Ignorance meant she could believe that living in her mother's house, whilst the tenents of her new accomodation moved out, was normal. It helped her cope by suggesting losing her family and managing to freeze out her own parents was an everyday occourance. And, lastly, it convinced her that it was simply connection problems that stopped her from getting into contact with her youngest child.

But, if truth be told, she knew it was pathetic that she was sleeping in the guest room of her childhood home when she was pushing forty (and a bit.) She knew that she was to blame for forcing her husband into wanting a divorce and hearing those dreaded words of dissapointment roll from her parents mouths. And she knew, more than anything, there was nothing wrong with the connection of Spencer's cellphone, or hers.

Spencer just didn't want to talk to her.

But despite all that, it didn't stop her from uprooting herself from LA and moving back to the one place she thought she could find peace. Of course, when she'd landed on her mother's doorstep with a bag in hand and no family behind her; she could hardly blame the terse pout that greeted her.

"I told you it wouldn't last Paula," Her mother told her over a quiet dinner. She'd stabbed at her baby carrots and remained quiet as her mother continued. "LA is just too big a city for folk who grew up in a small town." Paula looked up, much like a scolded child, and nodded quietly. She'd yet to tell her that Spencer was in a lesbian relationship but she knew she'd be to blame.

So here she stood, looking out of the kitchen window as she built up the courage to talk to her mother. Beside her, the older woman was peeling potatoes methodically and was halfway to reaching for another when she felt a pair of eyes on her.

"I've told you Paula, it's rude to stare." She carefully placed down the peeler and turned to her daughter, despite her cold exterior the woman was still a mother. "What's wrong?"

"There's another reason I'm here, why me and Arthur broke up." Paula watched the elder blonde flinch, knowing the one thing her mother hated was defying the lord and divorce was going against him.

"There wasn't another person involved?" Paula squashed the urge to roll her eyes, knowing that something like infidelity would be the first conclusion her mother would jump to.

"No," She took a deep breath "We clashed over the children and the decisions they were making."

"What? That's absurd. You're their mother, you have a right over them."

Paula frowned. Although she'd heard those words before she'd never realised how possessive they sounded, how controling. Of course she had opinions on her children's decisions and often told them what to do; but she didn't control them. Did she? A cold wave passed over her as a image of her daughter's tear stained cheeks flashed through her mind and she flinched; she'd be callous.

"Arthur has a different approach. He thought we should let them get on with things and if they needed us, they'd come to us." Which made sense, Paula frowned again and wondered why she hadn't seen the appeal in that before. Then she saw her mother and it all came flooding back.

"Well are they healthy? Are they okay?"

"They're fine."

"So what's the problem? Why did you fight?"

"Spencer's gay."

The room fell silent and those two words floated around the small kitchen and Paula's mind. Spencer's gay. Not dying, not in jail, not out causing trouble or getting into drunken fights. Just gay.

She was happy and healthy and doing just fine at school, in fact if anything Ashley was helping her on a little. She was still polite and curtious, she prayed before dinner and attended church each Sunday.

"Don't be so stupid, Paula." The woman snapped, turning stiffly back to the potatoes. "Spencer wouldn't do that."

"It's not a choice she made, mom. It is what it is, she is who she is." Even as the words fell from her mouth, Paula couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't said this earlier. Why she hadn't said it to Spencer.

She still found the situation hard. Afterall, women and men made children and were supposed to be together in her mind. It was how the world worked, how it was meant to be and how it all fitted together. Her daughter was gay, she would be the topic on everyone's lips if they still lived here. She would be the target of everyone at school. Paula didn't want that for her, she wanted her safe and happy.

Which...she was.

"No grandchild of mine is...homosexual." A potato fell to the floor but Paula kept her eyes on her mother. She heard her own voice, way back when Spencer had told her she was with Ashley in the living room.

"She is."

"No, I won't hear of it." The older woman casually put the peeled vegetables into the simmering water and turned around. "But if you're adamant about this, we can fix it. You can get your marriage back on track, we'll get help for Spencer and you can be a family again."

Once more that night flashed in Paula's mind.

-

_"What do you want me to say, Paula? That I agree? I don't. Spencer is still my daughter, whether she is gay or straight. Just like Clay is my son, despite his colour. I can't stand back and listen to this. Why can't you accept Spencer?"_

_"Because no daughter of mine is gay."_

_"But mom I am." Spencer cried, needing her mom to understand who she was._

_"Well I'm sorry, Spencer. I can't accept this." Slowly, she knelt down in front of her daughter and looked her in the eyes. "I'll get you help, Spencer. There's this doctor, he's really very good, we'll fix this and everything will be fine again."_

_-_

"She isn't the one who needs help. She's okay." Paula whispered, hating how bigotted and wrong her mother sounded. She hated how alike she was the the older woman.

"If she is what you say she is, then she does."

"She's okay." The blonde reitirated. "She's fine."

Slowly, she turned around and walked out of the room. A heavy feeling weighed down her stomach that felt very much like dissapointment. Climbing the stairs to her temporary bedroom she wondered briefly if this is how Spencer felt all along.

--

"You look hot." Ashley grinned, walking into Spencer's bedroom like she owned the place. It was the final few days of school before the summer started and the school was holding a dance, almost like a prom but for the year below the leavers. The cheerleaders had decided the theme should be black and white, much to the whining of Ashley, and everyone had to attend.

Ashley, once adament that she wouldn't be going, soon found herself buying a dirty white dress for the occasion because she knew how much Spencer liked to be the social one. She'd seen the girls eye's light up as soon as the cheerleaders had put up the flyers for it and had reluctantly agreed to go but "only for an hour." Truth was, she knew she'd stay all night as long as Spencer kept smiling.

"You say that everytime you see me." The blonde shook her head and put her mascara down. Her dress was just as elegent as Ashley's, but was a mix of black and white rather than the one solid colour. It worked, if only for a night.

"Well you're hot everytime I see you." Ashley argued, sitting on the bed carefully. She didn't want to go to the stupid dance but if she was going to go, she was going to look damn good.

"How did Aiden get invited to this, he's a year above us." Spencer turned once and stopped quickly, only just noticing how utterly breathtaking her girlfriend looked in formal wear. She felt her breath catch in her throat and by the amused expression on the girl across from her, Ashley'd noticed.

"The cheerleaders love him, he can go anywhere he pleases. Plus, Kyla's coming to this thing cause technically she's in our year." The brunette shrugged not really caring about Aiden or Kyla or the dance.

"Right." Spencer sounded distracted and Ashley chuckled deeply, the low cut dress seemed to be a hit.

"Are you sure you wanna go tonight? We can just stay here."

"With my dad downstairs? I think not Miss. Davies." She held out her arms as Ashley lifted from the bed and wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist. "Besides this way we can pretend it's the leavers prom for Aiden." Under her fingertips, Spencer felt the girl tense and inwardly cursed herself.

"Yeah." Ashley kissed the girls cheek and ran her hands up her back. "Can we get him drunk?"

"No, Ash."

"Can I get drunk?"

"If you want."

"Why can I get drunk but I can't get Aiden drunk?" Ashley asked, only continuing her line of conversation so she could stall time a little longer and be alone with her blonde for a while.

"Because, _ma cherie, _I'd much rather take you home when your drunk than Aiden."

"Because you'd wanna take advantage of my intoxicated state?" The brunette laughed, wiggling her eyebrows and pulling the slender girl closer to the own warm body.

"No, because I've heard Aiden strips when he's blasted and there's only one person I want to see naked."

"Me?"

"Megan Fox." Spencer laughed at Ashley faux pout and kissed it quickly before moving away as a horn sounded outside. "Our carrige awaits, darling."

"Are you sure we have to go?" The brunette moved tight up against Spencer's soft body and rolled her hips slightly against the younger girls. "I really, really don't want to leave this room."

"It'll only be for an hour, or so."

"Promise?"

"Only if you're good." With that, the blonde grabbed Ashley's hand and led her down the stairs to where she knew her dad would be waiting with a camera and Aiden would be getting impatient of how long they were taking. In the back of her mind, she wished her mom would be there, but she knew that it would be uncomfortable. Especially when Arthur caught a candid picture of Ashley kissing the side of Spencer's head.

"That one's going in the memory box." Arthur stated, as the girls left the house with slightly red cheeks. "My little girl's first love."

--

The party was lame.

"This sucks ass." Ashley narrowed her eyes at the DJ who had resorted to playing 80's rock music in the hopes they would all pull a Grease or High School Musical and simultaniously start singing and dancing. Ashley hated people like him.

"Come on, Ash. Lighten up, it could be worse." Spencer almost cringed because as soon as the words left her mouth the DJ screamed into his microphone for the room to 'make some noise.' He got a few catcalls and interesting hand motions in response.

"Told you we should have stayed home."

With a cheeky smile, Spencer turned her head to the side and placed a wet kiss right below Ashley's ear. She didn't care they were in a crowded room of peers, she didn't notice the stares or the smiles or the sneers; she just tasted Ashley. The girl consumed her when they were like this, intimate without actually being intimate.

"We still have time to go somewhere."

"Spencer..."

"Come on," The blonde urged standing up. "You've been a good girl."

The smile that took over Ashley's face almost cracked it in half and she quickly stood up, straightening her dress as she did so. She walked out, hand in hand with Spencer to an unknown destination. She looked around, Aiden gave her a goofy thumbs up as Kyla rolled her eyes laughing. Madison seemed indifferent, a look passed her eyes that Ashley couldn't place but the distinct warmth in her palm brought her back to the present time and she quickly made her way out of the building with her blonde.

With Paula gone, Spencer sure was staring to loosen up.


	43. Apologies

From: The Author.  
To: The Readers.

What can I say? Sorry. I never meant to let this story die like this and I never meant to let the characters lose their way like I did.

Life got in the way, as is usually the case and unfortunately I let my hobbies slide away. Writing, reading or even watching the television as corny as that sounds.

My job is demanding, fifty-hours a week, but I love it and I am finally where I want to be. I also love writing, that has never gone away and I shouldn't have let something I love just go like that.

But, now my life has settled nicely.

I have time to just sit back, watch the sun set behind the hills outside of my house and drink a hot cup of tea and just relax.

I feel that I can write again and this time, I can focus on these parts of my life that I enjoy.

So, with that in mind, I am going to finish this story.

Unfortunately, I find myself lacking: I no longer understand the characters I wrote in this universe, their decisions and their actions.

Instead, I will wrap it up with a nice, long; one-shot that will tie up any loose ends and answer any questions that may have arose.

I hope to have this out before I go back to work on Wednesday.

Thank you to all those who still, even now – three years on, are putting me on alerts and follows and whatever else has come up with.

Hopefully, you will enjoy this and I know, really I do, I know that it feels like a cop out by not truly finishing "WIMS" in the traditional way and I apologise for that.

Again, thank you for everything.

Here is a small section of what I want to show you; maybe you'll enjoy.

* * *

Title: **Stop The Clocks.  
**Rating: **T  
**Summary: **A glimpse into the future of the characters from the Written In My Sins universe.**

The envelope was mocking her, the off-white colouring, the gold decoration, the cursive handwriting on the front; all of it was making a spectacle of itself on the mantle.

It had come in the post three days ago and she had held it in her shaking hands, already knowing exactly what was on the inside and feeling a weight in her stomach. Her knees had started to shake and she'd felt lightheaded, the paper in her hands feeling a lot heavier than it should have done.

She knows now, after opening it, what she should do; but she doesn't. She can't.

It's been too long.

She remembers how she had tried at first, to save her marriage, her family; but the seeds had already been sowed and her beliefs, her morals, although lighter now hadn't changed.

They'd asked her to, told her she'd be welcome back if she could open herself up.

But she couldn't.

She remembers that she had tried so hard, she remembers how she had almost come to accept her daughter, but in the end, she found it too hard to face LA again.

She knows she missed too much to start again.

Graduation.

Glen's first child.

Arthur meeting a new woman.

And where had her morals gotten her? She laments, staring at the envelope, the soft sunset making it glow a warm yellow.

She'd lived a hollow life, scowling along with her mother when gay marriage bills were passed, wishing she could make herself change.

Wearily, she picks herself up from the chair and shuffles across the room, almost afraid of what she is going to read. Though she knows, she has it memorised.

She opens the top, making sure she unfolds the paper carefully and she holds it up in front of her.

_"Dear,_

_Miss. Paula Spence & Mrs. Mary Spencer._

_Together, we are delighted to announce our engagement._

_On the 15__th__ September 2020, we cordially invite you to celebrate with us, the wedding of; _

_Miss. Ashley Davies & Miss. Spencer Carlin."_

Below are details of where in New York they will be marrying and the time and date; six months from now.

Her mother has already decided against this, answering Glen's phonecall about her attendance and claiming flying from Ohio to New York at her age is too dangerous and that Paula won't be attending either.

As she reads the card once more, she doesn't think New York is truly that far away.


	44. Stop The Clocks (Part One)

**Title: **Stop The Clocks.**  
Rating: **T. **  
Summary: **You think life was difficult as a teenager; try growing up.  
**Notes: **

This is long.

Like 10,000+ words long.

So I've split it into two chapters; both will be posted tonight though.

There are a lot of time jumps but I had a few years to fill, sorry. Hopefully it reads nicely. It's completely un-betaed so any mistakes are mine and mine alone.

I started writing this at 14:00 today and it is now 20:41, so I probably have missed some was written to the album "Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds.".

I changed a few things from the preview I showed you earlier; simply to line it up correctly with the timelines.

I would just like to say a big, big thank you to all those who still read this and encouraged me to continue it, finish it, whatever. You're all great and I hope everything you wanted when you started reading this has come true for you.

**Act i.**

Filtering through the dusky morning mist, claiming the window, the sunlight made its way into a shared bedroom. Its fingertips tickled the blinds, hovered across the carpet and slowly climbed up onto the high bed.

It was almost like it was examining the room, carefully tracing the outline of the furniture, taking in the imagery on the wall of diplomas and pictures and awards.

Bravely, it climbed higher, stroking the cheek of the woman in the bed. Like a soft sigh over delicate features, tenderly gazing over full lips and flickering eyelashes.

Mornings in New York were rarely this peaceful. The streets below were filled with screaming taxi drivers, shopkeepers rushing to start the day, business men and women chattering into cell phones as they held steaming cups of coffee; too tired to be polite, too engrossed in their own lives to see someone else's.

Spencer held her breath.

She watched from the loft high windows, looking down at all the people who were rushing around with their lives. Sometimes, she wanted them to look at her, because they would be envious, they would stop for a moment and just wish that their lives were as nice as hers.

They'd see the coffee in the pot, the low hum of jazz on the stereo as she got ready in the morning.

They'd see the charming mess of the living room, shoes not in the rack by the door, a jacket over the back of the couch rather than the hook.

They'd see a bottle of wine, two glasses and cartons of Chinese; forgotten on the table, ignored when the urge to be touched and to touch in return became too much.

They'd see a home.

Spencer's eyes darkened.

They wouldn't see a family though, not yet.

But soon.

Soon.

* * *

"Hey beautiful," a voice called from behind her, making her body jolt in surprise. She didn't turn her head, instead waiting for strong arms to embrace her body and a silky voice to invade her senses.

Sometimes, her fiancé was too predictable.

As two arms wrapped around her, Spencer let her body lean back; despite the difference in height. She wasn't worried in the slightest about letting Ashley hold her weight; she always would without question.

"Good morning, darling," she replied back, smiling when the woman embracing her giggled into her neck. She loved these relaxed moments, where all she had to worry about was Ashley falling asleep on her back or her coffee being ignored in favour of kisses.

"Darling?"

"It's sweet," Spencer replied, turning around and facing a sleepy face. "You look exhausted."

"I call you beautiful and this is how you repay me?" The woman pouted, fixing Spencer with a look that spoke volumes. In return, Spencer rolled her eyes at the woman's behaviour.

"You know I think you're gorgeous, Ashley," she placated her girl. "I'm just saying if you want to stay in bed today then you can."

"Mmm," brown eyes flickered closed, a peaceful look overtaking tired features. Spencer let her eyes kiss the sheer beauty that was Ashley Davies. Even with bed head, sleep in her eyes and a face creased from pillows she was still as breathtaking as she was when they were teenagers.

She felt her heart leap, knowing this woman was hers, for now, for always. Like a crescendo in an orchestra her heart lifted, making her stomach twist, making her breath catch.

She was hers, always.

"Go on, baby."

"I wish. But the bar doesn't run itself and I have to go down and check on the delivery. Dave has a habit of over ordering supplies and I'm throwing more food out than I'm serving."

"Don't you have a manager to oversee all these things? You work so hard."

"Yeah, but she's on holiday with her boyfriend for another four days. As soon as she comes back I'll take some time off, we can plan where we're going to go on our honeymoon."

Spencer couldn't help her giddy reaction; she rocked up onto her toes and smiled so hard she felt her teeth ache. She moved her hands up from where they'd been holding onto Ashley's arms and tangled them into long hair.

She wanted the kiss to be slow, to tell Ashley she couldn't believe they were doing this; they were getting married. But, instead, she crashed her lips against pink ones and sucked hard on Ashley's bottom lip. For her efforts, she received a moan and manicured nails dug into her shirt, holding on tightly.

Panting, she pulled away, running a tongue over her bottom lip and letting her eyelashes flutter at the taste of pure Ashley on her.

Ashley sent her a look and moved her hands so that they were at the bottom of her shirt. With a raised eyebrow, Ashley pulled it from Spencer's body and began leaving hot, wet kisses along the swell of her breasts.

Yeah, all those below, all those people?

They'd be envious if they saw her life.

**Act ii.**

It hadn't always been kisses and roses and talks of weddings.

She watches as Ashley pulls on her white shirt, tucking it into her grey trousers and moving away to start with her makeup.

After high school came college.

Sure, predictions were they would last the distance. That the relationship would stand the test of time and fight long and hard through the tough times.

They were fated, meant to be; soul mates.

But the reality was that it was hard.

There were things such as deadlines, mid-terms, and essays.

They'd tried so hard to last, they really did. Ashley would travel from Chicago where she was studying Business to Spencer in California; and Spencer would travel the i80 to get to her.

But the pressures of money and workloads and friends; they all tied together to make one big mess.

They were too young to cope with it, Spencer reasoned. Too young to hold a relationship and get a degree and make friends and start living an adult life; especially with over 2,000 miles between them.

She remembers the phone call clearly. How she'd phoned to see how Ashley's night out was only to be met with her girlfriend sobbing down the phone, crying out how much she missed her and how college was useless if she had nobody to home to at night.

They'd ended their relationship there, almost two years to the day.

She remembers she was sat on a bench in Oval Park. It was heartbreaking, she remembers that classmates were walking past her as she held her stomach, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Ashley's voice haunted her. _I love you so, so much Spencer. But I can't keep hurting like this. And neither can you. _

She'd agreed, of course she'd agreed. They both spent too many hours of the day pining over one another when they should have been living their lives.

That didn't mean she didn't feel her heart snap in two.

* * *

A year after graduating, Spencer found herself in the city of New York. She was there with an on/off girlfriend, Heather, looking at job opportunities.

She and Ashley had drifted apart, finding it too difficult to continue talking.

Six months after their breakup, Spencer had to unfriend Ashley from Facebook. Her ex had been tagged in too many places with the same girl to not be suspicious.

Two months after that, Spencer saw that Aiden had liked; _Ashley Davies is in a relationship with Hannah Jordan._

A month later, Ashley saw that Aiden liked; _Spencer Carlin is in a relationship with Heather Samuels._

She'd received a private message from Ashley, congratulating on her relationship and wishing her all the best on her Psychology degree.

Spencer had replied a polite thank you, and wishing Ashley luck on her thesis.

After that, there was no contact at all.

She loved California; but she needed a break. After college, she'd gone back home for a while, but the memories had hurt too much.

Her parents' divorce.

Her father's new girlfriend.

Ashley.

And so she'd uprooted again, moving across the country to New York; desperate to try her luck somewhere else.

The fates were smiling on her that day.

She was leaving a high rise red brick building, a new contract for a job in her hand, when it had happened. Heather had texted her that she wanted to meet for a coffee and Spencer had an idea how that was going to turn out. Heather was lovely, beautiful and sweet; but they both knew she deserved more.

She stopped on the sidewalk, tapping at her Smartphone in reply, when she had felt a presence behind her. She knew enough about New York to tuck her phone into her blazer pocket, holding it tightly and she moved to walk away.

"Spencer," the voice was husky, covered with desire.

"Ashley?"

"God," Ashley had whispered, eyes filling with surprise as the woman turned around in front of her. "Oh God."

"Ashley?"

"What are you doing here, Spencer? In New York."

"I applied for a job."

"In New York?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Honestly? I don't know," she frowned, looking at her ex. If anything, she'd grown more beautiful. The years hadn't made her harsh but instead seemed to have mellowed her out. Her hair was straight, her body covered in professional attire (a black blouse and dark slacks.)

"God, it's really you."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

Spencer smiled sweetly and let Ashley take her hand carefully.

"Can we start again, Spencer?"

She remembers how bold Ashley had been, but how her eyes had nervously flicked all over the street, unable to look at Spencer's face in fear of rejection.

Instead of replying, Spencer had pulled her closer and held on to Ashley as tight as she could.

**Act iii. **

Paula closed the door quietly to her elderly mother's bedroom. It was still early, just after seven in the evening, but Mary had found herself becoming weak after a long day and had started retiring early to bed.

She moved quietly down the hallway (passing pictures of herself and family) making herself a cup of English tea in the limited light of the kitchen, before moving into the sitting room; ready to settle down for the night herself.

She knew this wasn't a proper life, even now in her late forties; she should be socialising, not living at home with her mother.

But for Paula this is how it had worked out, this is the life she had made for herself and her stubborn attitude made sure she didn't change that.

After the divorce, Paula had moved back to Ohio, too afraid of showing her face back in L.A after disowning her own daughter and refusing to change her ways. The divorce hadn't been as long as she thought it would be in fact it was the aftermath that had tired her soul.

The accusing eyes of neighbours, people who questioned why she would leave such a decent man and such a lovely little family. The constant nagging of her family, friends, neighbours; telling her, no demanding her, to go back and work on her marriage like a proper woman would.

But worst?

The worst was how they agreed she'd done the right thing, abandoning her daughter because of who she loved.

The worst was her mother who never told her what she was doing was a mistaking.

The worst was cutting contact with Spencer.

But, it seemed, cutting contact with one child meant she had to sever ties with them all. Glen had married a young woman named Gabrielle, according to Arthur, and were expecting a second child this year. Clay had moved in with Chelsea, they now lived in Columbus and were happily engaged.

But she heard all of this second hand.

Because she was simply too ashamed. Too ashamed to pick up the phone and just apologise to her sons, to her husband - to her daughter. She didn't want to be vulnerable, to be told she was wrong; because she wasn't wrong. Her opinions were her own and she wouldn't be told what to feel.

Her family knew that.

She thought that probably made it worse.

Because even now, Paula knew, deep down in her heart, that if she picked up the phone Spencer would continue talking to her like a daughter would, she'd forgive her if she could only apologise.

Because Spencer was all the good things that she wasn't.

* * *

It was a Wednesday when the postman came with it.

It was a cold day at the beginning of March but she'd been sat outside, breathing in the crisp air and warming her hands on a cup of tea and honey. She hadn't needed to go to work that day, having told the hospital she would do the night shifts and the earliest shifts in exchange for Monday to Wednesday off.

The postman, George, had meandered up the path and handed her the stack of letters the house received.

She'd flicked through them listlessly.

She'd stopped though, at the prettily decorated card in the middle.

She hadn't opened it then and instead placed it on the mantle in the living area. Her mother had opened it first, scoffing quietly before phoning Glen.

(He never asked to speak to Paula.)

But now.

The envelope was mocking her, the off-white colouring, the gold decoration, the cursive handwriting on the front; all of it was making a spectacle of itself on the mantle.

It had come in the post three days ago and she had held it in her shaking hands, already knowing exactly what was on the inside and feeling a weight in her stomach. Her knees had started to shake and she'd felt lightheaded, the paper in her hands feeling a lot heavier than it should have done.

She knows now, after opening it, what she should do; but she doesn't. She can't.

It's been too long.

She remembers how she had tried at first, to save her marriage, her family; but the seeds had already been sowed and her beliefs, her morals, although lighter now hadn't changed.

They'd asked her to, told her she'd be welcome back if she could open herself up.

But she couldn't.

She remembers that she had tried so hard, she remembers how she had almost come to accept her daughter, but in the end, she found it too hard to face LA again.

She knows she missed too much to start again.

Graduation.

Glen's first child.

His second.

Clay's proposal.

Arthurs' new woman.

And where had her morals gotten her? She laments, staring at the envelope, the soft sunset making it glow a warm yellow.

She'd lived a hollow life, scowling along with her mother when gay marriage bills were passed, wishing she could make herself change.

Wearily, she picks herself up from the chair and shuffles across the room, almost afraid of what she is going to read. Though she knows, she has it memorised.

She opens the top, making sure she unfolds the paper carefully and she holds it up in front of her.

"_Dear,_

Miss. Paula Spence & Mrs. Mary Spencer.

_Together, we are delighted to announce our engagement._

_On the 15__th__ September 2016, we cordially invite you to celebrate with us, the wedding of; _

_Miss. Ashley Davies & Miss. Spencer Carlin."_

Below are details of where in New York they will be marrying and the time and date; six months from now.

Her mother has already decided against this, answering Glen's phonecall about her attendance and claiming flying from Ohio to New York at her age is too dangerous and that Paula won't be attending either.

As she reads the card once more, she doesn't think New York is truly that far away.

**Act iv.**

The party was well underway and Spencer moved her hips to the music pouring in from the backyard. She bumped her hip playfully into Ashley, grinning at the giggle she got in response.

A young band Ashley had found on open mic night were performing, covering well known songs and entrancing the intoxicated crowd that covered Aiden's terrace.

Aiden had done exceptionally well for himself after college. His scholarship had opened up several opportunities and he'd played professional basketball for five years, before he retired early. Instead, he set up his own gym and offered free basketball classes to underprivileged kids in the area.

His charity work plus his own success had earnt him enough that he could settle happily in Manhattan with Kyla. The two having gotten together only a year earlier.

"Hey Spencer, can you help?" Kyla called out from the kitchen which led out to the backyard, where, it seemed, the entire of Murray Hill were partying.

"Uh, no," Ashley interrupted, wrapping an arm around Spencer's waist and pointing a finger at her cousin. "I think you'll find this is our engagement party, Kyla. So, just, shut up."

Spencer smiled at her drunken fiancé.

"Yeah Ky, I'll come now," she called merrily. "Hey Ash, go and find Aiden."

The young woman opened her mouth to reply, but was distracted quickly by the band playing a Stone Roses cover. Oh God, she loved The Stone Roses.

Classic.

With her woman sufficiently distracted, Spencer made her way through the doors to help Kyla. She quickly found her near the drinks cabinet, inspecting a bottle of tequila.

"What do you need me to do?"

"So, Ashley let you come and help then?" The two women stared at one another before chuckling well naturedly. "No, of course not. Where is she?"

"I sent her to look for Aiden."

"Oh," Kyla grinned and held up the bottle of tequila. "Shall we?"

* * *

"So, like, why haven't you proposed to my cousin yet?" Ashley argued, slumping down in the chair next to the tall man. He looked across at Ashley, a frown in the middle of his eyebrows and he worked out what he was supposed to say to that.

"Uh, hey Ash. How are you holding up?"

"Uh, shut up. For real, why haven't you?"

"Ashley, you're twenty-five. Why are you still saying 'for real' anyway?"

"Because this is serious business, Dennison. I know serious business, I have a degree. I went to college and everything."

"You're drunk aren't you?"

"Yup."

Aiden chuckled to himself, wrapping a strong arm around Ashley's shoulder and pulling her into his side. He slapped him half-heartedly, muttering about how he smelt of sweat, before leaning against him, the dizziness catching up with her and her eyes started to droop.

Together they watched the band play, the people mill around, drinking, eating, and congratulating Spencer and/or Ashley whenever they saw them.

It was perfect.

Almost.

"Aiden?"

"Mm?"

"Does Glen talk to Paula?"

"I don't know," he replied, shrugging and displacing her head at the same time. "We don't really talk about that sort of stuff."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"Spencer – she," Ashley sighed and sat up slowly, letting her brain catch up with her body before she continued. "She wants her mom at the wedding. Like, she sent her an invitation but – fuck, my head is spinning."

Aiden sat up and grabbed the bottle of water he was drinking, handing it to his friend. "Here."

"Thanks," she took a swig and held the bottle between her knees. "She hasn't even replied, you know? I mean, it's her daughter's wedding day and yeah, I get it, she doesn't like me. But, what, what about Spencer? She should be there for her, right?"

"Yeah she should," Aiden agreed. "Have you spoken to her?"

"Are you mad?" Ashley scoffed, picking at the label of the water. "She'd crucify me through the phone. And, it's not even me who wants her there. She made Spencer cry so many times, I don't like her. But, you know, it's Spencer's day. I want it to be perfect."

"It's your day too, Ash."

"No," she shook her head, a smile tugging on her lips. "No, see, I don't have to marry Spencer to have a perfect day. It's always perfect."

"God," Aiden laughed loudly and pushed Ashley away, laughing harder at her swaying motion. "No more drinks for you, Shakespeare."

* * *

"So, what did you need help with really?" Spencer looked through her lashes at Kyla. They'd been in the kitchen a good fifteen minutes, and as much as Spencer needed the break, it was also rude to disappear at your own party.

Even if it was held at someone else's house.

"Uh," The woman started, adding more ice to her vodka tonic. "I don't – This is stupid."

"Go on..."

"Ashley told me earlier about, you know," she cringed, closing her eyes tightly when Spencer didn't respond. "God."

"Told you what, Kyla?"

"About," she took a breath. "About you not, you know, being able to – to have a baby."

Silence overtook the kitchen and Spencer felt the entire air fly out of her.

She felt like she had when they'd been sat in doctor's office, only two days earlier. They'd been trying to conceive for nearly thirteen months through an anonymous donor; but Spencer couldn't.

Or, in Doctor Kershaw's words, the chances were very slim.

Money had been spent, more money that they probably had.

But they wanted this, craved this. They wanted to be wives, mothers; they wanted a family.

She can see now, how Ashley had sobbed into her open hands and how Clay, who had come from Columbus to oversee their case with Dr. Kershaw, had moved from around his side of the desk and embraced them both; apologising profusely – like it was his fault.

No words were spoken and Kyla looked up fearfully, "I'm sorry, Spencer. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," she shook her head and placed her hand over Kyla's. "Don't be sorry."

"I am though," Kyla sounded like she was talking underwater, tears clogging her voice. "I know this is a stupid time to bring it up and, I don't know, it's probably the vodka making me do it. But Spencer, I'm here if you need anything alright?"

"I know, Kyla. Thank you."

**Act v.**

The venue was sorted, the after party was sorted, invitations were sent out, dresses were bought, both bridal parties had hen parties ready and waiting; all that was missing was her own family.

Spencer curled her body around Ashley's, her palm resting on the woman solid collarbone and her own leg hitched over Ashley's. She knew the woman wasn't asleep, she could tell by her breathing, but Spencer also knew Ashley wasn't going to start talking unless Spencer wanted to.

She ran her nose along the soft skin of her fiancés neck, inhaling the fragrance she had come to love almost as much as the woman who held it. She tightened her grip and felt Ashley move closer to her, humming softly as she turned to face her.

"You should be sleeping," Ashley whispered, moving her hand to run along Spencer's spine. "You have that session tomorrow with that boy."

"Mm," Spencer replied. She wanted to sleep, it wasn't fair to her clients if she didn't turn up at work looking and feeling her best. As a social therapist, she had a duty to make them feel important and not just another person. But life was starting to creep up on her.

"Hm, baby, tell me what's bothering you."

"I can't," Spencer choked out, burrowing father into Ashley's skin.

"Why not?"

"Ashley, are you happy?" Spencer turned her head, looking into those deep eyes that she craved. "I mean, do I make you happy?"

"What?" Ashley furrowed her eyebrows, moving to sit up. She pulled Spencer with her and turned to flick the bedroom light on. "Spencer."

"I just, I ask so much of you Ashley," her eyes dropped to the bedspread. "You put up with my family, my mother. You're marrying me, despite never wanting to. You're so supportive of this baby thing. You pay for this wonderful apartment and –"

"You pay too, Spence."

"Not as much."

"What does that matter?" Ashley grasped at the hands in front of her, finding herself becoming increasing frustrated with this withdrawn woman. "Spencer, look at me."

Looking up, Spencer's stomach curled inwards at the tears and passion on the face of her love. She knew what was coming, the impassioned speech, but what she needed to know was one thing.

"Ashley, please. Just answer me, do I make you happy?"

"The happiest, Spencer."

"Even if I can't have our baby?"

Ashley's jaw dropped and she pulled Spencer to her roughly, wrapping her arms around her body and holding the woman as close as she possibly could.

"Spencer, I love you. I've loved you for as long as I can possibly remember. This is a minor hurdle, okay? There are other ways, adoption, fostering – God, I'll carry our child."

"What? But Ashley..."

"I know what I said, alright? But that was months ago," Ashley looked into blue eyes, making sure Spencer understood everything she wanted to say. "Of course I'd love to see you pregnant and yes, I am terrified I won't make a good mother. But baby, listen to me. If you want a family, if you want to be a mother, I'll make you one; do you hear me? Forget what I said before, about not wanting to be pregnant and about being afraid; I told you once I'd give you everything, and I will, I swear it."

"Ash," Spencer dropped her head, tears carving imprints onto her cheeks and she sobbed. "You would, you would carry our child?"

"Anything, I'll do it Spencer. I will."

* * *

They decided to wait.

The wedding was coming up and both Spencer and Ashley had careers they wanted to focus on. They both knew, children were not easy and Ashley knew she needed time to adjust.

The idea of Spencer being pregnant excited her in a way she never thought possible. The idea a life, a life of her child, would grow inside the woman she loved – God, that thought was amazing. And she knew Spencer would look perfect with a swollen stomach, with a little waddle as she walked.

Ashley could imagine it now, the cute tantrums of her blond haired daughter, the mischief of her blue eyed son; everything, she wanted it and it was perfect.

But right now, she wanted Spencer.

She wanted nights where she could take her out, wine and dine her and then take her back to _their _apartment and make love to her in any and every room they had.

She wanted to be able to sneak up on her, grab her and hoist her onto the kitchen counter. Wanted to push her skirt up around her waist and take her then and there.

She wanted to kiss her soundly and deeply and run her hand along the waistband of her workpants before slipping her hand beneath the lace and watching as Spencer fell apart around her.

She knew it was selfish, she did; but they had forever.

They would have a family, they would have the two children and the kitten and the puppy and whatever the fuck else Spencer asked for.

They would have the holidays to Disneyland. They would have the PTA meetings and the sleepless nights and the bedtime stories and she couldn't wait.

But she wanted to marry Spencer first. She wanted to have a honeymoon and have the first fight as a married couple and then she wanted the makeup sex and the apologies and the real life.

And then, when they'd had that and they'd done that; they would bring a brand new life into the world and love him or her endlessly.


	45. Stop The Clocks (Part Two)

** vi.**

Ashley was sat behind the computer in her office. The illumination of the screen and a small desk lamp were the only two light sources in the room.

She leant her elbow on the desk and took her glasses off with her free hand, rubbing her eyes simultaneously.

The wedding list, it seemed, continued to grow. First it was only close friends and family and then the people she worked with, well they kind of needed to come (you know, since their work was paying for it.) And then people at Spencer's work wanted to drop in, celebrate with them. Soon enough, some distant relatives from Ashley's side had heard about the engagement – thanks Aiden – and had invited themselves, along with Spencer's distant family and their kids.

The bands that Ashley let play in the bar, they'd suggested they play too; inviting their wives and boyfriends, plus kids and now Ashley wasn't quite sure who was coming to the wedding these days.

The restaurant where Taylor was a manager had offered to host, the band attending being a major factor for business and a famous ex-basketball star attending was sure to turn heads, but obviously they charged per head.

The amount of people had tripled since she had last gotten a price.

This, obviously, meant the price had tripled too.

And Spencer, well she was like a kid in a candy store.

She saw an ice fountain, complete in the shape of a wedding ring, she wanted it.

She saw matching her and her decorations, she wanted them.

And Ashley?

Ashley couldn't say no.

She let out a sigh and looked over the finances again. With two bars and a share in Aiden's gym, Ashley wasn't exactly hurting for money and with Spencer now working full time as a therapist, they were actually doing alright.

But six IVF treatments later obviously had set them back a lot of money and that was before the wedding of the century.

And this money, the money they'd put away for their wedding fund, it was going fast.

She jumped when the phone started ringing and she glanced quickly at the clock; 22:43.

"Hello?" she answered, leaning back into her chair.

_"Ashley, where are you?"_

"I'm still at work," Ashley replied quickly, not wanting to worry Spencer. "I'm about a year behind on paperwork, I'm sorry I didn't call."

_"I've been worried sick. You could have called, or text."_

"I'm sorry."

_"Right. Hey, listen. I was talking to Chelsea today and she told me she bumped into Madison, apparently they're good friends or something. Anyway, she told her about the wedding and she'd like to be there. How nice will that be?"_

"Another person? Spencer, come on. We haven't spoken to Madison in years. She doesn't need to be at the wedding."

_"What? Of course she should. You were friends at one point and her and Chelsea –"_

"For fuck sake, Spencer. It's our wedding, not Chelsea's. You know, sometimes it's more your wedding than mine; so yeah, let's invite the bitch from years ago!"

As soon as she yelled she regretted it. She was being irrational and it wasn't Spencer's fault.

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

"Nothing. I didn't mean it. I'm tired and I have a headache and I'm sorry. If you want Madison there –"

_"What did you mean by its more my wedding than yours?_

"Nothing, I told you – Whatever. It's our wedding and I'm excited for it and just, whatever."

_"Oh, you sound real excited Ashley."_

"Because it's quarter to eleven at night, Spencer, and I'm still fucking working," Ashley gritted out, unsure where this was all coming from. "I'm working so we can afford all of these fucking guests and the vanilla cake you want and the hairdresser you _need _and everything else, alright? I'm working so fucking Madison or whoever can come and we can afford to feed her."

_"You know what Ashley?"_

With that, Spencer hung up.

* * *

All right, she gets it.

She overacted.

Shut up.

* * *

It was half seven the next morning when Spencer heard the key in the lock. She'd been awake all night, angrily rolling back and forth in bed, cursing Ashley's name and then biting her bottom lip that she still hadn't come home.

This fight, though, it wasn't her fault.

Right?

Ashley had overreacted, right?

Not her.

Yeah.

"Where have you been?" Spencer shot up from the couch when the front door opened and she watched as an exhausted looking Ashley stumbled into the living room. "What the hell, Ashley?"

She cringed when she saw the woman roll her eyes at her, obviously tired and emotionally drained and all Spencer wanted to do was make it better.

God, why hadn't she realised what Ashley was doing for her?

"Darling, I'm sorry," Spencer quickly moved to Ashley and took her in her arms. "I'm so sorry. You know I appreciate all that you do and I just got carried away an –"

Spencer was cut off by Ashley's mouth.

A tongue wet her bottom lip before taking solace in Spencer's mouth, soft lips curved over her supple ones and Ashley pulled her hard against her body.

Spencer felt lightheaded and gripped onto Ashley's shoulder's to collect her bearings.

The kiss was rough and hard and fast and all of Spencer's emotions crowded together in her heart before shooting straight down to the apex of her legs. Her knees buckled as she felt herself getting more turned on by a dominant Ashley and she broke away from a bruised mouth, sucking in deep lungful of air.

Ashley, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind. She moved her lips to Spencer's neck, trailing a tongue behind before sinking her teeth into smooth, milky skin.

It was passionate and hard and Spencer felt herself being shoved back into the wall.

One leg came up, wrapping around Ashley's hips, pulling a firm stomach against her centre and rutting her own hips against it, desperately searching for friction.

"Fuck," Ashley dropped her head to Spencer's shoulder and moved her hips against Spencer. "Fuck."

"I'm sorry," Spencer whimpered, tugging on Ashley's shirt. "I'm sorry. Let's get married tomorrow, in our jeans, down at Town Hall. Let's get married, Ash. I don't need it all," she trailed off into a strangled groan. "I want you, Ash."

"No," Ashley ran her teeth along a vein in Spencer's neck, moving down to nip along the thin skin on her chest. "It'll be big, the biggest New York has seen. God, Spencer, I want you to have everything you've ever dreamed of in a wedding. I was stupid, so stupid." She kissed her way up to Spencer's lips and opened her mouth against the other woman's.

For long moments they kissed, hips rolling against each other, before Spencer pulled away; throwing Ashley's shirt to the ground and staring at the topless woman in front of her.

"I love you, Ashley," she moaned out when the shorter girl pushed her cotton pyjama pants to the floor, fingers finding their target easily. "You're everything, you're all I need."

**Act vii**.

"I look awesome!" Aiden grinned at the two women in front of him. Spencer, it seemed, was the more interested out of the two; helping Glen, Clay and Aiden all pick out their suits from the tailors.

He looked at all of them; all of them were in grey suits, since they were part of the wedding party, with waistcoats and slim ties.

They looked gorgeous.

"Ashley, hey Ashley," Aiden shouted across at the woman, how was busy typing furiously on her Blackberry. "I'm gonna look better than you on your wedding day."

"Sure cowboy, whatever you say."

Spencer and Aiden looked at the distracted girl with furrowed brows. Aiden jumped down from the stand he was on, to let Glen take his place so the tailor could take his leg size. He walked over to his best friend and swung an arm around her shoulders.

"As your best man, I would like to know what is going on in that head of yours," he whispered, knowing it was probably something to do with Spencer.

As if on cue, Ashley looked to her fiancé and then up at Aiden; silently telling him she couldn't talk. He was about to suggest they leave the room, when Ashley's phone beeped again and the woman was torn from the conversation.

"What's going on with my future wife, Dennison?" Spencer called out, holding a length of fabric that the tailor was cutting to design Glen's waistcoat from.

"I don't know."

"Maybe she has another wife," Glen remarked, dodging out of the way when Spencer went to hit him. Only to find himself being cuffed around the back of his head by Clay.

"Cut it out, jerk." The older boy grinned.

"Hey guys," Ashley announced from the corner of the room. "Uh, well, hey Carlin's?"

"What's up?" Glen turned to face her, one eye still on the mirror. Damn he looked good.

"Uh, your moms gonna be coming to the wedding."

There was a long silence until, "What?" rang out in the small room.

"How, what, when –"

"Three super questions, baby," Ashley smiled and moved to her fiancés side. "Um, she e-mailed me."

"Saying what?" Clay asked ever the calm one.

"She wants to come, she wants to apologise..."

"How is she getting here? When is she coming?" Spencer asked in a daze. "How long have you known about this?"

Ashley bit her lip; the truthful answer was about a week, just after they had had their argument and sufficiently made up again in the hallway.

And the kitchen.

And the living room.

Her back still hurt.

"A while."

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I didn't want to get your hopes up, Spencer," Ashley explained, looking around the room at the siblings. "Any of you, you know what your mother is like."

"Why did she contact you and not us?" Glen asked, clearly hurt.

"Do I look psychic, I don't know."

"She can't come, right Spencer? I mean, she's awful." The blonde man continued. "My daughters don't even know who she is. She never sends them cards. She decided to leave this family, not us."

"I –"

"Maybe we should give her a chance? She is our mother after all," Clay broached bravely. "Maybe she's finally seen sense."

"Yeah, like five years too late," Aiden piped up, shoving his hands into his pockets. "She hated you Ash, don't look at me like that."

"Whatever," Ashley turned to Spencer and cupped her cheek. "Spencer, do you want her there?"

"I – Maybe?"

"It's completely up to you, you know. Only –"

"Only what, Ash?"

"I kind of booked her a flight already."

* * *

Aiden, Glen and Clay all watched as Spencer left the room; very closely followed by a swearing Ashley.

"Shit," Aiden looked around at the fellow groomsmen. He was Ashley's best man, of course, but Glen and Clay had both wanted to be a part of the wedding.

Glen had made himself official ring bearer, despite Aiden supposedly having that duty.

And Clay was walking Ashley down the aisle.

"God, that woman is evil," Glen frowned, nodding at the uncomfortable tailor as he signalled he was going to leave the room.

"No man, wait," Aiden held his hand up. "She's your mom, give her that."

"Dude, she walked out on us. She didn't come to my wedding, or the christenings of Brooke or Eva and that just doesn't sit right. She's been gone far too long."

"I've sent her pictures of the girls," Clay spoke quietly. "She never replies."

"See?" Glen pointed out. "And you know what's going to happen. Dad will walk in with Angela and mom will scowl, like Angela hasn't helped dad stay clean for years. And then she'll say some underhand comment about them both wearing dresses and us being a part of the service."

"Maybe she won't?" Aiden tried.

"Even if she doesn't, Aiden, it's too late for me."

* * *

Ashley followed weakly behind as Spencer pounded the pavement in front of her. She kept a close eye on her woman but also on her phone, where she noticed two new e-mails from _carlinpaula ohiogeneral_

Oh fuck.

"Look Spencer, if you don't want her to come, I'll ring the airline and cancel the tickets. I mean, she can't hate me much more than she already does, right?"

"It's not that, it's," Spencer turned and looked at Ashley, looked at her frightened face, her nervous posture. "Why didn't you tell me she wanted to come?"

"I didn't want you to think she was going to," Ashley frowned at her explanation. "She said she wasn't sure and that she was scared and if I told you and then she backed out, I didn't want you to be sad."

"You still should have told me."

"I know," Ashley relented, knowing she was right. "I should have told all of you. But, Spencer – I know how much her being there would mean to you. I've told you once; I'll tell you a million times, I want you to have the best day possible."

"Ashley, you keep saying that like it's only me who is getting married," Spencer stepped forward, placing soft hands low on Ashley's hips. "What do you want?"

"You."

"And?"

"I kind of want to make Aiden sing. And Glen. Also, if we can, I totally want to do it at the restaurant and the after party."

"Anything else?"

"I want nothing more really. I want to see you come down that aisle to me the happiest you have ever been, Spencer. Because all my family will be there, and yours, and they will see that how we love isn't ugly. It's perfect, okay?"

"When did you get so good with words?"

"I know a guy," she grinned at Spencer and wound her fingers into blonde hair. "What do you want?"

"I want you and a big cake. And I totally want to do it at the restaurant and the after party."

**Act viii**

"Ashley, darling, you look divine," Ashley's mother held her hand up to her mouth as Ashley walked out of the changing rooms, showing off the final details to her wedding dress.

It was a simple, sleek design, off-white with touches of light grey to highlight the monochrome theme of the wedding. It had a short train, but overall it was a simple design; Ashley not wanting to go over the top since they would both be wearing dresses.

Kyla smiled and stood next to Ashley, her black and silver bridesmaid dress clashing wonderfully next to Ashley. The cousins looked at one another; both wishing Julie could be there.

Kyla's mother had passed away, leaving Kyla in a state of shock and sheer desperation.

But they both knew that if she could have been there, Julie would have been Ashley and Spencer's biggest supporter and to cry over it would be to bring a happy day down.

"Have you seen Spencer?" Ashley asked them both, turning this way and that to see the design in the mirror. Both women nodded in response. "Is she gorgeous?"

"Yeah," Kyla smiled. "She cried though, so like, be aware of that. I have to ask though, why couldn't you have had a pink wedding. I would have been down for that."

"Black is classy."

"Black is for funerals."

"Good. I'll know what I'll be wearing to yours then if you don't shut up about my wedding."

"Well you already have the dress for it."

"Girls, girls," Ashley's mother softly calmed them down, pushing two glasses of champagne towards them. "Calm down, have a drink. Today is a wonderful, wonderful day."

Ashley held back a laugh at her mother.

Their relationship had been strained, but with the passing of Julie and the knowledge that Christine could leave Ashley with their relationship in tatters; the two women began to forge themselves something new.

It wasn't perfect, Ashley hated her mother's ever growing need to stay young and Christine didn't understand Ashley's need to work when she could settle for money.

But they were family.

Maybe that's why she booked Paula's flight without telling Spencer?

* * *

Spencer stepped out from behind the curtain and Chelsea, who'd be idly texting Clay to make sure to pick up dinner, nearly dropped her phone at the sight of the bride.

If elegance was a person; Spencer was her.

"Do you think it's a little tight on top?" Spencer grabbed at her chest and turned to Chelsea, who was sitting in a matching bridesmaids dress to Kyla. She caught her reflection and saw how flushed she was to be wearing a wedding dress; one she would be marrying Ashley in; in just a few weeks.

Once more, Spencer had opted for a more sleek dress; with a flowing train, rather than a big dress. She wanted all the attention on her and Ashley as they showed the world they loved one another. That what they had wasn't a sin or ugly or dirty or whatever people claimed.

It was love.

Pure, simple, intoxicating love that she couldn't, and wouldn't, live without.

"No," Chelsea dismissed, standing up and straightening the corset around Spencer's midsection. "You look lovely, Spencer. Really, you look wonderful."

"Thank you," Spencer blushed.

"So, I hear your mom will be in attendance?"

"Yeah," she mumbled back, picking up a necklace and holding it up to see if it went with the dress. "I don't know though. Maybe I'll just ask her to come to the after party, rather than the wedding. Not everybody will be happy to see her."

"It's your day," Chelsea agreed, shaking her head at the necklace choice and taking it from her hands.

"I don't know."

* * *

"Jesus," Ashley panted, her naked chest heaved and she let her body drop back onto the bed, half of her face buried into the pillow; too tired to even move. Next to her, Spencer was in a similar position, sweating and breathing heavily.

This, this right here is what she loved about them.

How years had passed and they still managed to work each other up to the point of absolute exhaustion.

"Ashley," Spencer moaned, rolling to her side and resting her hand on a flat stomach. She couldn't wait until she did that and she could feel a life in there, one day she would do it and she'd feel their baby kick.

"Mm, that was perfect," Ashley sighed, turning only her head to look at Spencer. She was pretty sure she couldn't move for a few hours. Her thighs were burning from hovering over the blonde, her breasts and lower back were covered in scratches and bite marks where Spencer had gotten carried away. Her legs were still trembling and she was sure she would be more than sensitive for the rest of the night.

Her woman had mad skills.

"You looked amazing, Ashley," Spencer grinned, kissing along the other girls shoulder. "God, watching you like that, on top of me moving, you looked –"

"Shh baby, don't," she laughed, grabbing Spencer's wandering hand. "Three go's in and I'm done now, I can't go again." She pulled the hand up to her lips and kissed along Spencer's fingers.

"Poor Ashley," Spencer giggled, curling into the woman.

"Poor me," she agreed pouting.

They were quiet for a while, the sound of their ragged breathes and their pounding hearts being the only things that echoed through the room.

It was another ten minutes before either of them shifted, Ashley being the one to get up and claim she needed the bathroom. As she stood, Spencer noticed the scratches on the woman's lower back and bit her lip, promising she would be more careful next time. She knew they'd fade by tomorrow and it wasn't her fault she'd get so carried away; Ashley just knew how to work her up.

Her phone chimed from the nightstand and she groaned as she turned to grab it, the sheets sticking to her sweaty body as she moved.

How had movie night turned into this? She grinned.

She flicked her phone to highlight the screen and saw an unknown number. She frowned, knowing that sometimes her clients somehow got her personal number to call her at unsociable hours. Usually, she'd be alright with it, and often found herself driving the streets to pick up a troubled person.

But she was three orgasms in now and she was pretty sure her legs didn't work.

_Unknown.  
08/24/2016. 23:19._

_Hi Spencer, it's your mom.  
Thank you for the invite to your wedding.  
I'm sure by now you know I'm coming.  
I'm sorry for everything._

"Hey, good lookin'," Ashley called out cheekily, climbing back into the bed and shivering dramatically. "We seriously need to get under floor heating. Can you please check if my boobs are still there?"

"Ashley, did you give my mom my number?"

"No, of course not why?" Ashley sat up, wiggling closer to Spencer's warmth. "Also, I asked you to touch my boobs and you brought up your mother. This doesn't sit well with me, Carlin."

"She just text me."

**Act ix**

Paula walked off of the plane with a sigh, her eyes darted around nervously. Somewhere she felt like people were judging her, making comments about how her daughters' lesbian fiancé had paid for her first class seat to attend their first class wedding.

She knew it was stupid, that people going into New York cared less about her than they did about anyone else. And she knew people in New York would rarely care that her daughter was a lesbian, in fact, they passed a bill for gay marriage; so really, people were probably more likely to congratulate her.

It still didn't sit right with her.

Why did she come? Maybe she could just tell the people at the airport that there was a mistake, right? They could get her on a plane home and everything would be the same as it was last week.

"Hey Mom," shaking, she glanced up and saw Clay and Chelsea. She frowned, didn't they live in Columbus? What on Earth was going on?

"Clay?" Tears broke out, slipping down on her cheeks, "Chelsea, what are you doing here?"

"We're here for the wedding."

"It's not for another few days though," she took in a shaky breath, looking at her eldest son. He looked so grown up, professional and settled. And Chelsea, Chelsea looked radiant.

"Mom," Clay smiled wearily, like she should know this. "We've been helping out. Spencer and Ashley are so busy at work and I've taken my holidays to help out this week. We come back as often as we can to meet up."

"Is Glen here too?"

"Course, he lives here in New York with Gabrielle and the girls," Chelsea supplied helpfully, hoping to catch Paula up on everything that she missed. "He works with Aiden coaching basketball."

"Spencer's Aiden?"

The couple shared a look with one another; both looked tired; like they didn't want to face this. Paula knew what she was coming into, why would she question it?

"Uh, yeah?" Chelsea answered, "But he's more Kyla's Aiden now. They're together."

"Oh, that's lovely," Paula nodded. She tried to not let it show that Clay had yet to embrace her. Instead, she nodded to the baggage and asked for help to grab her belongings.

"So, we got you a room at a hotel near all of us," Clay told her, picking up her suitcase with ease. He understood now why they had asked him to pick Paula up, it was difficult enough for him and he hadn't truly fallen out with his mother. Well, not until he'd learnt they lived in the same state and she still hadn't contacted him, despite him trying. "You're real close to Ashley and Spencer, where we're staying, and Glen is literally two blocks away. We have reservations for a meal tonight, so me and Chelsea will come and get you."

"Oh, I thought," Paula trailed off, smiling faintly at Chelsea as they lead her to their car. "Never mind."

"I'm sure Spencer would have liked for you to stay at the apartment, Paula," Chelsea said softly, opening the door for the blonde nurse. "But they only have enough room for them and us.

Clay was glad he was loading the luggage into the car so his mother didn't see his cringe at the bold-faced lie that Chelsea had told. He caught her eye as they both shut the doors they were occupying and they climbed into the front of the rented car.

Usually, on their visits to New York, neither hired out a car; but they made an exception this once.

Ashley and Spencer's apartment was worth the money they spent. With three bedrooms, all en-suite, with living room, dining room and kitchen; they definitely had room.

Spencer had point blanked refused to have her mother stay, despite her good nature, she knew that with the stress of the wedding, the stress of work and Ashley's temperament around her mother; something would go horribly wrong.

* * *

"So she's here in New York?" Spencer ran her fingers through her hair and listened to Clay on the other end. He reassured her she was happy with the hotel – thanks Christine – and that she would be coming to the meal tonight.

Kyla had suggested it, knowing how volatile mothers could be. Christine and Ashley had to have a public meal to settle their differences, considering neither were dramatic enough to make a scene. It had worked though, although sometimes strained, the two were on better terms.

"Thanks Clay," she sighed, "I'll see you and Chelsea tonight."

She placed her phone on the table, the backlight still shone showing a picture of her and Ashley. She couldn't remember where it was taken, Ashley had her arm out, holding the phone and Spencer had nuzzled her nose against her soft cheek. Both women grinned back at her.

Her backlight dimmed and before she knew it, she was tapping her phone to see it again.

* * *

Ashley pulled her top lip into her mouth as she stared around the table with wide eyes. She brushed her hands down her dark green dress, smoothing out any wrinkles and then moved across; carefully taking Spencer's hand into her own. She let her eyes wander again, Spencer was wearing a pale yellow sun dress and in Ashley's opinion; she was smokin'.

A cough interrupted her gaze and she looked up to find Glen shooting her a disapproving look. Oh, maybe her gaze had wandered to that neckline.

She sent him a small smile and it widened when he simply rolled his eyes and instead put his hand onto the table, straightening his shirt sleeves. He looked across when Gabrielle began to fix his tie that had become wonky, the blonde fidgeting; obviously nervous around her mother-in-law.

The one she'd never met.

Clay and Chelsea were talking quietly to Paula, obviously explaining who Kyla and Aiden were and why they were sitting at the table now. Well, a different spin on it.

Everyone else knew Kyla, Spencer and Aiden were probably the only ones who would keep Ashley sane if Paula said or did anything that she didn't approve of.

"So, Gabrielle," Paula asked through the silence and both Glen and the woman in question snapped their heads up. "How long have you and Glen been together?"

"Oh," she shrugged one shoulder. "Nearly four years. I work at the gym too."

Spencer shared a smirk with Ashley. When they'd first met Gabrielle, Ashley hadn't been able to take her eyes off of the woman. She'd come up to them, dressed in a sports bra and a pair of full length leggings. Glen had made the introductions, but Ashley had obviously been taken with her.

Spencer, even now, continued to tease her about it.

"That's great," Paula smiled. "And your girls, how old are they?"

"You'd know that, mom, if you ever replied to Clay's e-mails," Glen spat out. He didn't want to bring the night down, but this was stupid.

They'd survived all this time without her and they could continue.

"Glen," Spencer hissed.

"I'm sorry," he rolled his eyes. "Brooke will be four in October and Eva has just turned two."

"So close together, how do you do it?" Chelsea asked, directing Gabrielle's attention away from the battle that was starting to form across the table.

"So, you married because she was pregnant?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm glad you have a complete family Glen. And you seem to have a wonderful career, I'm so proud of you," Paula nodded to herself and Ashley noticed she was trying, they all did.

"Thanks," Glen replied, reaching out and taking a sip of his iced water.

"And Clay? How is work in Columbus?"

"Busy," he chuckled. "You'd be surprised how many people need IVF these days, or have difficulty conceiving at all. It's quite –"

He stopped himself, his mouth still open to finish his sentence. Gabrielle and Chelsea had stopped talking too, both whipping their heads around to look at him. Paula watched as Glen shot a glance to Spencer and wasn't ignorant to the fact that she had turned to Ashley, the other woman obviously trying to get her to look at her.

"Spencer I –"

"Yeah," the blonde replied, knowing exactly what he was going to say. "It's alright."

"Still, I didn't mean to bring it up at dinner."

"Uh, you kind of still are dick for brains," Glen jeered across the table, causing the occupants minus Paula to start laughing nicely.

Ashley grinned, knowing it hurt Spencer and herself to talk about; but having their family around like this made it a little easier. They had decided together to announce at a later date that they were going to try for a child again in a year, or so. Only this time Ashley would be carrying.

They shared a look, both knowing what the other was thinking and Spencer leant sideways; she connected their lips together in a sweet kiss that had Kyla clapping happily. She was possibly two or three strawberry daiquiris' too far.

The food couldn't come quick enough for Paula.

* * *

The night continued in the same way, Paula would ask questions of Glen and Clay, glance across to see Ashley and Spencer talking to Aiden and Kyla and then they would eat the next course.

"So, Ashley, have you decided where you're taking Spencer on your honeymoon yet?" Aiden asked between a bit of his pasta. He watched as the brunette froze for a moment, obviously unsure whether to announce it to the table or not.

Or, judging by the look on Spencer's face.

Ashley didn't know much about it.

"Yeah," Spencer smiled confidently. "It's booked and everything."

"So," Gabrielle asked, loving the idea of a real honeymoon. Of course she enjoyed what she could with Glen, but being so heavily pregnant; flying somewhere glamorous was out of the question. "Can we know?"

"We're going to the Maldives," Spencer announced proudly, quite clearly shocking Ashley. "I found the perfect place, it's gorgeous. I booked it as soon as I saw it and when we get there, I have a surprise for Ashley."

"Hot," Aiden called out, laughing when Kyla elbowed him.

"No, but a surprise anyway."

"You do?" Ashley looked at Spencer, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. "Spencer, can we – we're going to the Maldives?"

"Of course, Ash," she replied, turning in her seat. "You been so patient with me during this whole wedding thing and you've worked more hours than I knew were in a day. You deserve to be treated."

"Spencer," Ashley blushed, completely embarrassed. "I don't need treating for giving you what you deserve."

"Shut up, Ashley," Glen called out. "You're making us look bad."

"Yeah," Clay agreed. "Come on, leave us some charm."

Aiden looked around the table, "I'm doing alright, thanks. I practically made Ashley so,"

Spencer laughed and looked across at her mother; only noticing now how uncomfortable she looked. But whether it was because she was talking about her honeymoon or the fact Paula felt left out, she didn't know.

**Act x.**

It was today.

Today.

Her wedding was today.

Oh God, she was getting married.

* * *

"Aiden!" A scream rang out from Aiden's guest bedroom and Aiden found himself falling over not only himself, but his dog, his shoe and the bottom of his pants that he'd yet to button up.

With his less than graceful stumble, Aiden fell straight through the open door and landed on his stomach in front of the dressing table where Ashley was sat.

Next to him, his dog Genesis licked at his hand and gave him a pathetic look.

"What the hell are you doing, Dennison?"

"Trying to save you," he groaned, rolling over onto his back. "Shit, I think I've broke my ribs."

"Well if you have; wait until after the ceremony," Ashley told him, standing up and moving to look down on him. "For real, what the hell?"

"Stop saying for real, woman!" He sat up swiftly and pulled himself into a standing position, shocked by how tall Ashley was.

Wait.

He lifted the bottom of her gown, ignoring the hand slaps, and saw the heels she was wearing.

"You're going to break your neck."

"I'm going to break yours if you don't help me."

"Help you what?" he asked, rubbing his chest. "You screamed, I came to help and all you've done since then is shout at me." He scowled a little a looked away, turning his attention to his unbuttoned pants.

"I did not scream," Ashley pouted.

"There was screaming," he nodded in reply, finally pulling the belt straight and turning his attention back to his scowling best friend.

"Lies," she pointed at him. "I would never scream in one of your bedrooms. In fact, I wouldn't scream in your presence. Unless I saw you naked."

"Look," he smiled at her, thoroughly amused. "What is it?"

"My eyelashes won't stick."

"...What?"

* * *

A knock at the door interrupted Kyla's careful attention to Spencer's hair. Whatever that hairdresser had done was a miracle. She was pretty certain there was a bird in there with all the feathers. "I'll get it," she smiled at the bride, who seemed pretty happy hyperventilating on the couch.

She stood up quickly, knowing Spencer couldn't in her corset dress, but before she could arrive the door swung open and Chelsea tottered in comically in her heels.

"Graceful," Kyla deadpanned to the woman holding, what seemed like, a garden of flowers.

"Name the last time you saw me in heels, Woods," Chelsea called back. She smiled when the young girl seemed stumped by that question.

When was the last time?

"Oh hey," Chelsea dashed to the door as quick as she could. "Paula, it's this one."

Spencer's head shot up.

* * *

"Don't," Aiden warned, glaring at his friend. He blew lightly on the glue that would stick Ashley's eyelashes on and moved to put them on her. He leant back, surveying his work and making sure they weren't wonky. "There, they're fine Ashley. You were probably just shaking too much."

"I can't believe you know how to put on fake eyelashes," Ashley laughed, finally free from having to sit still.

"Aiden can do what?" Clay asked from the door, laughing himself.

"I know!"

"God, I hate you. And now I'm glad it's Clay walking you down the aisle in those shoes, Davies. Cause when you fall, both of you are doing down."

Ashley stopped laughing.

* * *

"Hey, hey," Glen called from the doorway. "Your ride is here! Sorry I'm late. Eva decided she wanted pudding for breakfast and almost, _almost,_ ruined that dress mommy wanted so bad."

Hearing Glen talk about his life made Paula smile and she looked up, happy to be away from the awkward silence that had filled the room.

"Where's Gabrielle?" Kyla asked, quickly gathering her belongings together. When Glen didn't answer straight away, she looked up in confusion.

"Spence," he breathed out. "Baby sis, you look stunning."

He seemed to be in shock.

"You do," Paula confirmed, noticing the sparkle in her daughters eye. "Ashley is going to faint when she sees you."

It was a start.

* * *

"My father drives faster than this and he's dead," Ashley complained, poking Aiden in the leg. He ignored the jab, knowing the nerves were simply getting to her and smiled at Clay, who looked more than amused with her.

"You think he's gonna be watching, Ash?"

"Uh, of course," Ashley turned her attention to Clay. "Have you seen me?"

* * *

The hall was crowded.

Taylor was there with her girlfriend.

Madison had turned up too; a small boy seated on her lap, who looked the spitting image of his mother.

Gabrielle had turned to see the doors open. She was sitting with both of her daughters, each getting more and more giddy at the prospect of seeing 'daddy doing his duty' as Glen had said. Their little feet were bouncing on their seats, trying to get a better look.

Christine was sat right at the front. Although she had wanted to, she knew being a part of the wedding party was a little too much for Ashley and had respectfully stood back when Spencer and her daughter had announced they wanted Clay to walk Ashley down the aisle.

It had stung.

But she'd made her bed.

Paula was sitting close to Gabrielle, the young woman happily letting her daughters' grandmother sit near them. When she'd arrived at the house, Paula had known straight away that Spencer didn't want her that close.

But, she'd work on that.

If it took until her dying day; she'd make it right.

The music started and Ashley began her walk down the aisle. They'd flipped a coin for it and Ashley had won, knowing Spencer would rather see Ashley's face at the front that none at all.

Whereas Ashley was simply trying to walk in her heels and not look like she was about to throw up.

"You're doing great," Clay told her.

Sure, he wasn't the first choice to walk down the aisle with her. That should have gone to Aiden, really. But she wanted him at the front, being the rock she knew he was. He kept eye contact with her as she stepped forward, letting her know he was there, assuring her that what she was doing was perfect.

Then she noticed the stain on the front of his jacket that he'd gotten when an eyelash had fallen on him and it took pretty much everything she had not to fall over laughing then and there.

In another life this could have been their wedding, Ashley mused.

But this wasn't another life; this was her life and she wouldn't change it for the world.

* * *

Spencer heard her cue and gripped her father's arm.

Arthur chuckled deeply, pressing a kiss to the crown of Spencer's head before pulling back and spitting a feather from his mouth. Spencer laughed at that, truly laughed.

"Let's do this," Spencer heard Kyla giggle from behind her.

She stepped out and heard the gasps that Ashley had gotten; this is what Ashley must have felt when she'd taken her turn to walk down.

And God, did she look gorgeous. She saw Ashley sway on the spot a little and she smiled at her, assuring her that yeah, she felt the same. She took in a shaky breath, her eyelashes fluttering shut as she finally, _finally,_ stood in front of the woman of her dreams.

As the officiate stood in front of them, ready to begin the ceremony, she saw Ashley hold her gaze.

"You ready to start the rest of our lives, Mrs Carlin-Davies?"

"I've never wanted anything more."

**FIN**

**Boom, done. That's it. **

**Now I know some people want the vows and the wedding and the fluff; but I can't write that. I see too many fics drag on through ceremonies and vows and gooey, love stuff that – I don't know, I don't think it always translates down very well. **

**I want you to imagine your own wedding for these two, you know them, you love them. **

**Imagine their future, cause I don't want to ruin the imagery you may have for them.**

This section ended up being 27 pages, over 11,000 words and I sincerely hope you enjoyed it.

**Thank you so, so much once more.**

**Broken-Devil.**


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